Race Wars!
by kattx
Summary: the Mario Anime Race Wars saga. read it all, it's done!
1. opening theme to the saga

RACE WARS THEME  
(Lyrics)  
  
The odds are over.... (RW flags fly) The series, very close... (RW flags fly) Every battle is for the flag.... (RW flags fly) This is the beginning of the end!  
  
(theme music kicks in now) 3.....2.....1.....GO! (tires screech off) Start your engines, fill your tanks up, it's time to get ready to go. And remember while racing, that there is no tomorrow. Grab your friends and get ready, it's time to give it all you got. Racers ready. Go out and beat your rival!  
  
*chorus* Two sides... Givin' all they got. One goal.. To be the badasses o' the road! All bets... are reputations on the line, It's time to show what you can do!  
  
[bridge] Get ready! Get goin'! It's time to give it all you got. Race Wars! It's time to be the demons of the track! Race fearless, fight bravely, Show them all what you can do! Race Wars! But remember that, this is the beginning of the end. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Challenge made and... accepted, now let's get things underway! Show what you're made of, show me what you can do. Got the rules made and the courses set. Time to go out to the track! Let's go racers. Show me what your made of.  
  
{cinema} "I Mario Mario, leader of the Mario Kart Racers, will show you all how to truly race."  
"I Diddy Kong, along with my friends, The Diddy Kong Racers, shall show you how to really run the track."  
"Hah! Do you care to put your money... where your mouth is?"  
"We'll beat you anytime of the week."  
"Bring it, then!"  
"Just watch us!"  
  
"If this is how you feel... Then let's seal the deal, and prove to all the 'Demons of the Track!' =======================  
  
DKR! MKR! Race for the flags! Race Wars, Race Wars! DKR! MKR! Battle for the flags! Race Wars, Race Wars! DKR! MKR! Show me what you got! Race Wars, Race Wars! DKR! MKR! This is the beginning th-th-th-this is the beginning b-b-beginning b-b-beginning of the end! "Let the Race Wars begin!"  
  
*repeat chorus twice*  
  
This is the beginning of the end!  
  
[repeat bridge] Remember that, this is the beginning of the end! Yes remember that, this is the beginning of the end! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"This is going to get interesting!"  
"Yes, interesting indeed!" 


	2. the beginning of the race wars!

RACE WARS  
Part 1  
The Challenge  
  
The challenge has been made and accepted. Mario and the gang were up against Diddy Kong and crew. The DKR team was already at the meeting place with DK and Taj.  
  
Diddy: You did tell your friends we were supposed to meet today, right Uncle Donkey?  
  
DK: I told them about it, Diddy.  
  
Timber: Where are they?  
  
DK: Don't worry, they'll show up.  
  
TT: Good things come to those who wait.  
  
Diddy: I'm giving em' five more minutes.  
  
Suddenly, Team DKR heard the sound of karts and saw the MKR team, at least four of them anyway.  
  
Diddy: Here they come.  
  
Timber: I can hear the planes.  
  
Pipsy: I can hear the hovercrafts too.  
  
DK: I told you they would show up.  
  
Yes, Team MKR did show up, but in a different way than DKR. DKR came five cars and five planes, but MKR mixed things up. Mario, Luigi, Bowser and Peach showed up in karts, Yoshi, Wario and KT showed up in hovercrafts, and Baby Mario, Toad and Waluigi showed up in planes.  
  
Diddy: (smirk) Took you long enough.  
  
Mario: Better late than never, besides, we had to "divide and conquer" so to speak.  
  
Diddy: Ha ha, it is to laugh.  
  
Luigi: You won't be laughing when we get through with you.  
  
Timber: I couldn't have said it better.  
  
Taj: Settle down everyone. Okay, you were brought here today for one reason; the weapons. Team captains step forward. (Mario and Diddy walk up to Taj) Here's how it works. Simply show us and describe the weapons that will be used for the contest, this way you have no disadvantage. Of your weapons, Donkey Kong and myself will choose the weapons that will be set for the remainder of Race Wars. Mario, let's start with you.  
  
Mario: Okay. Feather; this makes our karts jump. Useful for tough shortcuts. Single Mushroom; a temporary speed boost. Triple Mushroom; Single Mushroom times three. Super Mushroom; unlimited speed boost for a short time. Super Star; limited invincibility and speed boost. Thunder Bullet; shrinks other racers for a limited time, slowing them down. Small racers can be smashed. Boo; limited invisibility, steals another persons weapon. Keeps you from being hurt. Green Shell; fires in straight lines and bounces off of walls. Can be fired in front or behind you. Triple Green Shell; Green Shell times three, except they can't be fired behind you. Red Shell; a homing Green Shell, can turn corners. Triple Red Shell; Red Shell times three. Spiny Shell; goes after whoever's in first place.  
  
Diddy, Timber & TT: Ow, looks painful.  
  
Pipsy: Sounds painful.  
  
Mario: It is painful, Pipsy. And only another Spiny or a Star can stop it.  
  
Tip Tup: What about the Boo?  
  
Luigi: That works too.  
  
Mario: Moving on... Banana; spins you out. Normally dropped behind you, but can be fired in front of you. Banana Bunch; five Bananas. Bomb Box; looks like a real item box, but it's a bomb. Any more questions?  
  
TT: How can you tell real item boxes from the fake ones?  
  
Bowser: When you hit it.  
(MKR laughs at TT)  
  
Pipsy: What can Boo steal?  
  
Yoshi: Useful items, useless items, first place.  
(Yoshi and Peach laugh at Pipsy)  
  
Diddy: Okay, it's our turn now.  
  
Mario: Whatcha' got for us?  
  
Diddy: Missiles; just like your shells. Jetpaks; just like your mushrooms. Shields; keep you from harm and spin out other racers. Droppers; somewhat like your bananas. And Magnets; bring two racers together.  
  
There was silence in the meeting place.  
  
Yoshi: Is that it?  
  
Diddy: Excuse me?  
  
Yoshi: Are those all of your weapons?  
  
Diddy: Yeah.  
A few more seconds of silence before Peach snickered, then Team MKR cried in laughter. Diddy and crew were really POed.  
  
Conker: What's so funny?  
  
Baby Mario: You expect to beat us with just five weapons? I'm gonna' put some bricks in my diaper.  
  
Toad: Wait, wait you guys. There has to be more than that, it sounds too good to be true.  
  
Bowser: The mushroom's right. It sounds a lot like phooey, big time. Do your weapons do anything else?  
  
Diddy: Yeah, they power up.  
  
Toad: Power up?  
  
Timber: Yeah. Unlike you guys, who have enough weapons for war when you race, ours are few. However, they power up.  
  
Luigi: Since you have no choice but to do so, explain.  
  
Diddy: Explain? Sure, Pipsy...  
  
Pipsy: Okay. First the missiles. Missiles shoot in a straight line and blow up on contact. Pick up another missile, and the weapon upgrades to a homer. Get it again and it's like getting ten missiles.  
  
Yoshi: Ten rounds huh? I can get used to that.  
  
Pipsy: Jetpaks upgrade your speed. The more you get, the better your boost. Shields are just like the Super Star, except for the boost. The stronger, the better. Droppers work a little differently than your bananas.  
  
Mario: How so?  
  
Pipsy: When you pick up a dropper, it's an oil slick, or a green fireball if you're flying. This will upgrade into a mine, then into a bubble.  
  
Peach: What good is a bubble?  
  
Krunch: You'll find out when you run into the hard to see thing.  
(DKR laughs at Peach)  
  
Bowser: What about the Magnet?  
  
Pipsy: Magnets pull two racers closer together. If you up it once, it becomes stronger... but if you up it twice......  
  
Bowser: Well...  
  
Pipsy: It pulls you forward and the target racer backward.  
  
Bowser: Haha, I like it!  
  
Diddy: Those are our weapons.  
  
Mario: Upgraded weapons are no substitute for a cache of weapons.  
  
Timber: We race and race, not race and go to war like you guys do.  
  
Taj: Settle down everyone. Now that the arsenal advantage is even, Donkey Kong and I will choose all of the weapons. They will be of the weapons that you've shown and explained... at least some of them anyway. Others will be of the other team, but have traits from the presenting team. We'll meet here tomorrow for the weapons and to explain how the system will work. Diddy Kong Racers, head back to the island.  
  
DK: Mario Kart Racers, back to Peach's castle. But I want all sixteen of you to think of your rivals for the rest of Race Wars.  
  
Timber: But Donkey, there are twenty of us.  
  
DK: True, but Mario and Diddy are the captains of the teams. They are each others rival, so the rest of you have to think about who you're going to go up against. Likewise to Peach and Pipsy, they are the only girls and both of em' are fast. So that leaves the other sixteen racers.  
  
Diddy: Understood, but we'll let the "Home Team" leave first.  
  
Mario: You're our guests, we leave after you.  
  
Diddy: (spitefully) We insist...  
  
Mario: Fine, we'll leave first. Pilots fly away first, then Yoshi and the water racers. (nods to Yoshi) We will leave last.  
  
And that's how it worked. Baby Mario waved good bye as he led all of the planes to the castle. Once they were out of sight, Yoshi and the other hovercraft drivers left, but in reverse so they could watch their rivals as they left. Once they were out of sight, They turned around and headed for Peach's castle.  
  
Mario: Until tomorrow, Diddy...  
  
Diddy: Likewise Mario, likewise.  
[Mario and the other kart drivers left the same way as the hovercrafts drivers did. Once they were out of sight, Diddy motioned for his team to leave. Diddy was the last to leave since he watched his allies head back to Timber's Island]  
  
Diddy: See you later Taj. Good day Uncle Donkey. As Diddy drove off, Taj approached DK.  
  
Taj: This is going to be one hell of a contest my friend.  
  
DK: Uh huh... well, let's get started.  
MKR  
  
The team is at Peach's castle discussing how they will plan their strategy for Race Wars.  
  
Mario: I'll give Donkey Kong's nephew some credit, he seems confident about this contest.  
  
Peach: I agree with you, Mario.  
  
Mario: Thanks.  
  
Peach: You're welcome, but that's not what I meant. What I'm referring to was how they race. If they think that zipping around a course is racing, they're going to learn what racing is REALLY like... and they'll learn it the hard way.  
  
Bowser: It will be nice to have some fresh meat now and then. This is simply domination to me.  
  
Waluigi: Wario told me about what you saw and I don't buy any of that crap. Racing is more than hitting speed boosts and fun, it's about strategy. The only type of that is in their weapons.  
  
Mario: Why do you say that?  
  
Waluigi: They may have fewer weapons than we do, but sometimes weapons are useless if you can't use them.  
  
KT: Who are those guys trying to impress? Not me. I still say we have more balls than they do.  
  
Toad: Me too.  
  
Wario: So do I.  
  
KT: Diddy and his friends don't have the grapefruits that we do.  
  
Mario: That's where you're wrong, KT. They do have grapefruits, but we have watermelons. And big ones at that.  
  
Baby Mario: (staring at his crotch) I think my watermelons are a little small...  
  
Mario: Your watermelons are as big as any of ours are. Besides, big things come in small packages.  
  
Luigi: Hey Mario, Diddy's friend Timber seems just as edgy as Diddy is. Since we have to choose rivals, I'll take him on. Timber isn't that much of a match for me.  
  
Peach: Pipsy won't be too hard. I'll surely give her arsenic and lots of it.  
  
Toad: You know, since we have to choose rivals, all of us will have it easy, except for Baby Mario. They may downsize him.  
  
Baby Mario: Don't worry about me, I'm fast anyway. I may be the lightest of the ten of us, but don't mix cuddly with dangerous.  
  
Mario: Yoshi, you've been quiet about the subject matter.  
  
Luigi: Yeah, what's up?  
  
Yoshi: I was thinking about the ten missiles that they have.  
  
Bowser: You like that weapon don't you?  
  
Yoshi: True, but Pipsy forgot to mention something about them.  
  
Luigi: And what might that be?  
  
Yoshi: I remember Diddy and Donkey talking about them one day and they said something rather interesting. It was mentioned that when your rounds are low, you can pick up the Missile icon and the rounds refill.  
  
Bowser: Missiles that reload? I like it!  
  
Toad: So who are you going up against, Yoshi?  
  
Yoshi: I rather not say, for all we know our whole chat could be taped. So there's no telling what will happen.  
  
Toad: Yoshi's got a point. Let's keep this clean and fair, even if they do cheat.  
  
Baby Mario: Looks like I'm staying with you for the whole contest, Peach.  
  
Peach: Of course you are, Now let's forget about everything and test the new autos. Now everyone grab your hovers and meet at the Koopa Troopa Beach ASAP and think about who you want to go up against.  
DKR  
  
Timber: Diddy, what's up with that other guy?  
  
Diddy: Which one?  
  
Timber: The one dressed in green?  
  
Diddy: That's Mario's brother, Luigi.  
  
Timber: He doesn't look too fast.  
  
Pipsy: Looks can be deceiving.  
  
TT: Hey Tip Tup, you can race against the baby.  
  
Tip Tup: I don't wanna' race a baby. Why do I have to be insulted?  
  
Conker: Stop complaining, unless you're admitting the kid is faster than you are...  
  
Tip Tup: I'm not admitting anything! I'll race the baby to show you who's really faster. Boy this is so embarrassing.  
  
TT: Hey Drumstick, the two of us will be unstoppable no matter who we'll be facing.  
  
Drumstick: You said it. Diddy, you have at least two racers that are underdogs.  
  
Diddy: I believe it. You two are the fastest racers on the island and I don't believe you will lose either.  
  
Darion: And what am I, chopped liver?  
  
Diddy: Darion, I didn't hear you come in.  
  
Darion: Of course not. So could someone tell me what's going on here?  
  
Diddy: You know my Uncle Donkey, Darion. His friends have challenged us to a contest to see who are the real demons of the track.  
  
Darion: And I wasn't in on this?  
  
Pipsy: Of course you are honey, you're one of us.  
  
Darion: Well, in the event of the inevitable, I'll be a replacement racer.  
  
Conker: I don't know about you guys, but I smell victory and it smell like heaven.  
  
Darion: We have this in the bag.  
  
Diddy & Timber: Yeah!  
* Taj and DK are at the meeting place discussing the weapons.  
  
DK: Okay, let's get this straight. We have the following weapons: Missile; Homing Missile; 10-pak Missile; Bubble; Magnet; Super Magnet; Jetpak; Mega Jetpak; Shell. Don't you think something's missing here?  
  
Taj: No, what?  
  
DK: All of these weapons are from YOUR side!  
  
Taj: (sweatdrop) Well let's do some weapons on your side now. I was just telling you all the weapons from our side that we wanted to use. It's your turn now.  
  
DK: Yeah right. Let's just keep this clean, huh? I'm not going to let you screw off the racers of Mario Kart. Well, which weapons do you want from our side?  
  
Taj: I like the Boo and the Bomb Box. Ooh, the Thunder Bullet sounds nice too.  
  
DK: Okay. Since I like missiles, let's make some new ones. First, a Bouncy Missile, this will work like our Green Shells. Next, a Hyper Missile to resemble a Spiny Shell. We'll then add a Speed Shield to reincarnate our Super Star and change the Bomb Box so your Mine is in it, but is still does the same thing.  
MKR  
  
Team MKR was racing on their courses in all of their "autos" as Peach calls them. After they were done with the racing, the team headed back to Peach's castle. [Kootie Pie walks up to the castle. With a little fear, she walks inside, knowing all about the current situation. She decides to go and chat about everything and give her points and views.]  
  
KT: Yo, Koopa, look who's here.  
  
Mario Bros: Kootie Pie!?  
  
Baby Mario: What is she doing here?  
  
Yoshi: I don't care!  
  
Bowser: Why aren't you at home?  
  
Kootie Pie: Is my presence unwanted?  
  
Yoshi: YES!  
  
Bowser: Not yet. Now why are you here?  
  
Yoshi: You really don't know...  
  
Kootie Pie: I just wanted to give you my opinions.  
  
Yoshi: What's up?  
  
Kootie Pie: Well, it's just that I wanted to show my support.  
  
Toad: Liar! You came over here to see Yoshi. Admit it.  
  
Kootie Pie: That's not true. I'm a beautiful young lady and I don't deserve this kind of treatment.  
  
Yoshi: You're right. You deserve worse treatment than this. Then why are you really here?  
  
Kootie Pie: You guys will need some replacement racers.  
  
Mario: And what makes you so sure we'll need some replacement drivers?  
  
Kootie Pie: You might need some just in case of some unexpected turns. What if one of you gets hurt?  
  
Baby Mario: When or why would you care if one of us gets hurt?  
  
Kootie Pie: King Dad is important to me you know. Besides, didn't you have any thoughts that our rivals-  
  
Yoshi: OUR?  
  
Kootie Pie: Yes, OUR. Anyway, they're going to have substitute drivers, so why can't we have them?  
  
Peach: As much as you hate it Yoshi, she's right. The other team will have some subs, either to keep the best racers fresh or to throw us off guard is uncertain.  
  
Yoshi: Mario, it's your call.  
  
Mario: Kootie Pie makes a very good point. We'll have some substitute drivers, but we'll have them pass a speed run.  
  
Meanwhile, DK and Taj have finished making all of the weapons for Race Wars and are happy with the results.  
  
DK: It took a while, but we're all done.  
  
Taj: Yeah. And now you can't say that the weapons were all from one side either.  
  
DK: That's true, plus this was done in record timing. Now how sweet is that?  
  
Taj: Very. Now that the weapons are done, how will we do the contest?  
  
DK: Let's discuss that over lunch.  
  
Taj: I don't eat.  
  
DK: Don't be stubborn, Taj. Lunch is good for you, now let's go and eat.  
  
Taj: (sigh) If you say so...  
DKR  
  
In Spaceport Alpha, Team DKR was practicing their piloting skills. All of the racers were doing extremely well. After the practice run, the team gathered at the starting line. Diddy: Good job everyone, very good job. If this keeps up, we'll all be more than unstoppable.  
  
TT: How about a break Diddy, my gears are tired.  
  
Tip Tup: And I need to refuel.  
  
Timber & Pipsy: Yeah, me too.  
  
Conker: Same here.  
  
Diddy; Okay, okay, we can have a break... but after one more lap.  
  
all but Diddy: Ahh man!  
  
Diddy: Come on you guys. One more lap isn't going to kill ya'.  
So after the lap, the team went to have lunch. Everyone was happy to be eating the vicious spread of food, even TT and he's a stopwatch. But who can resist lobster, crab, smoked salmon and other aquatic foods?  
  
TT: this is some spread here and the food is great.  
  
Pipsy: Yeah, thanks Berri.  
  
Berri: No problem gang. I'm just glad I didn't mess up anything.  
  
Conker: Don't worry hon, we'll eat this happily.  
  
Darion: Yo Berri, when did you learn how to make crab cakes?  
  
Berri: Sorry X, but a master chef never gives away her secrets.  
  
Darion: At least not to me anyway... ha ha ha.  
  
Taj and DK were happily enjoying lunch.  
  
Taj: This isn't good Donkey Kong, but I like it.  
  
DK: I told you lunch is good for you.  
  
Taj: Yeah, you did.  
  
DK: Hey son, how are you holding up in there?  
  
DK Jr.: All good Pop, all good. I'm glad Candy gave me these cooking lessons.  
  
DK: I thought you said Dixie was giving you cooking lessons?  
  
DK Jr.: Oops. Oh well, I guess the truth is out huh? (snicker)  
  
Taj: Back to the contest, Kong. I was thinking about the battle system. What would you say to free-for-all?  
  
DK: No problem.  
  
Taj: What about head-to-head?  
  
DK: No problem.  
  
Taj: Two on two?  
  
DK: No problem.  
  
Taj: Three on one?  
  
DK: Problem.  
  
Taj: Now, now, hear me out. It doesn't sound that bad. Besides, a real master can take on more than one opponent at a time anyway... Unless of course you're doubting your friends.  
  
DK: I'm doubting no one. It just doesn't seem fair you know?  
  
Taj: Chicken! (clucking)  
  
DK: 'Ey, knock it off man.  
  
Taj: (clucking) Cock-a-doodle-doo!  
  
DK: Okay we can do the three on one, but don't get mad at me if it backfires on you.  
  
Taj: Don't worry, it won't. Now about the point system?  
  
DK: Got it covered.  
  
Taj: How?  
  
DK: You'll find out tomorrow.  
  
Taj: Oh c'mon man.  
  
DK: Who's chicken now?  
  
Taj: Okay, what about the courses?  
  
DK: Ten courses from each side. I've already picked the ten from our side, you have to pick the ten from your side. Plus, two of your battle arenas. I already chose one of them and I'm working on the other one now.  
  
Taj: Oh I know the two battle arenas we will have.  
  
DK: Good. Now I need you to make teleporters from The Mushroom Kingdom and Timber's Island and everything will be set.  
  
Taj: Well that means I'll modify the pad on the island and make one here in the kingdom. In fact, let's do this task now.  
*  
MKR  
  
Team MKR was already testing potential substitute racers for Race Wars. Everything was going according to plan for Mario, But Yoshi was disappointed. This was because Birdo and Kootie Pie both qualified and are sub drivers. Other people were racing too, such as Hop, Bully, Fuchsia and even Daisy. Everyone of them had good runs, but now it was time for the battle test.  
  
Yoshi: All right. Now it's time to show how long your survival instincts can help you. The Block Fort will be your battle arena. Use all of your tactics, instincts, shifting and knowledge of combat. Fuchsia, Kooky, PT, Hop, the four of you will be in the karts. Now, I want everyone to take their places. The four drivers took their places and put on their battle faces.  
  
PT: I expect to go on, but if it doesn't happen, I want to be one of the last two.  
  
Hop: Luckily for me, I watched every time King Dad battled here, likewise to Kooky. Koopalings will rule this round.  
  
Kooky: Hop you had better stay out of my way, or I'll blast ya' to kingdom come. Hmf, a genius like myself shouldn't have any problem with this.  
  
Fuchsia: If I can reach the top of one of these forts, I'll win this for sure.  
  
Yoshi: Battlers ready? Set... GO!  
  
[Hop, Kooky and PT decided to play chicken right at the start of the race. But Fuchsia turned around and decided to go to the top of the red fort since she was closer to getting to the top of it than the other fort.]  
  
Fuchsia: Those guys won't know what hit 'em, or what's going to hit 'em anyway. (chuckle)  
Fuchsia made it to the top of the red fort snagging three red ones on the way up. Once up there, she drove around the top blazing away. Meanwhile, Team MKR was watching this whole battle along with Jugem.  
  
Peach: (confused) What is your girlfriend doing Toad?  
  
Toad: Driving around the top of the forts.  
  
Jugem: Not a bad strategy...  
  
Yoshi: I agree.  
  
KT: Could someone tell me what's going on?  
  
Jugem: Sure. The vintage points are the top of the forts. Though, it seems foolish to do, it's actually an effective strategy.  
  
Yoshi: From the top of each fort, there are item boxes. If you get the right item, you can fire them and hit whoever is nearby.  
  
Jugem: The only downfall to this is getting the Bomb Box. If Fuchsia gets one of those, she will have to come down and cleverly place them.  
  
Toad: I get it. It's all vintage isn't it Jugem?  
  
Jugem: Yup. It's too bad it won't work on me.  
  
Luigi: You're in this too?  
  
Jugem: You thought I wasn't? Shame on you, Mario.  
  
Luigi: But I'm Luigi.  
  
Jugem: Last name, not first you dingus.  
  
Luigi: Oh, right. I knew that.  
  
Jugem & Toad: Yeah right.  
  
Bowser: It's the simple drop shot. Fuchsia's putting the drop on her competition.  
  
Kootie Pie: Just like she did on Hop. Bye lil' bro, he's out.  
  
Yoshi: Good try Hop, but you're cut.  
[Hop is teleported out of the arena]  
  
Fuchsia's plan was going well. She whittled down her adversaries so it was easier for her to win. Kooky and PT were about to play chicken again when PT saw Fuchsia driving around the top.  
  
PT: So that's what she was doing. Hey Kooky, Fuchsia's been blasting us from the top of the forts this whole time.  
  
Kooky: I was wondering where all of those shells came from.  
  
PT: And she still has all of her balloons. Since we both have one left, we might as well double team her.  
  
Kooky: I agree. Let's get her--Aaah!  
Fuchsia had dropped down on Kooky, taking his chances of winning out of the round and was staring down PT. Kooky was teleported out of the arena.  
  
Fuchsia: So much for your double team idea Paratroopa. Now it's just you and me.  
  
PT: I'll admit it "sister", that was a well-thought plan, but now it's time for you to lose.  
  
Fuchsia: I will lose Para, but not this round. Let's charge on three.  
  
PT: I like that. Okay... One...  
  
Fuchsia: Two...  
  
Fuchsia & PT: THREE!  
  
[Both rivals decided to run their karts at full speed. And at the last moment...]  
  
PT: Eat my shells, Fuchsia. Hee hee hee.  
  
Fuchsia: Hey Para?  
  
PT: What?  
  
Fuchsia: Suck on a star!  
  
At the last minute, Before PT could activate his three greens, Fuchsia hit her star and crashed right into him. [Fuchsia stopped to a screeching halt, knowing she had won the round. PT didn't need a teleporter to take him out of the arena, because the impact from Fuchsia Star-armored kart sent the winged Troopa flying out of the arena, kart and all. All who watched were in great awe.]  
  
Team MKR: Daaaaaammmnnn! {yes, this was said}  
In the battlefield, Fuchsia sits in her kart with a smile of victory on her face.  
  
Fuchsia: That was my very first chicken run and I won too. No wonder guys like this game, it's so much fun. Thanks a bunch Paratroopa, oh and no hard feelings when you land. Okay?  
  
DKR  
  
Diddy and his crew were done racing for the day, but the team was thinking about who they would go up against. All of the ten main racers pondered this long and hard.  
  
Timber: So, who are you going up against Banjo?  
  
Banjo: (shrug) I don't know. Maybe against that skinny fellow that wears purple.  
  
Bumper: I know who I'm going up against, but I won't tell you guys.  
  
TT: Why? You don't have anything to hide do you?  
  
Bumper: No.  
  
TT: Well than speak up. I want to test my luck against that mushroom guy.  
  
Diddy: You wanna' go head to head with Toad, TT?  
  
TT: That's his name huh? Sure, no problem.  
  
Bumper: I wanted to go up against that dinosaur... What was his name again? Oh right, his name is Yoshi. He doesn't seem so tough.  
  
Tip Tup: I wanted to face the other turtle, the one without the spiked shell. But no, I have to go up against a baby.  
  
Conker: You're whip, Tip Tup. I can't believe that you're afraid of a little baby.  
  
Pipsy: Boy, you are a chicken.  
  
Tip Tup: Then why don't you go up against the baby?  
  
Conker: Because I'm going up against Wario. Besides, the baby wouldn't even be a match for me.  
  
Pipsy: And I have to go up against that princess.  
  
Tip Tup: Fine, I'll race the baby... (low tones) but I won't like it.  
  
Pipsy: None of us like it, Tip Tup. No one likes to be insulted, but since Mario insulted us, with have to avenge our racing honor as well as our pride.  
  
Darion: Spoken like a true racer, Pip.  
  
Pipsy: (^_^) Thanks honey.  
  
Timber: (U_U) Okay people, back to the task at hand.  
  
Krunch: The cub's right. Now since I'm the heaviest, I'll take on the spiked turtle. I bet we're both the same weight.  
(Taj suddenly appeared in front of them all)  
  
Taj: I'm glad to see that you're putting some good thought into all of this, but I'm sure that you're all tired, so let's have some chow.  
  
Krunch: You read my mind Taj, I'm hungry.  
  
Kazooie: Me too.  
(Kazooie popped out of Banjo's backpack)  
  
Banjo: Kazooie, you were supposed to be with Bottles.  
  
Kazooie: Bogeyes is subdued at the moment. Now let's get some grub.  
  
Banjo: (!^_^) You guys never get along.  
*  
  
Finally, after eating, planning strategies, getting sub racers and lots of practice, both sides settled in for the night. Knowing from the next day forward, the battle was on. The next day, Both teams assembled at the meeting place on time and across from each other.  
  
DK: Okay people, today's the day you've all been waiting for: Battle Day. Before we begin, team captains step forward. (Mario and Diddy faced DK and Taj) Now, you and your nine allies will be battling it out in our racing and battling competition. You must lead your team to victory, but within all of the rules of Race Wars. Understand?  
  
Diddy & Mario: Right.  
  
Taj: the two of you are responsible for not only your actions, but also the actions of your allies. Understood?  
  
Diddy & Mario: Right.  
  
DK: The will be a clean contest, sabotage is not an option. Now for the weapons. Taj and I have selected the following weapons for the contest and no they don't upgrade: This is the item box which randomly goes through a roulette of all of the items. As you can clearly see, the initials RW spins around the middle of it. (Turns the box upside down) This is the Bomb Box.  
(Taj made a holo imager for the other racers can see) DK: This is the Bouncy Missile. It can be fired forward and backward and it bounces off of walls. This is a Missile of course, but now can be fired backward for the DKR team. This is a Homing Missile, we know how this works. This is the 10-pak Missile, self-explanatory.  
  
Yoshi: I like it.  
  
DK: Yeah. This is the Hyper Missile, it goes after first place. This is the Shield, we all know what this does. This is the Speed Shield, again, we know what this does. This is the feather, it makes karts and hovercrafts jump higher than normal. It also makes planes do barrel rolls, which can be used as a deflector for certain attacks. This is the Jet Boost, we know what this does. This is the Super Boost, a more powerful Jet Boost.  
  
Timber: Duh!  
  
Pipsy: Timber?  
  
DK: Yeah. This is the Time Boost, again, self explanatory. This is a Slick, it spins you out. This is a Slickpak, five slicks in one.  
  
Toad: The Banana Bunch oiled down...  
  
DK: This is a Danger Bubble, they lift you in the air then pop after a few moments. Pretty they are not Baby Mario.  
  
Baby Mario: Ha ha, it is to laugh.  
  
DK: This is the Magnet, it can pull you toward the nearest racer and may give you a little boost of speed if used effectively. If the target goes around a small wall, you will be pulled over it. This is the Minus Magnet, the magnet but of the opposite end. Same as Magnet, but the pull is reversed and sends the target behind the user. This is the Stealth Steal, it makes you invisible and gives you a random racer's weapon. Finally, there's the Thunder Bullet. It shrinks the other racers and slows them down, making them easy roadkill for a limited time. Only the Stealth Steal and Shield can counter it. So if you use the Speed Shield, you will be shrunken, but you won't slow down.  
  
Bumper & Yoshi: That sucks!  
  
(everyone turned to look at the two of them)  
  
Bumper & Yoshi: What?  
  
Mario: So that's who you're going up against...  
  
Yoshi: (!U_U) Let's move on already.  
  
DK: Anyway, on to the point system. This Flag with the initials of the event will be how we determine points here. Whoever get the most flags for the time being wins.  
  
Diddy & Mario: What does that mean?  
  
DK: I wasn't done yet. If there is a tie at the end of the competition, We will go into "Flag Capture" mode. In this mode, which should really happen since both sides don't want to lose, the losing team gets to bet how many flags will be up for grabs. The losing team of that round has to submit all the flags that were bet to the winning team and has the next pick and the next challenge. And the winning team bets how many flags. The first round will be picked at random.  
  
Taj: There are twenty courses and four arenas. They have ben split in half by each team's side. Points will be won by one of the following types of events: Head to head, two on two, three on one...  
  
Diddy & Mario: Three on one?  
  
Taj: Yes, three on one and free-for-all. The following areas are from the DKR side: Fossil Canyon, Hot Top Volcano, Pirate Lagoon, Crescent Island, Everfrost Peak, Frosty Village, Boulder Canyon, Windmill Planes, Darkmoon Caverns, Spaceport Alpha, Fire Mountain and Darkwater Beach.  
  
Peach: Question. What's the difference between Fossil and Boulder Canyon?  
  
Pipsy: Fossil Canyon is open to all vehicles, while Boulder Canyon is hovercraft only.  
  
DK: The following areas are from the MKR side: Moo Moo Farm, Koopa Troopa Beach, Donut Plains, Sherbert Land, Toad's Turnpike, Yoshi Valley, Royal Raceway, Bowser's Castle, Vanilla Lake, Rainbow Road, Block Fort and Skyscraper.  
  
Yoshi: Good luck on my course you guys, cause you're gonna need it if you don't want to get lost.  
  
Diddy: I've raced your track before and know the way. We don't want, let alone need, any of your luck.  
  
Taj: Now it's time to choose your opponents for the remainder of Race Wars. Ladies, Yoshi and Bumper, it's time to shake hands and mean it!  
  
So Mario and Diddy locked eyes as well as hands, likewise to Peach and Pipsy, and to Yoshi and Bumper. Tip Tup walked over to Baby Mario.  
  
Tip Tup: Come on "friend", let's duel.  
  
Baby Mario: Okay "pal", but don't hold back because I'm young.  
  
Tip Tup: Don't worry about that.  
  
TT: Give me everything you got, mushroom boy.  
  
Toad: The name is Toad, you walking clock.  
  
TT: My name is TT and I'm a stopwatch.  
  
Krunch: Come on big guy, let's rumble.  
  
Bowser: Ready when your are, "son".  
  
Banjo: I'm Banjo and this here's Kazooie.  
  
Kazooie: Hello.  
  
Waluigi: Waluigi. Welcome to hell, both of ya'.  
  
Conker: I'm Conker.  
  
Wario: I'm Wario, I'm gonna' win.  
  
Conker: we'll see about that.  
  
KT: You may call me master, or KT. Whatever one of the two suits you.  
  
Drumstick: You'll be called "loser" when I'm done with you.  
  
KT: Whatever you dipstick.  
  
Drumstick: That's Drumstick, KT.  
  
Timber: Timber.  
  
Luigi: Luigi.  
  
Timber: It will be a pleasure feeding you my dust.  
  
Luigi: Once again, you took the words right out of my mouth.  
  
Timber: I'm known for doing that.  
  
Luigi: Race flawlessly, because your first mistake will be you final mistake. I know I will.  
  
Timber: Just try and stop me.  
  
Luigi: Likewise.  
  
Pipsy: I may be racing on your track, but don't let the home field advantage be your downfall.  
  
Peach: It won't. Now we'll see who's really the faster woman.  
  
Pipsy: Yes. We will.  
  
Diddy: Are you ready to stomach your words?  
  
Mario: If you are, than so am I.  
  
DK: This is going to a match remembered for the ages.  
  
Taj: Yes, yes it is.  
  
DK: And now racers, without further ado...  
  
Taj: It's time for the other million dollar line.  
  
DK & Taj: Let the Race Wars! Begin!!  
To be continued..... 


	3. the first battles and the flag

RACE WARS  
PART 2  
RIVALS & COURSES  
  
It was a nice day on Timber's Island and all the DKR team racers were planning strategies on how to seal victory. But Toad was thinking otherwise. He had used the teleporting pad to get here in his cart and went to the Dino Domain without telling his teammates, but he didn't know that a not-so-fellow racer was watching him like a hawk. [Toad was driving around the lobby, looking at the many places he could go. He went into the Trophy Room and stared at the gold trophy.]  
  
Toad: It looks just like Taj. Bah, it's probably plated gold. Let's see what else I can find.  
Toad left the trophy room and headed to the door that lead to Tricky's course.  
  
Toad: I wonder what's behind that door...  
Toad shrugged it off and looked around the lobby some more. He had already seen the two race course doors and headed to the double doors with the giant keyhole in them, which led to Fire Mountain.  
  
Toad: Hmmm...  
  
Darion: Find your way around without getting lost?  
  
Toad: (turns around) Yeah, I'm fine.  
  
Darion: You must be Toad. Diddy and TT have told me about you.  
  
Toad: And you are?  
  
Darion: You may call me Racer X, one of the sub racers for the DKR Team.  
  
Toad: Where's Speed Racer at?  
  
Darion: (/_\) Very Funny.  
  
Toad: So where does these doors lead to?  
  
Darion: Fire Mountain.  
  
Toad: One of your battle arenas...  
  
Darion: Wrong. This is one of our contest arenas.  
  
Toad: Contest arenas?  
  
Darion: But of course. You see, we have two contest and two battle arenas. Darkwater Beach is one of the Battle arenas. Fire Mountain here and Smokey Castle in the Dragon Forest are the contest arenas.  
  
Toad: I see.  
  
Darion: Let me show you around.  
So Darion showed Toad where he needed to go.  
  
Darion: This is the mainland as you should know. Every place here is connected to this main area. You see that opening over there with the snow on it?  
  
Toad: Yeah I see it.  
  
Darion: That way leads to Snowflake Mountain. Out this way is to two other parts of the courses.  
  
Toad: What's with the launch pad?  
  
Darion: It teleports you to Future Fun Land. And the Sherbert Island is out in the sea over yonder. Of the ten race courses, two are from each part of the island, each with a way to two of the courses you need to get to. As you know, we left the Dino Domain. Well, that's the tour.  
  
Toad: Thanks, but why are you helping me?  
  
Darion: I didn't help you, I just injected poison into your brain by saying where to go. B'sides, I like you, and would love to beat you in a race. Well, have fun here Toad. See ya.  
MKR  
  
Meanwhile, everyone was looking for Toad.  
  
Peach: Luigi, have you seen Toad?  
  
Luigi: Nope, I haven't seen him anywhere.  
  
Yoshi: You guys are looking for Toad too?  
  
Luigi: I haven't seen him, have you?  
  
Yoshi: Uh uh.  
Fuchsia walks trough the doors.  
  
Fuchsia: Have you seen Toad, I can't find him anywhere?  
  
Peach: You too huh? This is starting to get worrisome.  
  
Fuchsia: Do you think he went to the other side?  
  
Yoshi: If he did, he had better not be alone.  
  
Fuchsia: If he did, I'm going to be so angry at him.  
  
Yoshi: Why? You shouldn't be if he went with KT or someone else.  
  
Fuchsia: I don't care who he's with or without. I'm supposed to be with him.  
  
Yoshi: Get a grip Fuchsia.  
  
Fuchsia: I'm the one who he's supposed to take to the other side. Me! Not you, not Peach, no KT, not anyone else on the team, meee!  
  
Baby Mario: (\_/) Quit the screamin' down there, I'm trying to sleep!!!  
  
Fuchsia: (!-_-) Sorry. Okay, let's get Mario and head to the other side.  
  
Peach & Yoshi: I agree.  
DKR  
  
Toad was ready for his test run on the Fossil Canyon course. However... TT had other plans and drove up on his right.  
  
Toad: What do you want?  
  
TT: Forget that I'm your enemy for the rest of the contest already? Shame on you, Toad.  
  
Toad: I didn't forget.  
  
TT: Good. Now, are you ready to race?  
  
Toad: I'm not in the mood.  
  
TT: Let's get one thing straight Toad, I'm the keeper of all of the island's tracks. I can challenge anyone on any track at anytime, friend, foe and otherwise.  
  
Toad: Whatever.  
  
TT: I warn you that I'm so fast, I'm in the next time zone.  
  
Toad: Is that so?  
  
TT: Yes. So if you're not chicken anymore, let's race.  
  
Toad: Fine. Let's go on three.  
  
TT: Okay, One...  
  
Toad: Two...  
  
Toad & TT: Three!  
  
And off they went. It seemed that TT would actually win this race, but Toad wasn't an easy customer. The first lap was simple for TT, but Toad struggled. On the second lap, things were going well.  
  
Toad: This is going well. I may just have a chance at taking the win.  
  
TT: Come on Toad, I know you aren't this slow. Are you afraid of me?  
  
Toad: I'm not afraid of anyone when I'm racing!  
  
TT: You sure seem like it, (^_^) but you don't have to be scared. Nothing is on the line... yet.  
  
Toad: I'll show you!  
  
TT: Well you better do it soon, we're coming on the final lap.  
The final lap came and Toad was still trailing, but not as much as he was the previous lap.  
  
Toad: Okay, it's time for some Mushroom Justice!  
  
Toad kicked it in gear and managed to tie with TT in a time of 2:25:48.  
  
Mario, Luigi, Peach and Fuchsia were at the finish line waiting for him.  
  
TT: Not bad for a mushroom.  
  
Toad: Ditto, TT. Next time zone huh? Yeah right.  
  
TT: Hello Mario, Luigi, Peach... Um, I didn't quite-  
  
Fuchsia: I'm Fuchsia.  
  
TT: ...You must be the one Toad's courting. Well, just to let you know, that I'm the guardian of the tracks. I can and will challenge anyone who races on them whenever I please.  
  
Luigi: And what if we're practicing?  
  
TT: No excuses, Mario. (driving off) Just be ready to race when I show up. G'day.  
  
Once TT was out of sight, he got out of his kart and watched his adversaries. TT: Hmmf, you really are a slow racer for someone who likes to talk. It doesn't really matter because I was simply playing with you. I'm much faster than I was when I raced you just a few moments ago. And to think you really put your soul into this race, a race that I can destroy you on, you have no idea how fast I really am.  
  
Mario: Are you okay?  
  
Toad: I'm fine.  
  
Fuchsia: No you're not, you're in trouble!  
  
Toad: What's your problem?  
  
Fuchsia: You were supposed to bring me here, but you didn't bring me here! Do you know how this makes me feel? Angry!  
  
Toad: I'll make it up to you later, okay?  
  
Fuchsia: You better.  
  
Mario: Why did you come here alone?  
  
Toad: I wanted to get a feeling for what's to come. It's not out of spite or anything, just to catch a glimpse of what has to be done when it becomes crunch time.  
  
Peach: Why didn't you tell anyone that you were going to do this?  
  
Toad: I didn't want any of you to be mad at me.  
  
Peach: You know that there's no "I" in team Toad, so don't give us any of those excuses.  
  
Luigi: You're not going to the other team, are you?  
  
Toad: Of course not! How could you think of me doing such a thing?  
  
Mario: We were just asking, that's all. Look, I don't blame you for doing this Toad, but next time let someone know when you do this.  
  
Fuchsia: I agree. This way, we know what your motives are.  
  
Toad eyed Fuchsia oddly. After that, the four left the course.  
  
TT: Hmmm, I may have to keep a close eye on this one, but only because I sense a rebel in him.  
Out in the lobby, Yoshi was waiting for the quartet.  
  
Yoshi: Is everything okay you guys?  
  
Mario: Yeah, everything's fine.  
  
Yoshi: So how fast is he?  
  
Toad: Who?  
  
Yoshi: Your rival?  
  
Toad: I got lucky.  
  
Luigi: But you tied the race...  
  
Toad: True, but just barely. He's faster than I thought he was, maybe even faster than you.  
  
Mario: Bah, I'll be the judge of that notion.  
  
Fuchsia: At least you're unharmed.  
  
Darion: Listen to yourself "sister", us harm him? Such fools you are. Do you really think we would waste our time beating you up?  
  
Toad: Maybe X, but how do I know that you won't later?  
  
Darion: Because you aren't licked now. Listen, we're racers not bullies. If we want to destroy you, it will happen in Darkwater Beach.  
  
Mario: Listen you, don't come starting any trouble. We just came to pick up our teammate and now we're leaving.  
  
Darion: You must be the leader of my rival side. Well you may want to leave, but Toad doesn't want to go. Am I right, friend?  
  
Toad: I'm not your friend.  
  
Darion: You forget the old saying, "My enemy is also my friend.", or have you not heard it?  
  
Yoshi: Toad what's with this guy?  
  
Darion: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Racer X, a born-to-run racer and next of kin in the Alpharacers. I'm one of the sub racers for Team DKR.  
  
Yoshi: So where's Speed Racer?  
  
Darion: Very funny Yoshi, very funny indeed. Well it's time to leave, but remember this... A racer is only as good as his tales of racing. (walking away U_U) We will meet again fellow Mario Kart Racers.  
  
As Darion walked away, the five members of MKR headed to the teleporter to the other side.  
  
Mario: Come on Toad, it seems like we aren't wanted here.  
  
Toad: I don't think that way.  
  
Peach: Just come on you guys, we'll all deal with this at my castle.  
[Peach and Fuchsia walked into the portal heading to the other side as the Marios followed. Yoshi was about to go next, but he saw Toad's reluctance to head back to the other side in his kart.]  
  
Yoshi: You okay?  
  
Toad: I'm fine.  
  
Yoshi: You never really told me how fast TT is.  
  
Toad: I don't think I'll be able to win against him.  
  
Yoshi: Having doubts huh? Don't worry about it man, I have a few doubts about these courses too. This isn't elementary like the ones back in the kingdom, but we have to adapt. But on the other hand, our rivals will have to adapt to the courses in the kingdom.  
  
Toad: Yoshi this is serious, I know that he was just playing in that race I had against him and I barely tied when he was just playing with me. How am I going to face him at full strength when I struggle to keep up with TT at half of his normal speed?  
  
Yoshi: You'll find a way to do it, you always do.  
  
Toad: (/_o) Uh, thanks.  
  
Yoshi: Listen, if you decide to come back here, let me know about it, if not anyone else. Okay?  
  
Toad: But what if it's late at night?  
  
Yoshi: It doesn't matter.  
  
Toad: Fine.  
  
Yoshi: Good, now let's go.  
Toad and Yoshi went to their side at the same time.  
  
*  
MKR  
  
At Peach's castle, the team was discussing how they would do each of the courses.  
  
Bowser: Okay, before each of the races, we'll be able to choose which vehicle to drive, right?  
  
Mario: That's right.  
  
Bowser: Well I say let's use the other two on our courses since we always drive in our karts. This way, those rookies will know that when we met before the games that our appearance wasn't a fluke.  
  
Luigi: Not a bad strategy. You know for a megalomaniac, you have some good ideas.  
  
Bowser: (*-_-) I'll just take that as a compliment.  
  
Mario: I wonder what's with that Racer X guy, doesn't he seem weird to you?  
  
Peach: Egotistical, but not weird.  
  
Toad: I wonder what TT meant by saying he will "Challenge us at anytime and anywhere..." Hmm... I wonder where we will race first.  
  
Luigi: What do you mean, Toad?  
  
Toad: I mean, which side are we going to be on for the first race?  
Suddenly, the doors were kicked in and Pipsy walked in all tied up with her captive Kootie Pie following. Kootie Pie pushed the tied Pipsy to the floor.  
  
Kootie Pie: I found this one on the Royal Raceway. I don't know if she's alone or not, but I'll keep looking.  
  
Pipsy: Is this any way to treat your guests?  
  
Yoshi: You'll have to excuse Kootie Pie's nature right now, Pipsy. Turtles do crazy things when they're horny.  
  
Bowser, KT & Kootie Pie: We do not!  
  
Yoshi: Well, the girls do anyway.  
  
Kootie Pie: I do not.  
  
Yoshi: Denial is a chronic symptom. It's okay, you can get help.  
  
Toad: (U_U) What-ever. So what are you doing here anyway?  
  
Pipsy: Practicing.  
  
Yoshi: (unties Pipsy) Just like Toad was doing.  
  
Toad: What's with racer X anyway.  
  
Pipsy: Oh, so you really did meet my honey? That's nice.  
  
Mario: So what's his story?  
  
Pipsy: His family was born in the racing circuit, all twenty-three generations. He's the twenty-fourth genre of his family line, the Alpharacers. What else do you want to know?  
  
Toad: How fast he is...  
  
Pipsy: Too fast. I can barely trail him, let alone catch him.  
  
Yoshi: Interesting, very interesting. Okay, you're free.  
Pipsy stood up and brushed herself off.  
  
Peach: My floor isn't dirty.  
  
Pipsy: True, but I feel this way. I've never been so insulted in my life. If we ever race against each other Kootie Pie, all bets are off.  
  
Kootie Pie: (yawn) Care to prove that on the Royal Raceway?  
  
Pipsy: Yes I do. Let's go.  
  
So Pipsy and Kootie Pie agreed to race each other on Peach's course, the Royal Raceway. Team MKR was watching the race in the viewer's box.  
  
Peach: Bowser, do you think that your daughter can win?  
  
Bowser: I don't know, but this was smart on her half.  
  
Peach: Why do you say that?  
  
Bowser: Because we get to see first hand how fast this yellow vermin is.  
  
Peach: True. Okay Pipsy and Kootie Pie, show me what you're made of.  
  
Yoshi: I hope Pipsy wins.  
(everyone looks at Yoshi) Yoshi: I didn't stutter. I really said it and meant every last word that was said too.  
  
On the track, the two girls were raring to go.  
  
Jugem: Okay ladies, this is a traditional three lap race. The RW item boxes are out in their respected places. This is a free race with nothing at steak here, but pride. Are you ready?  
  
Kootie Pie & Pipsy: (staring at each other) Yes.  
  
Jugem: Good, then go on the green light.  
Jugem held the light and as soon as the green light went off, both girls hit the rocket start. The match was a push across the first turn, but was starting to change once the girls hit the item boxes. Kootie Pie got a Shield, but Pipsy got a Speed Shield. Before the second turn, Kootie Pie used her weapon in an attempt to bump Pipsy into the water. Pipsy saw thing coming and made way. Once, she made around the second turn, Pipsy used her weapon. The race was back to even.  
  
Pipsy: You didn't win this race yet.  
  
Kootie Pie: Of course not, but there goes the lap.  
  
On the next two turns, the shift of first place kept going on and on. When the next turn and set of weapons came up, things were starting to change. The two young ladies were coming up to the first dash zone. Kootie Pie used her Super Boost to take the lead. Pipsy was hoping for this to happen, since she had a Slickpak. Moving in a diagonal line she used her weapon so that you were to slip on it no matter where you run. She then hit the jump dash zone and landed a little rocky.  
  
Pipsy: Note to self: Land with ease.  
  
Pipsy caught up to Kootie Pie and was a couple of seconds behind her at the end of the first lap.  
  
Mario: This race is kind of close Peach. Maybe you'll have a run for your money after all.  
  
Peach: Maybe, but what is she going to do when the jump comes up?  
  
Yoshi: Let Kootie Pie take the slip?  
  
Toad: Nah, I smell a trick.  
  
KT: Me too.  
  
Suddenly, there was a knocking at the door. Toad went to open the door and who was behind it?  
  
Darion: Catch you at a bad time?  
  
Luigi, Mario, Peach & Toad: Racer X.  
  
Darion: You were expecting Dale Earnheart Sr.?  
  
Mario: No, Jeff Gordon.  
  
Darion: Fine, but let's just watch the race huh?  
  
Luigi: Fine, but you have to leave.  
  
Darion: Okay, see ya'.  
(Darion took his leave as Toad closed the door behind him) Meanwhile, the girls were heading for the jump.  
  
Pipsy: Hey Kootie Pie, it's time for you to feel my wrath.  
  
Kootie Pie: Whatever.  
  
Pipsy: Here, have a drink on me.  
  
Kootie Pie: Huh? What does that mean?  
  
What it meant was how Pipsy's trap would work. She managed to pick up a Feather and used it to jump over her trap which Kootie Pie didn't see until it was too late. The turtle spun out and landed in the water, while the mouse made it safely across the jump. Jugem pulled Kootie Pie out of the water quickly and set her down in record timing, but that proved a waste of time since Kootie Pie repeated the process. Eventually, Kootie Pie lost the race. Yoshi walked over and gave Kootie Pie a pat on her shell.  
  
Yoshi: Don't feel bad about the race Kootie Pie, I'm really happy about what happened. You gave it all you had.  
  
Kootie Pie: You really are happy about how I did?  
  
Yoshi: Of course. I'm happy that you lost and Pipsy won! But you gave it a good effort, so don't feel bad.  
  
Kootie Pie: How could you take her side on this race instead of mine?! What are you, crazy?! I'm on the MKR side, not her!  
  
Toad and Bowser watched Kootie Pie yell Yoshi's head off with sweatdrops.  
  
Toad: (!U_U) Boy do they make a cute couple....  
  
Bowser: (!-_-) Yeah, real cute...  
  
Darion: Very nice racing trap you made at the jump, Pip.  
  
Pipsy: Thanks honey.  
  
Peach: I'll admit it, that was very clever. You even would have beaten me with that trap. But that's what Kootie Pie gets for roping you like a chicken.  
  
Pipsy: Thanks Peach, but I don't need your praises.  
  
Peach: Just because we're rivals doesn't mean that we can't be friends.  
  
Pipsy: You should've thought of that before you insulted us. Now you know what I can do on this course, but when we race head up... (turns away) it will be a whole new ballpark. Let's go hon, our time here today is over.  
  
Darion: Bye MKR racers. And rest up good, because tomorrow is a racing day.  
  
Pipsy and Darion walked to their karts and drove away once they approached them. Peach watched them sadly drive out of sight, then Luigi places his hand on her shoulder.  
  
Luigi: Like I said, a real run for your money Peach.  
*  
  
That night, Peach walked out to the castle courtyard and looked at the stars. Staring at Cygnus, she gave a sigh. Whether it was from looking at the swan in the sky or otherwise was uncertain.  
  
Luigi: Whatcha' doing Peach?  
  
Peach: (turns around) Oh, Luigi. I didn't hear you come out here.  
  
Luigi: That's the point.  
[the couple stare at Ursa Minor and Orion]  
  
Luigi: Is something on your mind?  
  
Peach: A lot is on my mind, Luigi. Sometimes, I think that there's too much in it.  
  
Luigi: Is "you know what" on it too?  
  
Peach: Yes Luigi. (sigh) I thought you said there was no pressure about the ring...  
  
Luigi: (slyly) That's not what I meant, but at least that is also on your mind.  
  
Peach: Then what did you mean?  
  
Luigi: I was referring to that race between Kootie Pie and Pipsy earlier tonight?  
  
Peach: That too. Luigi, maybe we were wrong about their way of racing.  
  
Luigi: Scared I see?  
  
Peach: No, not really, but I do think that our ways of racing are similar. If we had zippers like they do, do you think it would matter?  
  
Luigi: It would probably be tiresome with all of the zippers that they have. We have zippers too, but we depend more on our racing skills than a speed pad. Don't you think so?  
  
Peach: True.  
  
Luigi: Now the zips that we have are usually near a jump, or used for a jump. Now, how can they not think that we have bigger melons then they do?  
  
Peach: I can't answer that.  
  
Luigi: I mean, you have big melons like I do. [bg music is cut here] (Peach snaps her head around to eye Luigi oddly) Er, your melons aren't in the same place as mine are, but you get my drift. Right?  
  
Peach: (shakes her head and heads for the door) I get it Luigi. I'm going to sleep now, have a good night.  
DKR  
  
The next day, the two teams went at it in Hot Top Volcano. The twenty contestants were raring to go.  
  
DK: Okay everybody, now it's time to tell you how the events will take place. So listen carefully, because I'm only saying this part once. The Race Wars system will be in two events; the first is the Odds Event. This event, which is an Odds event will be at any of the areas we agreed about the other day. How you act in this and in future Odds events will determine the next event, which is the Flag Event. You're all aware of the odds on the racing events, so I know you can deal with it. Anyway, this Odds event is free-for-all and all teams never matter in free-for-alls. I'm stretching these because I want to see you mess up friends and foes alike. Any teamwork will change the odds in the other side's favor. Every event like this, Odds events I mean, racers will be drawn from both sides.  
  
Timber: Get to the point already, we don't have all day.  
  
Baby Mario: Shut up, I'm trying to learn here.  
  
DK: Ahem, as I was saying, the racers will be equally divided from both sides and they will be at random.  
  
Timber: Get to the point!  
  
DK: Shut up Timber. If I keep getting interrupted, I won't be able to finish and we'll be here forever.  
  
Timber: Fine, but hurry up. I wanna' race.  
  
DK: Nothing is at stake in Odds, but Flag events are different. Rivals will square off for flags. If there is a draw, both sides get a flag for the moment. Now Taj will pick the racers for the first Odds event.  
  
Taj: This race is three laps long and will consist of the following four racers from the two sides:  
[Taj spun the roulette wheels and DK placed four balls in each one. There were no tricks and the players were chosen.]  
  
Taj: Okay, from MKR; Yoshi, Waluigi, Bowser and KT. And from DKR; Timber, Banjo, TT and Tip Tup. Racers, take wing and head to the line.  
  
[The eight racers got into their planes and went to the starting line. The racers were lined up horizontally like so from left to right: Tip Tup, KT, Banjo and Bowser were in the front row; Waluigi, TT, Yoshi and Timber were in the back row]  
  
Yoshi: You know what guys?  
  
Bowser, KT & Waluigi: What?  
  
Yoshi: I like how these guys line up.  
  
TT: Wait 'til you see us race.  
  
KT: Good luck everyone.  
  
Timber: Yeah, You'll need it.  
  
DK & Taj: Racers ready? GO!  
  
And off everyone went. The first set of item boxes were on the first turn. TT got a Shield, Bowser a Danger Bubble, KT a Time Boost and Timber a Hyper Missile. On the second turn, Yoshi took the right fork and picked up a Thunder Bullet and caught the shortcut on the next turn.  
  
Yoshi: This will come in handy later. On the rise in front of the zipper, Tip Tup Got a Homing Missile and shot Yoshi, who was in pole position. His plane licked the lave and he dropped to third, but he was okay.  
  
TT: I hope Toad is watching my dominance on this course. Hearing the Hyper Missile, TT used his weapon. But before it hit him, KT passed him using his weapon and the missile hit the speedy turtle instead, making him eat dirt just before he finished his first lap.  
  
KT: I forgot about those things.  
  
Bowser took pole and headed for the next lap. Yoshi zoomed by as KT recovered, and took fourth since TT was pursuing Yoshi. Once TT's Shield wore off, Yoshi struck lightning and took back pole from Bowser, who was smashed.  
  
Bowser: I'll get you for that, dino.  
  
Yoshi stayed in first going into the final lap. When it seemed like he was going to win, TT swooped up from behind and took pole. But no sooner from losing pole, Yoshi picked up a 10pak and wailed away at the stopwatch. The missiles hit him, but too bad they knocked him over the line. Yoshi swore under his breath as he took second and KT came in after him. In the watching area, Diddy proudly grinned as hit teammate took first.  
  
Diddy: We're off to a good start already.  
  
Mario: You're just saying that because Yoshi knocked him over the line.  
  
Diddy: A win's a win in racing.  
TT came out and gave a high five to Diddy.  
  
TT: DKR strikes first.  
  
Toad & Yoshi: Ah, you just got lucky.  
  
TT: Luck had nothing to do with your flaw, Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi: (!U_U) Yeah, whatever.  
  
Pipsy: Nice going TT, that's a big step for us.  
  
TT: Aw shucks, it was nothing.  
  
Peach: (mocking) Aw shucks, it was nothing. Be serious, Yoshi had that race won.  
  
Pipsy: If he had it won, how come he didn't finish first?  
  
Peach: Because TT was shot over the line.  
  
Pipsy: (U_U) Don't get mad because TT stole the victory over Yoshi, princess.  
  
Peach: I know this much, you won't steal a victory over me like that.  
  
TT: Quit crying. Besides, it wasn't worth anything, so stop acting like sore losers. Especially when you didn't get a chance to lose.  
  
Toad: Hey bub, watch your tongue!  
  
TT: Quiet mushroom, this doesn't have to deal with you.  
  
Taj: That's where you're wrong.  
  
Pipsy & TT: Huh?  
  
Taj: It has to deal with all four of you. Now, since you four can't wait to get at each others throats, you all will compete in the Darkwater Beach Flag Event in ten minutes.  
  
Peach, Pipsy, Toad & TT: Fine with me.  
  
Taj: Good, then grab your 'crafts and see you in ten.  
  
Seven minutes later at Darkwater Beach...  
  
Toad: Well Peach, it's time to see how well our rivals can battle us.  
  
Peach: You said it. Toad, let's not battle in anger. Because if we do, then none of us will take the flag home for our side.  
  
Toad: You're right.  
[Suddenly, a barrage of missiles headed their way. Peach and Toad got out of the way and found out who was firing at them.]  
  
Peach & Toad: What the hell are you doing?!  
  
TT: Did you forget what I said the other day to you in the Dino Domain lobby? Shame on you.  
  
Toad: I didn't forget.  
  
Peach: Me neither.  
  
TT: Good, then let's go.. right now.  
  
Taj: (appearing in front of them) Really, you cant wait two more minutes? Okay, then I want all of you to form an "X" and rivals back to back.  
  
Toad: Fine, but have them unload first. They shot at us.  
  
Taj used his magic to see how many missiles Pipsy and TT had. Each of them had six left. The contestants faced back to back as they were told by Taj.  
  
Taj: Unload you two.  
[As the mouse and the stopwatch unloaded, Taj checked Toad and Peach, who were clean.] After the unloading, Taj continued.  
  
Taj: Now everyone travel in one direction and don't turn around.  
  
All four battlers did so and saw that everyone was near a single item box.  
  
Taj: All right. This is a two on two Flag battle between Peach and Toad of MKR, and Pipsy and TT of DKR. The rules are simple, the last team or member of a team will take the flag home to their side. Ladies, are you ready?  
  
Peach & Pipsy: Yes!  
  
Taj: Fellas', same question?  
  
TT: Ready when you are.  
  
Toad: Hold on, let me take a piss first.  
  
Taj: Erp.  
(Peach shook her head. After Toad was done relieving himself, he sat back in is 'craft)  
  
Taj: Are you ready now guys?  
  
Toad: Good to go.  
  
TT: Now I have to piss.  
  
Pipsy: TT you're a watch, you can't piss!  
  
TT: Wanna' bet? I'll show you my urine sample when I'm done.  
  
Pipsy: (disgusted) No, that's not needed!  
  
TT: Didn't think so.  
  
TT had the decency to hop out of his 'craft and onto the sand to drain the aqueduct, unlike Toad who stood on his 'craft and let it fly.  
  
Taj: Does anyone else have to go?  
  
Peach: (joking) No, but I need to put on my mascara. (snicker)  
  
Pipsy: This is a battle, not a beauty contest.  
  
Peach: Shows how much humor you have...  
  
Taj: Now I have to piss. Donkey Kong, take over.  
  
DK: No problem. Everyone who's ready, raise your hand.  
  
(Peach and Pipsy yawn, then raise one of their hands. After Toad belches, he raises his hand) TT sat in his 'craft, relieved and refreshed, raised his hand.  
  
DK: Okay. Battlers ready? GO!  
  
And FINALLY, this battle is under way. The teammates assembled and began to fight.  
  
Toad: Let's set up traps, this way, they won't know what hit 'em.  
  
Peach: Good idea.  
  
Toad: And remember, keep your guard up.  
  
TT: Let's trash those guys.  
  
Pipsy: Yeah!  
  
The strategies were going well for Toad, but Peach was having a little trouble with the Danger Bubbles she placed since she couldn't see where they were.  
  
Peach: Hey Toad, is everything going to plan?  
  
Toad: Great.  
  
Peach: Same here.  
  
Toad: Just don't get caught off guard.  
  
Peach: Don't worry I'm fi-iiiieee!  
  
Pipsy & TT: Eat missiles, Peach.  
  
Toad: Peach... Peach... Grrr, they got her. I told her to keep her guard up.  
Meanwhile, Taj came back from the throne.  
  
Taj: What did I miss?  
  
Timber: Peach got taken out of the game quickly. You would have been like "Whoa, what just happened?"  
  
Taj: That fast huh?  
  
Diddy: Yup. (turns to Mario) Hey Mario, do you think that Toad can take on a double team?  
  
Mario: (\_/) Just watch the battle, Kong!  
  
TT: Good job.  
  
Pipsy: You too.  
  
Pipsy & TT: Hey, what the? Danger Bubbles.  
  
Though Peach was out of the game, her trap didn't go to waste. The team DKR went right for the bubbles without notice. The two finally landed on the water and TT came up with an idea. TT: Look, you go on way and I'll go the other way. Pipsy: Good idea. This was a good idea indeed, too bad they both ran into another bubble.  
  
Pipsy: This isn't working.  
  
TT: What's your idea?  
  
Pipsy: Follow me, I have an idea.  
  
TT did just that, but it cost Pipsy to take another bubble as her partner left the trap safely... Or so he thought. Toad had fired a Homing Missile at TT, who was cackling away as TT recovered.  
  
TT: Hey Pipsy, are you all right?  
  
Pipsy: I'm out of the trap of bubbles and--Oop. Well you're on your own now, good luck.  
  
Pipsy ran into another Danger Bubble. Mario was grinning now.  
  
Mario: Hey Diddy, it looks like this flag is ours now.  
  
Diddy: Don't be so sure about that, Mario.  
  
Mario: Just remember that TT has only on hit left and Toad hasn't been touched yet.  
  
Diddy: Looks like he ran into a bubble to me.  
  
Mario: Huh?  
  
Mario averted his gaze to see Toad airborne, then shrugged it off.  
  
Mario: Oh well, so he took one hit, we still won.  
  
Five long minutes later, the match was at ease and the next hit decided the outcome. [Toad and TT rammed into each other, but were both teleported out of the arena when they looked like they made contact.]  
  
Diddy & Mario: What happened?  
  
Yoshi: (U_U) They both shot each other with a Missile at point blank range, eliminating and being eliminated at the same time.  
  
Timber: You're kidding me, right?  
  
Yoshi: Nope. Face it people, this match is a draw.  
  
DK & Taj: We'll be the judges of that.  
  
Yoshi: (U_U) Okay, but I know what my 20/10 vision saw.  
  
Out in the lobby, everyone watched it all happen in slow motion. It turned out that Yoshi was right, this is a draw.  
  
Yoshi: I told you guys.  
  
Taj: Even so, we still had to make sure.  
  
Peach: I take it you liked my "Bubble Trouble Trap" you two?  
  
Pipsy & TT: Clever, real clever.  
  
Toad: Told ya' that you wouldn't steal anything from me.  
  
TT: That you did. Not bad for battling, Toad. Now I get to see how you race.  
  
Toad: Don't worry, we'll race head to head. It may not be for a flag, but we will race again.  
  
Both rivals shake hands.  
  
DK: Such good sports you are, very good sports. Now, let's have lunch and after that, we'll get back to racing pronto.  
  
TT: Cool, I'm hungry.  
  
Yoshi: Yeah me too.  
  
Bowser: I'm gonna' eat like a good king.  
  
As the twenty racers walked off to have lunch, DK and Taj followed by a good distance.  
  
DK: Just as I thought, Taj.  
  
Taj: I agree. If this keeps up, we're really going to see some competition.  
  
DK: We sure are. C'mon man, let's go eat.  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-1 MKR-1  
  
To be continued..... 


	4. the little Mario that could

RACE WARS  
PART 3  
MELON SIZES  
  
Here in the second Odds Event, six racers rev up their karts on Vanilla Lake. The racers were lined up vertically and like so in place: Pipsy, Peach, Baby Mario, Bumper, Bowser and Krunch. Jugem sat before the six racers holding up the racing light on a pole as he explained this event to the racers.  
  
Jugem: Okay everyone listen up, this isn't like the last event. This free- for-all is five laps long, but this time, a three on one Flag Event is at stake here. In addition to that, the winner gets to choose to be in the next or following Flag event on the Royal Raceway. You only have Slicks and Mine Boxes to work with, so it does make this icy course even more challenging. Remember, any signs of team effort will give the three man advantage to the other side in the next point match to break the tie.  
  
Baby Mario: Does the winner get to choose his three man team if he or she wins and his team isn't disqualified?  
  
Jugem: Hold on, let me check...  
  
Jugem flies in his cloud over to Taj and DK and tells the two about Baby Mario's question. Both nod and Jugem flies back to the awaiting racers.  
  
Jugem: Yes, the winner get to pick his or her "pawns" for the point.  
  
Krunch: Even who the team faces?  
[Jugem looks over to the judges with confusion. Taj nods in approval and Jugem turns back to the awaiting racers.]  
  
Jugem: Rivals too.  
  
Krunch: Oh yeah. Now there's more at stake here.  
  
Jugem: Okay. Gentlemen and gentlebaby, are you ready?  
  
Baby Mario, Bowser, Bumper & Krunch: Yeah.  
  
Jugem: Ladies, are you ready to settle the score?  
  
Peach & Pipsy: Oh yes!  
  
Jugem: All right. the five laps start on the green light.  
  
Jugem held the light steady and went the green light sounded, all six racers shot off like bullets. Peach and Pipsy were neck and neck around the first three turns with Baby Mario closing behind them. It seemed like the two females were like a moving brick wall, but that didn't stop the young baby from trying to pass them. It was the many Slicks that trailed the two leaders the made it hard for him, since Peach and Pipsy were trying to spin each other out on her Slicks and take the lead. Baby Mario spun out and hit the wall, making him drop ot sixth place.  
  
Baby Mario: I have four laps after this one man. Get a grip, there's plenty of time.  
  
Peach: I'm not going to let you cheap me out like in the previous event, Pipsy. You're going to work for first this time.  
  
Pipsy: You said it just how I would have, princess.  
  
The girls stayed like this for the entire race, but Baby Mario noticed a line of islands on the fourth lap that go across the lake and end near the start/finish line.  
  
Baby Mario: I wonder why none of the racers have tried the island shortcut yet... Maybe they're afraid of falling into the cold waters of the lake. By the looks of things, those girls are going to be a moving screen and tie the race. But if I can take the shortcut...  
  
The final lap came up and the baby's assumption was correct, the female rivals didn't change in the slightest. Baby Mario managed to get into third again, but this time something happened. Peach slipped on a Slick and rammed into a wall. When our princess was starting to back up, Baby Mario zoomed right on by.  
  
Peach: Go, Baby, get her!  
  
Baby Mario, as well as Jugem, were a little confused about Peach's cheer for her teammate. But since cheering wasn't a sign of teamwork, it was fair game. Pipsy, who had pole for some time and was ahead of all of the other racers, felt victory in her grasp.  
  
Pipsy: I wonder why no one has come to take first place from... me..?  
  
The racing mouse just saw Baby Mario hopping from isle to isle on the shortcut.  
  
Pipsy: That little brat's got guts. He's taking the island shortcut which ends near the line. I would have tried it myself, though advantageous, but it's way too risky. One miscalculation while hopping from island to island and you're going into the arctic-like drink, which can cause pneumonia. I'm a skilled driver, but I prefer to go around.  
  
Baby Mario: So far, so good. I just hope that I don't fall in the water.  
[Baby had two near falls when it came to the "S" in the islands. He made a misjudgment landed him two islands ahead and on the turn. But since he was going too fast, he couldn't turn to the next island.] Everyone on the sidelines saw Baby Mario on the cuts.  
  
Luigi: Baby Mario's gonna' land in the water!  
  
Everyone's agasp as they watched and expected the baby to fall into the water, but Baby jumped over the gap. When he landed, both sides were cheering on Baby Mario. It's too bad that he overshot the last island and landed in the cold water just as Pipsy was heading down the home stretch.  
  
Mario: Jugem, get him out of there now!  
  
Jugem: I'm already on it, Mario.  
  
Jugem rushed to where Baby fell into the water as Pipsy was zooming down the stretch.  
  
Pipsy: Man I wish I had a boost!  
  
Jugem: Baby, where are you?  
  
Mario: Jugem, what's taking so long?  
  
Jugem: I don't see him, but I'll keep looking.  
  
Jugem looked for his teammate some more, but it was no use. Jugem couldn't find him and went back to the group sadly. It looked as though Pipsy had this race won, but Baby Mario hopped out of the water and over the line, stealing first from Pipsy. Jugem was relieved to see the little baby, even though his body had turned blizzard blue. Peach wrapped the cold Baby in her blanket, which rested on her shoulders.  
  
Peach: You poor baby, are you all right?  
  
Baby Mario: I feel sleepy... very sleepy.  
  
Peach: You can't go to sleep now, not when you're this cold.  
  
Baby Mario: But isn't sleep good?  
  
Peach: Baby Mario, you can't sleep right now. If you do, you're going to die.  
Peach stopped talking and headed over to the water and dunked his face in. After he was squirming, the princess pulled him out of the water.  
  
Baby Mario: Okay, I'm up. I'm up, just don't put me in the water.  
  
Pipsy: Oh well, I tried guys.  
  
Timber: Don't feel bad, Pipsy.  
  
Diddy: Yeah. No one can win all of the time, including your boyfriend.  
  
Tip Tup: That was great kid, I'm impressed.  
  
Baby Mario: Thanks.  
  
TT: No prob. I mean, you had both sides cheering for you. That's quite an accomplishment for someone your age.  
  
*  
  
That evening, everyone celebrated how things turned out at Vanilla Lake.  
  
Yoshi: Let's have a toast for Baby Mario, the little guy that could.  
  
All: (clinging glasses) Cheers!!  
  
The eighteen racers and the two judges had a nice dinner in the Mushroom Kingdom. They all ate like knights of the round table, happily and heartily. If it was the only thing the rivals of Race Wars could agree on, it was how the food tasted.  
  
Diddy: I have to admit it, that kid had a lot of guts taking that shortcut and winning the race for you guys. I sure as hell wouldn't have taken it.  
  
Timber: Me neither.  
  
Pipsy: I thought about taking it, but what had happened to the little guy was the reason why I chose not to.  
  
Yoshi: So how does it feel to be robbed?  
  
Pipsy: I can't really be upset about it, 'cause... 'cause... I can't really think of the reason why, but at least I didn't fall in the water.  
  
TT: Say, where is the little guy anyway?  
(at Peach's castle)  
  
Baby Mario: Ah, ah, ah, ahh-choo!  
  
Peach: You poor guy, caught a cold during that race.  
  
Baby Mario: A cold? Ah man.  
  
Peach: You're lucky that a baby like you is still living.  
  
Baby Mario: I guess I am lucky, aren't I?  
  
Peach: Yes you are. Since you have a cold, there's no way you can participate in tonight's flag event. But the good news is you can choose who can.  
Daisy suddenly walks into the room.  
  
Daisy: Is everything okay?  
  
Peach: Baby just has a cold, that's all.  
  
Daisy: Oh you poor baby, how do you feel?  
  
Baby Mario: I fell in water that was twenty degrees below zero, I'm miserable!  
  
Daisy: I'll watch him while you go and eat with the team, Peach.  
  
Peach: I know, but Baby has to do something before I go.  
  
Baby Mario was given a red pen and a piece of paper. Knowing what to do, the baby wrote down his wishes for the flag point which was going to happen later on tonight.  
  
Peach: I'll bring you back a plate, Baby.  
  
Daisy: What about me?  
  
Peach: I'll tell Mario to fix you one. Are you done Baby?  
  
Baby Mario: Yeah, here. Ah-choo!  
  
Peach: Ewww! I have a better idea about this...  
  
Meanwhile back at the dinner party, Mario was bragging about "Mini him".  
  
Mario: I told you that he had big melons like the rest of us.  
  
Diddy: Melons, yeah right.  
  
Luigi: Don't get mad because he has melons and you have to settle for grapefruits.  
  
Timber: My melons are bigger than yours are, Luigi.  
  
Bowser: Yeah, but they're hangin' from a small tree I bet.  
(KT, Toad and Yoshi snicker under their breaths)  
  
Timber: I never knew you looked at another guy's tree, Bowser.  
(Diddy, Krunch and TT snicker under their breaths)  
  
Bowser: No, I don't do that "cubby," but thanks for telling us how small you are.  
  
DK: Okay, that's enough. I see where this is getting and I don't like it, so let's move on. As you all well know, the score is tied at one flag each thanks to Toad and TT's draw at Darkwater Beach. Now the next flag will be three on one in MKR's favor.  
  
Peach: Hey everyone, did I miss anything?  
  
DK: Ah, princess.  
  
Peach: (\_/) Don't call me that!  
  
DK: What's up?  
  
Peach: I just got back from the castle and I recorded this little thing pertaining to what's to come.  
  
Mario: Who's watching Baby?  
  
Peach: Daisy is Mario, she wants you to make her a plate. Anyhoo, listen up.  
  
Peach pulled out the tape player from her pocket and pressed play. The recording began to explain about what will happen next.  
  
Baby Mario: I, Baby Mario, in sound mind and (sneeze) sick body, have no choice but to sit this next flag out. But I will have my race against Tip Tup on the Royal Raceway on the next flag point. In this event, Conker will take on Waluigi, KT and um.. Bowser on top of the skyscraper for the next flag event that will happen tonight. Well, (sneeze) I better rest now. See you in two flags Tip Tup. (sneeze thrice) Oops, my snot's on the recorder...  
  
[The tape recorder clicks over and Peach puts it back into her pocket. Then, she heads over to the food to Make Baby Mario a plate. Conker seems unpleased as his adversaries smile devilishly]  
  
Bowser: How can I say this simply? You're getting your ass kicked.  
  
Conker: Whatever.  
  
KT: You just don't get it, so let me explain. The three of us have practiced there earlier this morning and have planned our strategies. You're in the Master's Territory now.  
  
Conker: "Masters", humph. You don't scare me.  
  
Bowser: Open your ears, rookie. You don't have a chance of winning to all three of us, especially not on our turf, so you might as well throw in the towel now and save us time.  
  
Conker: (sarcastically) Could you repeat that, I wasn't listening?  
  
Waluigi: Okay, listen to this. If you don't surrender now and give us the flag, we'll beat it out of you!  
  
Conker: (sarcastically) I still don't know what you're all talking about.  
  
KT: Listen roadkill, you have two choices: You can give us the flag now, or you can get your ass kicked and still give us the flag.  
Conker lifted his nose.  
  
KT: Does anyone here know how to speak Jackass, 'cause Conker can't understand English?  
MKR  
  
Now it was time for the second flag point to be decided. Conker was all alone against three Mario Kart battlers, on top of the Skyscraper and everyone else was inside the building watching the battle.  
  
DK: I told you that this was going to backfire on you Taj, but nooo, you didn't listen.  
  
Taj: I have faith in Conker's abilities, Donkey Kong. He may be by himself, but he will do his best.  
  
Pipsy: It's a good thing you came to watch this, Berri.  
  
Berri: Well you how the saying goes Pipsy, "Stand by your man."  
  
Timber: (worried) Diddy, do you really think that Conker will be able to win?  
  
Diddy: I really don't know and I really can't say.  
  
Tip Tup: I can't believe this is going on at the top of this building.  
  
Mario: Believe it, Tip Tup. You don't have much of a choice, seeing as it's right before your eyes. Literally!  
  
TT: I want to know what happens if he falls?  
  
Yoshi: That all depends, TT. If Conker falls in the center of the arena, he'll land in a black pit. But if he falls off the side... that's where the Lakitu Bros. come in.  
  
TT: You mean there's no safety net?  
  
Mario Bros.: What's a safety net?  
  
TT: You're kidding me, right?  
  
Luigi: Nope. There is no such thing as a safety net here in Mario Kart, just a Lakitu to catch you.  
  
Toad: This is why we have melons and you have grapefruits.  
  
Diddy: You guys mix guts and stupidity up too much, either that or you're all crazy.  
  
Team MKR and DK eye Diddy in resent.  
  
Diddy: Ew. Okay, I take it back.  
  
The battle was ready to begin and the MKR players were set, but Conker was a little bit scared.  
  
Conker: 'Ey Jugem, a quick question.  
  
Jugem: Shoot.  
  
Conker: How high are we?  
  
Jugem: Oh, about a hundred twenty or so stories up. Why? You don't have acrophobia, do you?  
  
Conker: No, I just don't want to fall.  
  
Jugem: If you have to fall, do it in the pit located in the middle of the arena. That way, I'll pull you out of it. But If you fall off the side, my three brothers and I will catch you.  
  
Conker: How long have you been doing this?  
  
Jugem: Catching things is one of the skills we Lakitu Bros. are taught after three months of life. Don't worry, we won't let you fall.  
  
Conker: Exactly where will you be?  
  
Jugem: Right behind you. Okay bros, sound off!  
  
LB2: LB2 here. All set.  
  
LB4: LB4 here. Good to go!  
  
Bobby: LB3 here. Get into place, Jugem.  
  
Jugem: Okay. Listen up everyone, I'm only saying this once. This is a three on one event to determine which team will take the lead. The rules are simple, with the three balloons you have, you must be able to pop the other players balloons without popping your own. Whichever team is left standing will take the flag and the lead. Gentlemen, are you ready?  
  
Bowser, KT & Waluigi: Yeah!  
  
Conker: (sigh) Let's get this over with.  
  
Jugem: Good. Begin battling on the green light and good luck to both teams.  
  
Jugem held four lights on his pole so each of the four battlers can see them out ot their respected places. Once the green light sounded off, Jugem took his place, ready to catch whoever fell on his side of the building. Conker went in reverse and decided to drive around the outside and get the advantage on his opponents. Team MKR were all in the middle and filed out like soldiers after Conker. Conker managed to Pick up a Bouncy Missile.  
  
Conker: There aren't any walls here, what good is this weapon?  
Conker fired the weapon behind him and just missed Waluigi, who was tailing the DKR driver. Conker knew who was behind him and decided to ditch his pursuer and succeeded. However, Bowser was now on his tail with a 10pak on hand and was firing away at him. Luckily for the lone driver, every last missile missed him, but a few threw his kart off balance.  
  
Conker: Why do I have a funny feeling that he was missing on purpose?  
  
Bowser: That's right Conker, keep ditching one of us. You just don't know that whoever you ditch, someone else gets the chance to toy with you. You really need to do something else besides run away, Conker. If you keep this up, you're gonna' get 'conkered' man. Haha!  
  
Conker: Don't tell me how to drive. I know what I'm doing you crazy turtle, so leave me alone.  
  
Bowser: All you had to do was ask Conker...  
  
With that said, Bowser stopped tailing Conker, but now it was KT's turn. Both of them picked up Slickpaks and were using them. Conker was dropping them, trying to slip KT up and KT was shooting them ahead, trying to mess Conker up. Conker slid on one of them, but was able to save himself from losing a balloon.  
  
KT: I don't know about you pal, but I can do this all night.  
Inside the building, everyone else was trying to figure out what Conker's opponents were doing. Mario: Does anyone else have any ideas?  
  
Yoshi: Four blue coins says they're gonna' 'gangbang' him.  
  
Toad: The three of them knock Conker off of the building? You're on Yoshi. (shakes Yoshi's hand)  
  
Yoshi: It's a pleasure doing business with you Toad.  
  
Ten minutes later, after the three-way game of 'Cat and Mouse', Team MKR have cornered Conker. And to make things worse, Conker is unarmed.  
  
Conker: This can't be good.  
  
Bowser and KT charged at Conker, But Conker got away for the moment. It only took a few seconds for his three adversaries to catch up to him.  
  
Bowser, KT & Waluigi: (impersonating the Ripping Friends) It's ripping time! {boy that was cheesy}  
  
KT and Waluigi let Bowser tail Conker as they set up Mine Boxes on all the entrances to the tunnels. It took a while, but they did it, except for the one where Conker started at. Conker tried to get in, but didn't want to take a Mine Box.  
  
Conker: Great, they trapped me out here. Oh well, I guess I have no choice now. I'll take your advice now Bowser and do something new.  
  
Bowser: It's too late for that now, 'son'.  
  
Conker: It's never too late.  
  
KT: You're right about one thing.  
  
Conker: What the...  
But before he could react, Conker was knocked hard by Team MKR, causing him ot spin out and lose a balloon, and the force had also knocked him off of the building, which costs another balloon. Team DKR was agasp at how the MKR racers executed a well thought plan. Berri had covered her eyes and turned away from the monitor.  
  
Berri: I can't watch, I can't watch!  
  
Conker: This is gonna' HURT!!!!!  
  
[The MKR battlers watched Conker fall off the building for a few seconds, then went through Conker's spot and returned to their spots. Twelve stories down, Conker was being lifted up to his spot.  
  
Bobby: You can open your eyes now man.  
  
Conker: (opening eyes) Am I dead?  
  
Bobby: No, you're alive.  
  
Conker: I saw my whole life flash before my eyes.... I need to get laid.  
  
Conker was placed right back where he started and gazed Waluigi who had an evil grin on his face. Then, the thoughts of being knocked off the building flashed into his mind again. After seeing what just happened to himself a few moments ago, he comes up with a simple suggestion.  
  
Conker: This isn't going to happen again... No, not twice.  
  
KT: Hey guys, are you ready to seal the deal?  
  
Waluigi: Oh yeah.  
  
Bowser: Do I really have to answer this question?  
  
KT: Hey, what's he doing?  
  
Bowser & Waluigi: Huh?  
(inside the building)  
  
Mario: I don't get it. Why isn't Conker in his kart?  
  
Diddy: That's a good question.  
  
Yoshi: (^_^) You guys are clueless.  
  
Toad: What's that around his neck?  
Conker had walked to the middle of the arena with a stick in hand and a white towel around his neck. He then removed the towel, fixed it to the stick and began waving it around. Yoshi had a half smile on his face.  
  
Yoshi: Just as I thought.  
  
Waluigi: Conker, what's going on here?  
  
Conker: What does it look like, idiot?  
  
KT: You're giving up aren't you?  
  
Conker: I'm not waving this thing like a flag for nothing...  
  
The MKR players grinned at Conker's conceding display.  
  
Bowser: As much as I wanted to whoop your ass, we'll take your surrender.  
  
Waluigi: What do you mean 'we?'  
  
Bowser: It's like his friends said. "A win's a win." And I'm taking it, as well as you two are.  
  
KT: Why should we have to take a win like this?  
  
Bowser: (whispers to his allies) Because we can always beat him up later.  
  
KT & Waluigi: I see.  
  
[KT gets out of his kart and starts walking over to Conker. With his allies behind him, they approached Conker.]  
  
KT: (extending left hand) Even though I don't want to do it, as well as Waluigi the same, we'll except your defeat Conker. All you have to do now is shake our hands and seal it, unless you want us to knock you off again...  
  
Conker: (swallowing pride) Sorry Diddy, Berri, my friends, I let you all down. Forgive me for what I'm about to do...  
Conker shook his opponents' hands and made his forfeit legit.  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-1 MKR-2  
*  
  
DKR  
  
Team DKR headed back to the island to call it a night. Once they were there, everyone had a talk about what had happened.  
  
Conker: Listen guys, I want to say that I'm sorry for letting the team down tonight. Can you forgive me?  
  
Pipsy: Why, you didn't do anything wrong.  
  
Conker: Yes I did, I quit the match.  
  
Darion: That's not what I saw....  
  
TT: (turns to Darion) You saw the match?  
  
Darion: Yes I did. And I'm quite pleased with what you did Conker. Since you look confused, I will tell you what you really did.  
  
Conker: Please do.  
  
Darion: You see Conk, you realized that winning isn't worth dying for. You wanted to win so badly, even with the odds against you, that you almost lost a more important game than the one you're in now... life. When you got knocked off, you told yourself, "Forget it. I want to win, but I don't want to die.", or something like that. Either way, you didn't want to let your team down. Conker, it takes guts to do an impossible feat, but it takes more guts to admit you can't do that and have to swallow your pride in front of your competition. Racer K once said, "There is no shame in making a challenge, unless you can't admit that the challenge can't be done." Even if you felt like you let a lot of yourself, or anyone else down, take pride in winning and losing. Besides, it's better to quit than to die trying.  
  
Conker: Berri, what do you have to say about this?  
  
Berri: I'm just happy you're still with me.  
  
Conker: If it's all right with you Diddy, I'm going to sit out for a while.  
  
Timber: Will you come back and compete in the rest of Race Wars?  
  
Conker: Maybe and maybe not. But I want to get over this now, even though it will take some time.  
  
Diddy: Sure, Conker. Take all the time you need.  
  
Conker: Thanks.  
  
TT: Well Darion, it looks like you're going to be filling in for Conker.  
  
Diddy: No, not yet.  
  
Darion: What do you mean!  
  
Diddy: I have a plan for you in the future Darion. If the other side races you now, DKR's trump card...  
(TT and Drumstick eye Diddy oddly)  
  
Diddy: The highest trump card, we won't stand a chance.  
  
TT: What are we, liver and onions?  
  
Diddy: No disrespect guys, but Darion is our 'Joker' in our deck of queen, kings and aces. If you throw out your highest card now, you may lose it later.  
  
Conker: But who's going to fill in for me?  
  
Kazooie: I can do it. Darion: You're going to let the 'Little red hen' drive before me? Come on now!  
  
Banjo: (chuckling) Little red hen.  
  
Kazooie: Banjo?!  
  
Diddy: No offense Darion, but we all know they aren't ready for you. Berri, I want you to fill in for Conker.  
  
Berri: No offense Diddy, but X should do the honors, not me.  
  
Diddy: Haven't you been practicing?  
  
Berri: Yeah, but-  
  
Diddy: But you're a part of our team.  
  
Pipsy: Come on girl, I need another female to race with me. And don't worry, I'll give you a few pointers.  
  
Berri: Really? Well...  
  
Conker: Go on Berri. You've always wanted to shine on your own, and now's the time to shine on your own.  
  
Berri: Okay, okay, I'll do it.  
  
Darion: Okay Berri, now it's time to give you a few basics. Come on, I will show you some moves. You too Pip, come see a few more things.  
  
Darion took Berri and Pipsy to learn a few more tricks so he would have something to do before his time came to race.  
  
Timber: Darion seems disappointed.  
  
Diddy: He is, but it's the right thing to do.  
  
Timber: Are you sure about that?  
  
Diddy: Sure. If my uncle's friends want to race against Darion, they're going to have to work for it.  
  
TT: I agree. Let's see if they're worthy of a duel with Racer X.  
Meanwhile, Taj and DK are figuring out what to do next. [Taj is spinning a wheel with all of the courses on it to determine where the next Odds race will be, while DK rolls a D4 {four-sided die} with four colors to decide how this race or battle will turn out. The D4 turned up blue, which meant three on one.]  
  
DK: So how many racers are there in this next run?  
  
Taj: Six.  
  
DK: And where is this going to be at?  
  
Taj: Frosty Village. Now how did the die turn up?  
  
DK: Blue.  
  
Taj: Okay, that means four on two.  
  
DK: But which team gets two racers?  
  
Taj: That will be determined by the roll of the dice.  
  
MKR  
  
Peach: How are you feeling now, Baby?  
  
Baby Mario: I'm as fresh as spring air. (sneeze) At least mentally anyway.  
  
Peach: If you're like this later on, you won't be able to race against Tip Tup.  
  
Baby Mario: Aww Peach?  
  
Peach: No Baby, I'm not going to let you race like this.  
  
Mario: Is something wrong here?  
  
Peach: Baby's still a little under the weather right now.  
  
Baby Mario: But I wanna' race tomorrow.  
  
Mario: Then I guess you should try to get better before the flag race then.  
[Mario left the room and signaled Peach to follow. Before leaving the room, she put Baby Mario down for the night. She placed his bottle to his right and his Link Doll {yes Link from "The Legend of Zelda"} to his left.]  
  
Peach: Is something wrong, Mario?  
  
Mario: Luigi seems down about something, but he won't tell me.  
  
Peach: I knew this was about the ring. As usual, my instincts are right again. Everybody goes through the motions now and then, Mario. This is normal, besides, it's not like it's going to affect his performance on the track.  
  
Yoshi: Not that I mind, but I just found out a bit of info on what's going on for the Odds race tomorrow.  
  
Mario: What's up?  
  
Yoshi: DK said that the next one is going to be in the Frosty Village.  
  
Peach: What about the odds.  
  
Yoshi: Four on two and dice will tell us who gets the four racers. I don't know about you, but I'm going to the other side to practice.  
  
Mario: At this hour?  
  
Yoshi: Is there a problem?  
  
Mario: No, but you can do this after breakfast...  
  
Yoshi: (shrug) Your call Mario. Since you want me to wait for the 'morrow, I will wait. Well, I better let you two sleep, see ya' tomorrow.  
  
Mario & Peach: Good night Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi leaves and Mario decides he should do the same.  
  
Mario: Bye.  
  
Peach: Bye... And Mario?  
  
Mario: Yes?  
  
Peach: Tell your brother not to worry, I'm still thinking about it.  
  
Mario: Thinking about what?  
  
Peach: Luigi knows.  
  
Mario: All right.  
  
Mario leaves the castle and Peach locks up behind him. She then heads to her quarters to rest for the day ahead of her.  
*  
  
The next day, the racers met up at Snowflake Mountain. Everyone was in the lobby right in front of the Icicle Pyramid entrance. Taj: Okay everyone, this next Odds Event is four on two and they will be decided by the substitute racers. So ladies, please step forward. (Berri and Fuchsia stepped forward) Okay ladies, the two D10s in front of you will determine how your side will fare in this race. The highest roll gets the four racers. Are there any questions?  
  
Fuchsia: Yeah. One of these die are in multiples of ten, why is that?  
  
Taj: So you can get a higher number.  
  
Fuchsia: So what happens if I roll a "0" on this die and a "00" on the other one?  
  
Taj: That equals a hundred.  
  
Berri: Don't you know your die, girl?  
  
Fuchsia: Only the six-sided ones. You roll first.  
  
Berri takes the dice and rolls them, giving her a total of twenty-four. Fuchsia did the same thing and ended up with a total of sixty.  
  
Berri: You're just lucky that I'm a bad Craps player.  
  
Fuchsia: Luck is for the supers.  
  
KT: Once again, you guys are outnumbered.  
  
TT: Maybe, but you're on our turf now.  
  
KT: (sarcastically) Ooh, I'm so scared.  
  
Diddy & Mario: Knock it off.  
  
Taj: Now we will determine who will be racing for each side.  
  
[Taj rolled two of the four D10s to decide who would race from his side and was happy with the results.]  
  
Taj: Berri and Krunch will race for Team DKR.  
Taj passed his dice to DK.  
  
DK: Thank you. (rolls all four D10s) Bowser, Peach, Yoshi and Wario will be racing for Team MKR.  
  
Bowser: Ready to race, "son"?  
  
Krunch: Whenever you are, "old man".  
  
Bowser: (*-_-) Hey!  
  
Diddy: Make us proud, Berri.  
  
Berri: Right.  
  
The racers went into the village and Darion was filling them in on things.  
  
Darion: Okay people, you know the deal here. This is a traditional three lap race around the village. Your teammate, or teammates are able to help you in this race. Are you ready?  
  
All racers: Yes!  
  
Darion: Line up two by two.  
  
Darion, as well as Diddy didn't like how the six racers lined up, but they had no choice but to accept the fact that their friends were sandwiched between their rivals. Berri was the only oddball in this race, since she decided to race in her hovercraft.  
  
Darion: Racers ready? GO!  
  
And off they all went. Around the first turn, all of the racers missed the first set of item boxes and zoomed off the boost down the hill. By the time came for the racers to enter the tunnel, Krunch and Berri were behind the MKR racers. From the watching area, Diddy watched in concern.  
  
Diddy: What are they up to? whatever it is, I don't like it one bit.  
  
TT: I hope we win.  
  
Timber: Me too.  
  
Inside of the tunnel, the four MKR racers were lined up like a wall.  
  
Yoshi: Did anyone get a weapon besides me before entering the tunnel?  
  
Bowser: I got a 10pak.  
  
Yoshi: Me too. Bowser, when the four of us exit the tunnel, let Peach and Wario finish the race.  
  
Bowser: Why?  
  
Yoshi: We have missiles man, the two of us can set up an ambush near the end of the tunnel and blast Krunch and Berri as they leave.  
  
Bowser: I get it. This way, Peach and Wario can finish the race while we stall time for them.  
  
Yoshi: can you two do that?  
  
Peach & Wario: No problem.  
  
Yoshi: Good. This way, we can still win the race.  
As they exited the tunnel, Peach and Wario went on while Yoshi and Bowser waited for Krunch and Berri on the sides. Bowser: So how will this work?  
  
Yoshi: Wait for Krunch and or Berri to leave the tunnel, and as they head down the track, we'll fire at them.  
  
Bowser: How will we know who's who in this fog?  
  
Yoshi: We're right next--Here they come. Don't waste any more than four rounds each lap.  
As Krunch and Berri exited the tunnel, Yoshi and Bowser saw them and fired four missiles at them. But due to the fog, the eight missiles barely missed the DKR racers.  
  
Krunch: That was close huh Berri?  
  
Berri: How did they get behind us?  
  
Krunch: Good question, but we can't worry about that now. We need to win this one, so let's catch up to the other racers.  
  
It didn't take long for Krunch and Berri to find Peach and Wario, and at the end of the first lap, the four racers were neck and neck.  
  
TT: Something's rotten here. where are Bowser and Yoshi?  
  
Timber: Maybe they're lost in the fog?  
  
Diddy: No way. You don't get lost in a race course like this, it's a trap. But where is it?  
Darion also smelled the trap and decided to radio one of his friends.  
  
Darion: Hey Krunch, can you hear me?  
  
Krunch: What's up?  
  
Darion: Bowser and Yoshi haven't crossed the line yet and I don't hear their karts.  
  
Krunch: So that's who was firing at us near the end of the tunnel. Thanks for telling me, I just struck lightning.  
  
Darion: No prob, now take this home.  
  
Krunch: Gotcha'. Berri, how are you doing up there?  
  
Berri: Good, why? Krunch: There's a trap at the end of the tunnel. Bowser and Yoshi were firing at us when we left if on the first lap. Do you have a Shield?  
  
Berri: Yeah, and I'm halfway through the tunnel.  
  
Krunch: Use it now, I'm right behind ya'.  
  
Berri: But why?  
  
Krunch: Just trust me.  
  
Berri: Shield's up.  
  
Krunch: Good, now it's Thunder time.  
  
Krunch used the Thunder Bullet he had which shrunk the other racers and Berri turned to the right side after she smashed Wario and smashed Yoshi. Krunch had smashed Peach on his way out and flattened Bowser on the way.  
  
Krunch: Go Berri, I'll take care of the trap and make sure that you have a clear way out on the next lap. Peach had managed to evade Krunch's blockade and pursued Berri, while Wario helped out with the ambush. It didn't take long before Peach caught up with Berri.  
  
Peach: You may have found out about our trap, but this race is far from over.  
  
Berri: True Peach, but you can't take the water shortcut like I can.  
[Berri cut off the track and under the waterfall as peach went around the track, it's too bad Peach didn't know about the Slick trap Berri made on the previous lap. The final lap was now clear sailing for Berri since Peach spun out and landed so far into the lake on the left.] As she finished her second lap, Darion cheered her on.  
  
Darion: Go Berri, go! One more lap!  
  
Berri: Thanks, X!  
Berri seemed to have it won going into the final lap seeing as Peach was far behind her as she entered the tunnel with a Stealth Steal in hand.  
  
Krunch: Berri, I'm outside the tunnel and I gotcha' covered. It's time for you to shine.  
  
Berri: Thanks Krunch.  
  
Krunch: Take it home, girlfriend. As Berri exited the tunnel, she saw krunch and waved to him. Peach was now on her way out of the tunnel and Krunch wailed his 10pak.  
  
Krunch: Here's a taste of your nasty medicine.  
  
Peach: Nasty huh? Maybe this will taste better.  
  
Peach let her Hyper Missile fly and Krunch took it head-on. He got hurt, but didn't care. He knew even if the missile hit Berri, his ally would still win the race. Meanwhile at the line, Darion heard Berri coming' down the stretch and was cheering for her. A happy Berri was waving to Darion as she came down the line, but...  
  
Darion: Berri, look out!  
  
Berri: Huh?  
  
Peach's Hyper caught up to her and it knocked the chipmunk high into the air.  
  
Mario Bros.: Damn!  
  
Timber: I don't like the looks of this.  
Timber had a reason not to. Because even though Berri's 'craft crossed the line with her in it, it landed in the water upside down. Peach crossed the line and saw Darion out in the water to fetch Berri.  
  
Peach: (sigh) I better go help him.  
  
After Berri was out of the water and safely chugging on cocoa, everyone had a talk about what had happened.  
  
Conker: That Hyper Missile is dangerous Taj. I say we take it out for the rest of Race Wars.  
  
Mario: No way! It's no one's fault how that missile hits anyone, I say we keep it.  
  
DK: You both bring up good points about the weapon, but I'm going to side with Conker on this Mario. We're taking out the Hyper Missile, but to make things fair, we're taking out the 10pak too.  
  
Pipsy & Yoshi: Not the 10pak. Noooo!  
  
Taj: I agree. Now that this is settled, let's have lunch and have our flag match afterwards.  
  
MKR  
  
Everyone was now having lunch and enjoying things. Krunch: Hey "old man", that was a nice plan at the tunnel you made.  
  
Yoshi: I'm glad you liked my expertise.  
  
Krunch: That was your plan?  
  
Yoshi: Of course! I'm bad huh?  
  
Tip Tup: That was kind of cool. Anyway, do you feel a lot better now Berri?  
  
Berri: Yup. I'm glad that I had my chance to shine.  
  
Darion: The spotlight rarely shows up in life, but those who earn it get to shine under it.  
  
Daisy: Hey, come back here!  
  
Diddy & Timber: Huh?  
  
Baby Mario: Mario, help!  
[Baby Mario ran to the sight with Daisy following him. the baby jumped into Peach's arms and clung to her.] Peach: Hey, I'm not a koala. Get off of me!  
  
Daisy: Baby, come here.  
  
Tip Tup: Well, well, well, are we ready to race?  
  
Baby Mario: No, I'm hungry.  
  
Daisy: You're also still sick, Baby.  
  
Baby Mario: Forget you Daisy, I'm racing this afternoon.  
  
Yoshi: Anxious, isn't he?  
  
Bumper: Of course.  
  
Peach felt Baby Mario's forehead.  
  
Peach: You're burning up, Baby. Go back to bed, you aren't going to race like this.  
  
Baby Mario: But Peach...  
  
Peach: No way. Fuchsia's going to race for you, while you get better.  
  
Mario: Listen Baby, I know you want to race, but I'm not going to let you if you're sick.  
  
Baby Mario: I said I want to race and I'm not leaving until I race Tip Tup for the next flag.  
  
Mario: What's the use, he's never going to learn? Well it's time you learned you lesson. Okay Baby, if you want to race, then I'm going to let you race.  
  
Princesses: No way, he's not racing.  
  
Mario: Ladies, I'm not changing my mind. If he wants to race so badly, then I'm going to let him.  
  
Tip Tup: You're going to let a sick baby race? What are you, crazy?  
  
Mario: No. But that's your problem since he's your rival Tip Tup. Are you afraid to race a baby?  
  
Tip Tup: (*\_/) I am not afraid to race anybody! Let's go kid.  
  
So Tip Tup and Baby mario were ready to go on the Royal Raceway. Everyone watch from the booths, the princesses weren't pleased.  
  
Peach: I'm never going to forgive you on this decision, Mario.  
  
Daisy: I agree.  
  
Mario: Sorry ladies, but I have to prove my point.  
  
Princesses: (\_/) And what point is that?!  
  
Mario: (U_U) "A hard head makes a soft bottom." Since he won't listen, he will learn the hard way.  
  
Jugem: Uh, you don't look so well squirt, are you sure you wouldn't want Fuchsia to race for you?  
  
Baby Mario: I'm fine. Now let's get this over with.  
  
Jugem: Okay. Well you know what's going on here, three laps and a flag. Are you ready Tip Tup.  
  
Tip Tup: I'm ready to show everyone that I've no fear for this baby.  
  
Jugem: Okay, then be careful, especially you squirt and start blazing' on the green light.  
  
When the green light sounded, both racers zoomed off. The race was close for the first five turns. When the second set of items came up, Baby Mario used a Super Boost to whip around the u-turn and head for the jump. Tip Tup answered back with his Speed Shield and took the lead as the two racers passed the first dash zone.  
  
Tip Tup: So far, so good. I'll give him some credit, for a sick little guy he doesn't have fear over his health. Mario was right after all, that baby does have melons.  
Tip Tup hit the jump, but he crashed into the mountain and Baby Mario took the lead. Around the next series of turns, his ailment was starting to get to him. Baby Mario: I feel so light-headed, like I'm floating on air. Maybe I should have let Fuchsia take this race. Come on man, focus... but how can I focus when I have to piss?  
  
Baby Mario continued to have his dizzy spells but managed to shake them off as he crossed his first lap and Tip Tup wasn't too far behind.  
  
Baby Mario: I can't hold it anymore, I gotta go. But I don't want to stop... I know.  
  
Baby Mario put his right foot on the gas and his right hand on the wheel, then while standing to the driver's side, he relieved himself while he was driving. {Isn't that a bitch?} Tip Tup saw he display of relief and was dumbfounded.  
  
Tip Tup: He can pee and drive at the same time? Now I've seen everything!  
everyone else was shocked about this too.  
  
Jugem: That little squirt.  
  
KT: Talk about taking a piss on royal property.  
  
Daisy: Yes, (stares at Mario) and I wonder where he gets it from...  
  
Mario: (!^_^) I can't imagine the thought of it.  
  
Toad: (!U_U) When Nature calls.....  
  
TT's eyes were covered by his hands.  
  
TT: Is he done being obscene yet?  
  
Bowser: (removing TT's hands) Quit acting like you've never seen a baby's dick before. {Nooooooo, I can't believe he said that. LOL}  
  
Yoshi: That is both twisted and wrong.  
  
Fuchsia: He's not as innocent as we think he is and that just proved it. {That reminds me of the last line of that Pepto Bismol commercial: "Because, you never know."}  
  
After relieving himself, Baby mario sat back into his kart and went back to racing. However, he passed out at the wheel on the third turn and fell into the drink.  
  
Mario: He's starting to learn now.  
Jugem pulled him out and Baby Mario's Time Boost helped him get back in place. {Lucky little shit}  
  
Diddy: When did he get that?  
  
Luigi: I don't know.  
  
Timber: I swear he gets all the luck.  
  
Fuchsia: No, that's his guardian angel.  
  
Timber & TT: Guardian angel my ass.  
  
The baby caught up to Tip Tup, who was a bit worried about him.  
  
Tip Tup: You really look bad, kid. Are you sure you can hang on for one more lap?  
  
Baby Mario: I don't need your sympathy. Just worry about the race.  
After the two hit the u-turn, Baby Mario Passed out at the wheel again, but luckily for him, he was in the middle lane. Tip Tup saw this and began to worry.  
  
Tip Tup: You can't go on... Hey kid, wake up!  
  
Baby Mario: ......  
  
[Tip Tup shrugged as he took the lead again off the jump and this time, he made it perfectly. As for Baby Mario, he landed with a bounce, which made him come to.] While conscious, he steered perfectly until the s-turn in which both racers fell into the drink, however, our little hero passed out again. He came to after Bobby pulled him out of the water.  
  
Bobby: Forget it kid, you're not racing anymore.  
  
Baby Mario: I can go one more lap, man. Just let me try...  
  
Bobby: Fine, but if this keeps up, I'm pulling you out of the race.  
  
Tip Tup: Ready when you are, kid.  
  
Baby Mario: (sniffle) Ready.  
  
Jugem: Okay, GO!  
  
The two left off at the s-turn and finished the lap. Now, the race was coming to an end and Baby Mario was pushing himself to finish his race. Stubborn, sick and seeing the chariots, Baby Mario decided to make himself endure for the last lap. He Picked up a Speed shield and saved it for his soon to come rainy day. The two racers were neck and neck, but Baby Mario passed out just before the first dash zone. He knew he couldn't go on, but he made himself endure his sickness and was rewarded when he came to. He managed to thwart a Slick that Tip Tup shot in front of him and made the jump, but Tip Tup hit his own weapon and he took a drink as his rival made it safely. Baby Mario was clear for the win and decided to blaze in glory, so he used his savored weapon. Once he came off the final turn, he passed out. his kart zoomed by, but Yoshi saw his pal was out cold. [Yoshi jumped from the booth and ran after the baby's speeding kart.]  
  
Mario: Yoshi wait!  
  
Yoshi: Can't.  
Yoshi knew how fast he was going and knew if he were to hit the wall, Baby mario was headed for the playground in the sky, and not in Sky World, mind you.  
  
Yoshi: I have to save him. Gotta' haul tail.  
  
Yoshi ran at full speed after the runaway kart. He managed to pull his friend out of the kart and dive to safety. When the kart hit the wall, it exploded and everyone was in shock. [Tip Tup had finally crossed the line and saw the fire that Jugem and Bobby were putting out and walked over to the people in the booths.]  
  
Tip Tup: Hey, is Baby Mario all right?  
  
Mario: I don't know. Yoshi ran after him in an attempt to save him.  
  
Timber: Look everybody, there's Yoshi.  
Yoshi was walking down the track, but he didn't make it back to his friends. He passed out after running after Baby Mario's kart, and the babe was on his back. Everyone sighed in relief as they rushed to the two good friends.  
  
Yoshi: Hey kid (huff, puff), are you awake?  
  
Baby Mario: Did I win?  
  
Yoshi: Yeah, but you've pushed yourself too hard man. Next time stay in bed.  
*  
  
[At the castle, Baby Mario was resting in his little bed with his Link Doll by his side and a compress on his head. Peach had the thermometer in her hand which read 112.]  
  
Peach: I hope you're happy, Baby. You won the race, but you almost lost your young life today.  
  
Baby Mario: I'm sorry that I worried you today.  
  
Peach: Just don't scare me like that again.  
  
Mario: Here are some popsicles for you Baby, eat up and break your fever.  
  
Baby Mario: Thank you Mario, for everything. I've learned my lesson today and believe me... I'm staying here until I'm fully recovered.  
  
Peach: At least now you won't be as stubborn as you are now.  
  
Baby Mario: (taking a pop) Yeah. Good night you guys, sleep well.  
  
Peach: You better eat all of those freezer pops too, Baby.  
  
Baby Mario: Don't worry, I will.  
[Peach and Mario closed the door]  
  
Peach: As much as I don't want to, I'm going to anyway. You told me so, Mario.  
  
Mario: I know. Maybe now you can have a little more faith in me.  
(Baby Mario sighed as he ate his pops)  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-1 MKR-3  
  
To be continued..... 


	5. Shadow comes to play

RACE WARS  
Part 4  
RACING JUSTICE  
  
It was a nice day for Team DKR as they practiced racing through the Darkmoon Caverns track. Diddy had decided to get an early jump on things since this was the next course for odds. But what they didn't know was that Toad and Yoshi were watching them, watching as if like hawks ready swoop and collect their prey.  
  
Toad: This seems like a tough course huh?  
  
Yoshi: Nah. It couldn't be easier, but the loops confuse me.  
  
Toad: Yeah, I know. I mean, how come they don't fire weapons while going on the loops?  
  
Yoshi: Those loops are like our dash zones, they're too busy boosting through than firing weapons. Either that, or they don't want to risk firing and falling off the loop altogether.  
  
Toad: That makes sense. Hmm, I wonder what it's like to zoom through a loop like that? It looks like fun, as well as dangerous. Oh well, I'll find out later today.  
  
Yoshi: Hey Toad, you wanna' race after they're done?  
  
Toad: That sounds cool, besides, we'll have a little knowledge on the course before the race comes. That's not a bad idea, Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi: Of course not.  
MKR  
  
[At Peach's castle, our racing princess comes in to check on Baby Mario.] Peach: Baby, are you feeling (cuts self off)--  
Baby Mario is sound asleep in his bed with his Link Doll by his side. In an attempt not to wake him, Peach walks over to the tray table she set up this morning and removed the tray which had a plate, silverware and some popsicle wrappers on it. She lifted up the tray without making any noise and headed for the door. {Watch her trip. I bet she's gonna' fall.} On the way out, the fork fell from the tray, but Peach caught it in her hand.  
  
Peach: (whisper) Whew.  
  
Peach almost made it out the door...  
  
Baby Mario: Could you get me a cup of orange juice please?  
  
Peach: No problem. Are you feeling any better by the way?  
  
Baby Mario: A little bit, but I need some more rest.  
  
Peach: Okay Baby. If you need me, you know what to do.  
  
Baby Mario: I know.  
  
Baby Mario went to sleep again. Outside of the castle, Fuchsia and Daisy have a chat.  
  
Daisy: So Fuchsia, what color hair does Toad have, if he has any?  
  
Fuchsia: Huh, what was that supposed to mean?  
  
Daisy: You 'shrooms do have hair, right?  
  
Fuchsia: Of course we do, and I'm not a Shroom. Mind you.  
  
Daisy: Don't change the subject. does Toad have hair or doesn't he?  
  
Fuchsia: Yes he has hair and so do I. Now, to answer your question, Toad's hair is black.  
  
Daisy: And what color is your hair?  
  
Fuchsia: You tell me. (takes off her hat)  
  
Fuchsia's hair falls behind her hair and rests comfortably at her hind and not a single strand goes any farther than her waist. Daisy walks around Fuchsia to see if anything is wrong.  
  
Daisy: What a NICE shade of brown you have.  
  
Fuchsia: Ah, tinky tinky. {How does she know Frabian?}  
Peach walks out of the castle and notices Daisy circling a fine head of hair. She wasn't sure who it was, until she saw the red dress and the hat.  
  
Peach: Fuchsia, is that YOU?  
  
Fuchsia: (turns to Peach) You didn't think it was Toad, did you? -_^  
  
Peach: How do you fit all of that hair in that hat of yours?  
  
Fuchsia: I can put a lot in this hat, including my hair.  
  
Peach: Whoa. I wonder how much exactly...  
(scene shift to Bowser's castle)  
  
Poppi: Hip, Hip where are you? Don't make me look for you. Come on, show me where you are, or tell me at least.  
  
Poppi came over to see Hip, but Bowser wanted to talk to her again. He didn't say why he wanted to see the purple haired, red shelled spiny, but then again, Bowser doesn't have to. Poppi looked around the castle to look for Hip.  
  
Poppi: Maybe Kootie Pie will know... Well, let's go find out.  
Poppi ran to Kootie Pie's room to find Emi was talking to her.  
  
Kootie Pie: Poppi my dear. My younger brothers are out right now, but you can always wait here for them.  
  
Poppi: Where's your dad at, he wanted to talk to me, you know?  
  
Kootie Pie: He went racing right now. Have a seat, enjoy yourself. You know I like having you two around.  
  
Poppi: Okay.  
  
Poppi pulled the stool by Kootie Pie's shelf and sat down next to Emi.  
  
Emi: Sit away from me.  
  
Poppi: Is something wrong?  
  
Emi: You know I don't like messing up my placement.  
  
Poppi: (moving away) You and your... whatever the heck it's called.  
  
Kootie Pie: Feng Shue.  
  
Poppi: How do you spell that anyway?  
Meanwhile, DK and Taj discuss how the contest is going.  
  
Taj: You know, you didn't discuss how many flags will have to be won for the contest to end.  
  
DK: Hello, there are twenty-four areas in the contest, two teams and one kind of flag that there are plenty of, you do the math.  
  
Taj: (@_@) Uh...  
  
DK: Don't worry about it. I want to make sure that this event is a good one, you know what I mean, right?  
  
Taj: Uh... of course.  
  
DK: Well then, it's agreed.  
DKR  
  
After the DKR racers were done and having a break, Toad and Yoshi hop in their carts and headed onto the track. [The two racers were ready at the starting line, staring down the first turn.]  
  
Toad: You ready to play, Yoshi?  
  
Yoshi: Whenever you are.  
  
Darion: Good, I'm glad to hear it.  
Suddenly, Darion drove up and stopped right next to Yoshi.  
  
Toad: What do you want?  
  
Darion: I'm just here to practice, guys. Nothing personal, just practice.  
  
Yoshi: Can you practice after us?  
  
Darion: You act like I'm superior to you? Thank you, I'm flattered.  
  
Toad: Is this from when we first met?  
  
Darion: No, but we'll race soon enough for a flag or two eventually.  
  
Toad: Let's just get this show on the road all right?  
  
Darion, Toad and Yoshi were raring to and when the word went out, the three racers zipped off. Darion was one turn ahead of the other racers and his lead increased. Toad was able to keep within a couple of seconds from Darion, but Yoshi was far behind. At the end of the first lap, Darion had a two second lead on Toad and Yoshi was a second behind him. By the tunnel of the second lap, all three racers were neck and neck.  
  
Darion: It's about time you two put in some serious racing.  
  
Yoshi: Someone's feeling a little overconfident.  
  
Darion: NO, I take things seriously when it comes to racing, that's all.  
  
Toad: Whatever.  
  
Darion: And what does that mean?  
  
Toad: It means you're too serious.  
  
Darion: Fine, then I guess I'll have to toy with you then.  
When the three racers exited the tunnel and went around the bend, Darion had a couple seconds on Yoshi and a second on Toad. Yoshi decided to turn inside just before the next tunnel, which was a smart idea. However, it was also foolish since laser missiles were hitting the inside lane and one of them collided with Yoshi's kart. His pride was injured, but he got out safely.  
  
Yoshi: Drat!  
  
Toad and Darion were going through the first loop. Toad didn't like the loops, seeing as he almost lost his hat on the previous lap, so he held onto it.  
  
Darion: (^_^) Hey Toad, hat's off to ya'.  
  
Toad: (*\_/) That ain't funny!  
[The two racers left for the second loop when was going through the first one.]  
  
Yoshi: Man these loops are fun, I just wish I wasn't this far behind though. Curse whoever put those lasers there.  
  
Team DKR went back to the lobby, and saw something on the monitors.  
  
TT: Well, would you look at that?  
  
Pipsy: My honey's winning against two of those MKR racers.  
  
Krunch: He's whipping' their asses. Go X, whip them good.  
Halfway through the final lap, Darion had a big lead on Toad.  
  
Toad: How do you catch this guy? Come on Toad, focus.  
  
Darion: Silly mushroom man, you can't beat me. This run is mine and there's nothing you can do to stop me!  
  
Darion had this race won even though it was practice. Toad was still trying to catch him, while Yoshi had given up. Even though he knew he was the last one to finish, Yoshi put his heart into this race and decided to finish anyway. At the end of the race, Darion was greeted by his teammates at the line. He drove out of the way and near his allies.  
  
Darion: Hmmm, 2:11:23 huh? I beat my fastest time by two-tenths of a second, with the crash at the first loop.  
  
TT: Not bad.  
  
Darion: Am I ever?  
  
Krunch: Not really.  
  
Toad crossed in a time of 2:16 and Yoshi at 2:21:55.  
  
Yoshi: I may have lost this practice run, but at least I had fun going through those loops.  
  
TT: You know Yoshi, if you would've come in a little faster, You might have been able to qualify to race me.  
  
Yoshi: Phooey. That was my first time and that was okay.  
As all of the racers left the track, TT showed Toad and Yoshi the race time for the course.  
  
Toad: Hmf, 2:20 to meet TT, TT's time is 2:12:05, X's time is 2:11:23. So what does this have to do with me?  
  
TT: There's my time, rival, and you're still a bit too slow. There's X's just made time, and you're still a bit too slow. Should either of you go up against either myself or X here, you will lose.  
  
Yoshi: Whatever.  
  
Darion: Go hit the showers boys, you look tired.  
(Darion and TT laugh heartily)  
  
Toad: Just remember which team has more flags.  
  
Yoshi: You guys lost already.  
  
TT: Maybe, but the hands of time have changed directions. Enjoy your lead while you can, ):-D because you won't have it for long. Hah, hahahahaha!  
  
Toad & Yoshi: (!-_-) Weird... just weird. That was flat out weird.  
  
MKR  
  
Poppi: Okay, see ya' later!  
  
Emi: Bye!  
  
Bowser: See ya' girls, keep my young boys on this side! Even though I still don't like you, I have to put up with you. At least they will keep my boys on this side. Who knows, maybe I might change how I feel about them.  
  
KT: Hey Koopa, come on. We got a race to win and you're looking like you won a million coins. Stop daydreaming and let's go.  
Meanwhile at the castle, Peach and crew discuss what's going on.  
  
Peach: Has anyone seen Toad and Yoshi?  
  
Fuchsia: No not me, I haven't seen him all day.  
  
Daisy: I saw Yoshi earlier, but he said he went to see Yoshi Quake. {Ah, mellow Yellow}  
  
Mario: Let's call him.  
  
So the phone rang over at the Rainbow House and Yoshi answered it, but not the Yoshi you expected.  
  
Thunder: Hey folks, it's Pink Lightning here.  
  
Mario: Where's Quake?  
  
Thunder: He went out right now, what's up?  
  
Mario: We're looking for Yoshi.  
  
Thunder: Oh, he said he had to practice and that he was gonna' be okay.  
  
Mario: Thanks a lot, see ya'.  
  
Thunder: Are you still on for the chili cookout?  
  
Mario: I don't know yet, but keep me posted.  
  
[Mario hangs up the phone and shrugged, then he turned to his teammates.]  
  
Peach: So where is he?  
  
Mario: Probably on the-  
Suddenly, there are raps on the castle door. Fuchsia answers it and Bowser and KT walk in.  
  
Mario: What took you so long?  
  
Bowser: I was chatting to the girlfriends of my sons.  
  
Daisy: Bowser, a father figure. What's the world coming to?  
  
Bowser: (*-_-) That one I'll let slide by, (mockingly) but I caught your limo driver and he's calling in sick today, Miss Daisy.  
  
Daisy: (*-_-) Ha, ha, ha. Clap, clap.  
  
KT: Look, we have a few things to do right now, so let's head over to the other side and get this race over with.  
  
Mario: We are trying to figure out where two of our racers are, KT.  
  
KT: (looks around) Toad and Yoshi are waiting for us on the other side. Now let's get a move on.  
DKR  
  
Conker is outside of Berri's room holding a tray with chicken soup in the bowl. Darion sees this and comes to lend a hand.  
  
Darion: What's wrong Conker?  
  
Conker: Ah, Berri's got a cold.  
  
Darion: Too bad.  
  
Conker: Yeah, I know. Darion, will you race in the caverns for odds right now?  
  
Darion: (:D) I thought you'd never ask?...  
  
At Darkmoon Caverns, the racers were in their karts and were raring to go.  
  
Taj: Listen up everybody. Now, the D4 went rainbow this time, so this is a free-for-all Odds race. We have already selected the racers for this event, and by popular demand, this will be BOMBSAWAY!  
  
Timber: BOMBSAWAY huh? That means missiles.  
  
Taj: Don't get too trigger happy, Timber.  
  
KT: Yeah, calm down Blasto.  
  
Taj: And for this race only, the Hyper Missile and the 10pak Missile weapons are back in.  
  
Yoshi: Yes!  
  
DK: Anyway, we've souped the stakes this time. The winner gets to choose whom he or she will race and race against in the Flag race later on this evening head to head. Here are the six racers selected for this event: X, Fuchsia, KT, Drumstick, um.... ooh....  
  
Diddy & Mario: Say it, already.  
  
DK: Well, it's the leaders of both sides.  
  
Luigi: Mario and Diddy are the other two racers?  
  
Taj: Yup.  
Both team captains eye each other with burning ambition.  
*  
  
Everyone is in shock about the decision of the last two racers, since they are the captains of both sides. You can feel the electricity flowing between these two and the heat of the fire surrounding them. {It's about damn time} [Both leer solidly down his rival's eye, but neither racer flinches.]  
  
Mario: Well, well, well, isn't this an odd twist of fate?  
  
Diddy: Odd indeed. I finally can see what you're made of.  
  
Mario: Likewise, Diddy. So are you thinking what I'm thinking?  
  
Diddy: Maybe... if you're thinking what I'm thinking.  
  
Mario: I am...  
  
Diddy & Mario: Someone's team is about to get an upset.  
  
Taj: This is gonna' get interesting.  
  
DK: Yeah. Both of them are psyched to go, now more than ever.  
  
Mario: Hey Taj, DK?  
  
Judges: What?  
  
Mario: Diddy agrees with me on this one, so let me and him race this Odds Event alone. You know how much I would love to show your nephew how to race Donkey Kong.  
  
Darion: NO WAY!  
  
Diddy & Mario: (*\_/ turning to Darion) What do you mean, "No Way!"?  
  
Darion: If you two want to go head to head for the flag later this eve, then one, or both of you had better beat me first. (electricity in eyes) I waited too long just to race against you MKR drivers and I finally get an event to do so, but I'm not going to let you.. or you ruin that now. And if anyone, regardless of what side you're on, has a problem with it..... bring it!  
  
Taj: This is gonna' get very interesting.  
  
DK: Oh yes, very interesting indeed.  
  
Now the six racers were finally ready to roll as they lined up horizontally behind the line. [Diddy, KT and Darion were in front and Mario, Fuchsia and Drumstick were in back.] All of the racers were thinking about where they would race their rivals at.  
  
DK: Okay people, this a traditional three lap race and the winner chooses the Flag. Racers ready? GO!  
And off they went. Darion, Diddy and Mario were head up going into the tunnel.  
  
Darion: Come and get it boys.  
(Darion went off the zipper wailing his 10pak, causing both leaders to wipe out.)  
  
Mario: Lucky shot.  
  
Fuchsia and the others passed them by as the two captains came in gear. Meanwhile, Darion was heading into the next tunnel with a Bouncy in hand. As he passed through the item box, he fired his weapon and it bounced and smacked Fuchsia's kart, making her crash into the right wall.  
  
Fuchsia: Boy this guy has a grudge.  
Drumstick passed her as he went into the bend.  
  
Drumstick: It may seem impossible, but I'm going to try to take pole. Easier said than done though, but a Hyper Missile will be needed.  
  
In the booths, the judges and the other racers were watching how things are going.  
  
Luigi: Boy, Racer X is really pissed Pipsy. I don't know what's gotten into him.  
  
Pipsy: His pride was broken, and now he's going to mend it back together again.  
  
Toad: ...I have to go.  
  
Peach: Toad, why are you leaving?  
  
Toad: I don't feel so well, excuse me.  
  
Luigi: What are we supposed to tell Fuchsia?  
  
Toad: Tell her I went to get some air.  
(Toad exits the booths and drives back to the lobby)  
  
Luigi: I hope he's okay... (Peach nods)  
  
[Toad leaves Future Fun Land and heads back to his side, but when he gets outside, there is an eclipse and the light surrounds Toad.]  
  
?: It finally happened, didn't it?  
  
Toad: No, not yet.  
  
?: Don't fight it anymore Toad, let me take care of it.  
  
Toad: I'm fine, I can do this by myself.  
  
?: Isn't that what Baby Mario said?  
  
Toad: He was sick.  
  
?: Don't make excuses, Toad.  
  
Toad: ......  
  
?: You know how to summon me.... or did you forget?  
  
Toad: I didn't forget.  
  
?: Good.  
  
Toad: It's all right, I can handle this.  
  
?: Are you done lying to yourself yet?  
  
Toad: What makes you think I'm lying?  
  
?: It's quite obvious...  
  
Toad drove off and went to the other side and nothing changed.  
  
?: Why do you run from me? You know you can't run from me, so why even bother?  
  
Toad: I'm all right, now stop bothering me.  
  
?: Get the sand.  
  
Toad: I said I don't need you right now.  
  
?: And I said get the sand.  
  
Toad: (sigh) ...No.  
  
?: You can't do this by your own will, Toad. You and I both know that, so why don't you just admit it?  
  
Toad: Because I can do this, now leave me alone!  
  
?: When you're done lying to yourself and you're ready to admit it, let me know... But until then, keep trying to stomach your own emotions.  
  
The phenomenon ended for now...  
  
Toad: I know this can be done by me and not him, I just have to focus. That's been my problem since practice, I haven't been focusing. Maybe he and Yoshi are right after all... Okay, I give... (U_U) I'll let you try.  
  
?: Of course you will.  
  
Meanwhile, Darion is wiping the floor with the other racers. [Darion enters the second loop and no one seems to follow him.]  
  
Darion: What a joke. This race is in the bag... and the flag.  
Darion won the race and everybody was here to greet him.  
  
Taj: Not a bad run, X. You beat your fastest time by a hundredth of a second.  
  
Darion: Of course. Now I have a few words to say now.  
  
DK: Go ahead.  
  
Darion: Since this run was a joke to me, I find that our next race will be better, since a flag is at stake. The Flag Race will take place here in Darkmoon Caverns this evening and hopefully, things won't be a joke like this time. I haven't figured out whom I choose to race yet, but Mario isn't the lucky contestant. By the time the flag comes, I hope to have decided who I wish to race me. (leaving) Good day.  
  
MKR  
  
After the race, all of the MKR racers headed back to Peach's castle to eat and have some drink.  
  
Mario: I can't believe I lost.  
  
Luigi: Don't feel bad Mario, Diddy didn't win either.  
  
Fuchsia: Where is Toad at you guys?  
  
Toad: I'm right here Fuchsia.  
[Fuchsia turned around to see Toad holding a big clear chalice with red thick liquid in it. Toad sipped the liquid and sat down in the chair.]  
  
Mario: I didn't know you drank wine, Toad.  
  
Toad: This isn't wine.  
  
Luigi: Then what is it?  
  
Toad: You don't want to know.  
  
Mario Bros.: Just tell us.  
  
Toad: Fine... I'm drinking my own blood. (everyone else moved back) I told you so.  
  
KT: Why are you drinking your own blood?  
  
Toad: Wouldn't you drink your own blood that came out of your body?  
  
KT: Yeah, but not like that. I mean, this is the first time we saw you drinking your own blood... This isn't like you.  
  
Luigi: I thought you went to get some fresh air?  
  
Toad: I did, but I accidentally got poisoned, so I drank antidote, but the blood in my left arm here (shows the cotton swab) wasn't being neutralized, so I took a needle and bled the poisonous blood from my arm. A good two and a half pints mind you, then I filtered it clean and chilled it and now I'm drinking it.  
  
Yoshi: How did you filter your blood?  
  
Toad: The way Yoshi Power told me.  
  
Daisy: That's the purple one, right?  
  
Yoshi: Yeah, but where did you get the sand?  
  
Mario: Sand?  
  
Yoshi: Yes. It's an old trick that was done in ancient times. People who had dirty blood filtered it with clean sand, however had to stop the heart to do this and after the purification, the blood was retransfused into the person's body.  
  
KT: And what color is clean sand?  
  
Yoshi: White. Anyway, they never drank it Toad.  
  
Toad: So what? It's going in me and that's all that counts. {I hope no one gets sick over this}  
  
Fuchsia: (!-_-) Great, my boyfriend's a Vampire Mushroom.  
  
Toad: No, but if you want me to bite your neck and suck on it-  
  
Fuchsia: No, no, no, you don't have to do that. (Toad smiles)  
  
Bowser: You know what mushroom? I don't say this a lot, but you're starting to freak me out.  
  
DK: (walking in) Hey you guys.  
  
Mario: Hey Donkey Kong.  
  
Toad: What happened since I left?  
  
DK: Racer X won the race and wants to race for the flag in Darkmoon Caverns.  
  
Toad: Did he say who he wanted to race against?  
  
Mario: He doesn't want to race me, that's for sure.  
  
DK: He said that he would tell us tonight, so we'll find out then.  
  
Mario: Well, I'll stay here tonight while you all go ahead and race.  
  
Toad: I gotta' go.  
  
Fuchsia: Where are you going?  
  
Toad: To practice some more, just in case he wants to race against me for the flag tonight. See ya' later. (exits)  
  
DK: (after Toad is gone) What was he drinking?  
  
Mario: His own filtered blood from his left arm.  
  
DK: Fuchsia, is he getting any at night?  
  
Fuchsia: I only had sex with him twice, Donkey Kong.  
  
DK: But is he getting any at night?  
  
Fuchsia: And what does not getting any have to do with Toad drinking his own blood?  
  
Mario: Guys do unspeakable things when there's a lack of sex.  
  
Yoshi: You mean like when you dumped your load on the back of Daisy's favorite statue? {I'm crying here}  
  
Daisy: ..What did you do?  
  
Yoshi: He was letting his tensions blow away on the back of your favorite statue.  
  
Mario: (!U_U) You can't prove it...  
  
Yoshi: Here Daisy, come look it this.  
Daisy walks over to Yoshi and he hands a picture to her face side down. Daisy looks at the picture and instantly gets enraged.  
  
Daisy: Mario Mario, explain yourself (shows picture to everyone)!  
  
Everyone is turning their heads.  
  
KT: Whoa, turn it back around!  
  
Waluigi: Ah man, that is sick!  
  
Peach: At least he doesn't get horny off of his mother's lingerie like you do, Waluigi. {Okay, I'm cutting the rest of this part.}  
(Nightfall)  
  
Toad is in the mountains, holding the bag of sand which filtered his blood. He begins to pour it out in the form of a circle and stands in it.  
  
?: Are you done drinking yet?  
  
Toad: Hold your horses, will ya'? I'm almost done.  
[Toad pulls out his 'Bloody Mary' and drinks the last of it.]  
  
?: It's about time.  
  
Toad: Growing impatient I see?  
  
?: Don't mock me.  
  
Toad: Stop complaining. Now where's the moonlight, you know I'm supposed to be exposed to that right now?  
  
?: Whenever you are ready to summon, I will shine the moonlight.  
  
Toad: (takes a quick breath and exhales) Okay, I'm ready.  
  
?: You do remember the words, right?  
  
Toad: Of course I didn't forget them.  
  
?: Good. Now whenever you're ready...  
  
[Toad is now exposed to moonlight, ready to summon his ally in an open stance and holding out his arms. He begins to chant.] Here's how it went. But keep in mind that Toad is saying this as his line.  
Toad: (summoning with closed eyes)  
  
Unseen by day, all seen by night,  
  
None can escape the Shadow's light.  
  
His sight can see across the land.  
  
None can escape his reaching hand.  
  
Appear my Shadow, I summon thee  
  
to do my bidding for me... "Race Racer X and take a flag for the MKR side, and do not stop until you have done so." {Interesting bidding, Toad}  
  
Powered by moonlight,  
  
Combats in darkness,  
  
Summon the Shadow!!  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The sand that surrounded Toad was ignited with black flames and circled him, then the flames engulfed Toad's body. And from the flames came Toad's Shadow. The flames died down and Shadow stepped forward.  
  
?: Here is the night and there went the day, now the Shadow comes out to play. (evil laugh)  
*  
DKR  
  
It was now time for the Flag Race here in Darkmoon Caverns. Darion was with the judges and the other MKR racers. [Darion looks around to see if Mario is here, which he is not and is pleased.]  
  
Darion: Okay everyone, I know that you're all wondering which one of you do I which to take a flag from. But before I say it, I'm going to tell you about the flag's race. It's simple, a traditional three lap race with no weapons. The only thing to help you is your skilled driving technique. Now, since it really doesn't matter who I'm going to race, I'm calling out any one of you.  
  
Luigi: Can you do that?  
  
Darion: Of course I can do that this time, so which victim wants to go up against me? Which of you feels lucky? If you're in the mood, step forward.  
  
Peach: Count me out. It's not that I'm nothing without my weapons, but this sounds to weird for me.  
  
Fuchsia: I'll race next time.  
  
Darion: What about you, Yoshi? Do you want to run with me?  
  
Yoshi: Yes, I wish to run with you... but that will come in due time.  
  
KT: That's what I was going to say.  
  
Darion: What's wrong, are you chicken?  
  
KT: No.  
  
Wario: Well, I'll admit it. I'm a joke to you on this course, so I'm not even going to try.  
  
Waluigi: Same here.  
  
Darion: And what about you, Bowser?  
  
Bowser: No weapons, no dice.  
  
Darion: Hmf, it figures. Really? Well judges, since none of them want to race me, you might as well hand the flag over to--What's that sound?  
  
DK & KT: What sound?  
  
Fuchsia: I hear it too and it's familiar.  
The sound drew closer and then it came to a full stop.  
  
?: Not so fast, Racer X. Someone is here to race you, but the person isn't behind them. No, he's behind you.  
(Darion turned around to see Shadow)  
  
Darion: Is that... Toad?  
  
?: No, I am not Toad. I am Shadow.  
  
Fuchsia: He's ba-ack.  
  
(Shadow walks over to Fuchsia and places his hand under her chin)  
  
?: Long time no see Fuchsia, how have you been?  
  
Fuchsia: I'm okay Shadow, what about you?  
  
?: Lost. (faces Darion) So, what right do you have here by calling these racers victims? Have you no honor, or was that destroyed after the first race you-  
Darion took a swing at Shadow, but he blocked it and knocked Darion's hand away.  
  
?: What's wrong, was I right? Or maybe I insulted you.... or both?  
  
Darion: Take off that black veil, I want to see your face.  
  
?: Are you sure that you want me to remove it?  
  
Darion: Are you afraid to show what's behind it?  
  
?: (removing veil) Never.  
  
All of the other racers saw what was underneath Shadow's black veil, nothing. Then he put the veil back on as if he didn't remove it at all.  
  
Taj: Uh, Shadow, where is your face?  
  
?: Since when does a shadow have a face?  
  
KT: They don't.  
  
?: And Neither do I.  
  
Taj: Then how come we can...  
  
?: Telepathy. You are hearing the thoughts of mine that I want you to hear. You should know that shadows don't speak.  
  
KT: Shadow puppets do.  
  
?: Fool, the puppet speaks, not the shadow! Does darkness talk? No, but darkness thinks. And it is what I think that is of importance. As for you my friendly foe... I know who you are.  
  
Darion: So?  
  
?: Some racing honor you have, calling fellow competitors victims. W would be ashamed if she were alive now.  
  
Darion: (O_O) How did he know that W was a woman?  
  
?: I told you, I know who you are... and what you've become. I know about your family line and can easily get into your head and under your skin. But psychological trauma of your roots isn't the name of the game here, racing for a flag is. Are you ready to duel?  
  
Darion: Yes.  
  
?: Well I am not. You owe these people an apology from verbal mistreatment. You know that none of your kin has ever done this kind of behavior, it was dishonorable to them.  
  
Darion: You're right. Sorry about what I said earlier you guys, I was just mad.  
  
Luigi: We forgive you, but try to find another way to deal with your anger.  
  
Darion: Right.  
  
?: Good, now let's duel.  
  
Shadow and Darion were lined up head to head and ready to go.  
  
?: Remember after this race tonight, that you have met someone who can match you.  
  
Darion: We shall see.  
  
DK: Remember you two, this is for a flag. Battlers ready? GO!  
And off they went. Around the first turn and off the zipper into the second turn, this match was a close one.  
  
Darion: You're not a bad racer, Shadow.  
  
?: If you like how I race, then you should see me fight.  
(scene change)  
  
Luigi: Fuchsia, can Shadow actually bet Racer X?  
  
Fuchsia: I don't really know Luigi, this is the first time I've seen him race before. He'll win in combat though, but racing is unanswered.  
  
Yoshi: Looks like we're gonna' find out folks.  
Out in the lobby, TT watches the race.  
  
TT: This Shadow guy is good. I.. I never seen anyone race like this against him before. The two racers are matching each other turn for turn.  
  
?: Did you expect less TT?  
  
TT: I can't really say... How are you-  
  
?: You weren't listening were you? I guess not. Well, if you'll excuse me, I have a race to win, so just sit back and enjoy the show.  
  
Darion and Shadow were really going up. The only time there was a lead was after going through the loop, but by the end of the second loop, things were back to draw again. Already, one lap was over and the match was tied.  
  
?: No I haven't had enough yet and neither have you.  
  
Darion: How did you know I was going to ask you that?  
  
?: Just call it a hunch.  
[both racers enter the first tunnel]  
  
?: You know, TT is watching us out in the lobby and is impressed that this race is actually going this close.  
  
Darion: You think? {I was going to say that.}  
  
?: Don't be a smarty pants.  
  
DK: This might be a draw again.  
  
Peach: I believe so too. I mean, first Toad tied with TT in Darkwater Beach to start things off and now this.  
  
Luigi: Too bad Mario isn't watching this.  
  
Mario: Who said that?  
  
Peach and Yoshi: (turn around) Mario!  
  
Mario: Looks like Shadow must've had a prep talk with Toad.  
  
Yoshi: It looks like they practiced at the same time.  
  
Fuchsia: Yoshi if you only knew...  
  
Both racers were heading into the first loop, but this time around, Shadow took the slight lead just like Darion did on the previous lap.  
  
?: So has play time ended yet?  
  
Darion: Wait until we cross the line.  
  
?: Come on, try to hurt me now...  
  
Now into the final lap, both racers were necked out more than ever. They were even hitting the zippers at or near the same time.  
  
KT: Taj, how is this possible? {that's what I want to know}  
  
Taj: What do you mean?  
  
KT: Two racers can't zip like they're doing now on road zippers, can they?  
  
Taj: If they hit only the corners yes. But even if there is room in the slightest way, two racers can zip at the same time.  
  
Mario: This is kind of hard to believe.  
  
Bowser: This is a good race. Hey Mario, if Diddy and his running mates are watching this like we are, Diddy's probably thinking how much trouble he's in.  
  
Fuchsia: What a race... and to think they're already at the first loop.  
  
As the two racers went through the loop, victory was the only thing in their heads. As they entered the second loop, it looked like it was going to be another draw, but the difference was in the exit. And when the two crossed the line, everyone was in for a big surprise.  
  
Taj: Not a bad race.  
  
DK: Yeah, that was one that left its mark.  
  
Darion: What are you doing here Mario?  
  
Mario: Watching, X. I have to say it, but that was a draw.  
  
?: No, it wasn't.  
  
Fuchsia: What do you mean it wasn't?  
  
?: I personally timed this race. (throws a stopwatch to Darion) This is your time.  
  
Darion: Another record breaker. 2:10 flat Taj.  
  
?: Yes, but here is my time.  
  
Yoshi took the other stopwatch from Shadow and saw his time in shock.  
  
Yoshi: No way.  
  
Darion: What's his time?  
  
?: It's full proof.  
  
Yoshi: 2:10:01. The difference is a hundredth of a second.  
  
?: Yes. Now you know what this means... it means that you won the race, but just barely. But a win's a win to a racer. (extends his right hand) Our rematch is going to be a good one, X. A damn good one.  
  
Darion: Yes it is.  
  
The two racers shake hands. TT is outside the lobby and leaves to tell Diddy of the race results.  
  
TT: That Shadow fella' is really fast. And to make things worse, he's taken the place of Toad. If he intends to stay for a while, then our team is in a world of trouble. I better tell the others right away.  
  
?: You do that TT, but while you're doing so, remember that Darion Swiss now has met his match. Shadow's in town now, and those hands of time have once again shifted. Hah, hahahahaha!  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-2 MKR-3  
To be continued..... 


	6. speed demons face off

RACE WARS  
PART 5  
BREAK POINT  
  
3:00 a.m. in the morning. All is quiet in the Mushroom Kingdom, however, there is one soul who is awake and he wanders around like a Church Mouse on Sunday. On top of Toad's house where Fuchsia sleeps quietly, Shadow sits on the roof. Thinking... pondering... wondering...  
  
?: Sometimes I wonder what I go through when I'm summoned. I guess this is one of the many "feelings" I get. Hmf. This thought of feeling, emotion, why is this happening now? I guess this is a setback. No matter, never matter, it is irrelevant. All that matters is that I complete my mission that I was sent to do by Toad. (stands up) So, there is someone who can finally put a match up against me... it's about time. To think that I used to wonder if there ever was a match for me? Now I have found one, but is this "match" in mine, or his favor? I will find out as the days go by.  
  
[Shadow jumps from the roof and lands taking a knee, then walks inside the house where Fuchsia sits at the table, as if waiting for him.]  
  
?: Why are you up at this hour?  
  
Fuchsia: I can ask the same question...  
  
?: The Lost can never sleep, not until they are Lost no more.  
  
Fuchsia: How did you get lost?  
  
?: No matter. I am not Found yet, so I am still Lost. You need your sleep, so rest. Rest because you can, rest because you are Found.  
  
Fuchsia: Do you confuse yourself Shadow, because I'm confused right now?  
  
?: You are confused because you will never understand.  
  
Fuchsia: How come I will never understand?  
  
?: Because you aren't Lost like I am.  
  
Fuchsia: You aren't lost, but confused.  
  
?: Why does this matter to you?  
  
Fuchsia: I just want to be your friend...  
  
?: Friend... someone whom I can trust... Friendship.  
  
Fuchsia: Where is Toad?  
  
?: On vacation. He went to see his sister, Tracy. Worry not though, he's in good health.  
  
Fuchsia: Why did he leave?  
  
?: He did not say. Maybe someone has become Lost...  
  
Fuchsia: How does that happen?  
  
?: You will find out later, but for now, be happy that you are Found and are of The Found. {I get it now...}  
  
Fuchsia: Stay with me tonight, at least try to sleep.  
  
?: Fine, if it will make you happy...  
  
So, Fuchsia went to sleep in her bed. Shadow was in the same bed, but wasn't in the covers with Fuchsia. He lay there on top of them.  
  
Toad: How are things going?  
  
?: A minor delay in plans, but it's no problem.  
  
Toad: Take all the time you need.  
  
?: Understood.  
  
Toad: Remember, you have to also guard Fuchsia while I'm away.  
  
?: I know. Tell me, why did you need me that one fateful day?  
  
Toad: I do not know why. Maybe it was fate...  
  
?: What is this "Fate" that you speak of?  
  
Toad: It is one's journey, a destiny as it were. Everyone, Found and Lost has a fate. Depending on what you do with your fate may determine how long you will be Lost like you are...  
  
?: Toad, you are the only one in this realm that understands me.  
  
Toad: That is because I was once Lost like you, but I found my way back. Now I rejoin The Found as if I never left them.  
  
?: I see.  
  
Toad: Worry not ally, you will find your way back just like I have. It will take time, but you will get there.  
  
{For those of you who are confused, let me explain. Shadow is of The Lost, meaning that he is dead, but his spirit roams between realms until he crosses over or finds his way back to his body and comes back to life. You and I are apart of The Found; those who are alive or have crossed over. Now that this confusion has been cleared up, let's continue reading.}  
  
In the morning at breakfast, Mario and the gang was eating waffles including the fully recovered Baby Mario.  
  
KT: Hey, thanks a lot for inviting me to breakfast, Peach.  
  
Peach: No problem, KT.  
  
Yoshi: (walking in) 'Ey you guys, mornin' to ya'.  
  
Peach: Morning Yoshi. How did you sleep?  
  
Yoshi: Good. (sits next to Baby Mario) I see you're doing better kid?  
  
Baby Mario: It'll take more than that to put me down for the count.  
  
Mario: So, was Bowser happy about you staying the night over there?  
  
Yoshi: No, but Kootie Pie was.  
  
Birdo: Do we have to start this early in the morning?  
  
Yoshi: Now why weren't you like that when she was qualifying to be one of our sub drivers?  
  
Birdo: Peach told me to be nice. Ooh I hate that turtle, no offense KT.  
  
KT: None taken.  
  
Yoshi: You know what makes me feel good?  
  
Birdo: (*-_-) Don't start Yoshi, I don't want to break another plate.  
  
Peach: That reminds me Birdo, you still owe me.  
  
Birdo: I said I'll pay you back, sheesh!  
  
Yoshi: I just love a good cat fight.  
  
Birdo: (*-_-) Peach, make him stop.  
  
Peach: Yoshi!  
  
Yoshi: I didn't say who the cats were, did I?  
  
Peach: I don't care, I don't want any more broken plates.  
[All of a sudden, Kootie Pie walks in the door and closes it behind her.]  
  
KT: I don't think you should worry about plates right now, m'lady.  
  
Baby Mario: If it isn't the turtle that wants some...  
  
Peach: Baby, that goes for you too.  
[Birdo had a fist balled up under the table.]  
  
Birdo: A beat down a day, brings the the doc right away.  
Yoshi noticed the fist that Birdo made and has an evil thought.  
  
Yoshi: Time for your test, Birdo. Kootie, babe, sit next to me. Kootie Pie: (^_^) Okay. (Kootie Pie sits next Yoshi and places her arm around him.)  
  
Yoshi: Have you been a good girl while I was away?  
  
Kootie Pie: Uh huh.  
  
Birdo: Give me a break.  
  
Yoshi: Remember Birdo, be nice. Don't worry Kootie, I won't let Birdo hurt you.  
  
Birdo: What is he doing?  
  
Yoshi: Here Kootie, have some waffles. Kootie Pie: Thank you. {There's gonna' be problems}  
(KT eyed Mario who sat right by Birdo)  
  
Peach: This might get ugly...  
  
Yoshi: Let's get ready to rumble. Heh, heh, heh.  
  
Kootie Pie: (innocently) So Birdo, are you still mad at me?  
  
Birdo: (*-_- sarcastically) Now why would I be mad at you, Kootie Pie?  
  
Kootie Pie: (innocently) Could it be because I stole your boyfriend from you?  
  
Birdo: (furious) Grr, your ass is mine!  
  
Birdo jumps out of her seat and onto the table, but before she gets far, Mario has her by the waist.  
  
Mario: Down girl.  
  
Birdo: Let me go.  
  
Mario: Hey, relax Birdo.  
  
Kootie Pie: Yeah. Don't get mad because Yoshi would rather be with me than a tramp like you.  
  
Birdo: I got you tramp right here you witch!  
  
Kootie Pie: (*-_-) Witch?!  
  
KT: (holding Kootie Pie's shell) Take it easy, Kootie Pie.  
  
Peach: You had this planned didn't you Yoshi?  
  
Yoshi: Not Kootie showing up and causing trouble. Now ladies, as much as I want to see you two fight and I really want it to happen-  
  
Birdo & Kootie Pie: Then tell him to let me go.  
  
Yoshi: Can I finish? Anyway, as I dream of you beating the snot out of each other, it's not going to happen.  
  
?: Why not? Combat is something I specialize in. Mario, KT, bring the pair outside.  
  
So Mario and KT held the captive female while Shadow stood between them.  
  
?: You two want to fight each other so badly, huh? Well, I can help quench your thirst for each other's blood.  
  
Fuchsia & Peach: Shadow?!  
  
?: But it isn't why I'm here. If you wish to fight, do it on your own time.  
  
Birdo: I would, but Peach won't let me.  
  
Kootie Pie: She knows that I'll whip you good.  
  
Birdo: (*-_-) Keep talking head...  
  
DKR  
  
Timber: TT, are you serious about the last flag race between Darion and Shadow?  
  
TT: I'm not lying to you, Timber. Shadow finished one hundredth of a second after him, which was great since they were head up the whole race.  
  
Diddy & Drumstick: The whole race?  
  
TT: Every last second.  
  
Conker: This is bad.  
  
Pipsy: What do you mean, Conker?  
  
Conker: If this Shadow guy can keep a race that close to our fastest racer, then we have problems and big ones at that.  
  
?: Conker my boy, you can't even imagine how much of a problem that you have.  
  
TT: What do you want now, Shadow?  
  
?: I was just listening to you, that's all.  
  
Diddy: You don't scare me Shadow, now show yourself!  
  
?: Turn around.  
(Diddy turned around to see Shadow standing a couple of feet from him. Shadow approached the DKR racers and sat next to Pipsy)  
  
?: You are his mate, are you not?  
  
Pipsy: What does that matter?  
  
?: No matter, but don't feel ashamed. Lovers are racing on both sides. Luigi and Peach are lovers, so are Toad and Fuchsia. Just because you're with your mate doesn't mean anything.  
  
Pipsy: Hmf.  
  
?: Rest assured, if I wanted to use you for ransom, I would have done it last night.  
  
TT: Shouldn't you be on the other side?  
  
?: Not really.  
  
Diddy: Why not?  
  
?: Both sides can use both sides. {Nicely put.}  
  
Diddy: (confused) Huh?  
  
?: Good, now let's move on. Seeing as this is the first time the rest of you are starting to meet me, I might as well introduce myself. I am Shadow, one of The Lost searching to be Found.  
  
Pipsy: If you're Lost, then why are you here?  
  
Krunch: Whoa, time-out. Can somebody explain what the hell you're talking about?  
  
Pipsy: Shadow is dead.  
  
Darion: Dead, as in deceased?  
  
?: Ah, so we meet again Racer X, or should I say, Darion Swiss?  
  
Team DKR is agasp about this. They just found out who Darion really is.  
  
Darion: What do you want now?  
  
?: To talk and nothing more... at least nothing more as of now.  
  
Diddy: How did you...  
  
?: Like I said before, I know who you are. So Diddy, when was the last time you sent Dixie some flowers?  
  
Diddy: (!O_O) No way!  
  
Pipsy: The dead know all and tell no lies. You can tell us about our lives, can't you?  
  
?: Do I look like a soothsayer to you? Or a fortune teller? I am no crystal ball, nor guardian of time, nor anything else. (to self) Silly people, I'm not from the future.  
After all of the discussing of lives went on, shadow went to Crescent Island. Though is wasn't to race, but to examine the whole track. He drove Toad's hovercraft and looked around. He studied the track before in the kart and was doing it in the craft now, however, TT was keeping an eye on him.  
  
?: So, if you go around the ship in the hovercraft, it will save a lot of time instead of going through it.  
  
TT: Having fun?  
  
?: Fun is of no importance.  
  
TT: Don't get cocky.  
  
?: Listen here, you may have threatened Toad about being the guardian of the courses, but you don't scare me one bit.  
  
TT: We shall see about this, now grab your kart and let's go!  
  
?: You wish to challenge me?  
  
TT: It's not like I have much of a choice, since you're taking Toad's place and I'm his rival. Let's "duel" as you say.  
  
TT and Shadow went off in a practice run.  
  
?: Whenever you are ready.  
  
TT: On three... One... two... three!  
  
Both racers shot off down the hill and through the first turn. Though TT took the left fork where the zipper was, Shadow went to the right fork. On the next turn, The two racers were neck and neck, but this tie didn't last long. Once they reached the pirate ship, Shadow was in the lead.  
  
?: Silly clock, I end this race now! From this point on, I will not be caught.  
By the end of the first lap, TT was trailing. TT tried the rest of the race to catch Shadow, but it wasn't going to happen.  
  
?: I wonder if they think that Toad is this fast...  
  
When the race was over, Shadow finished in a time of 1:30 and TT as usual at 1:33:16.  
  
TT: That was a good race, Shadow. But admit it, I gave you a run for your money in the beginning...  
  
?: You never gave me that, I was just horsing around with you. Don't expect me to do that next time.  
[Unknown to Shadow, Darion watched the whole race. He was in the booth peeping every last turn.]  
  
Darion: Interesting run, Shadow. You may have what it takes to beat me after all...  
*  
MKR  
  
Mario: This has to end and soon.  
  
Birdo: This isn't over Kootie Pie, not by a long shot.  
  
Kootie Pie: I'll agree to that.  
(Kootie Pie exits and heads for the castle)  
  
Baby Mario: Did the two of you finally get along yet?  
  
Birdo: Do we look like we're friends!?  
  
Baby Mario: (starts crying) Waaaah!  
  
Birdo: I'm sorry little guy, I shouldn't be mad at you... I should be mad at you Yoshi!  
  
Yoshi: I'm not the one to blame here.  
  
?: If you all are done bickering like old folks, we have an odds race today.  
  
Fuchsia: Shadow, where are you?  
  
?: The other side. Now come on, I'll be waiting for you here.  
  
Mario: We're on our way. KT, escort Kootie Pie back to Bowser.  
[Meanwhile, DK and Taj are trying to figure out who might get things going now.]  
  
DK: So, where are the two teams headed next?  
  
Taj: Flying in Spaceport Alpha. Let's see if Mario and crew can prove how much of flying aces they are.  
  
DK: Yeah, plus this is going to be two on two.  
  
Taj: Well, let's head to the island then and get this show on the road.  
  
DKR  
  
Here at the spaceport, the twenty racers are set in their planes and are ready to fly.  
  
DK: Okay people, today's odds in the spaceport is two on two. All items are on and ready for the picking.  
  
Taj: The next flag event is at Bowser's Castle and whichever team wins gets a three on one shot for their team. Here are the racers for each side: Peach and Bowser from MKR, and Diddy and X from DKR.  
  
Peach: What a slaughter!  
  
Darion: You wish to forfeit all ready?  
  
Peach: (!-_-) I... didn't say that.  
  
Bowser: I'll sit this one out.  
  
?: You are a coward aren't you, Bowser?  
  
Bowser: I ain't no coward!  
  
?: There's no shame in losing, but in cowardice. If you are afraid to race him, just say so.  
  
Bowser: I fear no one, let's do this!  
  
So after Shadow's "prep talk", the four racers lined up in one horizontal line.  
  
Bowser: Are you ready to fly Peach?  
  
Peach: Ready.  
  
Darion: This match and upcoming flag are ours.  
  
Diddy: You said it. {Ooh, I like confidence. It's thrilling!}  
  
DK: This is for a three on one for the flag. Three laps everyone, GO!  
  
And off they went, Darion with a bang. It took only a couple of seconds for him to hit the first zipper and off he zoomed into the air shaft. The other three racers were headed into the shaft and the MKR racers had a little bit of trouble with the dive and climb. Peach even hit the ceiling as Bowser hit the wall on the upward climb.  
  
Peach: This is bad.  
  
Bowser: I knew I wanted to sit this one out for a reason and this is why.  
Peach and Bowser made it to the tube nearing the end of their first lap when Diddy and Darion lapped them.  
  
Darion: See you later, losers!  
[As Peach and Bowser crossed for their second lap, the two saw Diddy and Darion on their final lap. Bowser decided to land his plane and when Peach saw this, she landed next to him.]  
  
Peach: What's wrong with you? Bowser: This race is over, I'm quitting.  
  
Peach: Some pilot you are. Shadow was right, your are a coward!  
(Peach flew off and Bowser watched her go)  
  
Bowser: Unlike you Peach, some of us admit defeat. But you never wanted to experience that... or did you?  
[Though Peach knew her team had lost, she decided to fly through the course anyway. Not to be stubborn, but to find out how to go through the air shaft without crashing and make a good run for herself.]  
  
Peach: Bowser you are the biggest and heaviest chicken shit I've ever known in my life. {She thought, "Chicken Shit."} You really are a frady cat.  
Meanwhile, Diddy and Darion crossed the line to put the odds in their favor.  
  
Diddy: What happened? Did the big bad turtle get acrophobia?  
  
Darion: Of course not. Jerry Attrick here couldn't cut it on this course.  
  
Diddy: Yeah, he wimped out. I guess he isn't so bad after all X, he's just a wanna' be.  
  
Darion: (^_^) Yeah. (teasing) Crybaby, crybaby, suck your thumb. And don't forget your bubble gum.  
  
Diddy: Some water melons he has.  
  
Darion: Yeah, melon seeds.  
[As Diddy and Darion laugh at Bowser, "his highness" is POed big time. Peach then crossed and saw Bowser getting laughed at and did absolutely nothing to help him. All she did was sigh and left Spaceport a.  
  
?: You deserve every last insult you coward.  
  
After the race, the two teams ate without care. Mario: What happened out there Bowser, you look liked you choked?  
  
Bowser: I didn't choke.  
  
Darion: No, you chickened out.  
  
Bowser: Don't get cocky!  
  
Taj: Anyway, now that the two of you put the odds in your favor, what can you say about the upcoming flag event?  
  
Darion: This game is tied.  
  
DK: Is that all?  
  
Diddy: No way Uncle Donkey. My team will tie here and take the lead later.  
  
Mario: Not if I have something to say about it and I do.  
  
Baby Mario: So which one of us is going up against three DKR racers DK?  
  
DK: We didn't choose yet, but when we do, you'll know it.  
  
?: As long as I complete my mission, I will be pleased.  
  
Darion: Let's hear about this mission, Shadow. What's your objective?  
  
?: To take a flag from you. And I'm not leaving until I've done so.  
  
Darion: Good luck.  
  
?: Your stubborn pride will lead to your downfall since it all ready kept you from doing so. You may think that this is inevitable, but it shall be done.  
  
Darion: We shall see.  
  
KT: Hey Koopa, look who showed up again?  
  
Yoshi: Now what does she want? Oh well, bes' play along. Hi Kootie Pie.  
  
Kootie Pie: Yoshi darling, don't worry me so much huh? I don't want to be a widow before I marry.  
  
Bowser: (*\_/) Hey, cut the crap! We aren't at home my daughter, and I won't tolerate this anymore.  
  
Yoshi: Like I keep telling' you, she's "The Horny Princess."  
  
KT: You know, bringing up an earlier topic-  
  
Peach: You better not think about it, KT.  
  
KT: But you don't know what I was going to talk about though...  
(Peach leered KT, who sulked and decided to leave the rock unturned)  
  
Baby Mario: So Kootie Pie, how many gushers have you had since Yoshi was away? {That ain't right!}  
  
Fuchsia & Peach: Baby!  
  
Baby Mario: What?  
  
Peach: Do you have sex in front of him with Daisy, Mario?  
  
Mario: Hell no, Peach. Do you?  
  
Peach: Of course not.  
(Peach and Mario continue to argue)  
  
Fuchsia: (!/_\) This is embarrassing.  
  
?: No, it's just ignorant.  
  
Timber: You people are sick.  
  
Diddy: (!U_U) You can say that again.  
  
Timber: You people are sick.  
  
?: Yoshi, a moment of your time.  
  
Yoshi: Gotcha'.  
  
Yoshi and Shadow stepped away from the group.  
  
?: So, do you know what this means?  
  
Yoshi: The three on one, yes. If Team DKR get this flag, then the wars are tied at three.  
  
?: And how do you think they'll want to be when the game is tied?  
  
Yoshi: Dominant.  
  
?: Damn right! I see you understand just like Toad does...  
  
Yoshi: Yes, but not as much as he does. Look, if you get the chance to go up against all three of them, you have a flaw in your plans.  
  
?: So you know why I'm here?  
  
Yoshi: A little bit. From what Toad told me, he can summon you to do his own bidding for him. This bidding is your mission, right?  
  
?: Correct.  
  
Yoshi: Figures. But what I want to know is why you use Toad's body as a host?  
  
?: Unimportant. What matters now is the fact of keeping the DKR racers from taking the lead. You and I alone, along with Toad will be able to stop this from happening, are you going to join us?  
  
Yoshi: I need to think about this, Shadow. I will give you my answer before the flag event that happens later tonight.  
  
?: Agreed. I will see you then, Yoshi.  
  
The two decided to rejoin the group and act as if the conversing they had never existed, but Fuchsia saw and heard the whole thing.  
  
Fuchsia: Hmmm...  
*  
  
MKR  
  
Just before the match, Yoshi met up with Shadow. [It was just outside of Bowser's where they were, but unknown to him, Fuchsia was with Shadow.]  
  
Yoshi: Okay, I've made my decision.  
  
?: Well?  
  
Yoshi: We aren't doing anything foolish are we, like starting our own team or turning to the other side?  
  
?: We're all Mario Kart Racers here, Yoshi. Now what's your call?  
  
Yoshi: I'm in.  
  
Fuchsia: (approaching Shadow) Good, that makes three of us.  
  
Yoshi: What are you doing here?  
  
Fuchsia: I heard your talk that you had earlier today, so I want in.  
  
Yoshi: After your run in practice, I don't see why not.  
  
?: Me neither. Let's go peoples, we are all in this one for keeps.  
  
Now it was time for the flag event. Bowser's Castle was ready to give it's challengers some tough times.  
  
Taj: It's time for the next flag race here in Bowser's Castle. As all of you know, DKR has three racers in this event and MKR has one. X, since you crossed the line first, and Donkey Kong and I agreed on this one, choose two people you want to race with you from your side.  
  
Darion: This is easy, Taj. I choose TT and Drumstick.  
  
Taj: Okay. Now Mario, I want you to spin this wheel. As you can see, this wheel has all of the members of your team on them, excluding yourself. You get only one spin, and whoever the needle stops on will race against the tree racers from Team DKR, so make it count.  
  
Mario: And why can't I race?  
  
Darion: If you want Shadow to race against us, spin it so the needle lands in Shadow's spot.  
  
[Mario placed his hand on the wheel and after a deep sigh, the plumber spun the wheel with authority.]  
  
Mario: I hope it's someone who's fast...  
  
[As the wheel slowed down, everyone was hoping on a good hand. But when the wheel stopped, everyone was shocked at the result.] Taj: Well Yoshi, it's you against the three fastest racers of the opposing side. Yoshi: (seeing flags) It's zap time!  
(The four racers lined up with Yoshi in front, and the three DKR racers were behind him. [From left to right they were TT, Darion and Drumstick. Yoshi was in front of Darion.] Yoshi was only seeing flags and that's all that mattered.)  
  
Darion: It's time to lose now, Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi: Just remember that you aren't at home, Racer X. This is MKR territory, not on the island!  
  
Jugem: Okay people, listen up. A lot of things are at stake on this race for both sides, so here's the routine. Should Yoshi lose this race, both sides will be tied. Yoshi's objective is to prevent the tie from occurring, are all of you ready? Darion, Drumstick, TT & Yoshi: Yes! Jugem: O-kay, three laps begin on the green light.  
  
Jugem held his pole with the lights on it and when the green light sounded, all four racers blasted off. Around the first turn, everybody got a weapon. Around the next turn, TT was a little surprised. TT: What are those things?  
  
Darion: I believe they're called Thwomps.  
  
Yoshi: Yeah, and them bad boys hurt.  
  
Drumstick: They won't hurt me.  
Drumstick used his Shield and even though Thwomp landed under him, he wasn't smashed, but his kart came to a full stop. Darion fired his homer, but it hit the middle Thwomp as it dropped, acting like a shield for Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi: (B-P) Missed me!  
  
Darion: Even so, but Racer X isn't out of this race yet.  
  
After the next two turns, TT hit one of the side scrolling Thwomps, spinning him out.  
  
Drumstick: Look out!  
(Drumstick was using his Speed Shield and smacked TT accidentally. the stopwatch was sent flying forward, lined up in front of the bridge)  
  
TT: Hey!  
  
Drumstick: (!^_^) Sorry!  
Down the steps, Yoshi used his weapon, a Slickpak and he did it with strategy. And on the way down, He got another one as he entered u-turn number eight. [As Drumstick and Darion went down the stairs, they spun out and hit the wall. TT was right behind them and went down easily.]  
  
TT: Gotcha' covered.  
In the booths, the others were watching the race.  
  
Mario: It looks like Yoshi's winning the race.  
  
Diddy: This is just the first lap, Mario. There's a whole lot of race to run.  
  
DK: I have to admit it Mario, I didn't think Yoshi would be leading the race at all.  
  
Mario: You shouldn't doubt your friends, Donkey Kong.  
  
Pipsy: Just wait until my boo is done playing around... you'll see.  
  
?: We shall see about this one, Darion. If you can lead your team to victory, but I can lead mine to conquest. Let's see who can win in this duel.  
  
On the first turn of the second lap, Yoshi got a Thunder Bullet, but he got smashed by a Thwomp.  
  
Yoshi: Ow.  
This minor setback put him in dead last. Diddy now had a smile on his face.  
  
Diddy: Now what was that about Yoshi leading the race?  
  
?: You haven't seen the last of this race yet.  
  
Mario: Unlike your uncle, I trust my teammates.  
  
Diddy: If you say so.  
  
Darion: Guys, let's take this win!  
  
Drumstick & TT: Yeah!  
Halfway through the second lap, the DKR racers were lined up one after another going through the turns. Though Yoshi was behind, he wasn't trailing by much. He had a plan to trail the race and swoop up in the end.  
  
Yoshi: Shadow, everything's going accordingly.  
  
?: Good, now get the flag right under their noses.  
  
Yoshi: Gotcha'!  
  
Yoshi kept trailing but when he got to the turn that spiraled around the tower, he decided to swoop and take the win.  
  
Pipsy: This race is over, you guys lost.  
  
?: Only a fool would think it's over at the beginning of the end.  
  
The last lap was on and the flag was more at stake than ever.  
  
Darion: TT, Drumstick, cover me!  
  
Drumstick: I'm not letting you take all of the credit.  
  
Darion: As long as one of us wins, we get the flag! Now stop complaining!  
  
Drumstick: Why don't you cover me?  
  
Darion: (shrugging) Fine, I'll cover you. Just take the flag.  
  
Drumstick: You mean you're not mad?  
  
Darion: Of course not.  
[Suddenly, thunder struck and the DKR racers were shrunk.]  
  
Drumstick: What the...  
  
Darion: Yoshi!  
  
TT: Nooo!  
  
Darion: What do you have?  
  
Drumstick: A Stealth Steal, why?  
  
Darion: Take my Speed Shield, you need it.  
  
Drumstick: Right.  
  
Darion: When we get to size again--Hey, somebody took my weapon.  
  
Drumstick: I don't have it.  
  
Yoshi: Thanks man, I needed that. Bye!  
  
After the DKR racers gained size, Drumstick sped off and used his weapon and in return, got a Timed Boost. He used this with fury and caught up and passed Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi: Oh no you don't!  
[Yoshi hit the Speed Shield and made this race head up. {Go Yoshi, go!} It didn't take long, but the two were coming down the lane and turned around the final turn.]  
  
Mario: Here they come, right down the line.  
  
(Shadow turned his attention to the monitor on the race and watched as Yoshi and Drumstick crossed the line. When this happened, he paused the screen and glared it down)  
  
Fuchsia: What happened?  
  
Diddy: I don't know, we have to look at it from another angle.  
  
?: No need. There was a tie race, so both sides get a flag.  
  
Across from the bridge, and from each other, Yoshi and Drumstick eyed each other down while breathing deeply.  
  
Drumstick & Yoshi: Damn, you're fast! (Huff puff) Thanks, so are you.  
  
Yoshi: I should've been your rival, not KT.  
  
Drumstick: You're worthy of it, too.  
In the booths, the tape was being reviewed. After close magnification, the judges found out that Shadow was right.  
  
Judges: Tie race.  
  
?: I told you so. What did you think you guys, I said that because I didn't want the team to lose a flag?  
  
Taj: (!^_^) Of course not.  
  
DK: (!^_^) Yeah. We always have to review matches like this.  
  
?: Liars...  
  
Yoshi: I have to admit it, you guys gave me a run for the flag.  
  
Darion: Did you expect less?  
  
Yoshi: Not really, X  
  
Peach: Hey, you guys...  
  
Racers: What?  
  
Peach: The race was a draw, each side gets a flag.  
  
TT: Not again.  
  
Darion: I guess you are fast after all... Let's go everyone, we got what we came for.  
(Darion passed by Shadow on the way out)  
  
Darion: You trained him well.  
  
?: I always train well, X. Just remember that I'm not gone just yet.  
  
Darion: Sorry, but this is one mission that you will fail.  
  
?: Time will tell Darion, time will tell...  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-3 MKR-4  
  
To be continued..... 


	7. changing the game

RACE WARS  
PART 6  
A CHANGE IN SUIT  
  
It was three a.m. at night and everyone was sleeping, except for Shadow. He was thinking about his mission as usual.  
  
Shadow: Well, it's come to my assumption that we need a little change in plan for Team MKR, but what really needs to change? Of course, that's what. It's time for some makeovers...  
  
That morning at Peach's castle during breakfast, the whole team discussed plans on what to do next to ensure a victory.  
  
Mario: Okay people, as you well know, we have the lead by one flag thanks to Yoshi and his skilled driving, but something tells me that Diddy and his band of racers have had it with our lead. So from this point on, we have to be ready to race the other side's courses and find shortcuts and strategic places on each one.  
  
Wario: So what about the damn courses, I have another issue to discuss.  
  
Luigi: What's with him?  
  
Waluigi: It's our autos, man. They've been changed!  
  
Peach: What do you mean?  
  
Wario: Someone messed with me vehicles, man. C'mon, I'll show you.  
  
As the team went outside to Wario and Waluigi's karts, they saw that they've been changed.  
  
Mario: Is that your kart?  
  
Wario: (*\_/)Yeah it's my kart!  
  
Luigi: I don't see anything wrong with it, I actually like how it looks.  
  
Peach: Me too.  
  
KT: I do also.  
  
[Wario's kart looks better than before. Instead of the purple frame, wheels, seat, engine and leg plates, it actually looked like a kart. The kart had an actual body to it, which was colored purple with a Yellow stripe at the front and a symbol in the form of a circle, which had a "W" in it.] {That looks phat!}  
  
Yoshi: Sweet!  
  
Luigi: Wario, this kart got a makeover, and you're complaining? Why?  
  
Peach: I agree. This looks ten times better than what it used to look like.  
  
KT: Check out Waluigi's wheels, guys.  
[Like his brother's, Waluigi's kart also had a body to it, except it was black and had a purple stripe at the front. His symbol was on of his daggers]  
  
Mario: Stop complaining that your karts have an actual body to them.  
  
Fuchsia drove up in her kart, which also had a body to it. [It was pink with a red stripe at the front, and a heart of gold as her symbol.]  
  
Fuchsia: Have you guys seen your karts lately?  
  
KT: We were just looking at the Wario Bros. karts and theirs look sweet.  
  
Fuchsia: What about mine?  
(KT walks over to look at Fuchsia's kart)  
  
Fuchsia: well?  
  
KT: Pink really isn't my color, but it suits you.  
  
Shadow: Suits huh? Good.  
  
Yoshi: You did this to their karts?  
  
Shadow: Not just theirs, but all of them, including Toad's kart. It took a while to find icons to fit all of you, but it has been done.  
  
Wario: You could've told us before you did this, you know.  
  
Shadow: And ruin the looks on your faces? Yeah right!  
  
Bowser: I hope you didn't turn mine so it looks queer like.  
  
Shadow: You won't complain, besides, I gave these karts some life.  
  
Fuchsia: Well, I'll be the first one to say it... Thank you, Shadow.  
  
Shadow: None needed.  
  
DKR  
  
Diddy: They have four flags, we have three.  
  
Timber: It doesn't matter, Diddy.  
  
Diddy: It does matter.  
  
Pipsy: Take it easy, Diddy. There's a lot of time left in Race Wars left take the lead, besides, we're only down by one. Get a grip.  
  
Diddy: You're right... but they have four flags and we have three.  
  
Conker: Somebody slap him.  
(Bumper walks up to Diddy and slaps some sense into him)  
  
Conker: Look, Diddy. Don't have issues because this is just a minor setback. Darion, if you don't mind, I'll retake my place.  
  
Darion: No problem.  
  
Drumstick: Diddy, you and I both know that Yoshi got lucky. Now we need to keep focused so we can take the lead. So what if they're up by one, it's not over yet. If you can't get a grip of your racing pride now, then we may never take the lead, let alone the victory.  
  
Krunch: Yeah, get a grip.  
  
Kazooie: Put yourself together man.  
  
Banjo: Kazooie's right. If you can't keep a clear head about this, you won't lead us to victory.  
  
Diddy: You're all right. How am I supposed be be a leader when I'm one of the followers? Okay everyone, let's take this home!  
  
MKR  
  
Mario: Okay Shadow, we want to know this, how's Toad?  
  
Shadow: Everything's going to be okay and he should be home in a couple of days. Now, how does everyone like the new look?  
[Everyone was looking at Toad's kart. The body was sky blue with a white stripe at the front, but the symbol was confusing to the team.]  
  
Peach: What is with the icon?  
  
Shadow: Simple. since two people have been driving this kart, the icon is half and half. The right side is Toad and the left is myself. I can't let him take all of the credit now can I?  
  
Mario Bros.: Of course not.  
  
Shadow: Good.  
  
Luigi: I don't like the colors on mine.  
  
Shadow: Why? Green with a white stripe fits you. At least your past, anyway. It's time for a little ol' school, Luigi.  
  
Luigi: I like the green mushroom though.  
  
Shadow: Now, if everyone is ready, Donkey Kong wants to talk to us on the other side.  
  
DKR  
  
DK: Okay everyone, I have something very important to tell you all, so listen up. The odds race this afternoon at the Koopa Troopa Beach will be your final odds race of Race Wars.  
  
Diddy: You mean there will be no more of them after the beach?  
  
DK: That's right, Diddy. And this is free-for-all with a twist, with all the pickings.  
  
Luigi: Explain the pickings.  
  
DK: Whoever wins this goes head to head with their rival for the flag in Fire Mountain. So if at any time the pressure wasn't on for your team, it's on now, especially for you team, Diddy.  
  
Diddy: I know, I know. This is it, the last chance to tie the match. Everything's on the line now more than it was before for me and my team, because if we don't get this flag... Mario and his band of buddies have won the wars. I won't let this happen!  
  
Mario: Looks like this is the end of the road for everybody... and to think, we didn't even go through half of the courses yet... I guess Taj is calling it quits... Either that, or Donkey Kong really wants us to win.  
  
Shadow: Something is rotten here. Hey Kong, do you really doubt your nephew and his friends this much, or does Taj want to call it quits?  
  
Taj: I'm not the one in charge of scoring Shadow, Donkey Kong is. And I would love to know the answer to your question just like the rest of us.  
  
Shadow: Well, explain yourself, Kong. Who's side are you on, and don't say neutral either, because this is far from in-between...  
  
DK: (O_o) Oh, I see where this is going. Boy does everyone take things incorrectly. I'm just tired of seeing you go for flags every two races, that's all.  
  
Taj: .......  
  
DK: Race Wars isn't over yet, you haven't even done half of the courses for flags yet. I'm just putting the odds mumbo jumbo to an end so we can finally get to the point.  
  
Shadow: Good. It's nice to know that we can finally get somewhere now.  
  
Mario: And what does that mean?  
  
Shadow: If you want my opinion, I say we should've been doing what Kong wants us to do now. We could've raced for ten flags instead of five and that is pathetic. A complete waste of time. {Very well said.} Now, no more time will be wasted on silly races to determine how one team will fare against the other.  
  
Krunch: Hmm, good point.  
  
Shadow: Now Kong, Toad told me about a mode when we take the other team's flags?  
  
DK: Yeah, I mentioned that, but that will only happen if there is a tie, which is what I want to happen.  
  
Shadow: Yes, I would enjoy taking a tie like that too, Kong.  
  
Taj: That makes sense.  
  
DK: Good, then everybody meet at the beach in five... bring your hovercrafts.  
  
Darion: No problem.  
  
Shadow: You took the words right out of my mouth, X.  
  
MKR  
  
Fuchsia: Toad, where are you...  
  
As always, Fuchsia worries about Toad. The bed she sleeps in has been a little colder than usual, but that's not a problem for her. A bigger problem is handling her hovercraft, since she doesn't understand turning quite well. [Yoshi sneaks up from behind and heads to Fuchsia's right.]  
  
Yoshi: You seem to be having a little trouble turning.  
  
Fuchsia: A little?  
  
Yoshi: There's a secret to turning in this auto and that's to turn lightly. If you turn to much, you'll make a u-turn. {So true.}  
  
Fuchsia: Turn lightly, huh? Okay, I can do that.  
  
Yoshi: Just remember that, and you'll be fine.  
  
Fuchsia: Thanks, Yoshi!  
  
Yoshi: No problem.  
  
It was finally time for the final odds event of Race Wars. It was the last time for things to go one team's way, at least that what if felt like to Diddy...  
  
DK: Okay people, it's time to get down to bid'ness. There are eight racers for this one and as a reminder to everyone, this is free-for-all. If any team members of the same side help out-  
  
Mario: We know, we know, that person is DQed.  
  
DK: Not this time, Mario. If it happens now, that side loses a flag! Good luck to all of you.  
  
Shadow: Before this goes on, I want everyone to know that I'm sitting this race out, but will be back for the flag.  
  
Mario: But who's going to race for you?  
  
Shadow: Fuchsia is.  
  
Fuchsia: (!/_\) Uh, are you sure about this?  
  
Shadow: I have faith in you.  
  
Fuchsia: Okay, if you say so...  
  
Taj: Good, now here's how it's working. Bowser, Yoshi, Wario and KT from MKR... and Diddy, Pipsy, Drumstick and Bumper from DKR.  
  
Yoshi: Hey Bumper, if I win, get ready to take wing.  
  
Bumper: That's IF you win, or I do.  
  
Yoshi: Don't get cocky!  
  
KT: I have to win, because I'm hosting this race on my beach. I'll look bad if I lose.  
  
Fuchsia: It won't be the first time it happened.  
  
KT: (!-_-) That's not nice, especially when I never did that to you...  
  
Taj: (rolls eyes) They just can't seem to get along can they? Any time you eight are ready, we can get this started.  
  
Wario: Let's do it!  
  
[The eight racers lined up vertically in two lines and were ready to race. Jugem appeared before them all as usual.]  
  
KT: Look man, we already know about this race so get to the point.  
  
Jugem: Okay, fine. This race will test your driving skill in your hovercrafts. There are no weapons and you can't chicken out... Bowser! Bowser: (rolls eyes) Ha, ha, ha. Hardy, har, har. Jugem: Yeah, right. Anyway, winner gets to compete against his or her rival, so get ready to blaze in glory on the green light.  
  
As the green light went off, all eight racers zoomed past. {Buh-bye!} Diddy, who was leading his team, felt like how Mario did in Darkmoon Caverns.  
  
Diddy: I can't let anyone else win now, friends and foes alike. This time, I have to win, because if I don't, There may not be a tomorrow for me or my team. I must win at all costs! {Boy, has he lost it again...}  
Diddy just went off the ramp just before the shortcut and under the arch, now he had only one thing to do on his mind... win. As he swung left, he lined himself up and when the time was right, jumped off the ramp and into the cave for a shortcut.  
  
Diddy: I made it. I made it! Now I have to do it two more times.  
  
KT: I wonder where everyone else is...  
KT thought he had the lead, but was unaware that Diddy took the shortcut and placed the blue shelled troopa in second place.  
  
KT: I don't see them anywhere, seeing as I passed them all... Well, except for DK's nephew..... Ah shhhhit! That chimp took the shortcut. I gotta' catch him!  
  
Diddy had a well enough lead on KT and it looks as if he could mess up big time and still win, but he decided not to. Donkey Kong's favorite nephew was racing like someone in elimination, one who has no other option but to win. [Diddy swung left again and headed for the ramp leading to the shortcut.] Diddy: Here we go again...  
[Diddy jumped a bit too early and was stuck between falling and entering, but he managed to enter the shortcut. just as he heard KT's craft. {Lucky monkey. Get him, KT!} KT heard and saw Diddy and he pursued.]  
  
KT: Oh no you don't.  
  
KT headed for the shortcut, but he missed and lost a place as the result. {Come on man, you weren't supposed to bapp!} Meanwhile, Diddy was in the water just before the line and looked behind him.  
  
Diddy: I don't see KT behind me and he went for the 'cut. (shrugs) Oh well, I guess he missed... On a boat out in the water, the others watched the race.  
  
Shadow: Diddy won this race, it's unanimous.  
  
Peach: Shows how much faith you have, Shadow.  
  
Shadow: You mean to tell me that you can come back from twenty seconds behind the leader without any weapons and win the race?  
  
Peach: (!^_^) Well, not really.  
  
Shadow: Of course not...  
  
Luigi: Well Mario, from the looks of things, you will finally get to go up against Diddy after all.  
  
Mario: It sure looks that way, doesn't it?  
  
Diddy was coming up on the shortcut again and for a third consecutive time, he made it through. Diddy: I won, plain and simple. No one can stop me now, not even that blue Koopa Troopa.  
  
It seemed like it and it happened, Diddy took the win like his thoughts and instinct told him to. He ended the odds racing in his team's favor and everyone was happy.  
  
Pipsy: Not bad, Diddy.  
  
Diddy: Aw shucks, it was nothing.  
  
KT: Nothing? It was luck, that's what it was. If I hadn't missed that jump on the second lap, you wouldn't have won this race.  
  
Diddy: Don't mix up luck with error, Koopa Troopa. Besides, you still came in second...  
  
KT: True, but that's the final time you rob me like that. It won't happen again.  
  
Diddy: Maybe so...  
[Diddy's words were cut off by looking at Mario, who was a good two hundred yards away staring back at him. The scene now shows the two small and a bolt of lightning about the height from Mario's eyes went to Diddy. The chimp's own bolt of lightning from his eyes went back at the plumber. Then all of a sudden it shows a transparent version of the two bigger and leering each other down.] {Let's get ready to rumble!} [As Mario began to speak, his bigger aura showed up in the sky.]  
  
Mario: Well Diddy, I finally get the chance to go up against you head to head.  
[Mario's aura faded and Diddy's appeared as he began to speak]  
  
Diddy: Yes, you do.  
{The auras keep switching as each line comes up.}  
  
Mario: This should've happened a long time ago, way back in Darkmoon Caverns.  
  
Diddy: It doesn't matter now Mario, we get to go up in Fire Mountain next. This match will soon be tied.  
  
Mario: No problem. This race battle is going to be your downfall.  
  
Diddy: Fool! Fire Mountain isn't a battle course, That's the purposes of Darkwater Beach and Icicle Pyramid. Like Smokey Castle, Fire Mountain is a contest arena, it isn't made for battling! We DKR racers believe not just in racing and battling, but we also have contests to show our skill. This is something that you lack!  
  
Mario: We Mario Kart Racers lack nothing and nothing at all! We just do things differently than you do, that's all.  
  
Diddy: Well be ready to break a tie, because this flag belongs to me. (seeing flags) This is one flag you won't be taking home... you may get the next flag Mario, but this on in the mountain is mine!  
  
Mario: (seeing flags) Don't get too cocky, or you might lose your flag.  
  
Diddy: You do know what this means, right?  
  
Mario: Refresh my memory...  
  
Diddy: This means that we get to prove who has the bigger balls. Let's see if you have the melons to take the flag from me.  
  
Mario: Yes, I would like to see if your grapefruits can keep a flag.  
  
Diddy & Mario: We shall soon find out who is the better leader. Just try and stop me now, "friend", but I warn you... This time, I won't lose to you!  
  
Shadow looks on from a distance in the calm ocean.  
  
Shadow: Hmmm, the battle in the mountain shall prove interesting to both sides. I hope you're watching Toad, because are about to get edgy.  
  
Toad: Don't worry my ally, I'm watching all of this. And you are right... this shall be interesting and all of its flavors.  
  
DKR  
  
Berri: I wonder how everyone did in the race today. Hey Kazooie, what do you think?  
  
Kazooie: I dunno' Berri, we'll find out when they get back here, I'm sure.  
  
Berri: I hope Conker's okay.  
  
Kazooie: You really make me sick, you know that?  
  
Berri: Why?  
  
Kazooie: Conker is twenty-one years young, he'll be fine. You need to relax.  
  
Berri: You're right Kazooie. You know, for a bird without a cock, you're pretty smart.  
  
Kazooie: I don't have a cock, I have a cloaca.  
  
Berri: (/_\) Ew, that's not what I meant....  
  
MKR  
  
Daisy: Do you have any fives?  
  
Birdo: Go fish. (Daisy takes a card) Aces?  
  
Daisy: Go fish. (Birdo takes a card) What about kings?  
  
Birdo: Ah, I just picked it up. (hands king to Daisy)  
  
Daisy: Hmm, are there any twos?  
  
Birdo: Go fish. (Daisy takes a card) Nines?  
  
Daisy: Go fish.  
[Mario enters the door and the whole team follows behind him.]  
  
Luigi: So Mario, do you think that you can actually win?  
  
Mario: We'll find out, Luigi.  
  
KT: Good luck man, you're gonna' need it.  
  
Mario: (*\_/) And what does that mean?  
  
KT: Well, Diddy seems so psyched about this flag event that he's predicting victory.  
  
Mario: He should predict an ass kicking.  
  
Peach: (whispers to Yoshi) I think Mario is as psyched as Diddy.  
  
Yoshi: (nodding) Of course.  
  
Sunset was almost over and both of the judges were thinking about the outcome.  
  
Taj: It seems like this isn't over yet, Donkey Kong.  
  
DK: How true.  
  
Taj: We're almost done.  
  
DK: Yes, of course.  
  
Taj: We'll find out come tonight.  
  
[DK nodded. Meanwhile, Mario was on the roof of Daisy's castle, thinking...]  
  
Mario: I've studied up on the arena for a long time. I took on TT in the process and won against him. Beating Diddy should be a cakewalk, since getting the win over the stopwatch was, but why do I have a weird feeling about this... Ah, I'm probably just nervous right now, but I'll get over it.  
  
DKR  
  
It was nightfall at Fire Mountain and things were about to get under way. [Mario and Diddy were across from each other, staring at the item in front of them. Jugem was in the heart of the arena with a microphone in his left hand.]  
  
Jugem: Okay you two listen up, things have changed around here. Instead of three eggs in the nest just below me, there are two eggs. The rules are simple, you must collect and hatch three eggs one at a time. Eggs hatch after a specific time limit after being placed in your nest and can be stolen before they hatch. If the eggs are stolen, the time for them to hatch will be reset. This flag means a lot to both sides because it will determine the fate of the rest of this race. (flies over to Mario) Tell me how important this flag is to you.  
  
Mario: This flag is important just like all of the other flags. That's all I'm saying.  
  
Jugem: (flies over to Diddy) Same question.  
  
Diddy: (seeing flags) I really don't know, but what I can say is this is a must win for me. If I don't win here... there won't be a tomorrow for me or my team.  
  
Jugem: So this is like an "All or nothing" race for you?  
  
Diddy: Not for me, to me...  
  
Jugem: Well now, I wish you both the best of luck.  
  
[Jugem flew to the middle of the arena and into the nest to see the two eggs. Then he flew up within sight of the two competitors.]  
  
Jugem: This contest is for the flag. Contestants ready? GO!  
  
*  
  
Both racers blazed off and dove into the nest taking the egg and began flying back to their respected nests.  
  
Mario: So far so good, it looks like I might just win this one...  
  
Diddy: I'm not gonna' let you win!  
In the lobby outside, everyone watched on the monitor.  
  
Luigi: This is intense.  
  
TT: A lot is at stake on this one.  
  
Fuchsia: Why are they just sitting there?  
  
Timber: They are guarding their eggs. At least they both have let their eggs go.  
  
Pipsy: I just hope that no one gets hurt.  
  
KT: Pipsy baby, someone is getting hurt. These are our leaders going up against each other, not hoping that no one gets hurt is like asking for a draw.  
  
Timber: And we don't need that.  
  
Yoshi: Well, they have their second eggs now and... Mario used a kick in the jets.  
  
All else: What?  
  
Mario had a Boost and used it to get to his nest first and let his egg go, but he overshot the nest. Since it was nearby, he picked it up and placed it in the nest. When he turned around he saw that Diddy was already in his nest.  
  
Diddy: Mario, you don't know it yet, but I've locked onto you with my homer. You'll feel it soon enough.  
  
Yoshi: Something's wrong here.  
  
KT: Why do you say that?  
  
Yoshi: I know what's going to come up...  
  
As Mario and Diddy went to get their final egg, Diddy decided to let it fly. And when he fired it, Mario dove into the wall of the nest and hit the ground. In the lobby, faces were stunned. Except Yoshi, he just crossed his arms and closed his eyes.  
  
Yoshi: (-_-) Just as I thought, and now this game is tied...  
  
Yoshi was right. With that one shot, Diddy tied Race Wars. When the two came out of the double doors, Diddy had a big smile on his face, while Mario was upset.  
  
Diddy: We're still alive everyone. The wars go on...  
  
Yoshi: I knew that was going to happen. (to Diddy) hey Kong, that was pretty wise of you to do that at the last minute. I know I would've done the same thing.  
  
Diddy: Thanks Yoshi.  
[Mario walked over to Diddy. Though he was mad, he extended his hand.]  
  
Mario: I ain't happy, but I ain't a poor sport either. You kept it, just like you said you would. Nice job, Diddy.  
  
Diddy: Thanks Mario, but now you have to respect us... [The two shook hands.]  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-4 MKR-4  
*  
  
That night Diddy stared at his dorm ceiling.  
  
Diddy: I did it, we're still alive and kickin'. Mario, as you would say, "This is far from over..." And I believe that. We will go head to head again Mario, I know we will.  
  
MKR  
  
[Mario is in Daisy's bed, staring at the ceiling. He can't sleep right now, since he was thinking about the match he just lost. Daisy turned to her right and opened her eyes to see that her beau was still awake.]  
  
Daisy: (yawn) Mario, are you still upset at Diddy because of what happened today?  
  
Mario: No Daisy, not anymore.  
  
Daisy: Good.  
  
Mario: I'm upset at myself now.  
  
Daisy: Why?  
  
Mario: Because I know I could have done better.  
  
Daisy: It's not your fault that you lost Mario, so don't act like it was.  
  
Mario: I know, but...  
  
Daisy: (kisses Mario) Let's just get some sleep okay, you're starting to worry me?  
  
Mario: Fine. Have a good sleep Daisy, 'night.  
  
Daisy: Good night Mario, and relax. You can't win all the time, so don't expect to.  
[Daisy turned back to her left and went back to sleep. Mario turned Daisy's way and placed his hand under the cover and on Daisy. {You know, if you look closely at the screen, you can see that Mario's hand in on Daisy's right breast. Sorry Mario, no milk for you.}]  
  
Mario: (closed his eyes) You're right Daisy, I should relax. I will always face Diddy again, so I will get the chance to become even better later on down the road. (-_-) Next time, you won't be so lucky...  
  
The next morning, the team quietly ate at Peach's castle. Everyone was there, including Bowser.  
  
Shadow: You all do know what time it is, right?  
  
Yoshi: Time to kick butt?  
  
Shadow: No, not yet. It's time to change into your attires.  
  
Baby Mario: Fine with me.  
  
Shadow: Get suited and let's go.  
  
After the team got suited up, they headed for Donut Plains. Team DKR was already there.  
  
Timber: What's taking them so long?  
  
Mario: We're right over here.  
[The team finally showed up and were ready to race.]  
  
DK: Okay you racers. From this point on, we have begun... ENDGAME! Every race will be against your rival. Ladies, you're up first.  
  
[Peach drove up in her pink kart with a gold stripe, fire dress on and all. Then came Pipsy as usual.]  
  
DK: Okay ladies, shake hands. (ladies shook) Now let's get ready to race.  
[Both racers were all set to go. Victory was on both of their minds.]  
  
Taj: To break the tie... GO!  
[Both racers blast off and head around the first turn...]  
  
The end is coming..... 


	8. welcome to the endgame

RACE WARS  
PART 7  
ENDGAME PART 1  
  
As we last left off, Peach and Pipsy were racing for the flag in Donut Plains. The race is almost over and the two ladies are neck and neck. {That bites, I wanted to see the race from turn one. What a fluke.}  
  
Peach: I'm not going to let you cheap me out of this flag like you did on the first one. {...No comment.}  
  
Pipsy: Stop whining, we both got flags.  
  
Peach: I could've had that won for our side.  
  
Pipsy: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch! Shut up and race.  
  
[As both girls rounded the last corner, they read each other's minds and used their Speed Shields. As a result, both girls crossed at the same time as Taj and DK saw, seeing as they were on opposite sides of the starting line.]  
  
Judges: Draw race!  
  
Diddy: Another one?  
  
Mario: Oh well, we're still tied.  
  
Pipsy: That was disappointing...  
  
Luigi: Why, you tied the race?  
  
Pipsy: Not that, Peach's complaining. I had to listen to that since the third lap, I don't want to hear that while I'm racing. Put your girl in check, Luigi.  
  
Peach: I'll check you, you dirty rat.  
  
Pipsy: I'm a mouse... and a clean one at that. I haven't been soiled like you have, you spoiled brat.  
  
Peach: I got your spoiled brat right here. (slaps Pipsy with dictatorship)  
  
Pipsy: You'll pay for that!  
  
[And the catfight was on. Yoshi was cheering them on, as was Conker. They didn't even bother to break the fight up even when they were close by. The two were then scolded by their leaders.]  
  
Diddy & Mario: What are you doing?  
  
Conker & Yoshi: Let em' fight.  
  
Darion & Luigi: What do you mean, "Let em' fight?"  
  
Shadow: Good solution. They'll tire out eventually, just wait and see.  
  
Taj: I'm breaking this up.  
  
DK: Me too.  
[But before they could get the the catfight, a simple blast was aimed at their feet, which came from Shadow. The two judges eyed him angrily.]  
  
Shadow: I didn't stutter, let alone speak. Let them wear each other out, it will work.  
  
DK: I refuse to watch this.  
  
Taj: I couldn't have said it better.  
  
Shadow: That blast packs a punch you two, don't make me fire it at you.  
  
Bowser: I'll vouch for that, it hurts.  
  
A whole hour later, the two girls were still fighting. [The judges eyed Shadow again.]  
  
Shadow: Are you growing impatient already?  
(The judges shrugged and sat down.)  
  
Jugem: Are they tired yet?  
  
Darion & Luigi: Not really.  
[At noon, the two finally stopped fighting and were panting on all fours. {Shadow looks like he has a smile on his face... at least that's how his face would look if he had one...}  
  
Shadow: Now that you ladies are done-  
  
Pipsy: I'm not done!  
  
Darion, Diddy & the Marios: Ah, give it a break will ya'?  
(Both girls rose to their feet, dusted themselves off and with lifted noses, turned the other cheek)  
  
Timber: Can we eat now?  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-5 MKR-5  
*  
  
Now that the brawling has stopped and everyone is eating, things were starting to get back to normal. But Pipsy and Peach were leering each other as they ate.  
  
Taj: Let me remind all of you, especially you ladies, that we settle things on the track and in the arena, not in combat.  
  
Peach & Pipsy: (waving Taj off) Whatever.  
  
Shadow: Taj, a little advice. When two women fight, just shut up, get out of the way and wait for them to wear themselves out.  
  
Taj: (*\_/) Listen here! You are not going to--Elp.  
[Shadow had lifted his hand to where his eye level would be, causing Taj to be levitated above his seat.]  
  
Shadow: Refrain from using that tone of voice at me.  
  
Mario: Shadow...  
  
Shadow: Quiet! Look here genie, your magic is useless against me and I'm not one you should provoke. I do not listen to Mario, Kong, or even you, I am here to complete my mission. And until Toad comes back, you will have to put up with me.  
  
Fuchsia: Shadow, put Taj down.  
  
Shadow: Quiet Fuchsia. (to Taj) I am not a pawn on your chessboard, so don't treat me like one. You can't kill me, for I am immortal. I've been decapped already and am living proof of that. I only take orders from the one whom has summoned me, and none other than he... I tried to help you out and this is how you repay me? Don't expect to get any more help from me, now have a seat and enjoy lunch. (lowers hand and Taj falls in his seat exactly how he sat) {Layin' the smack down on Taj's candy ass.}  
  
After that was cleared up, everyone went to Sherbert Land to start the next event.  
  
DK: Okay, Baby Mario and Tip Tup, it's your turn now. (Baby Mario and Tip Tup shook hands) Okay, let's get ready to race... And don't relieve yourself on the track this time, okay.  
  
Baby Mario: (!U_U) Hey, I didn't have a diaper on and I really had to go.  
  
KT: Don't be a squirt, squirt.  
  
Baby Mario: (confused) ...I don't get it.  
  
Tip Tup: Don't pee on the track during the race, huh?  
  
Baby Mario: Oh.  
[The two rivals lined up and were ready to go. Jugem appeared with his pole in hand.]  
  
Jugem: This is for a tiebreaker you two, so drive with skill. And uh, beware of the penguins.  
  
Tip Tup: You watch too much TV.  
  
Jugem: Three laps you guys, so just blaze on the green light, huh?  
  
The lights changed slowly, but once the green light sounded, both racers zoomed off. Rounding the first turn, Tip Tup hit the penguin and Baby Mario was off to a good lead. [Tip Tup cleared his head while recovering and went on with the race.]  
  
Tip Tup: Stupid birds. How can someone race if they keep hitting them? I guess that's all apart of the challenge huh...  
  
(Baby Mario was at the second set of items, leading up into the cave. Hoping that the Bouncy Missile he had would be of good use, he used it after he entered the cave. As Tip Tup came across the set of items and the entrance to the tunnel, he hit the penguins. And to make things worse, Baby Mario's bouncy hit the turtle before he could recover from the penguins)  
  
Tip Tup: I HATE THESE BIRDS!  
[scene shift to the booths]  
  
Mario: You know Diddy, I think this is a bad day for Tip Tup.  
  
Diddy: This isn't fair.  
  
KT: Ah, stop whining. It's his fault he can't time the penguin's movements.  
  
Pipsy: I wouldn't like this course either if I kept hitting those penguins. Poor Tip Tup.  
  
Yoshi: Twenty coins says he snaps before the end of the first lap.  
  
Peach: Twenty-five says he snaps on the last turn.  
  
Shadow: Forty says he doesn't make the second turn of the next lap.  
  
Peach & Yoshi: You're on! (shakes Shadow's hands)  
  
Tip Tup managed to get through the cave without hitting a penguin, but as he crossed his first lap, he got reacquainted with the first penguin he hit.  
  
Tip Tup: (*\_/) Damn you stupid penguins! Get out of my way!  
  
[Baby Mario heard Tip Tup's yell and stopped his kart and turned around to see that the penguins that were near his rival weren't so playful anymore. Then he heard a splash and saw the big penguin in the sea.]  
  
Baby Mario: Uh oh.  
  
KT: Bad move on Tip Tup.  
  
Taj: Can someone explain why the big penguin is swimming towards Tip Tup?  
  
KT: Well from what one of the penguins told me, the King Penguin only leaves that island when he's... pissed... off.  
  
Judges & Mario Bros.: You're kidding right?  
  
Shadow & Yoshi: We'll find out. {Remember, Shadow's using telepathy.}  
"His highness" jumped out of the water by Tip Tup and with the aid of the angry nearby penguins, began to thrash the turtle into the ice, kart and all. [Baby Mario hopped back into his kart, laughing all the way into his lap as his allies laughed at him in the booths. Even DK was laughing at Tip Tup.]  
  
Taj: That's not funny!  
  
DK: Yes it is. Ha, ha, haha!  
  
KT: (crying in laughter) Serves him right! {To quote Nelson Mutts, "Ha ha!"}  
  
[By the time the penguins finished beating up Tip Tup, Baby Mario was about to cross his final lap.]  
  
Tip Tup: That's it, I quit! (Baby Mario crossed the line)  
  
On the track, Pipsy and Taj were fixing up Tip Tup as DK gave Baby Mario the RW flag.  
  
Pipsy: There you go, all better.  
  
Tip Tup: Thanks Pipsy.  
  
Taj: How do you feel, Tip Tup.  
  
Tip Tup: I'm really angry.  
  
Bowser: Don't feel bad "son". I'd be mad as hell too if a bunch of penguins kicked my ass like they just did to you.  
(Baby Mario, Bowser, DK and KT were rolling around on the icy track laughing at Tip Tup. DK and Pipsy held their heads down as they shook them)  
  
KT: (;_;) I'm gonna cry! {I'm already crying.}  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-5 MKR-6  
  
After the race, everyone had a break.  
  
DK: So, what was everyone's favorite part of Race Wars?  
  
KT: I would have to say when X and Shadow raced in Darkmoon caverns. That was a good race, I mean, a single hundredth of a second determined the race.  
  
Shadow: We will have our rematch soon...  
  
Darion: Yes, we shall.  
  
Bowser: That wasn't my favorite. Mine was when Tip Tup got his ass kicked by the penguins. (laughs)  
  
Mario: Give it a break already Bowser, it's not funny anymore.  
  
KT: Sure it is (chuckle), but don't get mad at us because Tip Tup shouldn't have insulted them on their homeland.  
[A shot into Tip Tup's head. He walks right up and knocks the taste out of KT's mouth, then we come back to reality. But instead of executing his thoughts, Tip Tup just stood up and walked away from the table.] (Bowser stopped laughing and then shrugged as Tip Tup left)  
  
Shadow: You don't need to say, I already know.  
[Baby Mario decided to go after him.]  
  
Mario: hey, where are you going?  
  
Baby Mario: (leaving) To the bathroom. I'll be back... and stay out of my food Wario.  
  
Wario: There you go blaming me again.  
[Mario shrugs it off. Tip Tup went around the DKR kart and hopped in his own.]  
  
Baby Mario: Where are you going?  
  
Tip Tup: Why does it matter to you?  
  
Baby Mario: Hello, we're going up against each other.  
  
Tip Tup: I'm out of here.  
  
Baby Mario: Is this because Koopa keeps insulting' you about getting your butt kicked by those penguins?  
  
Tip Tup: Don't remind me.  
  
Baby Mario: Look. Koopa's a meanie, everybody knows about that. He picked on everyone in the Ultimate Smash Bros. Tournament, including me. I was the youngest fighter in the whole thing, plus I only lasted four rounds, but I didn't give up. I cried a lot, but I didn't give up.  
  
Tip Tup: Hmmf.  
  
Baby Mario: KT was right ya' know. If you didn't say what you said on your second lap, that wouldn't have happened to you.  
  
Tip Tup: And what about KT?  
  
Baby Mario: KT laughs at everyone's misfortunes, even his own. He thinks that if you can't laugh at it, then what can you do?  
  
Tip Tup: Get mad.  
  
Baby Mario: Now what good does that do? Listen, let's not mention that right now and talk about something else. Something that will take this thought off your mind.  
  
Tip Tup: Like what?  
  
Baby Mario: How about being rivals with me? Now I'll admit, I never thought that I would go up against you. To be honest, I thought they would've pitted me up against someone like Krunch. However, they didn't... When you came to me and wanted to be my rival, I was a little worried about being at a disadvantage, but I don't think that way at all now.  
  
Tip Tup: Okay I'll admit it, When TT said that I should go up against you, I was really embarrassed at the thought, not to mention insulted. I mean, a baby... that kinda' stings your pride. But when we squared off at the Royal Raceway against you and lost, I was even more embarrassed. Then when I got back to my dorm that night and looked at the ceiling while laying in the cover, I realized that it was just me. I mean, even though you were sick and almost killed, I felt that you were an actual adversary for me. You really have it in you, Baby.  
  
Baby Mario: I know... now let's go eat, okay?  
  
Tip Tup: ...Okay, but how do I get over what just happened?  
  
Baby Mario: You can always laugh it off.  
  
Tip Tup: (^_^) Yeah, that's true.  
  
Though rivals, Baby Mario and Tip Tup went back to the table hand in hand. Maybe reasoning gave Tip Tup a second wind which was greatly needed, then again, maybe the turtle needed some more courage.  
*  
  
DKR  
  
Taj: Bowser, Krunch, step forward please. (both moved up) It's your turn to race here in Fossil Canyon. Shake hands and get ready to race your three laps.  
[After shaking, the two lined up at the line. Bowser feeling confident in his orange kart with a green stripe and his bracelet as his symbol, finally has the chance to show who is the real road racer.]  
  
Bowser: Ready to lose, "son"?  
  
Krunch: Ready when you are, "old man".  
  
Bowser: They say gator meat is tasty, let's see if it's true.  
  
Krunch: My win... That's all this is. "Spikey" won't beat me now.  
  
Taj: Okay you two, this is for the flag... GO!  
  
And off they went. The two were neck and neck at the start of the race and their teammates cheered them on. [Around the first turn, Krunch nabbed a Mine Box as Bowser went wide to snag a Bouncy. On the second zipper, Krunch blazed off and dropped the box on it. Bowser saw this and shot it.]  
  
Bowser: What a waste of a good weapon... Oh well, it won't matter when I win.  
[It wasn't long before Bowser caught up with Krunch.]  
  
Bowser: That trap was so cute that I had t waste my missile on it.  
  
Krunch: I'm glad you liked it.  
  
As they entered the tunnel, both teams watched in the booth. {Must they always do this?}  
  
Mario: I really don't know who to go for in this race.  
  
Shadow: Why do you say that?  
  
Mario: Bowser's my enemy and Krunch is my rival's friend.  
  
Diddy: Whoa, whoa, let's get a few things straight. Krunch is not my friend Mario.. not no way, not no how! We just... er... have an understanding right now.  
  
Luigi: Okay.  
  
Timber: As long as we don't pull anything threatening to the other kremlings, he won't be troubling us anytime soon.  
  
Pipsy: That's a nice story, but let's get back to the race now. {Tinky, Pipsy.}  
The two racers have exited the tunnel and are on the final turn. Bowser swung left, while Krunch took the right, and oddly enough, finished the first lap at the same time.  
  
Krunch: How ya' doing?  
  
Bowser: Bad... and you?  
  
Krunch: Worse. You know for rivals, we sure are on the same page.  
  
Bowser: Yeah, you're all right. But don't think I'm not going to give you all I've got, 'cause I am!  
  
Krunch: That's cool. Bye!  
[During that little chat, Krunch hit the zipper and took the lead. Bowser wasn't stressing though, he just fired his Homer and knocked Krunch over the second zipper. As the kremling recovered, Bowser hit the next zipper to pass him by.]  
  
Bowser: (:P) See ya'!  
Krunch wasn't easily defeated, and he proved that when he hit the zipper that shot him across the lake and took first from Bowser's claws.  
  
Bowser: I can do that too. (smirk)  
  
(Krunch led throughout the tunnel and dropped well placed slicks from his Slickpak and a Danger Bubble before the zipper. Bowser's Shield helped him through safely and popped the bubble) [Then, he grabbed his own Slickpak and fired them before him. Krunch slipped on one of them and crashed into the right wall.]  
  
Bowser: You don't mind that I oiled you down, do you? Haha, I kill myself.  
  
Krunch: I'll kill you too. Homer away!  
[Bowser heard the incoming missile and dodged it. All of the DKR racers were shocked to see that.]  
  
Diddy & Timber: How the hell did he do that?  
  
Mario Bros. : Amateurs. Homing Missiles aren't as perfect as you might think.  
  
KT: It'll take more than that to stop a quarter ton turtle.  
  
[As The final lap was left, Krunch was a couple of seconds behind Bowser. The "King" hit every zipper, and so did Krunch.]  
  
Bowser: His race huh? I BEG to differ.  
(Krunch passed him while using his Timed Boost and when he did, Bowser lined himself up for the shortcut)  
  
Bowser: Okay wise guy, let's see how you like this.  
Bowser lined himself up and executed the shortcut. But because he was so heavy, the turtle landed in the middle of the pool and started sinking. Tip Tup was busting up in laughter in the booths.]  
  
KT: That's messed up.  
  
Mario: What? Bowser landing in the water?  
  
KT: That too, but look at Tip Tup. He's belly up on the floor.  
  
Baby Mario: Kind of like how you were when he got beat up by those penguins huh?  
  
KT: (!o_O) Yeah, yeah.  
  
Tip Tup: (^_^,) Why aren't you laughing, KT? Isn't this funny to you?  
  
KT: No!  
  
Tip Tup: (^_^,) Now you know how I felt.  
  
After the race was over, Bowser finished his lap. Though he was mad, his didn't sweat it. But he saw Tip Tup rolling on the ground in laughter and approached him.  
  
Bowser: And you're laughing because?  
  
Tip Tup: (laughing) Because you had this match won. You were doing great until the hit that cut and landed in the water. When that happened, your chances of winning sunk like the Titanic... Just like you did!  
[Tip Tup began crying in laughter and Diddy, Timber and Taj joined him.]  
  
Taj: Sunk like the Titanic. Now that's funny!  
  
DK: (shrugged) Ah well, I guess it's tied again.  
  
Shadow: With everything that's happened right now, there's only one quote that can be said right now, Bowser.  
  
Bowser: And what might that be?  
  
Shadow: "Shit happens, so get on with your life."  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-6 MKR-6  
  
After that race, it was 3:45 p.m.. The racers all enjoyed a snack while they talked.  
  
Timber: So, where are we going to next, Taj?  
  
Taj: Pirate Lagoon, Timber.  
  
Waluigi: Isn't that where the sunken ship is?  
  
Taj: Of course. Conker, Wario, grab your 'crafts and head to the course.  
  
Wario: Water course huh? Things are going to get juicy.  
  
Mario Bros.: Juicy?  
  
Wario: ...What?  
  
Conker: Just you wait, I will break this tie.  
  
Wario: Yeah, whatever. Just watch me sink your hopes of winning.  
  
Diddy: Kind of like how Bowser sunk in Fossil Canyon.  
(Tip Tup and Taj cry in laughter)  
  
Bowser: Shit happens...  
  
MKR  
  
As the day began to end, Mario and the gang headed back to Peach's castle.  
  
Mario: I can't believe that the match is tied again.  
  
Luigi: It's not like we can't still win the match.  
  
Peach: Stop acting like a defenseless mouse you guys. We have to get things back in our favor.  
  
Fuchsia: Only Wario can do this, no one else. We just have to trust him.  
  
Luigi: Is that possible?  
  
Shadow: Listen to yourselves! You all sound confused, stop it now. I know how much you despise Wario, but we all shall soon see who will regain the lead. (leaves) You all need some self control and trust in your allies. When you learn to do this, I will return.  
  
Fuchsia: Wh.. where are you going?  
  
Shadow: Away, to see what was up with Toad. If I see him, I will tell him about what's going on. Until then...  
(Shadow closes the door and hops in Toad's kart. Then he drove off into the mountains)  
  
Shadow: This team needs improvement and badly.  
  
Toad: They will improve, Shadow. You said the right thing back there, and with those words, they will pull themselves together. How's it going otherwise?  
  
Shadow: Slow, but don't worry, I will prevail. However, I had to subdue a certain genie. To think, I tried to give him some advice...  
  
Toad: I know, but don't fret, give them this chance to redeem themselves.  
  
DKR  
  
Krunch: Conker man, you've got to win this one for us.  
  
Conker: This is just payback for me. How they just knocked me off the Skyscraper almost taking my life. Now... it's vengeance time!  
  
Timber: Are you okay?  
  
Conker: Just thinking, that's all. You can't believe how psyched up I am.  
  
Darion: ...I think I know...  
  
Conker: Only you would, wouldn't you X?  
  
Darion: Of course.  
  
Drumstick: At least now we can make a comeback against Mario and those clowns.  
  
TT: Conker, you should relax about everything. You don't need to feel any pressure right now, so let's relax and have a good break. This way, you can race great later.  
  
Conker: When are we racing anyway?  
  
Diddy: From what I heard from my uncle, after supper. So chill and get your strength high... you'll need it.  
  
Meanwhile, Taj and DK count the flags and record everything.  
  
Taj: Darkwater Beach. Toad and TT tie the match.  
  
DK: 1-1, tie match.  
  
Taj: Skyscraper. Wario, Bowser and KT beat Conker three on one.  
  
DK: 2-1, MKR leads.  
  
Taj: Darkmoon Caverns. X beats Shadow.  
  
DK: 2-2, tie match.  
  
Taj: Royal Raceway. Baby Mario beats Tip Tup while sick, pees on course and Peach gets mad.  
  
DK: 3-2, MKR leads again.  
  
Taj: Bowser's Castle. Three on one member Drumstick ties with Yoshi.  
  
DK: 4-3, MKR.  
  
Taj: Fire Mountain. Diddy wins contest against Mario.  
  
DK: 4-4, tie match.  
  
Taj: Donut Plains. Peach and Pipsy tie.  
  
DK: 5-5, match still tied.  
  
Taj: Sherbert Land. Tip Tup quits against Baby Mario.  
  
DK: Tip Tup gets butt kicked by penguins (chuckle). 6-5, MKR leads with a laugh.  
  
Taj: You're as bad as Bowser!  
  
DK: Not even close.  
  
Taj: (sigh) Let's move on. Fossil Canyon Krunch wins against Bowser who sinks like Titanic (cries laughing)! Tip Tup gets payback.  
  
DK: 6-6, tie a-gain. You know what would be nice to see? Diddy and his friends actually take the lead.  
  
Taj: Am I hearing you right? What are you saying? {To quote the Hurricane, "What's up with that?"}  
  
DK: Look, it's not that I'm tired of seeing my friends take the lead on my nephew's friends. But it seems that no matter how hard they try, they just can't seem for some reason to actually take the lead in Race Wars.  
  
Taj: That's a good point, not to mention a right one. Diddy just hasn't come up wind and lead at all yet.  
  
Though this was true, the thing that none of them expected was that Diddy was listening to them the whole time. (Diddy held his head down in shame as he walked away)  
  
Diddy: I can believe Uncle Donkey saying this, but Taj? Boy you really don't know how much that hurts... (\_/) But that's all going to change, just you wait and see. We'll show you... you and Mario and his friends.  
  
DK: I know I'm sounding like I've lost faith in my nephew, but I haven't. Never. How can I lose faith in him, he's my nephew?  
  
Taj: I don't know. Are you supposed to?  
  
DK: Of course not. (:P) Say Taj, who's the genie lady in this picture?  
  
Taj: I don't know of any genie lady!  
  
DK: (hands picture to Taj) What about that one?  
  
Taj: (blushing) Oh, that's just an old friend.  
  
DK: More like an old flame to me.  
  
Taj: Knock it off, will ya'?  
  
MKR  
  
[Wario stands in front of his house in the wind, holding one of his bombs. Waluigi walks up to his brother's left.]  
  
Waluigi: It's almost time. Ready to whoop him one more time?  
  
Wario: Always have been, always will be. It's time for more squirrel beatin'.  
  
Waluigi: It looks like we have this won.  
  
Wario: Of course. Well let's go, I can't wait anymore.  
  
Waluigi: I'm right behind you.  
[The two jump in their hovercrafts and head to Peach's castle.]  
*  
  
DKR  
  
It was now time for the racers to finally got down to business. Taj was with Conker in the lagoon, waiting for Wario to show up. Conker: Where is that no good, chunky butt, crude son of a-  
  
Wario: Okay, I'm here.  
[Wario showed up with DK and the rest of the MKR racers.]  
  
Taj: Now that you're here Wario, we can get down to the race. Okay, shake hands.  
[Just so he can be a good sport, Wario held his hand out to Conker. But Conker did something that no one would think he would do, he spit in Wario's glove.] (Wario laughed for a while, then spat in Conker's face. Conker flipped Wario off, {Ah, you're not supposed to blur the finger.} Wario flipped Conker off and the two began to fight)  
  
Yoshi: All right, another one.  
  
DK: First Peach and Pipsy, now Conker and Wario?  
  
Mario: Conker didn't have to spit in Wario's open gesture though.  
  
Baby Mario: Maybe Taj should just let them fight.... (Conker and Wario fall into the water) O-kay, maybe we should stop them.  
  
Timber: Hey Luigi, where's Shadow?  
  
Luigi: Don't worry about him, he went to see Toad.  
[Meanwhile, Wario and Conker were lifted out of the water by Taj's magic.]  
  
Taj: I see that you forgot what I said.  
  
Wario: This wouldn't have happened if that rodent didn't spit in my glove.  
  
Conker: Kiss my ass, Wario!  
  
Wario: My left foot would be glad to do that!  
  
Mario: Knock it off you guys. Listen, you can whoop on each other later, but get the flag now!  
  
After the two were calmed and somewhat reformed, they dried themselves off, went into their 'crafts and got ready to race.  
  
Taj: Now that the friendly spar is over, we can get to the flag race. This is a three lap race and I want to see those Missiles fly! BOMBSAWAY you two... GO!  
  
[Both racers blazed off down the line. On the line, things were neck and neck, but on the first turn, Conker took the lead. Wario responded with a Thunder Bullet and ran over Conker.]  
  
Wario: See you later, roadkill (laugh).  
  
Conker: That does it! Now it's time to dominate!  
[Entering the tunnel on the second turn, Wario seemed to have things made. However, Conker made sure that Wario was in for a good run for his coins, despite the fact he was two whole seconds behind Wario. Exiting into the third turn, Wario missed the zipper, but Conker hit it and the race was tied again.] In the booths, the racers watched as they hit turns four and five.  
  
Mario: This race seems tight.  
  
Diddy: Don't get your hopes up just yet, this race just started.  
  
Mario: I'm not doing that, I'm simply foreshadowing.  
  
Timber: How about foreshadowing team DKR taking the lead?  
  
Mario: Sorry, I just don't see that...  
  
Diddy & Timber: Not yet, anyway.  
  
As the second lap came to it's first turn, this time, the Thunder Bullet hit the other driver and the other driver got ran over.  
  
Conker: Who's the roadkill, now?  
  
Wario: Cocky huh? Well let's see you win...  
[As Conker entered the tunnel, he had a good two second lead on Wario, but Wario had an evile grin on his face.]  
  
Wario: I hope you run into my trap...  
  
Conker: I'm winning, I'm winning, I'm--Damn!  
[Conker was drunk on his own pride that he didn't see the Mine Box that Wario placed on the previous lap and ran into it. {Ha ha!} Wario then regained first.]  
  
Wario: Silly Conker, Trix are for kids!  
  
Conker: This isn't over yet.  
  
As the race went into the final lap, each racer was neck and neck. They stayed that way for the whole race, even while crossing the line.  
  
DK: Great, another tie. I guess it's seven up huh?  
  
Taj: Of course it is... and once again, the rounds are even for both sides.  
  
Shadow: I see that I didn't miss much, but I'm not back yet.  
  
Mario: Where are you now, Shadow?  
  
Shadow: On my way back right now, but I'll see you in the morning. Oh, by the way, Toad sends his love and will be back ASAP. He still has a few things to sort out, but other than that, he's okay.  
  
Fuchsia: That's great to hear.  
  
Shadow: Oh, he did want me to deliver a message to you Fuchsia.  
  
Fuchsia: What is it?  
  
Shadow: "Don't worry about me so much, I'm fine. Yes I miss you too, but don't breakdown while I'm away, okay?"  
  
Fuchsia: Okay Toad, for you.  
[scene change to Shadow driving back to Mushroom Kingdom in Toad's kart.]  
  
Shadow: She's a good mushroom to you Toad, a fine prize for yourself.  
  
Toad: I'm glad that you like her...  
  
Shadow: She wants to be my friend.  
  
Toad: So, be her friend.  
  
Shadow: I don't make friends.  
  
Toad: Then what am I supposed to be?  
  
Shadow: An ally.  
  
Toad: Well, Fuchsia wants to be another one of your allies. Will you let her?  
  
Shadow: Perhaps, but only if she is worthy... Only time will tell if she is.  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-7 MKR-7  
  
The end continues..... 


	9. MKR runs the road

RACE WARS  
PART 8  
ENDGAME PART 2  
  
[A missile flies in through air. After a few seconds, it hit another one and both explode.] Well it seems that the battle here at Block Fort is going out with a bang. {Bad pun for the narrator.} Already, it's down to TT and Fuchsia in this free-for-all match. To think that we wouldn't have seen anymore of these, but Donkey Kong is in control of the scoring system so anything is possible.  
  
Jugem: Well people, it's been a whole hour and things are really heating up here. I'm so glad that I'm above the action, I mean, It's ugly down there!  
[In the booths, both teams watched the battle.]  
  
Diddy: How long is this going to go on?  
  
Luigi: I don't know, Diddy. But if things go for Fuchsia just like they did in the trials, TT's springs and gears are going to get knocked.  
  
The memory of Fuchsia's chicken run with Paratroopa in the trials is fresh in the minds of the MKR racers. Every last one of them are hoping to see that again.  
  
TT: There you are Fuchsia, in plain sight. It's time to ram you and win this match.  
[TT ran at full speed towards Fuchsia as she was oblivious to the danger she was in... or was she? She was just sitting in her kart in the heart of the arena. Knowing that she wasn't going to move, or at least that what it seemed like, TT hit his boost to ram Fuchsia.]  
  
TT: I got you now, Fuchsia!  
  
Fuchsia: Oh really? Come and get me then you silly little watch. You may have two balloons to my one, but I cleverly surrounded myself with Danger Bubbles. What you don't know will hurt you! (giggle)  
  
[Seeing the expression on her face, TT hit the brakes, but it was too late. He ran into a bubble and was lifted off the ground. Fuchsia did a spin turn and left.]  
  
Timber: I never would've imagined that.  
  
Tip Tup: Yeah, that was genius.  
[TT was then dropped to the ground and on touchdown, he went into reverse and went the other way. As he turned left, Fuchsia knocked TT just like she did to Paratroopa. In the booths...]  
  
Team DKR: (O_O) HOLY SHIT!  
  
Luigi: She did it again.  
  
Jugem: Damn! Fuchsia rocked TT and took the flag with authority! Once again, the "Love Crusader" gives another lesson in Hard Knocks 101. MKR wins.  
  
KT: Just like in practice! You okay Baby?  
  
Baby Mario: My diaper isn't soaked like the last time, but I do need to be changed.  
[Once again, Fuchsia sits in her kart with a smile of victory on her face. She then took off her hat and let her hair down.]  
  
Fuchsia: I hope next time you do that properly TT, maybe you can send 'em flying just like I did to you... and to Para. I like this game of chicken.  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-7 MKR-8  
  
Once the match was over, lunch was served. So many edibles to eat and plenty of time.  
  
Timber: I have to give you credit Fuchsia, I would've fallen right into your trap just like TT did.  
  
Fuchsia: Thanks for your praises Timber, they're always welcome.  
  
TT: You just caught me off guard, that's all.  
  
Fuchsia: TT, are you mad? Don't be, you didn't know that I did that with those bubbles. At least you have some idea on what to expect in the future.  
  
Conker: Stop being a crybaby... Uh, no offense.  
  
Baby Mario: None taken.  
  
TT: So you think I'm having a tantrum huh? Do I look like I'm wearing diapers? No offense.  
  
Baby Mario: None taken.  
  
Bowser: No, but you sound like a kid again.  
  
TT: Ah, shut up.  
  
Mario: Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's just eat everyone.  
  
Bowser & Fuchsia: TT started it.  
  
TT: Hmf, tattletale.  
  
DK: Okay everyone, calm down. There are only eight flags left to give out, as there are four courses on both sides left to race. Team captains, I want you to choose four racers from your side. They will determine the last four flags on each side.  
  
Diddy: I already chose my four racers and they are TT, Drumstick, X and Myself.  
  
DK: Well Mario, choose your four racers. But you can't choose the rivals of Diddy's racers, so keep that in mind.  
  
Mario: ...Peach, Yoshi, Bowser.... (evil grin) and Luigi.  
  
Taj: Well then, I guess this coin will do just fine. There are two sides to this coin, each side has the team's initials on it. All you have to do is flip it Donkey Kong and you can decide which side they go to. I will decide which course they will race from this chosen side, good luck to all of you.  
  
DK: Now as you know Diddy, your side is down by one point. You have eight chances to regain the lead. Mario, your team has eight chances to win the match. The end is almost over so let's get down to the road.  
  
Shadow: I see everything's coming right down to the wire.... just as I planned. I came back in the nick of time.  
  
[Shadow walked toward the MKR judge as the eclipse darkened the sky. He walked towards his team and stood in front of Darion.]  
  
Shadow: You my friend shall race me on Rainbow Road. Whenever that course comes up, that is where we have our rematch... since it's obvious that we won't be racing in Darkmoon Caverns again.  
  
Darion: Hey, it's cool. I don't have a problem with that.  
  
Shadow: Very good then, Darion.  
  
Mario: Darion? I thought you were Racer X?  
  
Yoshi: So did I.  
  
Shadow: You thought right. He is Racer X, but now you know who his real entity is as of now. It's fun to have a racing name, isn't that right Toad?  
  
Toad: Of course it is.  
  
Fuchsia: Toad, where are you?  
  
Toad: Out of sight and out of mind and body.  
  
Darion: Wait a minute. Shadow is in Toad's body?  
  
Toad: No, no, no, no, no. Shadow has his own body and you're looking at it. My body is resting in bed, but I've been listening every now and then by telepathy with Shadow. Relax, everything is fine where I am and my sister is okay. As for myself, I'm out of town right now, but will return shortly. So TT, can Fuchsia send ya' flying or what?  
  
TT: Wild blue yonder, Toad. Ha, ha, ha.  
  
Mario: Are you using astroprojection Toad?  
  
Toad: No way. If I did that, I would be Lost forever. I've already been killed once, and yes... death is a bitch. I'll see you all later... and Fuchsia?  
  
Fuchsia: Yes?  
  
Toad: Put your mind at ease for the moment okay? Stop worrying about me!  
  
Fuchsia: Okay, for you Toad.  
  
Toad: Good. Knock em' dead Luigi.  
[The eclipse finally passed and with it, all connection with Toad. {Is anyone else confused besides me? 'Cause I didn't get this part.}]  
  
Shadow: So DK, where are we going now?  
  
DK: Let's find out.  
  
[DK flips the coin and it lands on the ground MKR side up.]  
  
DK: Taj, choose the course, we aren't goin' anywhere.  
  
Taj: (spins the MKR wheel) Give me a moment... (the wheel stops spinning) Everyone to Yoshi Valley! Karts and hovercrafts only.  
  
*  
  
In Yoshi Valley, the two sides were trying to determine who would race for them. Both sides knew that the wrong choice would bring downfall and loss of a flag to their side, but the DKR racers were already down one point.  
  
DK: Well, seeing as these are the last four races of each side, I'm going to up the ante here. The side gets to choose who will race for them. Yoshi: We don't need to decide here. Bumper, step up to the plate.  
  
Bumper: And why should I? I'm not one of the chosen four to decide our fate.  
  
Yoshi: To quote The Rock, "It doesn't matter if you're one of the chosen four!" get your ass up here at the line.  
  
Bumper: You better cough up a better reason than that Yoshi, if you want me to race you.  
  
Yoshi: How's this you sissy? DK didn't let Mario chose the rivals to the chosen four on your side because they will be racing them. Though it's true that you're not, quote unquote "chosen," you are my rival. Now get in your kart, get up here at the line and get ready to lose.  
  
Bumper: And what makes you so sure that you'll win this race? And I don't believe in that "homefield advantage" crap.  
  
Yoshi: Hel-lo? You obviously haven't figured out my course, so listen up. Unlike all the other racetracks in the Mushroom Kingdom, this course does not have a "straight line" for you to follow. This course is full of twists and turns, many places where you can fall off and a dangerous shortcut. This is a real-life maze and you can get lost if you go the wrong way.  
  
Bumper: I'll manage.  
  
Yoshi: (-_-) Whatever. Listen, I'll even help you out. If you follow me for the first lap, I will tell show you how to-  
  
Bumper: I said I will manage! What part of that don't you understand?  
  
Yoshi: The part about you managing to get through this course.  
  
Taj: Okay, break it up you two. We already had a couple of fights, let's not have another one.  
  
Yoshi: I'm just trying to help him.  
  
Bumper: I don't want OR NEED your help, got it? Is that clear?  
  
Yoshi: Clear as tapwater, but you'll be sor-ry.  
  
Bumper: (*\_/) Can we start the race already?!  
  
Yoshi: Yup, he's mad. {Tch, ya' think?}  
[Jugem showed up before them.]  
  
Jugem: Well, you know how many laps this is going to be, so good luck Yoshi.  
  
Bumper: Hey, what about me?  
  
Jugem: I hope you get lost.  
  
DK: Jugem?  
  
Jugem: Hey, he shouldn't deny help. But hey, it's like Tiger of the Wind said. "You can lead a Golem to water, but then again, maybe you can't." {I didn't know he watched Monster Rancher.... Ironic.} Just blaze on the green light.  
  
As the green light sounded off, both racers flew down the line into the first turn. On his way into the valley, Bumper went left as Yoshi went right.  
  
Yoshi: I turn right, then I turn left, then turn right again, then one more left. If anyone finds a quicker way out of this valley, let me know and I'll take it.  
  
Yoshi followed his own directions and made it to the u-turn, but hit the shortcut instead. Meanwhile, Bumper was going in circles.  
  
Bumper: How the hell do I get out of here? Maybe I should've just followed Yoshi after all... Yoshi was about to cross the line and he waved at his friends. [When Yoshi got to the line, he came to a full stop, got out of his kart and drank some Happy Fruit Juice.]  
  
DK & Mario: Yoshi, what are you doing? Yoshi: It's called "giving up a fair chance" you guys, besides, I'm on my break. {Now how cold is that?}  
  
Diddy: Rub it in, Yoshi, just like the hare did in the fairy tale.  
  
Yoshi: (sipping juice) Listen Diddy, slow and steady never wins the race, but if you insist... See ya'!  
  
(Yoshi finished his drink and hopped back in his kart and continued the race) Poor bumper, the badger still hasn't found his way out of the a-maze- ing race track.  
  
Bumper: I don't want to admit it, but I am ready to give up.  
  
Yoshi: Hey bumper, do you want my help now?  
  
Bumper: Go away!  
  
Yoshi: Okay, I will. (drives off)  
(Bumper watches Yoshi drive off and then gives a sigh and rolls his eyes)  
  
Bumper: Hey, wait for me! [Yoshi led Bumper out of the maze and headed for the u-turn, but as he did in the first lap, he took the shortcut and made it again.]  
  
Bumper: Hmm, I'll do that next lap, even thought it doesn't matter that I lost...  
[Yoshi crossed his second lap as Bumper finally completed his first one. His friends cheered him on as he tailed Yoshi through the final lap.] (Yoshi looked around and saw that he had company)  
  
Yoshi: I'm glad to see ya' and I mean it.  
  
Bumper: Thanks.  
  
Yoshi: You know, If you would've just listened to me, you wouldn't have got lost.  
  
Bumper: I know that now.  
  
Yoshi: Don't try the shortcut though, you're not ready for it.  
  
Bumper didn't listen to Yoshi and as the dino took it and made it for a third time, bumper took it and fell off.  
  
Yoshi: (shaking his head) I told you that you weren't ready for it. Stupid monkey, you just don't like to swallow your pride... I had to when it practiced that and fell off all those many times.  
[Suddenly, Jugem tailed Yoshi.]  
  
Jugem: Why did you do it? Yoshi: Help him? I was trying to be a sport, that's all. Hey, if you're talking to me, then-  
  
Jugem: Bobby's got him.  
  
Yoshi: Did you have to jinks him though?  
  
Jugem: Jinks him? I didn't know you were one of the supers, Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi: I'm not, but he sure is. Hahahahaha!  
  
Yoshi eventually won the race and after five seconds from his finish, bumper crossed the line. After Bumper finished the race, DK gave Yoshi the flag.  
  
Yoshi: Hey Bumper, guess what?  
  
Bumper: I told you so?  
  
Yoshi: No, guess again.  
  
Bumper: You're the man when it comes to this track?  
  
Yoshi: True, but that's not what I was going to say.  
  
Bumper: Then what were you going to say?  
  
Yoshi: Get used to chugging your pride in your stomach. If you would have done that and followed me for the first lap, maybe there could have been a good race here at my valley.  
  
Diddy: Are you still rubbing it in?  
  
Yoshi: No, but if you want me too-  
  
Diddy: No, don't.  
  
Yoshi: Just what I thought. Oh by the way Bumper, catch.  
[Yoshi throws a can of Happy Fruit Juice at Bumper and he catches it.]  
  
Bumper: What's this for?  
  
Yoshi: For swallowing your pride. Cheers!  
  
Bumper: (^_^) Oh well. Cheers.  
[The two racers clanged cans and guzzled the juice.]  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-7 MKR-9  
  
[Everyone is at the crossroads waiting for the next race to be determined. DK flipped the coin and it was DKR side up.]  
  
Taj: So, where are we going next?  
  
DK: Your side.  
  
Taj: Good, I already picked where we are going during the race in Yoshi Valley. Everyone grab your planes and head to Everfrost Peak.  
  
DKR  
  
With their planes reved up and ready to go, the racers await who's going head to head in Everfrost Peak.  
  
Taj: Diddy this is on our side, so you get to choose which one of your four to race.  
  
PT: Hey, you guys actually showed up. I knew if I stayed here that you would show up eventually.  
  
Mario & Yoshi: Paratroopa, what are you doing here?  
  
PT: Practicing and waiting. Hey Fuchsia, what the hell do you think you're doing, trying to kill me at practice?  
  
Fuchsia: No hard feelings, Para. Don't feel too bad about it, it's only practice.  
  
PT: You almost killed me... Oh, I see that you're here.  
  
Shadow: Of course I'm here you silly turtle. Why wouldn't I be here?  
  
PT: You wouldn't be here if Toad couldn't cut things. I don't care what all the others think about you, but you're just a servant to me.  
  
Shadow: I am no servant! But I wouldn't be talking, because you were once a servant before you were liberated. I was never, shall never, and am still not a servant.  
  
Diddy: Let's do it, Drumstick.  
  
Drumstick: Okay, here we go.  
  
PT: Great, a race against someone.  
  
KT: Hey, Drumstick's my rival, not yours.  
  
PT: What's wrong cuz, you can't let your blood have one race against the cock?  
  
Drumstick: Hey!  
  
PT: Oh, you're not a cock? Then you must be a hen?  
  
Drumstick: I am not a dick!  
  
Baby Mario & Bowser: Ah... no.  
  
DK: What was that all about?  
  
Baby Mario: I had a wisecrack to say, but I chose not to.  
  
Bowser: I have a comment, but I'm gonna' be a sport and do nothing.  
  
Drumstick: Is there a reason why you're calling me a cock?  
  
PT: Because that is what you are.  
  
KT: Are we gonna race or not?  
  
Drumstick: Yeah, but not against you. Let's do it, Paratroopa.  
  
PT: It's time to fly.  
[PT and Drumstick lined up at the line.]  
  
Drumstick: I'm a rooster, not the common cock-of-the-rock.  
  
PT: Cocks are roosters you silly fool, just admit it.  
  
Drumstick: I'll see that you eat my fumes.  
  
PT: Eat dees nuts.  
  
Taj: Okay people, GO!  
  
And off they went. Paratroopa and Drumstick were neck and neck for a good race today. [Across each turn, PT and Drumstick swapped the lead.]  
  
PT: Come on you cock, shake those tail feathers.  
  
Drumstick: Don't get cocky!  
  
PT: I'm glad you like me.  
  
Drumstick: Don't start, you.  
  
[The two went over the first arc and into the cave neck and neck. Both teams watched in the booth and were amazed... at least a good majority of them.]  
  
TT: This is a good race.  
  
Diddy: I agree.  
  
KT: I just hope he doesn't make me look bad.  
As both racers exited the tunnel, they kept this race as cleanly matched as possible. As every turn came and went, so did pole for each racer. And at the end of the first lap, there was a tie.  
  
Timber: This is a really good race. It's so good that I don't know who to route for.  
  
Diddy: (\_/) What do you mean you don't know who to route for?! For your team, duh!  
  
Mario: 'Ey, lighten up will ya'? Timber made a good point, this is a good race.  
[PT managed to pick up the first weapon of the race, a Timed Boost. He was kind of confused on what it was since he wasn't around to figure out what the weapons looked like.]  
  
PT: What the hell is this thing? Oh well, I won't find out unless I use it now won't I. Oh crap, If I let go now... I guess I will have to hold it for a while.  
  
Paratroopa went a good ways into the race while holding onto his Timed Boost, but when the tunnel came up, he let it fly. Literally. He was boosting through the cave, around the turns, cross the line and it died on the first turn of his final lap. Everyone in the booths were quite amazed at this feat.  
  
Timber: Could someone tell me what weapons that was?  
  
DK: I really don't know which one, but maybe it was a Boost.  
  
Shadow: Fools, it's obvious what that was. That was a Timed Boost.  
  
KT: That is not a Timed Boost!  
  
Shadow: Silly turtle. I know weapons and that was a Timed Boost. It may not be the way you used it, but that's the weapon.  
  
Judges: Explain.  
  
Shadow: When we normally use a Timed Boost, we boost over and over again. Your cousin found a way to use that boost so he could harness it's true power without having to use it more than once. That should cover the new way to use a Timed Boost, so let's get back to the race. {Well said.}  
  
This new way of using the Timed Boost proved useful to Team MKR. Drumstick, though raced with his heart, just couldn't catch Paratroopa and lost the match. At the finish line, the winged turtle held the flag in his left hand with pride.  
  
PT: Hey, Drumstick, it's back to the henhouse for you (laughing)!  
  
Drumstick: You just got lucky with that weapon. What was that anyway, Taj?  
  
Taj: That was the Timed Boost.  
  
Drumstick: (O_O) You're kidding me, right?  
  
Taj: Nope.  
  
PT: Thanks for the race cuz, now I'll be leaving. Here's one for our side, courtesy of me... Paratroo-pa!  
(PT throws the flag to Mario and flies out of Snowflake Mountain)  
  
DK: It would be nice if your side took the lead for just once, Diddy.  
  
Mario: C'mon DK, leave him alone. Don't pressure your nephew, 'sides, he's doing the best he can.  
  
Bowser: Maybe we should spot you some points so you losers can finally try to win against us. But then again, you won't be able to, hahahahahahahaha!  
  
Mario: Bowser, that's enough. It's bad enough we're winning for them, don't become a pain in someone's side.  
  
Timber: Or someone's ass.  
  
Bowser: I heard that tigers taste good.  
  
Timber: Really? (holding crotch) Then why don't you have some sausage you sick son of a-  
  
Judges: 'Ey, knock it off!  
  
Bowser: Hold on, it's okay. I know just who's hungry.  
[Bowser gave a toot of his fingers and from under the ground, came Chomper.]  
  
Bowser: Say hello to my pet chomp. Hey Chomper, the tiger cub over there is your next meal.  
  
Timber: Uh oh!  
  
[Chomper charged at Timber, who ran away with post haste, as Bowser was laughing all the while.]  
  
Bowser: Don't run away kid, he just wants some sausage. Haha, I'm bad!  
  
Mario: I haven't seen him bring Chomper out since the Ultimate Smash Bros. Tournament.  
  
Luigi: Boy, it sure got faster.  
  
Baby Mario: That is one big chomp.  
  
Shadow: I've seen bigger chomps than that. It's still a baby.  
  
Mario Bros.: (!O_O) That's a baby!?  
  
DK: Bowser, get that pet of yours under control, would ya'?  
  
Bowser: Fine. (shrugged) Some people just can't take a joke...  
(Bowser grabbed Chomper by the chain and swung him around. Then he let Chomper fly into the horizon) {That brought back memories.}  
  
Timber: Thank you for that so much Donkey Kong, I needed a rescue.  
  
Diddy: So where are we going next Taj?  
  
Taj: Windmill Planes.  
  
Pipsy: Great, another flying course. Can I drive there?  
  
Diddy & Taj: NO!  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-7 MKR-10  
*  
  
[Windmill Planes, the course that shows true merit to pilots.]  
  
Taj: Here we are in Windmill Planes everyone.  
  
Mario: Hey, I have an announcement to make.  
  
Taj: Go ahead, Mario.  
  
Mario: Thank you. Listen up DKR racers this is very important to your survival. As you know, both sides have ten race courses and three battle courses and that there's a flag to-  
  
Krunch: Stop your yapping' and get to the point!  
  
Mario: Okay fine. We, the Mario Kart Racers have ten, count 'em, ten flags.  
  
Timber: So, what's the point?  
  
Mario: Split down the line, we should have twelve flags. But if we win any three of the six flags left, Race Wars belongs to us. So Diddy, if you want to fulfill your uncle's wishes, you better get with the program... pronto!  
  
Diddy: If you're so sure that you can win, then get in your plane and let's go Mario.  
  
Mario: Are you sure you want to do this?  
  
Diddy: You lost the last time you went up against me Mario Mario. Are you afraid to lose again?  
  
Mario: .... (!-_-) Not really... I just thought you would race me on the next course.  
  
Diddy: I'm making him sweat guys. And you call yourself a leader? If you can't race me now, then why don't you just forfeit?  
  
Mario: I will never do that to anyone I'm going up against! Let's go.  
  
[So Mario lined up right next to Diddy.]  
  
Mario: Just remember that you beat me in a battle, Diddy. Now let's see how well you race.  
  
Diddy: You're just talk. I'm going to win AGAIN.  
  
Mario: I am going to take so much pleasure in proving you wrong, Diddy. You just can't imagine. What I lacked in battle, I will do more than make up for in racing. Just you watch and see.  
  
Taj: Okay captains, this race and the rest are important for your victory here in Race Wars. Good luck to all of you, and to the both of you.  
  
Mario: (seeing flags) It's time to take this race home.  
  
Diddy: (seeing flags) Not without a fight, Mario. Not without a fight...  
  
Taj: Good now let's do it. GO!  
[Both racers blast off in a blaze of glory. Mario decided to hit the zipper under the second windmill and nabbed a Homer while Diddy nabbed a Bouncy. Once into the tunnel, Diddy shot it behind him as Mario shot fired his Homer and both collided. {This looked familiar.} Out of the tunnel, both racers hit the zipper under the windmill one by one with Diddy in front.  
  
Diddy: Hey, Mario, you're losing!  
  
Mario: First lap, Diddy. First lap.  
  
[Across the next turn, both racers were neck and neck.]  
  
Diddy: Are you going to admit defeat Mario?  
  
Mario: I never concede!  
  
Diddy: Fine, then I will take it out of you.  
On the closing tunnel, Mario and Diddy were neck and neck. Things stayed that way as the leaders passed the line, ending the first lap. [In the booths...]  
  
TT: Another close match.  
  
KT: Let's hope that a boost isn't the only thing that determines this flag like the last one.  
  
Across the first turn, both racers blazed off since the had the proper boosts to do it with.  
  
Mario: You are going to lose this wars and finally find out what it's like to really race.  
  
Diddy: Look who's been sent to school.  
[Scene change to booths.]  
  
Peach: You know what? Those two really want each others plates on a silver platter.  
  
Pipsy: It's a sad shame, you know.  
  
Peach: At least their doing this without fighting physically.  
  
Fuchsia: Kind of like how you two did?  
  
Peach & Pipsy: Don't rub it in, Fuchsia.  
  
Fuchsia: You girls fought, not me. Okay, let's talk about something different. Hey Pipsy, you look a little pudgy. Are you pregnant?  
  
Darion: (\_/) You better not be!  
  
Pipsy: That's just baby fat. No offense.  
  
Baby Mario: None taken.  
  
Pipsy: Are you pregnant?  
  
Fuchsia: Of course not. Someone in the kingdom is, but we aren't sure.  
  
Peach: It's not me, my results came in the other day and they were negative.  
  
Pipsy: And you believe them?  
  
Peach: Hey I don't know about you, but my gynecologist is the best money can buy.  
  
Shadow: Wait a minute, ladies. This is a racetrack, not a hospital. Stop talking about that crap!  
  
Fuchsia: Shadow, have you ever did it before?  
  
Shadow: That's irrelevant right now. Let's get back to the race.  
  
Timber: Hey, don't get mad because we found out that you were a virgin.  
  
Shadow: Kong, do something.  
  
DK: Well, have you had some in your life?  
  
Shadow: Luigi, where are they at in the race?  
  
Luigi: I was wondering that myself, Shadow. Have you had some?  
{I better leave this scene unfinished for Shadow's sake.}  
  
After all of that talking, the racers are on the second turn of their final lap. Both racers are neck and neck now as they were during chit chat of Shadow's sexuality. [Diddy and Mario kept the race going for a good while neck and neck through every turn, but they soon switched turns and places. [As they came down the final stretch, the match was tied.]  
  
KT: Here they come.  
(The two went down the line and finished at the same time)  
  
Taj: Another draw.  
  
DK: You said it.  
  
On the track, Diddy and Mario were in their planes.  
  
Mario: Equals baby, equals.  
  
Diddy: Yeah, yeah, equals.  
(Both shake hands)  
  
Mario: One more race over Diddy. Diddy: You said it. But just remember, a tie means a flag.  
  
Mario: True, but you're still down, by three.  
  
Diddy: Yeah, I know.  
  
Mario: One down, two more to go.  
  
Diddy: Enjoy while you can.  
  
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-8  
  
MKR-11  
The end is coming..... 


	10. the rematch

Something for the readers: So no one said I didn't say it for this chapter, reading disgression is advised.  
  
RACE WARS  
PART 9  
ENDGAME: SHADOW RUN  
  
[One a.m. at night. Darion stares at the ceiling as Pipsy sleeps in their bed.]  
  
Darion: Hmmm, something is up with that Shadow character. Who is he really, and why is he here? I still think that Shadow is to Toad as Racer X is to myself. I will find out who he really is... when, is the question? (Pipsy turns to her boyfriend) At least someone can sleep, I'm not tired at all. Maybe a walk will help.  
(Darion got out of bed, and once he did, Pipsy woke up)  
  
Pipsy: Darion, where are you going?  
  
Darion: For a walk, I can't sleep.  
  
Pipsy: Cover up, it's cold out.  
  
Darion: Okay Mom, whatever you say.  
  
After finding his coat, Darion went outside. But little did he know that someone was watching him.  
  
Darion: Man, the wind feels as if frozen.  
  
Toad: Ah that freezing feeling, it makes a guy feel all squishy in the toes.  
  
Darion: What the...  
[Darion turns around to see Toad standing on a table.]  
  
Toad: Surprised to see me?  
  
Darion: In an open vest? Yes.  
  
Toad: I've had many colder days than this one... and I wore less than this.  
  
Darion: So why are you here?  
  
Toad: Just clearing my head, that's all. Don't worry, I'm not alone like you thought I was.  
  
Darion: Who else is here?  
  
Shadow: ME!  
  
[Shadow appears next to Darion as if he teleported and stood to the mouse's right.]  
  
Darion: Whoa!  
  
Shadow: Did I startle you?  
  
Darion: Ah, yeah.  
  
Toad: So, do you still think that Shadow and I are the same person?  
  
Darion: How did you...  
  
Toad: Many people think that I'm Shadow, you're not the first...  
  
Shadow: And certainly aren't the last.  
  
Darion: Hmf.  
  
Toad: Seeing is believing to you, right?  
  
Darion: I guess... But how do I know that this isn't a hologram?  
  
Toad: Come here. (Darion walks forward face to face with Toad) No hard feelings but... (slap)  
  
Darion: Ow!  
  
Toad: Projections don't hurt.  
  
Shadow: Is it my turn now, or do you take his word for it?  
[Darion walks up to Shadow who takes a swing at him. Darion blocked it, but got tripped by Shadow.]  
  
Shadow: Now that you know, we are two people and we do exist. Now go back to bed, you crazy insomniac.  
(Darion walks back to his dorm a little confused, but satisfied as Toad and Shadow watch him go)  
  
Toad: So that is what you have to deal with, huh?  
  
Shadow: Yes.  
  
Toad: Back to business. Mario wants to end this quickly I see?  
  
Shadow: Yes, he's fed up with giving the DKR racers a chance. He wants to win two of the next five and end this match.  
  
Toad: And your mission?  
  
Shadow: Everything's in place. Now that I know what I'm up against, it will be no problem taking the flag from him this time.  
  
Toad: Where will you be racing?  
  
Shadow: If everything goes as planned, Rainbow Road. Either way, I win the next flag we duel for.  
  
Toad: I want to tell you something about Rainbow Road. It's a shortcut that I found out a while back. You know how the track begins with that long hill?  
  
Shadow: Go on?  
  
Toad: You make a hard left turn as you jump off the side. It's very risky, but if you make it, you'll be at the base of the spiral turn where the star is. It's a good twenty seconds off your lap time.  
  
Shadow: So you've made the jump?  
  
Toad: I always overshoot it and end up falling. You have a better chance of making it that I do.  
  
Shadow: I will investigate this myself and give you results later.  
  
Toad: Like always, it does interest you. Well I have to go fetch a surprise for my girlfriend. When you're done, notify me at once.  
  
Shadow: Gotcha' Toad.  
  
[Toad teleported away and Shadow went to the other side in Toad's kart. {Cool, Toad can teleported.} With a clear mind, he drives off.]  
  
Shadow: Sometimes the greatest trick in the world is convincing the world that you don't exist, but then again... Where's the fun in that?  
  
MKR  
  
As Darion wonders about finding the true reason to Shadow, Mario's thoughts are for ending the wars. He even sits on the couch of Daisy's castle to think of what to do next.  
  
Mario: Two more flags... That's all we need. Two more flags... Once we get them, Diddy and his friends will truly know who is the real master of racing. This is almost over, I can just taste it. Now all I need is to get it over with, but who will get it done? Luigi, Peach, or Bowser? Maybe Shadow might get it done... but can it actually happen? Will Darion actually beat Shadow again, on our turf? Listen to my thoughts here. Shadow is the only person so far that can actually catch Darion, he can win.  
[Toad's house. Fuchsia stands in front of the window looking at the stars with a worried look on her face.]  
  
Fuchsia: Toad, please come home. I can't go on like this, maybe I'm going through one of my "spells" again. Oooh, my bed is too cold when I'm alone. Toad I miss you... Shadow, where are you?  
  
Shadow: (teleporting in) What?  
(Fuchsia walks over and places her arms around Shadow) {What are you doing!?}  
  
Shadow: Did I miss something here?  
  
Fuchsia: No, but I'm missing someone now. Could you deliver a message to Toad for me? Please.... just this once for me?  
  
Shadow: What? As long as it's not funny for me to deliver, I'll do it.  
  
Fuchsia: Thank you.  
  
The next day, everyone of the MKR racers met up at Peach's castle.  
  
Mario: This contest is over. I want everyone to win, there are no exceptions.  
  
Yoshi: Major ego trip.  
  
Peach: Mario, you've lost it last night didn't you?  
  
Mario: I'm super psyched. Now, I want each of you to get in gear and show no mercy!  
  
Luigi: (!U_U) He's lost his mind.  
  
Peach: (!-_-) You said it.  
  
Baby Mario: (arms crossed) Maybe he didn't get any from Daisy last night?  
  
Yoshi: And you had some?  
  
Baby Mario: Do I look like I can pop a coochie yet? {Nooo. No he didn't.}  
  
Mario: No, but you've tried with Daisy's niece.  
  
Baby Mario: (!^_^) Heh, heh, you know I've a decade or more before I can get some.  
  
Yoshi: Just like your role model, you'll come early. Look, I did my share for the team and I won on my home turf. Get a grip Mario, my job here is done. Now if anyone wants me, I'm headed for Yoster's Isle. (leaving) See ya'!  
  
Mario: Hey?  
  
Peach: Let him go, Mario.  
  
DK: Hey everyone, you might want to get over to Boulder Canyon and pronto. Make sure you take your hovercrafts and get down there for the next flag event.  
  
Mario: Okay, let's get a move on.  
(Everyone leaves except for Fuchsia, who turns away and looks at the clouds. Peach noticed this and went to give some comfort)  
  
Peach: Is something wrong, Fuchsia?  
  
Fuchsia: I miss Toad, Peach. I don't know how long I can take this.  
  
Peach: I see that Mario isn't the only one that lost his mind. Get a grip, girl. You're starting to lose it.  
  
Fuchsia: I don't know if I can keep going like this.  
(ping)  
  
Peach: (!-_-)I'm sorry, but you need a reality check and bad! {Peach always knew how to use that frying pan.}  
  
Fuchsia: Ouch! Did you have to hit me so hard?  
  
Peach: You needed it. Now what's wrong with you?  
  
Fuchsia: I'm... I'm going through one of my "spells" again.  
  
Peach: Weird. One of your spells, huh? Okay, I see. But try to control yourself girl. Even if you're horny.  
  
Fuchsia: You're right, I have to get focused again. Thanks a lot Peach, I'm ready now. Let's get a move on.  
  
Peach: ...I sure hope so...  
  
DKR  
  
TT: Looks like they aren't going to show up this time.  
  
Taj: Donkey Kong went to get them, TT. Just give him some time.  
  
Shadow: (teleports in) Well, at least I showed up. You can't say you'll be getting the flag by forfeit. If the rest of the MKR racers don't show up, I'll be the one to race you.  
  
Mario: Thanks a lot Shadow, but we'll take it from here.  
  
Shadow: Took you long enough.  
  
Mario: Better late than never.  
  
Shadow: Hmf. As for you Fuchsia, I spoke with Toad last night... as someone witnessed it happen... (looks towards Darion) am I right?  
  
Darion: Yeah, I got the welcome marks to prove it.  
  
Shadow: Toad is on his way back to the kingdom as we speak. now if you ever do anything like that again, I will have to hurt you!  
  
Fuchsia: I'm sorry Shadow, but... I haven't been myself lately.  
  
TT: Really? Well that's too bad for her. In your hovercraft Fuchsia, it's time to go.  
  
Fuchsia: But... that's not fair!  
  
TT: Good, Then you're giving up?  
  
Fuchsia: (turns to Mario, then turns to TT) I can't do it.  
[a quick scene change into Fuchsia's mind.]  
  
Fuchsia: I don't know what to do...  
  
Toad: You race, that's all.  
  
Fuchsia: But...  
  
Toad: I'm not really here Fuchsia, this is just your conscience.  
  
Fuchsia: (sadly) I miss you... whoever you are...  
  
Toad: I know you don't want to let everyone down, but do you really want to throw off this race?  
  
Fuchsia: I don't know what to do.  
  
Shadow: Maybe I can help.  
  
Fuchsia: Shadow, is that really you?  
  
Shadow: Of course it is, now pay attention. You have two options: You can quit now and never know how you would have done. And or you can go through with racing against TT and see how well you can do.  
  
Fuchsia: Shadow, what do you want me to do?  
  
Shadow: Irrelevant. What I want is of no importance here, it's what you want. No one will be pressuring you, except yourself. Toad had his doubts on going up against TT too, just like you did, and he went through with it and tied. The choice is yours Fuchsia, but remember one thing... There is no shame in losing, but in never trying.... Now wake up!  
  
[When we get back to the canyon, Fuchsia is lying down on the shore and Peach is holding her hand.]  
  
Peach: Hey are you all right, you passed out?  
  
Fuchsia: I'm okay, just thinking.  
  
TT: Are you ready to go, or what?  
  
Fuchsia: Mario...?  
  
Mario: It's on you.  
  
Fuchsia: (sigh) Cool, let's do it.  
[TT and Fuchsia lined up in their hovercrafts, ready to race.]  
  
Taj: Okay people, it's time to roll... er, hover through this canyon. As you know, the MKR racers need two more flags to win. The DKR racers have a chance to prevent this from happening. Good luck to both of you.  
  
TT: Well, I went off against your boyfriend first. Now I go off against his lady, I hope things go well.  
  
Fuchsia: Yeah, me too. I shouldn't have done this, I'm in no mood to race. (scream) Toad, I need you!!!  
[Suddenly, Toad's voice entered Fuchsia's mind.]  
  
Toad: Fuchsia, I'm right behind you.  
  
Fuchsia: Huh?  
  
Toad: Don't look, I'm right behind you. Everything's fine now, stop worrying about me, you're going to stress yourself too quickly. Don't dead me before I get back Fuchsia, I'll be really upset if you do. It's not like it's killing you, right?  
  
Fuchsia: Wrong, it is killing me. Come home!  
  
Toad: Great, being away from Fuchsia this long made her lose her mind. Do me a favor, hon.  
  
Fuchsia: Anything for you.  
  
Toad: Remind Peach to smack you over the head with her frying pan after the race is over.  
  
Fuchsia: I don't want Peach to smack me with her frying pan again, she hits hard!  
  
Toad: Fuchsia?  
  
Peach: (!^_^) Great, just great. Fuchsia lost her senses again.  
  
Mario: What's wrong with her, she's acting crazy?  
  
Peach: She just needs a good humping, that's all.  
  
Shadow: I'm not doing it.  
  
Timber: Everyone must be bashing each other's guts in that kingdom.  
  
DK: Not really.  
  
Baby Mario: (-_-) Mushrooms, horny is as horny does.  
  
Peach: You're getting' you mouth washed out with soap when we get back.  
  
Baby Mario: So much for speaking your mind.  
  
Diddy: Even the baby gets some.  
  
Conker: I motion for a big orgy!  
  
DK, KT & Taj: You horny little bastard.  
  
Conker: Ah, lick deese nuts.  
  
Bowser: You mean the nuts that you don't have? (laughs)  
  
Shadow: (shaking his head) And here we go...  
  
Conker: Pipe your trap, Titanic.  
  
Tip Tup: (laughing) Titanic... oh that's funny.  
  
Bowser: Shut up Tip Tup. At least I didn't make any "new friends" in Sherbert Land.  
(DK and the Mario Bros. laugh)  
  
Tip Tup: And what are you laughing at Donkey Kong, at least I've gotten some lately. {Bad move.}  
  
DK: At least I didn't have to wish for a girl to come into my life after drawing her.  
(Diddy and Timber chuckle)  
  
KT: Wait a minute, he wished for a girlfriend? Ppppppp, that sucks. (laughs)  
  
TT: This has gotten way out of hand.  
  
Fuchsia: (!-_-) And I thought I had problems....  
  
Darion: Hey! Racers, judges, folks, let's stay on task here.  
  
Taj: Hey Shadow, here's something interesting for you to hear.  
  
Shadow: Go on, genie.  
  
Taj: After this race is over, your race with Darion is next.  
  
Shadow: I know that, but where is the question... (to Taj) Good. Now I can finally get the rematch that we were promised.  
  
Taj: Isn't that grand?  
  
Shadow: You just don't know how grand it is, Taj. And after long last, I will finally complete my mission. Be ready Toad, and suit up my ally, it's almost time...  
  
After everyone regained their senses, TT and Fuchsia finally got to race. It was long going, but at least all of the bickering has ceased. Let's just hope that it doesn't start again...  
  
Taj: And now, the moment that we've all should've seen, {You got that right.} the next flag race here in Boulder Canyon. Like always it's three laps, and a flag is up for grabs. Now shake hands and get ready to roll... er, hover.  
(TT and Fuchsia shook hands)  
  
DK: All non participants to the booths, now. (the other racers left) Taj and I will be here across from each other at the line and we'll see first- hand who crosses first in the event of a tie. Good luck to both of you.  
  
TT: This shouldn't be a problem.  
  
Fuchsia: Wish me luck, Toad.  
  
Taj: Racers ready... GO!  
  
[And off they went. Around the first turn, things were neck and neck. In the booths, all the other racers were watching.]  
  
Peach: You know, Fuchsia really worries about Toad too much.  
  
Shadow: It's not worrying, but caring. Fuchsia has never met a Mushroom Man like Toad before and stays true to her goldenrod heart.  
  
Peach: There would be no way I would worry so much like that about Luigi.  
  
Luigi: Care to rephrase that?  
  
Peach: (!^_^) I mean, not all the time. Maybe if something happened to you that was dire, but not over having a cold bed at night for a long time.  
  
Luigi: Huh. Hey Shadow, do you sleep with Fuchsia?  
  
Shadow: No. I don't sleep with her like you do with Peach. Fuchsia doesn't belong to me.  
  
Mario: You mean you haven't tried?  
  
Shadow: I don't sleep, let alone sleep with my ally's prize. You people are foolish, you Found people you.  
  
Timber: There you go with that found crap again.  
  
Shadow: If you want to be Lost like me, just say so. I can arrange that ever so quickly.  
  
Timber: I'll pass.  
  
Waluigi: Where are the condiments at?  
  
Taj: Excuse me?  
  
Waluigi: Condiments, not condoms you idiot.  
  
Taj: We don't have any of those.  
  
Waluigi: You guys suck.  
  
Taj: Hey, just remember that you aren't at home.  
  
Waluigi: My home is better than this place.  
  
Luigi & Peach: That was my line to say something fresh, but I think I'll save it for later.  
  
Wario: Is there something wrong wit' m' house?  
  
Peach: With your part no, but your brother's... Let's just say he needs better taste.  
  
Waluigi: You can taste my dick in your mouth! {I wonder why the FCC let this line slide... Oh well.}  
  
Shadow: remember what happened the last time you tried to do that? You almost got castrated.  
  
Waluigi: Hey, don't read my thoughts Shadow.  
  
Shadow: Okay, then maybe I should tell Peach what you just thought?  
  
Waluigi: Uh, that's not necessary.  
  
Peach: (\_/) What did he think?  
  
Shadow: Oh nothing, just getting blown.  
  
Peach: (mean look to Waluigi) I can always find my good friend Butch.  
  
Waluigi: I'm not afraid of Butch.  
  
Peach: Oh really?! (pulls Butch out from between her royal bust) Care to say that again?  
  
Pipsy: (O_O) Where did that come from!?  
  
Timber: Where did wha-- Oh sh...  
  
Shadow: Timber, meet Butch.  
  
Peach: It's amazing what you can put in your bra, Pipsy.  
  
Luigi: Yeeh. I knew there are reasons why I don't grab her there. This is another one. {Tch, ya' think?} Peach, put that away!  
  
Peach: Sure I will, but after Waluigi drops to his knees and apologizes.  
  
Waluigi: Forget it!  
  
Peach: Grab his arms Luigi and make sure he can't get free.  
  
Luigi: Gotcha'!  
  
Shadow: At least the race is going well...  
  
Well is the right word for it, Shadow. Halfway through the second lap, the two racers were still close. Maybe Fuchsia's conscience isn't getting to her after all... [At the two tunnels, Fuchsia went right and TT went left. With the right pathway taken, so was the lead.]  
  
TT: That mushroom is all washed up.  
  
Fuchsia: So far, so good. I just might win this race. TT isn't even behind me... Uh oh! I'm losing it...  
TT had crossed for a second time starting his final lap, but Fuchsia was a second later. All the way through this lap it seemed close, until TT used his Speed Shield to blaze through. When he got to the bridge, the stopwatch got a Slickpak and rung the bell. When Fuchsia exited the tunnel, she saw the bridge going up right in front of her eyes.  
  
Fuchsia: Great, now I have to wait.  
  
Shadow: Get in the water and go around.  
  
Fuchsia: Thanks, Shadow.  
  
[Fuchsia hopped into the water and went around, but she forgot to turn back onto the track. She turned around and found the track, but she lost time.] Going into the right tunnel again, TT didn't see fuchsia behind him.  
  
TT: The drawbridge worked. The race belongs to me, Fuchsia. thanks for the race... and the win.  
  
As TT exited the tunnel, Fuchsia entered it. She decided to finish the race, even though she knew she had lost.  
  
Fuchsia: Oh well, I hope Mario doesn't yell at me. I really don't need that right now.  
  
Taj: Here they come.  
  
DK: What they? I just hear TT.  
(TT swerved by DK, who was holding the flag and took it from the gorilla's hand as he crossed the line. A couple of seconds later, Fuchsia finally crossed the line)  
  
TT: Hey Fuchsia, not bad for a beginner. You really had me thinking that there would have been a tie.  
  
Fuchsia: (sigh) Thanks.  
  
*  
  
After the race was over, everyone went to the Mess Area for chow.  
  
Fuchsia: I'm sorry about letting you down during that race Mario, I hope you're not mad at me.  
  
Mario: Nah. Nobody wins all the time, Fuchsia. Shit happens.  
  
Luigi: That course looked pretty tough anyway.  
  
Pipsy: So explain to me again how you put that um... Butch in your bra?  
  
Fuchsia: You put Butch where?  
  
Peach: In my bra.  
  
Fuchsia: How do you put something like that in your bra?  
  
Peach: Very carefully.  
  
Berri: Okay, I'm confused. Who is Butch and why is he in your bra?  
  
Peach: (pulling butch out of her bra again) Berri, Butch. Butch, Berri. Any more questions?  
  
Berri: Do you cut yourself doing that?  
  
Peach: Naw. Besides, I already had my tetanus shots.  
  
Berri: Whoa. I never thought a girl could put something as big and as sharp as a butcher knife in her bra. Peach must have tits of steel or somethin'.  
  
Peach: No, not really Berri. But thanks for the compliment... even though you meant to think it.  
  
Shadow: Well, I see that things are actually going good for both sides.  
  
DK: What do you mean by that?  
  
Shadow: Two is the magic number. Two flags is all that's needed for both sides; For Diddy and his crew to tie things up again and for myself and the rest of us to actually win this Race Wars. It's all coming down to the wire, isn't it Kong?  
  
Diddy & DK: It sure is.  
  
Shadow: Well, I guess I will see you later. Until then everyone.  
  
Taj: Where are you going? The next race is starting after we're done eating.  
  
Shadow: Yes, after you're done eating. I need not eat, so I will see you later.  
(Shadow jumped into Toad's kart and headed to the other side. The captains and the judges watched him go, but didn't stop him. Mario just shrugged)  
  
Taj: What was all that about?  
  
Mario: Don't look at me, I don't know.  
  
TT: I have no clue.  
  
Krunch: Screw him. I'm eating up while the food is fresh. If you want to make him a doggie bag, be my guest.  
  
Darion: Hmmm... I know where he's going. Nice trick Toad, but you can't fool me with that shadow routine. I know who you really are and I will prove it to everyone... right after this race.  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-9 MKR-11  
  
MKR  
  
[Toad's house. The closet opens and there is a red hat with black spots on it. Toad's arm takes the hat, the black shoes and the orchid vest out. The hanger is empty for a few moments, then Toad's signature outfit goes on the hanger and into the closet. Toad's drawer opens and he takes out some red baggy shorts to match his hat. {More actual shorts huh? Good.} Toad is then seen in the mirror, wearing his red fit.]  
  
Toad: Okay, All suited up and ready to roll. Aw man, my cue's hanging out. (tucks cue in and turns to see his backside) That's better. Ready Shadow?  
  
Shadow: Of course.  
  
Toad: Good. It's time to roll.  
  
(Toad and Shadow teleported away.) Daisy walks through her castle thinking about what to do next.  
  
Daisy: Man, Peach always gets to do the fun things. Now I feel bad... it's time to go shopping.  
  
A little while later, Mario and the gang were at the usual, discussing you know what.  
  
Luigi: So where are we going next?  
  
Mario: Your guess is as good as mine, Luigi. Taj or DK have yet said anything on that matter.  
  
Fuchsia: I don't care about the next race, I want my Toad back.  
(ping)  
  
Fuchsia: Ow!  
  
Peach: (mocking) Toad, come home, I need you. Toad, please come back. My bed is too cold Toad, please hurry home. (*-_-) If you keep mentioning Toad one more time I'm going to slap the taste out of your mouth.  
  
Fuchsia: B-but Peach, I miss him.  
  
Peach: You sound like the women from YR Fuchsia. If I wanted to watch my soaps, I'll turn on the tv. Now look, I don't want to hear about Toad again for the rest of Race Wars.  
  
Fuchsia: But...  
  
Peach: I said no more whining about Toad! Sheesh, you're acting like he left you for another mushroom woman.  
  
Fuchsia: But...  
  
Peach: This is what happens when you only have sex three times in... What is it now, nine months?  
  
Mario: Are you pregnant?  
  
Fuchsia: No I'm not pregnant! Well, at least not yet anyway.  
  
Shadow: Is she still complaining about Toad not being here?  
  
Peach: More than ever, Shadow.  
  
Shadow: Sheesh, I never though you would be a pain in someone's ass for this long. Get a hold of yourself, woman!  
  
Luigi: I'm just surprised she hasn't offered entrance to those pearly gates yet.  
  
Shadow: She's done that and boy did I feel uncomfortable about delivering the message to Toad. Look, I just talked to Toad today.  
  
Mario: Where was he?  
  
Shadow: At home, duh! He just went to change his clothes and then left to get his gift for "Cryous Hornious" over there.  
  
Luigi: Great, Fuchsia's acting like a bitch in heat and her dog is nowhere to be found.  
  
Peach: I hope Toad comes back soon, because if this keeps up, I'm gonna' have to beat the crap out of his girlfriend.  
[Unbeknownst to them, Darion was listening to that whole chat under the bridge.]  
  
Darion: What are you trying to prove now Toad? Hah, It doesn't really matter now.  
  
Toad: Silly fool.  
  
Darion: (Climbs up and stands on the bridge.) I know that you're Shadow in disguise, Toad. You aren't fooling anyone.  
  
Toad: Do you really think so?  
[Inside the castle]  
  
Darion: What are you doing here!?  
  
Toad: This is where I work.  
  
Mario: Hey, that was Toad.  
  
Peach: Everybody, outside!  
  
[back outside.]  
  
Darion: You're not the real Toad, you're just an illusion.  
  
Toad: (laugh) What a fool you are. just because I've changed clothes doesn't mean that I'm not the real deal.  
  
Darion: Nice trick Toad, or should I say Shadow?  
  
Shadow: You should say Toad. (teleports in)  
  
Darion: Nice trick.  
  
Toad: Who's doing one?  
  
Darion: You are.  
  
Toad: If I'm doing the trick, then why are you listening to Mario's chat?  
  
Darion: I'm more than just a racer, or didn't you know about that?  
  
Toad: To be honest about it, I didn't know. Shadow didn't tell me.  
  
Shadow: Yes. However, his being a spy isn't relevant to the wars now. A little advice... Never place your nose where it doesn't belong.  
  
Darion: Take off that veil Shadow, show me your true face!  
  
Shadow: As you wish.  
[Shadow took off the black veil and showed his face to Darion. And of course, nothing was there.]  
  
Darion: Tch, another mask. Take that off too.  
(Shadow placed his hand in front of his face and quickly removed it. To his surprise, his own face was in it)  
  
Toad: Darion, this will only get you nowhere. I'm leaving now... but just remember that you have no clue. (teleports away) Fool, you don't know anything about Shadow... except the fact that he isn't me.  
  
[The gang shows up outside to see Shadow and Darion leering each other.]  
  
Mario: Hey Shadow, what happened?  
  
Fuchsia: Was Toad here?  
  
Darion: He was here and he was wearing red.  
  
Taj: Darion, there you are. We've been looking all over for you, it's nice to know that... Did I miss something?  
  
Luigi: not much, but why are you guys here?  
  
Taj: The next race is about to start on Rainbow Road. Come on, let's go.  
*  
  
Finally it was time for the race on Rainbow Road. I actually thought this would be the last race, but I guess both teams couldn't wait for it. Jugem was at the line waiting for the big decision.  
  
Jugem: Hurry up Mario, make your choice quickly.  
  
Mario: I'm thinking', I'm thinking'.  
  
Shadow: No, you're not. This race belongs to me.  
  
Mario: Shadow, you can't race here.  
  
Shadow: Silence. I will not listen to you, nor you, nor you. I've waited a long time to do this and I shall wait no more. In your kart Darion, this race is ours.  
  
Diddy: Just what do you think you're doing?  
  
Darion: Relax Diddy, Shadow just wants to complete his mission.  
  
Diddy: ...What mission?  
  
Darion: Nevermind, just get out of the way.  
  
Taj: But Darion...  
  
Darion: I'll be fine, Taj. Just remember that fools rush in.  
  
Shadow: Kind of like how you did before? {Touché!}  
  
Darion: Let's do this!  
[Darion and Shadow lined up at the line and Jugem was ready.]  
  
Taj: Darion, I don't really give out favorites, but whoop his ass!  
  
DK: Really now?  
  
Taj: Oh, so you can laugh at Tip Tup but I can't say what I feel? Some judge you are Donkey Kong.  
  
Darion: You're going to fail winning against me again Shadow, just like last time in Darkmoon Caverns.  
  
Shadow: Let's see you prove that theory.  
  
Darion: You won't beat me, Shadow. That I promise you.  
  
Shadow: We've six thousand meters or race left Darion, don't get cocky before you start getting down to dueling.  
  
Darion: Your tricks won't help you here, just like they didn't help you back then Shadow. This flag goes to the DKR Team.  
  
Shadow: You may think so, but you're gonna' have to go through death itself first.  
  
Jugem: You guys really have a lot to prove... now shake hands.  
(Shadow and Darion shook hands)  
  
Darion: Get ready to fail again.  
  
Shadow: Welcome to your colorful Hell, Racer X.  
  
Jugem: I've heard as much as I can take, get the hell going already!  
  
[The two blazed off and down the hill they went.]  
  
Jugem: Good luck to both of you....  
[the two racers landed safely and headed down the stretch neck and neck. Into the first turn, Shadow picked up a lot of speed sliding into mini turbos, but Darion wasn't too far behind. After the first set of items, Shadow had a Shield while Darion a Slickpak.] (Darion fired away his slicks forward and Shadow shook his head)  
  
Shadow: Nice, but it will only hurt you...  
  
Darion: Don't think that you're taking pole easily Shadow, you're way ahead of yourself if you do.  
  
Shadow: We shall see.  
[On the next set of items, Shadow kept Darion from picking any up. However, he had to use his Shield to avoid being chomped.]  
  
Darion: That serves you right.  
  
Shadow: (gives raspberry) Pissed I see...  
  
Around the circle they shifted pole many times, but when they left it, they were neck and neck again. The watchers in the booths away from the course knew it all.  
  
Timber: Man, this course is long.  
  
Luigi: It's the longest.  
  
Diddy: How do you race this course without having a butt burn?  
  
Mario: Don't ask.  
  
Toad: Fuchsia, are you there?  
  
Fuchsia: Toad... I'm right here.  
  
Toad: Good, catch.  
(A bouquet of long stem roses fell from the sky and into Fuchsia's open arms.)  
  
Toad: It's not much, but it's the best I could do for leaving you waiting for so long. Fuchsia: (hearts in eyes) Thank you Toad.  
  
Toad: No problem babe, now stop driving everybody nuts. I'll see you after the race Fuchsia, 'til then...  
  
After crossing the fifth turn, missiles collided and exploded as the shift of pole changed.  
  
Darion: Don't get cocky now Shadow, it's only the first lap.  
  
Shadow: This ain't cocky, 'tis confidence.  
  
Darion: I got your confidence right here. (fires a Homer)  
{He shoots... he misses.}  
  
Shadow: A futile attempt, but at least he thought it was worth it... That's all that matters to a racer.  
  
The next turn resulted in a neck and neck race... (thunder strikes) At least it was until Darion used his Thunder Bullet.  
  
Shadow: Misery loves company my friend.  
[Darion laughed at it so much that he didn't see the chomp until it was too late and got bit. This caused Shadow to retie the match.]  
  
Darion: I had to laugh...  
  
Shadow: Too bad too, you could've had a great lead on me. Oh well, it's just the first lap...  
  
Darion: The fat lady didn't sing yet.  
  
The last two turns were neck and neck, but Shadow had a hard time keeping up since Darion kept getting Thunder Bullets. It seemed hopeless that Shadow would win, but the Lost never give up.  
  
Darion: The second lap, and the lead is mine.  
[Darion crossed the line first lap and Shadow crossed five seconds later.]  
  
Shadow: In your words Toad, and I mean them with all do respect, "It's time for a little justice... Mushroom Justice."  
[The Mushroom Justice theme kicks in.]  
  
Shadow: Showtime.  
  
The second lap came in and the MKR racers watched in disbelief as Shadow was trailing the race.  
  
Diddy: Well Mario, your trumph card is a high one, but ours is higher than yours will ever be.  
  
Toad: You misjudge too quickly, Diddy Kong. That was your big mistake and I shall prove it to you.  
  
Diddy: HUH?  
  
Toad: Open your mind, Kong.  
  
Diddy: Toad!  
  
Toad: As Darion once did, Shadow is only toying with Darion.  
  
Diddy: Toying my ass.  
  
Toad: Sorry, I only toy with Fuchsia's ass. I'll never swing that way Diddy Kong, it will be a cold day in Hell first.  
  
Diddy: Shadow's lost again Toad and there's nothing that you, or Mario can do to stop Darion... Even on your own track.  
  
Toad: You just sealed your grave...  
Shadow was trailing a good ten seconds behind Darion and for once was starting to see a fatal flaw.  
  
Shadow: I underestimated him again, but this time it's come back to haunt me.  
  
Toad: Let me take control of the wheel, Shadow.  
  
Shadow: You can't do this now, Toad.  
  
Toad: Just give me the wheel.  
  
Shadow: It's all yours.  
[Toad placed his hands on the wheel and began to steer and managed to pick up a Timed Boost.]  
  
Toad: Listen carefully, I want you to charge the boost. Just hole the fire button down with your right thumb.  
  
Shadow: (placing thumb on fire button) Now what?  
  
Toad: Left hand on the wheel.  
[Shadow did what Toad said and Darion saw his rival going around the circle turn.]  
  
Darion: Something's wrong here. He doesn't let me lead like this on purpose... It's a trap. But he doesn't know that I know that... well, if you can play the role, than I can play it better.  
  
Shadow: He's caught on to the plan.  
  
Toad: Even so, but he doesn't know that he's racing two people at once.  
  
Shadow: He's one turn ahead of us now, what's the plan?  
  
Toad: On my command, boost.  
  
Shadow had a nice surprise on turn six...  
  
Shadow: There you are, you just left the turn.  
  
Toad: Boost now, and brace yourself.  
  
Shadow: For what? (starts boosting) Oh shiiiiiit!!!  
  
KT: Hey check it out, Shadow's boosting just like my cousin did at Everfrost Peak.  
  
Diddy: Well, what do you know... Shadow might just have a chance after all. (swallowing pride) Hmf, so what if your cousin told Shadow how to use the boost that way, it's not like it will help them.  
  
Conker: Actually, it did help him Diddy.  
  
Diddy: (O_O) What?!  
  
Conker was right, and what seemed like a one-sided race became even... At least until Darion hit his new Thunder Bullet which canceled the boost altogether. This cause a little tension in the booths as well.  
  
Mario: (\_/) Hey, what is this blanket you're trying to pull over our eyes, genie?  
  
Taj: I don't know what you're talking about.  
  
Mario: Did anyone count the number of bullets that Darion used?  
  
Thunder: I did.  
(everyone turns around to see Yoshi Thunder)  
  
Diddy: There's a pink one now?  
  
Thunder: That's a shocking pink to you, monkey boy.  
  
Peach: Yoshi Thunder, what are you doing here?  
  
Thunder: Just watching the match and counting six Thunder Bullets.  
  
Mario: Six, I counted five?  
  
Thunder: I saw six of them Mario, and I don't like it one bit. A racer is lucky to get one of those things, three at the most. But there is no way a racer can get six bullets of lightning in just two laps. Something's foul here and all of you DKR racers have some explaining to do.  
  
Mario: Someone's cheating and we all want to know who.  
  
Diddy: We don't need to cheat to win against you guys.  
  
Baby Mario: Not the way I see it.  
  
DKR racers: HUH?  
  
Baby Mario: Listen, you guys are down by two and have that "win at all costs" situation on your hands, it makes perfect sense to all of us.  
  
Timber: How?  
  
Baby Mario: All of you know that we need two flags to win Race Wars and you've decided to cheat just to save your sorry hides.  
  
Diddy: How dare you accuse us of cheating?  
  
Baby Mario: Because all of the clues point to you guys.  
  
Conker: And what makes you so sure that you were the ones trying to cheat and your plan backfired?  
  
Baby Mario: All we need is two flags, Diddy. Why would we cheat now when we can beat you, like we are now, fair and square?  
  
Diddy: Why don't you answer that Mario, 'sides, you want everything to end so soon?  
  
Mario: True, but I'll race clean before I cheat. And judging from the scores of this contest, we don't need to cheat.  
  
Peach: They're both right. If we were going to cheat, we would have done it a long time ago. But we didn't, so you can't point the finger at us.  
  
Taj: All of this arguing is taking out of the race! Let's just watch the race and discuss this afterwards.  
  
Shadow crossed his final lap far behind Darion and was starting to admit failure.  
  
Toad: Take the shortcut, Shadow. If you make it, then you're back in business.  
  
Shadow: It's risky, Toad.  
  
Toad: You're already behind Shadow, besides, you have nothing to lose... except your mission.  
  
Shadow: .......  
  
Toad: You don't have much choice, take the jump.  
  
Shadow: (sigh) Here goes everything......  
  
[Shadow hit a hard left and jumped over the side. Darion heard the other kart and looked to his left. The racers in the booth were stunned to see the jump.]  
  
KT: Hey Mario, do you think Shadow can make it?  
  
Mario: I really don't know KT, but if he does, we're back in the race.  
  
Peach: Cross your fingers everyone.  
Shadow tasted sugar in his sweat, as Darion was driving and looking at Shadow's kart as it flew towards his own. From Darion's point of view, it looked like Shadow missed, but he was wrong as Shadow landed safely, but hit Darion. The impact caused both drivers to spin out.  
  
Jugem: Well folks, Shadow made it, but both drivers are down.  
  
All: What!?  
  
(Everyone looked at where Shadow had landed and saw a big cloud of smoke. This made everyone fear for the worst)  
  
DK: I don't like the looks of that thing.  
  
Taj: Let's just hope that those two are okay...  
  
[When the smoke cleared, Jugem and Bobby were helping Shadow and Darion out of their karts.]  
  
Shadow: Ow...  
  
Darion: Thank you, R. You were really watching over me tonight.  
  
Shadow: You're lucky to be alive.  
  
Darion: You too.  
  
Shadow: So I take it that this is a draw?  
  
Darion: You said--er, thought it. (shakes Shadow's hand)  
  
Jugem: DK, can you hear me?  
  
DK: Loud and clear, Jugem.  
  
Jugem: I know you didn't want to hear it again, but chalk up one flag for each side. You've got yourself another draw.  
  
DK: Over. (to everyone) We have another tie.  
  
Toad: Yes, we do. Diddy, Mario, these are for you. Catch.  
  
(Two RW flags fell from the sky, just like the roses did and the team captains took one each)  
  
Mario: Three races left, one flag to go. Even if we tie against you in any of these last races, we won Race Wars.  
  
Diddy: We don't give up, Mario. We're racing you until the end of the line.  
  
Mario: It's nice to know that you've got it in ya'. Good luck losing, Diddy.  
  
Diddy: Good luck losing to too, Mario.  
  
After the race, everyone had a good meal.  
  
Mario: I can't believe you made that shortcut Shadow, that was cool.  
  
KT: Yeah. It took major watermelons to do that.  
  
Shadow: I don't have watermelons... I have "pumpkins"!  
  
Luigi: Pumpkins are big.  
  
Shadow: Not pumpkins, "pumpkins"!  
  
Mario Bros.: Oh, "pumpkins"!  
  
Shadow: Well, it was fun going back on the track once again for a seasoned veteran like myself. I had a great time going up against someone and calling him an equal.  
  
Darion: I'm honored to be your equal.  
  
Shadow: I know you are, Darion. Now it's time for me to go, my job is done here and my welcome has ended.  
  
Darion: Shadow, will we ever race each other again?  
  
Shadow: Maybe, only time will tell. (hops into Toad's kart) See ya' later DKR racers. Until next time, Racer X. (teleports away)  
  
Mario: See you next time, Shadow.  
[Off into the mountains, Shadow stood from the cliff and surrounded himself in a circle of fresh soil.]  
  
Toad: It's time, Shadow.  
  
Shadow: Of course.  
[With the open stance, Shadow leaves and Toad returns.]  
  
Shadow: With conquest over and foes defeated, I leave this realm... Mission completed.  
(The fire that engulfed Toad, engulfed Shadow.)  
  
[Late that night and Fuchsia looked out the window. She's sad since Toad didn't come back yet. She just sighed and walked away from the window and went into the bedroom wearing her pink robe.]  
  
Fuchsia: Another night alone in bed... (sigh) Toad, you promised that I would see you after the race. You lied to me...  
[Fuchsia opened the door and saw Toad in his white robe, sitting on the bed.]  
  
Fuchsia: (hearts in eyes) There you are, Toad!  
  
Toad: Of course--Wha!!  
[Fuchsia dove right on top of Toad, knocking him on his back on his bed.]  
  
Fuchsia: I'm so glad you're home, boy I missed you.  
  
Toad: I can see that. I missed you too.  
[Scene fades into the night sky from Toad's house.]  
  
Fuchsia: Good, now drop your pants.  
  
Toad: Excuse me?  
  
Fuchsia: Drop your pants, Toad.  
  
Toad: But what about-  
  
Fuchsia: Do you want a blowjob or not?  
(silence falls...) {I guess Toad found his key.}  
  
Fuchsia: (giggle) Now lay back, relax and say, "Oh, yeah."  
  
Toad: (caught breath) Ooooh yyyyeaaahh!  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-10 MKR-12  
almost done..... 


	11. the last flags

RACE WARS  
PART 1O  
THE LAST FLAGS  
  
[Toad's house, seven a.m. and the birds are chirping outside. In bed, Toad is awake in his bed laying down, while Fuchsia sleeps on top of him with a smile on her face and purring like a kitten. {I guess this is picking up from last night episode.}]  
  
Toad: I just don't get you, Fuchsia. Why is it that I only get some when: A) You're in one of your heat spells, B) You're scared to death, or C) When we've been apart for a good minute? Oh well, I guess that's what I get. To think that I only screwed you once... and that was when we took that hike up that mountain. Luigi really bugged out when I actually wore shorts like that, instead of the normal pants I wear? {Pants?} And that was the second time we did it, all the other times you did me. When you were tired of "indulging" yourself, when you got locked up in prison for a month under false pretenses and just last night. Oh well, I'm not mad at you, but I need to screw you more... if you would let me. At least you're still apart of my world...  
  
At breakfast, Toad and Fuchsia sat at the table to eat.  
  
Fuchsia: It is nice to know that the last bit of races won't start until tonight.  
  
Toad: That's great.  
  
Fuchsia: .....So, what do you want to do today?  
  
Toad: I didn't have anything planned today. I guess I'm going to clean up around the house.  
  
Fuchsia: No, no, no, you're taking me out today.  
  
Toad: Maybe tomorrow, but not today.  
  
Fuchsia: Did I do something wrong?  
  
Toad: Of course not, it's just me.  
  
Fuchsia: Why don't you want to take me out today, we have the whole day to ourselves?  
  
Toad: I just want to be around the house, Fuchsia. I'll be in the shower if you need me.  
  
Fuchsia: Now you're just acting strange. What is it that I did wrong?  
  
Toad: You didn't do anything wrong Fuchsia, it's just me.  
  
Fuchsia: This is about our sex life again, isn't it?  
  
Toad: I'm going to take my shower now.  
  
Fuchsia: (sigh) He's only like this when it's about our sex life. Maybe Peach is right, oh well.  
  
DKR  
  
Diddy: We have to get in gear you guys, if Mario and his friends get any one of the final three flags, that's it. We can still win this thing you guys.  
  
Tip Tup: I don't mean to sound negative, but there's no way we can win three in a row against them.  
  
Diddy: Why don't you trust yourself, or your friends?  
  
Tip Tup: Hey, chill out man. I trust all of us, but let's remember that Mario's friends are the ones who race against us now. their three are the ones that we race.  
  
Diddy: Look, we can't afford to do anything else except for winning, so that's what we have to do.  
  
Conker: But Diddy-  
  
Diddy: That's what we have to do!  
  
Pipsy: I like this course. Ooh, this one looks nice too. I don't like this one though...  
  
Diddy: Pipsy, are you paying attention?  
  
Pipsy: Sure I am. Now I've written down all of the courses that we have gone on and the one's that are left. The three courses are Moo Moo Farm, Crescent Island and Toad's Turnpike. I can take the first two, but the last one I just don't like.  
  
Timber: What's not to like?  
  
Pipsy: Running into cars, running into trucks, running into buses, getting run over by cars, getting run over by trucks, getting run over by buses, dodging cars, dodging trucks, dodging buses and still trying to win a flag to stay alive in the race.  
  
Krunch: Where do you get cars and trucks from?  
  
DK: I'll answer that question. Toad's Turnpike is like a freeway, you will have to go around vehicles and race at the same time.  
  
Pipsy: That's too hard.  
  
Diddy: I agree Pipsy, it is hard. But not everything in life is easy, so we have no choice but to deal with it.  
  
Krunch: This sucks, I wanted to do something nice for a change.  
  
Diddy: Nice isn't the key here, Krunch. Anyway, Toad's Turnpike may be hard, but we don't have any choice to pass it. Listen carefully, Krunch, Pipsy, Timber, you three are the rivals to Mario's other three chosen four. None of you need to practice on Crescent Island, so concentrate on the courses in the kingdom that are left. Practice now so you will be ready by tonight.  
  
Timber: Why do all of us have to race these two courses?  
  
Diddy: Because any one of you will have to do it anyway.  
  
Krunch: That makes sense. Well, grab your karts and let's get going. the sooner we get there, the more time we'll have to practice.  
  
MKR  
  
Toad: I can't believe I'm going through with this.  
  
Fuchsia: Stop complaining, I don't want to hear it.  
Fuchsia wasn't so easily defeated, so instead of Toad taking her out... well, she took him out.  
  
Toad: Where are we going anyway?  
  
Fuchsia: I want you to meet my mom.  
  
Toad: That's not a problem, it's your dad that'll be hard.  
  
Fuchsia: So you want to stop off at the cemetery too?  
  
Toad: No, no, no, that won't be needed. Good, it's clear sailing from now on.  
  
Fuchsia: I think you don't like my dad.  
  
Toad: That's not it, it's just that the dead should be at peace.  
  
Fuchsia: I understand Toad, we don't have to go to the cemetery. Chicken shit.  
Meanwhile...  
  
Luigi: That was the best side of you in bed for a good while. {Oops!}  
  
Peach: So I haven't been good the last couple of times?  
  
Luigi: You misunderstood me. You're always good, but last night reminded me of the first time I split you open. {He said, split.}  
  
Peach: Don't be funny Luigi, just be straight. Was it good or not?  
  
Luigi: It was fine.  
  
Peach: So it's fine now?  
  
Luigi: I don't want to hear this crap, roll over on your belly. I might as well do you again.  
  
Peach: With the same condom? You better put on two more.  
  
Luigi: Good, I can leave this one on.  
  
Peach: (groan) I'm gonna be sick. {Me too! Welcome to the club!} Take that one off, throw it away and put the two new ones on.  
  
Luigi: Yes, Peach.  
(Luigi walks into the bathroom and Peach rolls over on her side and watched Luigi walk inside)  
  
Peach: And don't wash that one out with hot water and slip it back on. that doesn't work.  
  
Luigi: Yes, Peach.  
  
Peach: And don't put the used condom on after you put the new ones on.  
  
Luigi: Yes, Peach.  
  
Peach: And don't put the used condom between the new ones.  
  
Luigi: Yes, Peach. {That's nasty!}  
  
Peach: (sigh) I better go in there and see.  
[Peach gets out of bed and follows Luigi. She's nude, but the princess's backside is being shown. {Nice ass.}]  
  
[scene shift to Toad and Fuchsia]  
  
Toad: Are we there yet?  
  
Fuchsia: Don't be a Simpson.  
  
Toad: I'm bored, can we take a break?  
  
Fuchsia: No, wait a little later.  
  
Toad: Fine, I'll go peacefully. Man, I can't believe how whipped I am. I bet Mario and Luigi aren't being whipped around like this.  
  
Luigi: Where did you learn to tie me up like a chicken?  
  
Peach: You want to whine huh? Here, you can taste the whip. (crack tch)  
  
Luigi: OW!  
  
Peach: You liked that, huh? Well have another one. (crack tch)  
  
Luigi: OW! This hurts!  
  
Peach: You gonna' put your condoms on right from now on, aren't you?  
  
Luigi: Yes.  
  
Peach: Sex is gonna' be good from now on, isn't it?  
  
Luigi: I hope so.  
  
Peach: Wrong answer. (crack tch)  
  
Luigi: OW! This ain't funny anymore.  
  
Peach: Of course not, it's just fun. (crack tch)  
  
Luigi: OW!  
  
DKR  
  
(Diddy sits at his study, wondering) Diddy seemed a bit puzzled about his team's present predicament. He knew that winning is the only thing that can save them from losing the Race Wars. That was the only thing his team we could do, being in a tie was no exception.  
  
Diddy: Three straight wins, that's what we need. Three straight wins. (sigh) It's not going to be easy getting three straight victories... it's impossible, really. This may not be ordinary, but there's no choice left but to do so. (Diddy began to pray) I hope this works.  
(there's rapping at Diddy's door)  
  
Timber: Diddy, are you in there?  
  
Diddy: Yeah, come on in. (Timber walks in and takes a seat) So what's up?  
  
Timber: Just thinking about our predicament, that's all. Why are you on your knees?  
  
Diddy: I was about to pray.  
  
Timber: Prayer... you don't mind if I join you, right?  
  
Diddy: I'm not forcing you.  
(Timber shrugged and join Diddy in prayer)  
  
MKR  
  
Fuchsia: Here we are, Toad.  
  
Toad: Thank you, God...  
It took a while, but they finally made it to Fuchsia's mom's house. [Fuchsia knocks on the door and her mom opens the door.]  
  
Fuchsia: Hi, Mom.  
  
Dell: Ooh, you came to visit me again. Give me a hug, honey.  
  
Fuchsia: (hugs her mom) I brought someone for you to meet today.  
  
Dell: I can see that. So this is my future son-in-law?  
  
Toad: Son-in-law? Uhh, we didn't get that far yet.  
  
Dell: Come on in you two.  
*  
  
Dell: So Toad, how is your sex life going?  
  
Fuchsia: Mother?  
  
Toad: Now, now ladies. We're all grown-ups here, so let's not get there.  
  
Dell: But my question....  
  
Toad: It's fine, really.  
  
Fuchsia: Well, we'll be here for a few hours, so let's get to the room.  
  
Dell: Now hon, don't shoo your hubby away from his mother-in-law.  
  
Toad: I wish she'd stop saying that. Listen, um, why do you keep calling me your son-in-law?  
  
Dell: So you don't want to make a longlife nuppie with my daughter? This is just being a--What are those guys called? That's it. You're just another one of those playas, ain'tcha'?  
  
Toad: Excuse me for a minute "Mommy Dearest." FUCHSIA!!!!!  
[Toad went into the room to talk to Fuchsia.]  
  
Toad: What is with your mother?  
  
Fuchsia: We're Love Mushrooms, Toad. My mom is really emotional when it comes to relations.  
  
Toad: Well, I know where you get it from now.  
  
Fuchsia: Toad, That's not funny.  
  
Dell: Hey you two, what's going on in there?  
  
Fuchsia & Toad: Nothing.  
  
Dell: Ooh, you two are having nookie in there. I want pictures.  
  
Fuchsia: No pictures!  
  
Dell: Then let me get the camcorder.  
  
Toad: Camcorder?  
  
Dell: Of course, I want this on tape.  
(Toad blacks out)  
  
Fuchsia: Toad... Toad... Ah man, you made him pass out Mom. Thanks a lot.  
  
Dell: Does that mean I can't get this on tape?  
  
Meanwhile, Mario and the rest of the gang were planning the rest of the races.  
  
Mario: Okay folks, let's close up shop and get this thing over with. All we need is one flag to win this Race Wars, just one.  
  
Bowser: I love this. the meat was tasty and I'm picking' m'teeth with da' pick. One last run and this is ours.  
  
Mario: Okay people, there are only three people left to race and that's Peach, Bowser and Luigi. One of you have to nab the last flag for us. If you do, it's all over.  
  
Peach: One last ride to win this contest once and for all. It's time for them to see how a race is truly done.  
  
KT: Hey Luigi, you look a little beat.  
  
Luigi: You can say that. I'm still a little sore.  
  
Baby Mario: You look like you got whipped good.  
  
Luigi: Yeah, that's what happened.  
  
Thunder: Yeah, a leather whip looked like it hit your ass a couple of times.  
  
Peach: No, it was made out of pigskin. (covers her mouth) Wait, I didn't say that.  
  
Daisy: What!? Why are you beating Luigi with my whip?  
  
Mario: What do you mean, your whip.  
  
Daisy: I didn't say that.  
  
Baby Mario: That's not what I heard.  
  
Princesses: Be quiet, Baby.  
  
Thunder: The fetishes these princesses have are painful.  
  
Bowser: You should've met my wife, she really wanted to kick someone's ass. And she wasn't nasty at all, which really scared me.  
  
Thunder: Really?  
  
Baby Mario: Why don't you have any pictures of your wife?  
  
Bowser: I got rid of them when she passed away. Sometimes people have to move on with life, even if someone leaves their life whom they love.  
  
Baby Mario: Koopa, you're scaring me.  
  
KT: You two, huh?  
  
Mario: Look, we'll talk about the whip later. Anyway, back to winning this thing.  
  
Bowser: You humans are so masochistic nowadays, it makes me sick. Let's face it, Diddy and his clowns are going to try and pull a victory on all of us by winning three straight.  
  
Baby Mario: That means it's your job to stop them.  
  
Bowser: Nothing is gonna' beat me now. I'm all pumped with vigor, it's scary.  
  
Peach: Yeah, whatever.  
  
Bowser: You guys get all of the credit sometimes, a guy like me never gets to have any fun. (\_/) Bad guys need to have fun like you guys do, too.  
  
KT: Time-out. Look you guys, this is getting out of hand, everything. Come on now, I mean, fun for the bad, whipping of the brothers by the princesses, scaring the hell out of me and the babe here, what is wrong with you people?  
  
Luigi: KT has a point. Let's discuss our issues later and get back to victory. Now, here's how it's going to work...  
  
*  
  
DKR  
  
The Diddy Kong Racers had one last meal before the sun finally went down.  
  
Diddy: Listen, tonight may be the final night of the Race Wars for both reasons... win, or lose. We have three shots left in us and we need to hit bull's-eyes with each one. Now only three of you are left to do anything and they are Timber, Pipsy and Krunch. Let's not put any extra pressure on you now, there's too much of that. All I'm saying is that I have faith in all of you, no matter if you win or not. Should we win, then we truly earned it and kicked some major ass... and if not, this was really fun and I'm proud of all of us, especially myself.  
  
Darion: I have one question. What happens if you tie?  
  
Diddy: Then-  
  
Darion: Let me ask that question again so you understand what I mean. After all of the races have been done and the flags tallied, what happens if you tie?  
  
Diddy: If we tie, then we're taking it home. Timber, Pipsy, Krunch, these last flags are yours and all you have to do is take them. Unlike how we really cheered you on by going to the track with you, this time you three go alone as we watch here.  
  
Krunch: Are you sure you want to do this?  
  
Diddy: Yes.  
  
Pipsy: Why?  
  
Diddy: Because if we showed up, that would only put more pressure on your shoulders, not to mention your wheels.  
  
Timber: (shrugs) If you say so, Diddy.  
  
Nightfall on Crescent Island, the first of the last three races. The three DKR racers sat ready in their hovercrafts at the line with Taj, trying to foreshadow the feat that they have to accomplish.  
  
Timber: Are you guys ready?  
  
Krunch: I was born ready.  
  
Pipsy: You said that you were born late.  
  
Krunch: (!-_-) It's an expression.... How do you feel?  
  
Pipsy: Nervous.  
  
Darion: Maybe I can help with that.  
  
Krunch: what are you doing here, Darion?  
  
Darion: Don't worry about me, I'm just watching. That's all, and nothing more.  
(Suddenly the MKR racers showed up)  
  
Darion: Well, I guess it's time to race. Good luck to all of you... and Pipsy, you don't be nervous anymore. If you do, you'll become scared.  
  
Mario: So, Pipsy's feeling scared eh? This is going to be easy. Peach, this is all yours.  
  
Peach: Gotcha' nice and clear, Mario. Looks like this be the last time you and I go head up, Pipsy. You better make this one good or you'll put your whole team down.  
  
Pipsy: Save your sympathy for after we win.  
  
Peach: She's cocky now, good. This might help her.  
[The ladies lined up at the line, kart vs 'craft.]  
  
DK: Okay ladies, if you really said that you were the "Queen of Racing", this race is going to prove it. Good luck to both of you and get ready to roll.  
  
Taj: Shake hands ladies, for this is the last time you'll have to do this. (the girls shake) Very good sportswomen you are. Well, without further ado, let's get this race going. Ladies, take your marks, get set, GO!  
  
(Both racers blazed off down the first turn) And there they go, ready to give the best of racing to this one flag. The Racing Queen is going to be decided. [Both ladies took the left fork and hit the zipper, but Pipsy nabbed the weapon, a shield. Into the next turn, Peach nabbed a Speed Shield as the two ladies were neck and neck into the zipper and around the next turn. When the pirate ship came up, the two ladies went up the gangplank and into the hull and the next two turns.]  
  
Pipsy: I'll go around on the final lap, or the one that needs it... Whichever comes first.  
[On the final turn, both ladies zipped and hit the shortcut in line and crossed the first lap.] In the booths, the racers were talking about the race.  
  
Darion: This can't keep going on.  
  
Mario: Hey X, if this race ends like this, we'll win our thirteenth flag and the wars. You guys will win a battle, but lose the war.  
  
Darion: I'm aware of that. Just relax Mario, this race isn't over yet.  
  
Mario: You're right, this race isn't over. The Race Wars are over my friend, and you're going to witness it first-hand. Hehehehehehe.  
  
After being in a tight spot, both ladies used their shields and Peach took the lead going into the pirate ship. Peach's weapon wore off as she left the ship and Pipsy went through the hull and was a second behind.  
  
Pipsy: I guess I lost. Oh well, I might as well finish with everything I have.  
  
[As the first turn of the final lap went on, something happened that changed the whole course of the race. [Pipsy hit the RW icon after the zipper and was give a chance to bite the bullet.]  
  
Pipsy: (!^_^) Oh thank God.  
  
Pipsy was given a Thunder Bullet and used it quickly. Peach was hit directly and soon rundown by Pipsy's hovercraft. {She got lucky, that's all!}  
  
Mario Bros.: Lucky rat.  
  
Bowser: Ain't this a bitch? {Took the words right out of my mouth.}  
  
KT: Let me know when it's over, I've lost interest in the race.  
  
Darion: Looks like we win this race, Ma-rio.  
  
The race is over and Pipsy won the flag. DK gave the flag to the ecstatic mouse as she jumped for joy.  
  
Pipsy: (^_^) I won. I won. I won! I am the Queen or Racing!  
  
Mario: You just got lucky, your majesty.  
  
Pipsy: Diddy's going to be happy with me. Bye!  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-11  
MKR-12  
  
*  
  
MKR  
  
(horns wail, motors run, vehicles pass by) The sounds of Toad's Turnpike can be relaxing the those who know it. But for those in need of victory, it's trouble. Taj: Donkey Kong and I agreed that this course should really be a challenge for you two. This flag won't come easy... and this time we literally mean it.  
  
DK: Now, normally you would race this track with traffic. Tonight, you race against traffic.  
  
Krunch: So what does that mean?  
  
DK: That means the cars and trucks and buses are coming at you.  
  
Krunch: Holy shit, are you out of your mind!?  
  
Bowser: Scurred? Poor little baby, gonna' wet his diapie!  
  
Krunch: At least I won't lose my teeth like you'll lose your dentures.  
  
Bowser: (*\_/) Dentures?! Grab your kart and let's go, your ass is mine!  
[Krunch and Bowser line up at the line, reved up and ready to go.]  
  
Bowser: Get ready to lose, baby.  
  
Krunch: We'll see who loses, "Old Man."  
  
Jugem: Okay people, this race is important to both sides, because this flag can change the wars altogether. Good luck to both of you, you're going to need a lot of it.  
(Jugem held the light on his pole and it went down the colors. Once the light went green, the heavyweights zoomed of like rockets)  
  
Krunch: See ya', pops.  
[Krunch's taunt caught up to him quickly as he crashed into a car.]  
  
Bowser: Be careful, junior, traffic's a bitch right now.  
  
Bowser raced this course time and time again in both directions, so he knew what he was doing. Krunch on the other hand, only went with traffic, but that didn't stop the teenage gator from trying to win this one.  
  
Krunch: Diddy, this is one thing you're going to respect me by. Winning this race ties both sides going into the final flag, but from what I know about that turtle, this isn't an easy feat to accomplish.  
  
Going into the second turn heading for the straight-away, Bowser's keen driving, along with an emergency Shield, gave him an edge to drive on Normal Road.  
  
Bowser: This is too easy, the race here is in the bag. But just in case that kid tries to pull anything screwy, I have my--Hey, where did my Shield go?  
  
Krunch: Thanks for the gift, pops. Oh, watch out for that bus.  
  
Bowser: What bus?  
(Crash)  
  
Krunch: That bus. Heh, this will come in handy here.  
  
Bowser: That cost me, but I'm not out of the race yet. {Just don't get cheaped out like Princess did.}  
  
Down the straight line they went while dodging vehicles along the way. Mario and Timber were watching this in the booths.  
  
Timber: I'm glad I'm not racing here, this is dangerous.  
  
Luigi: You got the last race with me, frady cat.  
  
Timber: You're not so tough.  
  
Mario: Hey, I'm watching a race here...  
  
Timber: You aren't the only one. Krunch, you gotta' win this one. Keep that lead, whatever you do.  
  
Luigi: (mockingly) So Timber, have you said your speech about getting your butt kicked by me?  
  
Timber: Why should I?  
[Scene change to third turn.]  
  
Luigi: Because even if Krunch wins this race and flag, I'll be taking the next flag home to the MKR side.  
  
Timber: What are those marks on you from man, you look a little whipped?  
  
Luigi: Rope burns, that's all.  
  
Timber: You like pain for pleasure, don't you?  
  
Luigi: NO!  
  
Timber: You are one sick individual. Pain for pleasure, that's S&M man.  
  
Mario: Can we just watch the race?  
  
Timber: It's not my fault that your brother's a sick freak.  
  
Luigi: Talk yourself into a whoopass stew, Timber. I'll be glad to add you to the pot.  
  
Timber: I need a new scratching post for my claws, but you'll do personally. Not that I'm picky...  
  
Mario & Taj: Shut up already.  
  
[The final lap and things are neck and neck.]  
  
Bowser: You look a little banged up, kid.  
  
Krunch: At least I didn't have to catch a bus.  
  
Bowser: (-_-) Har, har, har. But you caught a truck.  
  
Krunch: Yeah, it hurt. But not like the semi triplets that you made friends with. {I love it when they talk head.}  
  
[Down the line they went, picking up a Missile as they entered the first turn. Both crashed, but quickly recovered. Bowser ran into another car and Krunch laughed, but soon caught the bus and Bowser passed by.]  
  
Bowser: Misery loves company, you know.  
(Blam! Boom, boom, boom) Krunch: Yes it does, and It also loves trucks too.  
  
[Bowser crashes into another semi. {That'll leave a mark.}]  
  
Krunch: This is all mine baby, the flag belongs to me.  
Around the second turn, Krunch led the race, but Bowser wasn't far behind. [Down the straight-away they went head up, dodging cars along the way. They both got missiles, but Krunch had a 10pak.]  
  
Krunch: It's time we ended this match.  
  
Bowser: I agree, it's time we finished this once and for all.  
  
[With that, Bowser passed Krunch and shot him with his weapon and the turtle went throughout turn three. This angered the gator and it fueled him to make it a close race.] It seems like this race is almost over. With the flag running closer, as was the finish line, Krunch decided to unload on Bowser. this helped him as he crossed the line, taking first place from the boss of Bwahaha! Once Taj handed Krunch the flag, Bowser shrugged it off and shook Krunch's hand.  
  
Krunch: You aren't mad, are you?  
  
Bowser: No not really, I would've done the same thing.  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-12 MKR-12  
  
*  
  
Now it's time for the final race of the Race Wars, Moo Moo Farm. There were only four people allowed into this track. They were the judges, Luigi and Timber. [Taj and DK were across from the starting line while Luigi and Timber shook hands in their karts.]  
  
Luigi: It's time.  
  
Timber: Yup, good luck to you.  
  
Luigi: (mockingly) I hope you said your prayers, kitty cat.  
  
Timber: As a matter of fact, I did. Just before sundown.  
  
Luigi: Nice comeback.  
  
Timber: Thanks, but I really said my prayers before sundown.  
  
Taj: This is for the win... GO!  
(Both racers blazed off.)  
  
Meanwhile outside in the mainland, both sides wondered who would win.  
  
Diddy: This sucks, they won't even let us watch this race.  
  
Baby Mario: Yeah, I wanted to see this one too.  
  
Mario: I don't need to watch my brother take the thirteenth flag home to our side.  
  
Diddy: And what happens if Luigi doesn't end up with the flag and Timber has it?  
  
Mario: I'm sorry, I just don't see that.  
  
Diddy: Is it that hard for you to swallow?  
  
Mario: No, I just don't see that.  
  
Jugem: What?... Okay... Are you two sure about this?... I see.  
  
Diddy: What's up, Jugem?  
  
Jugem: Both sides have a flag.  
  
Diddy & Mario: You're kidding me, right?  
  
Jugem: Nope, we're tied at thirteen and going into... Flag Capture!  
(Both captains look at each other)  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-13 MKR-13  
sudden death now..... 


	12. flag takin time

RACE WARS  
PART 11  
FLAG CAPTURE MODE PART 1  
  
Luigi and Timber walks into the main area both holding the thirteenth flag for both sides.  
  
Diddy & Mario: What happened?  
  
Luigi: We're both holding flags and you want to know what happened?  
  
Timber: Get a clue you guys.  
  
Diddy: Oh well, we tied. So now what happens?  
  
DK: What happens is Flag Capture Mode. Listen carefully. Now, we didn't do all of the races for flags, so that's how everything will-  
  
Darion: Hey, look at that rainbow...  
  
Taj: What rainbow?  
  
Yoshi: This one!  
(Before them all, The Rainbow of ten colors showed itself)  
  
Mario: Here we go.  
  
Judges: Can somebody tell me what's going on here?  
  
Toad: We're going to find out, here they come.  
  
Darion: Who is they?  
  
Toad: The Y Team.  
  
The colorful display soon left and revealed Yoshi and his nine colorful brethren.  
  
Yoshi: Hey, did I miss anything?  
  
Toad: We're tied at thirteen.  
  
Blaze: Good, then we'll take it from here.  
  
Yoshi: Are you sure that the nine of you know what you're doing?  
  
Blaze: Of course we are.  
  
Taj: Wait just a minute. What's going on here?  
  
Thunder: I'll handle this one. Goodman Kong over there had a specific way of dealing with this contest and that was to wager the flags you had against each other.  
  
DK: (O_O) I didn't tell you that.  
  
Thunder: Of course not, I overheard you planning this the night before everything went into fruition. Listen up you racers, there's been a change of plans. This capture mode works like so... every race you have from now on, you wager the flags that you hold.  
  
Timber: Get to the point, pinkie.  
  
Thunder: You won't be racing on the courses that you know and mastered, no. You will be racing on our tracks now.  
  
Yoshi: What tracks?  
  
Thunder: Sorry bro, but when I found out about the sudden death the DK was planning, I told the other Y Team members about this and designed our own courses.  
  
Blaze: We kept this from you, since you were one of the racers for the MKR side. If we told you, you would've instantly practiced on these courses, giving yourself and your side the advantage. The nine courses you all are going to race will be from every other color of the Yoshi Rainbow.... except the green one of course.  
  
Taj: And just what are you nine trying to prove here?  
  
Yoshi: Yeah guys, what's up?  
  
Umbra: This is to prove how good you race on a track you have no idea how to race.  
  
Breeze: We're going to see how well you race each other and it will really prove which side is better. Unless of course, both sides are to scared to race them.  
  
Mario: We aren't afraid of anyone's courses.  
  
Diddy: We don't back down from anyone.  
  
Captains: You're on!  
  
Thunder: Good, then let's get this show on the road. To the Island.  
*  
  
On Yoster's Isle, both teams were at an urban area.  
  
Quake: Welcome to Yoster's Isle. Here, the sudden death rules will be done here. You have nine courses to settle who is the better team.  
  
Power: Now, I was able to swipe this coin forged from pure magic made by Taj, but the only problem was that it was blank, Well, I made sure that wasn't to be that way for long. On one side of the coin, the initials DKR are on it and MKR on the other side. The coin hits the ground and lands on one of the sides. Whatever side it lands on, chooses how many flags the race is for and the other side chooses the racer. The racer goes head up with his or her rival. Flag Mode continues until either side has all of the flags, there will be no more ties.  
  
Timber: What about the racing?  
  
Power: You lose the race, you lose your flags and they go to the other side. Should the race end in a draw, you will do one more lap until somebody wins.  
  
Pipsy: How can we tell if there's a tie?  
  
Power: These track are controlled by nine different computers and are all electronic. The track will tell you... (pushes a button)  
  
?: One more lap!  
  
Pipsy: Can't we just keep the flags we have?  
  
Power: (\_/) Since you didn't hear me, I will tell you again so your big ears hear me this time... THERE WILL BE NO MORE TIES!!! (-_-) Now, are there any more questions?  
(silence)  
  
Power: Good. Breeze, get this show on the road.  
  
Breeze: Okay, here's the first course... Towers of the Wind.  
  
[Breeze lifted his arms to the sky and from the ground, the course rose. The towers were high above the ground.]  
  
Timber: Those are really big towers.  
  
Breeze: Here's how it works. You take this trail into the first tower, where you go up. then across that bridge and into the second tower, where you go down. Then you go through the end of the track, across the water and cross the line. Everyone of our races are four laps long, so enjoy it.  
  
Taj: Could I flip the coin now?  
  
Power: I place the coin in the flipper and it will tell us what.  
(Power placed the coin on its edge in the flipper. Then the coin was flipped an it landed MKR up)  
  
Power: Mario, what are we playing for?  
  
Mario: Let's start out small, then go big. Three flags, Power.  
  
Power: Taj, DK, three flags please. (Power was handed six flags) Diddy, who's racing?  
  
Diddy: Drumstick, you're first.  
  
Drumstick: Okay. Ready when you are, KT.  
  
KT: Already there.  
[KT and Drumstick take to their karts and went to the line.]  
  
Breeze: This race will take the lead, so good luck. And watch your step on the way up... and down. Get ready... get set... go!  
(The racers blazed off and now playing, "Twister Season".)  
  
Diddy: Good luck.  
Drumstick and KT began the race going down the straight-away. Neither of them knew what to expect on this course, so they'll find out after the first lap.  
  
[The racers went off the first turn and then into the first tower.]  
  
KT: Whoa, this is nasty.  
  
Drumstick: Jumping giblets.  
[The racers soon went into the hard turn going up the tower.] Going up the tower was no easy task, seeing as there were a lot of gaps in the guardrail. This seemed like a tough track to complete.... Well Yoshi Breeze, you really did your homework. Outside, the other teammates could only watch.  
  
Mario: When are they getting out of this tower?  
  
Breeze: It's going to be a long while, maybe longer if you fall from the top of the tower.  
  
Timber: Hey everybody, there they go.  
(Both racers are atop of the bridge and entered the second tower)  
  
Toad: Are there any shortcuts in there?  
  
Breeze: Nope. In the first tower, the winds go down and in the second tower, the winds go up. If you try to cut through the opened guardrail to try to hit the cut, chances are that the wind will catch you.  
  
Toad: I see.  
  
On the way down, KT has the lead thanks to Drumstick's mishap in trying to cut the jump and was whisked upward.  
  
KT: This is cool, I can go down... but, going up's a bitch.  
  
Drumstick: Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!  
[Out of the tower, and across the water, KT had a good lead.]  
  
KT: What a racetrack, this is a good one indeed.  
  
At the end of the race, KT took the win.  
  
Drumstick: What a tough course, Diddy. Did this had to be so tough?  
  
Breeze: Winds aren't always calm, my feathered friend. And if you think that was tough, wait until Power gets done with you.  
  
Diddy: Now this sucks.  
  
Breeze: Winds don't suck, they blow. {That didn't sound right.}  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-10 MKR-16  
  
*  
  
The next day, the racers woke up to thunder... Yoshi Thunder, that is.  
  
Timber: Hey, what's the big idea, you scared me half to death?  
  
Thunder: Lightning can be scary, but it could also be comforting. Now get up, it's time for the next race.  
  
Krunch: (yawn) haven't you ever heard about breakfast?  
  
Mario: Breakfast was an hour ago.  
  
DKR: What?  
  
Mario: Wake up on time and you'll get breakfast.  
  
Diddy: But it's eight a.m. now.  
  
Thunder: Breakfast is at seven, now off your asses and let's go!  
[Scene, a dark place with a black sky.]  
  
Thunder: Welcome to Speed Way.  
  
Mario: Speedway, what kind of a name is that?  
  
Thunder: Not Speedway, Speed Way! It's two words, not one. Anyway, this is your race of pure speed, just like this name implies. There is only one problem... Falling and lots of it. There is nothing to keep you from falling on this course, and to make things worse... this course has streakers.  
  
Pipsy: What's a streaker?  
  
Thunder: Look at this table, it will answer your question.  
(Our pink Yoshi placed a model car onto the table and pushed it, but halfway across the table, the car stopped cold then was shot quickly across the table)  
  
Pipsy: (O_O) Whoa.  
  
Timber: So that's a streaker?  
  
Mario: That makes a sure in for constant falling, and that makes for tough turns.  
  
Power: Diddy, what are we playing for?  
  
Diddy: I'm ready to change this war. Seven flags!  
  
Bumper: Diddy, are you out of your mind?  
  
Diddy: I have faith in my team.  
  
Mario: We'll see about that. Ladies, to the line.  
  
Berri: You have to be a little more specific on that one.  
  
Mario: Peach, you're racing this one.  
  
Peach: Got it, Mario.  
  
[Peach and Pipsy took to the line and Yoshi Thunder was given fourteen flags.]  
  
Diddy: Go get 'em, Pipsy.  
  
Timber: Yeah, go girl.  
  
Berri: Keep rollin', Pipsy.  
  
Thunder: Ladies, before you race, take this word of advice.  
  
Peach & Pipsy: And what might that be?  
  
Thunder: If you don't know now, or don't know how to use them, This track will tell you... use your brakes. Get ready... get set... go!  
[The girls carefully drove off. Now playing, "Pink Lightning".]  
  
And the race is on. Not only was the first stretch long, but the girls hit the first streaker and fell off of the first turn. the two girls were lifted back onto the first turn where the race continued. [After that, the two girls were tied up as they hit the next turn.]  
  
Pipsy: Hey, how does he expect us to cross that gap?  
  
Peach: That's no gap, it's more like a ravine. Wait a minute, there's a streaker there. Get ready to break, Peach.  
[A couple of seconds passed by and the girls were launched from the second streaker and shot across the ravine-like gap as if going off of a dash zone. Peach saw her wheels touch the ground and began to brake as she hit the next turn. Pipsy caught on too late and fell off the third turn.] (Peach laughed as she watched Pipsy fall off turn three, but soon fell off of turn four)  
  
Diddy: Serves her right.  
  
Mario: Whatever.  
[Pipsy rolled off and passed by Peach, who just made it onto the track.] On they went down the line. The girls hit the final streaker, that hit the final gap and after a couple of seconds, went across the final turn and headed across the line ending their first lap. As the second lap began, things were starting to heat up.  
  
Pipsy: I am the Racing Queen, victor of all tracks.  
  
Peach: Well pardon me for proving you wrong, "your majesty."  
  
Timber: I hope this goes by quickly.  
  
Thunder: That's the whole idea my cub friend.  
  
Halfway into the second lap, Pipsy had the lead for a while until the end of the second lap, where Peach caught up and took the lead.  
  
Krunch: This is interesting. I can't believe that a race like this is so exciting, I hope I don't have to kick your ass, Diddy.  
  
Diddy: Relax, Krunch. As long as you don't jinks us, we can take this.  
  
Luigi: This is one tough course, huh Mario?  
  
Mario: Yeah. Thunder did his homework.  
  
As the girls went on, both seemed eager to win.  
  
Pipsy: I'm not going to let you win this race.  
  
Peach: That's what I was going to say. Well, it's time to take seven more flags.  
(Both girls went around each turn with precision) It seemed like the girls would be going through another lap, but when the next streaker come up...  
  
Pipsy: Not this time!  
[Pipsy fired a Missile at Peach, causing her to fall into the pit and Pipsy streaked across it.] After all of this time, Pipsy has finally done the one thing that no one else on her team could do, take the lead for the DKR side. At the line, Yoshi Thunder delivered the fourteen flags to Pipsy.  
  
Pipsy: That's it... Thank goodness that's over with. I'm really happy to take the lead for us.  
  
Mario: Not to ba, Pipsy. You actually, after all of this time, finally took the lead.  
  
Blaze: It's not over yet you guys. Let's take a break and after it, you will race through fire... and brim-stone.  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-17 MKR-9  
*  
  
After the break, Yoshi Blaze took the racers to a literally hot spot.  
  
Timber: Boy, it sure is hot out here.  
  
Luigi: Hel-lo, this is a desert here. It kinda' reminds ya' of the climate in Desert Land huh?  
  
Peach: You said it. (whew) It's times like this that I'm happy that I'm wearing this mini instead of my long gown.  
  
Berri: I can work on my tan line out here.  
  
Blaze: This is my cue to insult, but that's not why I'm here. Besides, I'm glad that you like the heat, because we're headed for the "Rock". You see that mountain over there?  
  
Diddy: Yeah, what about it?  
  
Yoshi: It leads to Magma Valley. It's past that mountain where the valley begins.  
  
Baby Mario: You mean your track is inside of a valley where lava ceases to flow?  
  
Blaze: You don't have to race it, kid. But hey, you've a diaper to fill...  
  
Baby Mario: Very funny.  
  
Blaze: Now as I say in the IWF, "It's time to turn the heat up."  
  
Timber: What's the IWF?  
  
Blaze: The Island Wrestling Federation. I didn't bring it though, but I'm the IWF X-Treme Champion. But enough about me. Mario, what are we going for?  
  
Mario: I know how to deal with this... Five flags, Blaze (handing the flags over. Diddy does the same).  
  
Blaze: Diddy...  
  
Diddy: One more time, Mario. If you want the lead back, you're going to have to earn it.  
  
Mario: Good, Diddy. I hope you brought you hovercraft.  
  
Diddy: Shucks, I only brought my plane...  
  
Blaze: This is a hover-only course.  
  
Taj: Gotcha' covered.  
(Using his magic, Taj teleported Diddy's hovercraft onto the starting line)  
  
Blaze: And now, we can get this race started.  
[The two captains lined up in their hovercrafts and stared at the line]  
  
Blaze: Get ready... get set... GO!  
(both racers went off. Now playing, "Turn the Heat Up!") Yoshi Blaze was smart when he did this course, because the only weapons here were shields. and by the looks of the course, you're going to be needing a lot of them.  
  
Mario: This is a long course... at least that's how it seems.  
  
Diddy: Long or not, I'm gonna' beat you.  
  
[Around the first hard left turn, both racers crashed into the wall and adjusted themselves After the second right turn, there were a series of turn that lead into a gauntlet.] Outside, the others awaited them with Yoshi Blaze.  
  
Conker: How is this course set up?  
  
Blaze: Well, after the first ninety degree left, they enter a tunnel and hit the second easy right. From there, it's a gauntlet that stews through the whole valley, so each lap is going to take a while. The gauntlet is set up somewhat like Yoshi Valley, but with more hazards and a few dark pathways. Sometimes, you might be going around in circles thanks to the tricky turn signs. Let's see how long it takes to go through one lap.  
  
Pipsy: What kind of weapons are in the course?  
  
Blaze: This course tests your endurance and drafting skills, sister. Only shields can help you here... and you will need them!  
  
Taj: This is interesting, but having only the Shield to protect you and the Speed Shield-  
  
Blaze: Excuse me?  
  
Taj: I said that it was-  
  
Blaze: What were the last two words that left your mouth before I cut you off?  
  
Taj: Speed Shield.  
  
Blaze: That won't help them.  
  
Taj: Why not?  
  
Blaze: Because they aren't in there. This is just a shield course and nothing more.  
  
Mario was having a bit of trouble going down a black tunnel.  
  
Mario: Sheesh, where are the lights in these tunnels? I can't see a thi-- OW, I bumped into another wall again. I hope Diddy is doing better than I am. Diddy was having problems of his own.  
  
Diddy: I hate this course, I hate this course, I hate this course! I can't take another lap of this, I quit!  
  
Five minutes after going through the whole valley, both racers met up again.  
  
Mario: So how are you holding up?  
  
Diddy: I fell after my third turn. And you?  
  
Mario: I fell once I left the first of three black tunnels. I-I don't know about you, but I would never wish this course on anyone, including my enemies.  
  
Diddy: Same here.  
[The two finally crossed the line with the tip of their vehicles and came to a full stop. Blaze stood next to them.]  
  
Blaze: What's wrong you guys, you still have three more laps to do?  
  
Captains: What are you, crazy? I'm not goin' through that again. I quit!  
  
Blaze: If that's the case, then there's only one thing left for me to do then... (heads towards the flags)  
  
Mario: (whispers to Diddy) He's going to give us our five flags back.  
  
Diddy: (whispers to Mario) Thank goodness.  
  
Blaze: (\_o) That's what you think, but it's time for you to learn a lesson... All of you.  
  
Yoshi Blaze takes the ten flags and walks over to the two racers, who are now out of harms way and heads towards them.  
  
Blaze: Watch carefully everyone, this is a once in a lifetime experience.  
  
Toad: Hmmm, something's not right with this picture.  
  
Shadow: You can sense it as well? Good, you should.  
  
When the Yoshi Blaze approached the teams, he then turned away and tossed them into the air.  
  
Blaze: Rising Fire!  
[Blaze takes his pose as he raised his right hand palm faced up into the air, then channeled a flamethrower into the air which submerged all ten flags. When the flags hit the ground, they turned into ash.]  
  
Judges: (\_/) What the hell is wrong with you!?  
  
Blaze: Listen carefully, when we said that "There will be no more ties", we meant it. Since you both quit, you both lost your flags. Let this be a lesson for the rest of you, now let's get the hell out of here... Unless you want to be around when the volcano erupts.  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-12  
  
MKR-4  
*  
  
(Mario paced around the floor as the rest of the gang sat at the castle)  
  
Mario: I can't believe he did that.  
  
Fuchsia: Me neither.  
  
Peach: Mario, this is all your fault. If you wouldn't have said that you quit, we would've been in the lead.  
  
Mario: How was I supposed to know that Blaze would burn the flags, Diddy and I thought Blaze was going to give them back?  
  
Yoshi: That's brother Blaze for you, a real hothead.  
  
Toad: I should've saw this coming.  
  
Yoshi: Me too, Toad. But we didn't know what was going to happen. Don't feel too bad about it.  
  
Shadow: (teleports in) Of course you shouldn't everyone, don't worry. At least now you know what to expect if another double quit.  
  
Fuchsia: Shadow, are you back for another race with Darion?  
  
Shadow: Perhaps, Fuchsia. Are you still acting like a-  
  
Fuchsia: No, not anymore.  
  
Shadow: You really need to let go of your morals more often. Give him some ass every now and then.  
  
Toad: She gets that from her mother.  
  
DKR  
  
Diddy: He burned our flags up, I can't believe that!  
  
Krunch: What was the course like?  
  
Diddy: Terrible! I would never wish that kind of torture on any of you.  
  
Timber: It was that bad, huh?  
  
Diddy: It was horrible! You guys would've quit too... Well, except Darion. He doesn't back down from any race... right Pipsy?  
  
Pipsy: I don't know.  
  
Darion: I wonder... Where is Shadow?  
  
MKR  
  
Shadow: So the other nine member of the Y Team have taken over the contest? Where does the time fly?  
  
Toad: I don't know.  
  
Shadow: Of course not. Anyway, what is your new year's resolution?  
  
Luigi: To get more than I had last year.  
  
Peach: And what does that mean?  
  
Luigi: Look, last year I got a good remodeled house, my own room and a lot of coins. This year, I got the princess as a girlfriend and enough sex to send me to heaven.  
  
Mario: That's a good example. I mean last year, I made a new time on my raceway and fixed up the house. This year, I got Daisy as a lady and enough sex to make a legion of adversaries.  
  
Toad: I guess I can contribute to that. Last year I got a raise and souped my house, and this year... I got my world. Maybe next year I can create it.  
  
Yoshi: Aw, ain't 'dat sweet?  
  
Mario: How did you improve on the year?  
  
Yoshi: Wanted a pool last year, got one this year.  
  
Mario: Well, let's just kick it and rethink the rest of Race Wars.  
  
Luigi: Yeah, well let's think it over.  
  
Shadow: Good. This time, we'll be at full strength.  
to be continued..... 


	13. Darkside's lament

RACE WARS  
PART 12  
FLAG CAPTURE MODE PART 2  
  
After the shocker from Yoshi Blaze, both sides have a clear idea on what's to come. Even though they have a lot up for grabs, they still couldn't believe what that red Yoshi did to those ten flags.  
  
Mario: Yoshi, you have to talk to your brothers about the flag scenario.  
  
Yoshi: Why me?  
  
Peach: They're your brothers. Even you can over power them, right?  
  
Yoshi: Look, I may be the oldest one and the leader of the Y Team, but Blaze is as old as I am.  
  
Luigi: You were born first, weren't you?  
  
Yoshi: Yes, but Blaze and I were born at the same instant.  
  
Baby Mario: Two eggs can be laid at once?  
  
Yoshi: Birth works a little differently when it comes to dinos kid, so listen up. It doesn't matter when your egg comes out, but when it hatches is how you're born. Blaze and I hatched first at the same time, then Quake, Breeze, Thunder, Power, Frost, Screech and then Stealth and Umbra hatched at the same time last. If anyone can judge my "authority", it's Blaze.  
  
Shadow: Ah, the chain of dominance. 'Tis a beautiful thing, you know?  
  
Fuchsia: True, but this is serious Shadow.  
  
Shadow: So much for control. You people have some issues to deal with, so I will go back to thinking to myself. I'll be back.  
  
DKR  
  
[Kicking back in his 'craft, Darion stares out at sea. Wondering about his last races with Shadow. He had a flashback is his first victory over Shadow then snapped back into reality.]  
  
Darion: Man is he fast. I never thought that someone like him could actually, without cheating...... catch me. I still can't shake the fact about what he said before we crossed the line at Rainbow Road that day...  
  
{This flashback is from the alternate ending of Shadow Run. The two racers were in the dip of the course just before the last turns of the course looking like a figure 8.} [Both racers were at a complete stop.]  
  
Darion: Shadow, tell me something. This rematch isn't out of spite, is it?  
  
Shadow: No. There's a reason for this race, Darion and it's a good one.  
  
Darion: Tell me.  
  
Shadow: I thought of myself as unmatchable by anyone, Lost or Found. But after my loss to you at Darkmoon Caverns, I thought that it was just me. I thought that I choked on that race, but after the last two laps, I realized that it wasn't me. You won that fairly.  
  
Darion: I felt the same way that you did. I never thought that anyone could be able to catch me, but when you barely beat me, I got to thinking. I never knew anyone that was as fast as I was, until I raced against you.  
  
Shadow: I too am surprised that I've found someone that can match my calibur. It's disturbing at first, but you get used to it. I thought I would never say this, but I'm going to. I'm glad that someone can finally be worthy the title of my rival.  
  
Darion: You took the words right out of my mouth.  
[End Flashback]  
  
Darion: Hmmm... Pipsy: Hey, Darion! Darion! Yoo hoo, over here! (Darion looks her way) Are you coming, we're headed to Yoster's Island?!  
  
Darion: No thanks! Go on ahead without me!  
  
Pipsy: 'Kay, buh-bye!  
  
(Darion watched his girlfriend leave, then he turned back to sea)  
  
Darion: Why is it that only a dead person can match me in racing and no living person can?  
*  
  
YI  
  
Yoshi: Look everyone, don't get mad at me because of what my brother Blaze did to those ten flags.  
  
Diddy: Don't feel so bad, Yoshi. After all, it wasn't your fault... it was Blaze's fault.  
  
Blaze: Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Your crying makes Baby Mario look good.  
  
Baby Mario: Hey?  
  
Blaze: Stop whining, kid. As for the rest of you babies who want to complain about things, take it to the church. Power, it's your turn.  
  
Power: They aren't ready for mine yet.  
  
Quake: Well, if that's the case, they can do mine. Follow me and be prepared, because there's going to be a "Hole lot of quaking' goin' on."  
  
Timber: (-_-) I don't get it.  
  
Quake: You won't get it, but you'll feel it.  
  
So Yoshi Quake led them to his course. [He simply led him to the line and stood behind it.]  
  
Bumper: Where's the course, I just see a lot of dirt?  
  
Boom Boom: Don't judge a course by it's cover.  
  
Mario: What are you doing here, Boom Boom?  
  
Boom Boom: Simple, I'm here to give the racers some trouble on this course.  
  
Quake: Welcome to Fissure City. This racetrack is underground and you will see the city down below and race through it.  
  
Timber: That seems easy.  
  
Quake: Really? Well, there's one thing you've neglected to figure out the hazard in the city.  
  
DKR: What hazard?  
  
Boom Boom: Me of course, but you'll find out first hand. I'll take my position right now. (Boom Boom took his spot in the center of the ground and stood there) All set everyone!  
  
Quake: Good. Mario, what are we playing for?  
  
Mario: Four flags, Quake.  
  
Quake: All or nothing for you guys, eh? At least you know that you have no choice. Diddy, who's up next?  
  
Diddy: Feeling up to the task, TT?  
  
TT: Sorry, but I stay above ground.  
  
Bumper: We badgers love the earth, this race will take me back to my roots.  
  
Yoshi: Good, that means I'm up again.  
  
(Eight flags were given to Quake and the two racers hit the line)  
  
Yoshi: Listen to me this time Bumper, My little bro Quake is really down to earth, literally. He knows how to control things when it comes to the ground. You might want to be careful this time.  
  
Bumper: Thanks for the warning, but I'm a subterranean mammal. Underground is my specialty, so save your preaching for Sunday morn.  
  
Quake: Get ready... get set... GO!  
[Both racers zoomed of. Now playing, "Boom, Boom, Bang!"]  
  
Yoshi: Good Luck.  
  
Bumper: Yoo too.  
  
It took a couple of seconds, but the two went down the first turn and into the tunnel. Once through the tunnel, they saw the underground city.  
  
Yoshi: This place looks sweet.  
  
Bumper: Weird.  
[Both drivers went the opposite ways of the fork.] Outside, Boom Boom was ready for his cue.  
  
Boom Boom: Three, two, one.... Boom! (jumps frantically)  
[Underground...]  
  
Bumper: Wh-wh-what's going on here? It feels like an earthquake.  
(A building came down onto the road, just missing Bumper's kart)  
  
Bumper: Just like old times....  
  
Yoshi: This isn't Quake's doing, Boom Boom must be going along with the hazards.  
  
Above ground, the other racers only worried about the worst.  
  
Diddy: I hope everything's okay down there.  
  
Quake: They're just lucky that I'm not doing the shaking and quaking on this course.  
  
Boom Boom: three, two, one.... Boom! (jumps frantically)  
[Underground...]  
  
Bumper & Yoshi: There goes that shaking again....  
[Above ground...]  
  
Pipsy: I don't like this, none of the racers made it out yet.  
  
Quake: You have a point. Boom Boom, calm down!  
(Boom Boom stopped jumping and decided to wait. It took a few moments, but Bumper finally exited the tunnel. As he crossed the line, Yoshi left the tunnel. Both teams cheered as Yoshi crossed the line)  
  
Yoshi: It's time for revival.  
It didn't take long, but Yoshi soon caught up with Bumper and the two racers went back into the the tunnel. (After ten seconds went by, Boom Boom started the shaking all over again)  
[Underground]  
  
Bumper: My god, what happened?  
  
Yoshi: Just shut up and race.  
  
Bumper: Are you just concerned about this race?  
  
Yoshi: You're the one that's the chicken shit. (zooms off)  
  
Bumper: (pursuing Yoshi) Oh no you don't!  
  
[Bumper went after Yoshi and when he went down that side of the fork, a building collapsed and fell behind him.]  
  
Bumper: Thank you, grandpa.  
Outside, Boom Boom was waiting for his next cue. (Quake placed his palm on the ground and lifted it up)  
  
Quake: Boom Boom, go a little easy on the next one. I don't like what I'm feeling right now, so take it easy just to make sure.  
  
Boom Boom: Sure, no problem. Here we go now, a little easy!  
(As Boom Boom began pounding his fists onto the ground, it still shook the underground city. The two racers were racing through the city)  
  
Yoshi: A lot of shaking is going on.  
  
Bumper: You can say that, but why is it lightening up now?  
  
Yoshi: Like I said, [Scene is above ground now] Quake can sense the feelings of the ground. He can tell the next earthquake coming and where there is an underground spring.  
  
Bumper: What did Quake do before he became a wrestler?  
  
Yoshi: I don't know, but when he stopped by, he was making a lot of money. Maybe he was an Oil Miner. [Scene is back to the race.] I don't know what else he did before then.  
  
Bumper: Oh. Well, It was nice knowing you.  
  
(Bumper zoomed off, but was quickly shot. Recovering from the attack, the shaking started again)  
  
Yoshi: It's time to go, but man I would give the blue coin in my shoe for a Speed Shield right now.  
[As Yoshi, now in the lead hit the item box, he got his wish. once he got it, he stopped his kart.] Even though the ground was shaking and it was possible that the building he was next to would fall on him, he placed the blue coin by the building and drove off towards the exit tunnel. Before he could get there, his instinct told him to use the weapon that he prayed for. And since he trusted his instincts, he did so and found out that it soon paid off. Not only did it give him a good seconds lead over Bumper and the Homing Missile that he fired, the building that was in front of the exit fell down.  
  
Yoshi: Whoa!  
  
[Yoshi made it through, but Bumper had to pump his brakes. He sighed in relief.]  
  
Bumper: Damn! Oh well, at least I didn't get crushed. I better turn around and get out of here before it's too late.  
  
Yoshi saw the building block off bumper and give him the victory that was coming to him. (Yoshi crossed the line and stepped out of his kart.)  
  
Mario: What's going on, Yoshi?  
  
Yoshi: This race is over, Mario. That's what's going on!  
(Quake and Boom Boom ran towards Yoshi)  
  
Boom Boom: Hey, where's Bumper?  
  
Yoshi: Still in the city. The exit got blocked off before he could get out, bro.  
  
Quake: That's bad.  
  
Diddy: Hey, what's going on over there?  
  
Taj: Yeah, where's Bumper?  
  
Bumper: Ahoy there!  
  
All: Huh?  
(Bumper Drove out ot the entrance tunnel and stopped at the line)  
  
Diddy & Quake: Hey, are you all right?  
  
Bumper: Yeah. I'm a little shakin', but not stirred.  
  
Quake: At least you're safe.  
  
Diddy: You crazy dinosaur, you almost got my friend and your brother killed on this track. Have you lost your mind?!  
  
Quake: Look, It took me a long hard time to make that course and I made sure that it was safer as a cloud. I raced through this against Breeze and Power was makin' the shakin' and he does it far worse than I do. Boom Boom can't even come close to me, so what makes you think that he can match Power's power?  
  
Darion: Quake, you are a sick individual. You almost buried two people alive down there. I don't care if you and you other sick brother want to kill someone for a little amusement that you call challenges.. W-what kind of challenge was that about anyway?  
  
Quake: It's being under pressure of course.  
  
Darion: I forbid to race on any of these crazy courses. No race is worth dying over!  
  
Quake: You're a well-seasoned racer yourself, right? Then you should know how to act under pressure as well as to face you fears. Look, since the exit got blocked off and Yoshi did the most laps, Yoshi gets the flags.  
  
Yoshi: I really don't want these flags bro, but I'm going to take them because I have no choice. I'm glad that everyone is safe. (turns to his team) Yo Mario, the MKR racers are back in business.  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-8 MKR-8  
  
After the shocker from the "Unearthed Town", both racers took two hours to break. During this time they had lunch, and a little unexpected twist.  
  
Stealth: Hey, someone destroyed my track!  
  
Yoshi: How can someone destroy your track, it's cloaked right?  
  
Stealth: Yeah, but that's not the worst thing. Someone left me this note.  
  
Toad: (snatching note from Stealth) Gimme' that thing.  
[Toad began to read the note.]  
  
Toad: I see the things that none can see... And not a thing can hide from me. My strike is hard, but never slow, destroying things in just one blow.  
  
Fuchsia: She's ba-ack.  
  
Mario: She's back?  
  
Diddy: Who's back?  
[music began playing.]  
  
Timber: Where is that music coming form?  
  
Toad: I don't know, but I'm going to find out. (runs away)  
  
Fuchsia: Toad, wait up! (Toad ran away from the site, following the music and he saw the figure. It was a female mushroom with a black hat with white diamonds on the hat, wore all black and looked like the sin of lust. The figure turns to Toad and shows her blue eyes, which are the only parts of her face to be shown)  
  
Toad: Well, well, well, it's been a long time..... Darkside.  
  
Darkside: I'm glad you remember me Toad, I missed seeing you.  
  
Toad: (-_-) Gee, I'm really touched.  
  
Mario: Hey Toad, what's going on here, is everything okay?  
  
Fuchsia: Darkside, what are you doing here?  
  
Darkside: Dealing with corruption as usual.  
  
Stealth: So you were the one who destroyed my track?  
  
Darkside: Of course. I have a lot more tracks to rid, so I bes' be on my way.  
  
Stealth: Not so fast, you have a lot of 'splaining to do.  
  
Darkside: These tracks test limits that shouldn't even be raced. The Y Team unjustly took over the Race Wars and I will make sure that this comes to an end.  
  
Power: Is that what you think? Good luck trying to find mine.  
  
(Darkside left to find the rest of the tracks)  
  
Frost: Anyway, Darkside can't destroy my track. C'mon you guys, let's go, and bring your hovercrafts.  
  
Yoshi Frost took the racers to Blizzard Bay and stepped up to the line.  
  
Frost: Okay people, Now that the race is tied, welcome to Blizzard Bay. Diddy, place your bet.  
  
Diddy: I want those flags back. Put a four on this race, Frost. (handed Frost the flags) It's time to roll.  
  
Mario: (handing four flags to Frost) Waluigi, this one's yours.  
  
Waluigi: (evil laugh) With pain and pleasure.  
  
Banjo: Okay, I guess it's my turn. Are ya' ready, Kazooie?  
  
Kazooie: Is it possible for me to get a life jacket?  
  
Banjo: You big chicken, let's go.  
[Banjo and Waluigi lined up at the dock.] Frost: You'll launch off from the dock and begin the race. I want it nice and clean, four good laps. Shake hands and get ready to race. (the two rivals shake hands, Waluigi giving a smirk) Three... two... one... GO!  
(Both racers shoot off the dock. Now playing, "Chill Factor.")  
  
Mario: Good luck.  
  
As the racers went off, Banjo had an early lead into turn one.  
  
Pipsy: Can you give us a brief description of the track, Mr. Frost?  
  
Frost: "Mr. Frost." I like that. Anyway, after shooting off from the dock, it's a long way into the water and into a hard right turn. Then it's a nice left u-turn followed up by a bit of land going. The third turn is onto the ice and a tad bit slippery. Turn four leads back into the bay's waters and is a medium right. Turns five and six are a right s-turn and after the final turn, goes across the line. (Both racers cross the line finishing the first lap) Errp, (!^_^) well each lap is short since this is a small bay. Heh, heh, heh.  
  
Not too far away, a certain pair of eyes was watching them.  
  
Darkside: Well, it seems like This cool blue dino put a bit of thought into his track. Since people still use this bay, this course gets saved... You are a lucky Yoshi, Frost.  
  
In the bay, things are starting to get a bit woozy for a certain passenger.  
  
Kazooie: Take it easy Banjo, I won't be able to take this much longer.  
  
Banjo: Stop complaining, you never did this before.  
  
Kazooie: Ooh, I'm gonna be sick.  
  
Banjo: Don't puke in my (disgusting sound) backpack.  
  
Kazooie: Ooh I feel so much better now, but I'm all sticky. Sorry about the mess.  
  
Banjo: You're cleaning that out after the race.  
  
Kazooie: Why should I have to clean it out?  
  
Banjo: Because you messed it up.  
  
Kazooie: I'm not cleaning up this mess.  
  
Banjo: Yes you are.  
  
Kazooie: No I'm not.  
  
Banjo: Yes you are.  
  
Kazooie: No I'm not.  
  
Banjo: Fine. But since you're messy (takes off backpack), go take a bath.  
(Banjo hooks the pack onto the side of his hovercraft and it hangs into the cold waters of the bay. Kazooie wails from the frigid waters)  
  
Banjo: And now, back to the race.  
Banjo soon caught up with Waluigi and this race was now good. Even Darkside was impressed at the length of the race, even though she isn't a racing fan.  
  
Darkside: I better go. This seems ennui, plus I have other things to do.  
  
Shadow: Is your simple-minded heart still despising racing, you really need to move on?  
  
Darkside: Uh huh, move on. Good-bye, Shadow. (departs)  
  
Shadow: I never could understand that woman, maybe it's for my own good that I don't.  
  
Meanwhile, Yoshi Breeze stood at the top of the second tower of his course.  
  
Breeze: Ah, the wind in your face is great to feel. Stealth told me about the "threat" to our courses and I don't really care. Let her try do destroy this track, I would love to see her try.  
  
Darkside: In that case handsome, proposal accepted.  
(In a flash, the Towers of the Wind crumbled. All that was left were the two tornados and Breeze standing in the air)  
  
Breeze: So you're Darkside I see? Well, you did it, you destroyed my track. However, you test patience and it shall pass.  
In the same instant that it was destroyed, the Towers of the Wind were created again... And destroyed again... and made again.  
  
Breeze: You know what? I like you, I like you a lot. I like Shadow too, are you his girlfriend, or his sister?  
  
Darkside: I have no interests in men.  
  
Breeze: A lesbo huh? I see nothing wrong with that, my girlfriend's brother is gay.  
  
Darkside: You are testing my patience Yoshi and you don't want to do that. So just let me finish this job and I'll be on my way.  
(Darkside decided to take out the tornados by blowing a reverse wind into them and it worked. The winds died down and the towers crumbled and when the towers came down, so did Breeze)  
  
Darkside: It took a while, but I did it. Now I must go and destroy the other courses, see you later Yoshi. (departs)  
  
Meanwhile at Speed Way, Yoshi Thunder sits in the booths.  
  
Thunder: Ah, the things I do in this life. I'm the IWF Ligtnin' Champion, I made a lightning-fast course and I enjoy the best life I ever have.  
(Suddenly, Darkside showed up before him)  
  
Darkside: Yoshi Thunder, I presume?  
  
Thunder: You're the one that wants to destroy our tracks, aren't you? Well, you better think twice before you take out Speed Way here.  
  
Darkside: A reason to spare this track Yoshi, I see none at all. I have only spared one track and that is the one that Yoshi Frost made.  
  
Thunder: Of course not, you can't take out a harbor that many people use to this very day.  
  
Darkside: I'm starting to be ennui now, say good-bye to this track.  
  
(Darkside head to the track and is ready to destroy it, but Thunder steps in front of her)  
  
Darkside: So you're going to try and stop me? How futile.  
  
Thunder: Before you demolish this track, you might want to look over the side. Darkside: (looking down) It's a huge building, so what about it?  
  
Thunder: Idiot! That building is the island's power plant. And it runs on a generator which conducts all of the power for the whole island. Now there were two of them, but the first one exploded and caused a major power outage all over the island. This track runs on the other generator and to destroy the other generator is the only way you will destroy this track. And what happens if the generator goes? There is no power on the entire island. So the question is this, "Does a whole island have to suffer for a fool's pattern of justice?" And even if you just take out the track, where is it going to come crashing down onto? The power plant below, take the hundreds of lives that work in it. And seeing as I'm the witness to this track, it will be traced back to you. It's time for you to leave Darkside, so let me show you out.  
  
Darkside: No thanks, I'll see myself out. I enjoy the benefits of electricity to this track gets to be spared, even though I don't want it to be. Good day, Yoshi.  
  
Thunder: Before you leave, I have one quick question. Are you sure Shadow didn't get into those drawz of yours? (snickers)  
  
Darkside: Typical male... Always thinking about sex.  
  
Meanwhile, the race is over at Blizzard Bay and MKR racer Waluigi takes four flags to that side.  
  
Waluigi: You know what, you need to get that bird under control. She cost you the race at the last legs.  
  
Banjo: Tell me about it.  
  
Diddy: Well, at least it wasn't you fault Banjo.  
  
Banjo: Thanks.  
  
Diddy: We owe this loss to Kazooie.  
  
Kazooie: Yeah, yeah, blame it on the bird.  
  
Timber: We are.  
  
Mario: That's what happens when you have a back seat, driver.  
(Team MKR laughs it up)  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-4 MKR-12  
to be continued..... 


	14. the last ride

RACE WARS  
THE LAST RIDE  
  
It was a frustrating morning on Yoster's Island thanks to the destruction of many tracks.  
  
Umbra: You know, that Darkside really ticks me off.  
  
Breeze: She destroyed your track too, Umbra?  
  
Umbra: Yeah, she totaled it.  
  
Screech: At least it didn't interrupt your date. I lost a good slice of poontang for that... I want my slice of poontang back!  
  
Blaze: You should've done your homework when making your tracks, fellas. Like Frost, Thunder, Power and myself, we did our homework and ours were spared.  
  
Quake: Women, I still say Shadow screwed her the wrong way.  
  
Darkside: You stupid Yoshi. What part of me not having interests in men or women don't you get?  
  
Quake: Not a damn one.  
  
Blaze: Okay Darkside, I can understand you not liking women, you're straight as Robin Hood's quiver of arrows. But why you don't like men... You probably got raped when you were younger, or somethin' like that.  
  
(Darkside turned away and left as the other Y Team members watched her go. After she left, they all looked at Blaze)  
  
Umbra: Did you have to be so cold?  
  
Blaze: I wasn't cold, bro. I asked that to many girls on the dates that I had and they answered me freely without insult... except one girl. She broke into tears because I was right. I don't know women, but Darkside probably went to cry... not because I was cold, no. It was because I was right. (silence was in the room and everyone looked at Blaze) Okay, I'll go find her and say I'm sorry.  
With that said, Yoshi Blaze went off in search of Darkside.  
  
MKR  
  
Peach: Got any threes, Daisy?  
  
Daisy: Go fish. (Peach takes a card) Fuchsia, have any queens? (Fuchsia hands Daisy her queen) Baby, have any fours?  
  
Baby Mario: Go fish. (Daisy takes a card) Do you have a two, Toad?  
  
Toad: Go fish.  
  
Baby Mario: (takes his card) Yay, I got my twos!  
  
Toad: (-_-) Lovely. Daisy, cough up the queens.  
  
Daisy: I can't believe you had the last one. Drat! (Gives queens to Toad)  
  
Toad: Thank you. Honey, do you have any aces?  
  
Fuchsia: Take a card, honey.  
  
Toad: (takes his card) Ah, the aces are a must.  
  
Birdo: Do you have any sixes, Baby?  
  
Baby Mario: Are you talking to me, or Yoshi?  
  
Birdo: Yoshi, of course.  
  
Yoshi: I would like to do one thing without having to yell at you with company around. Don't call me baby, Birdo!  
  
Birdo: Do you have any sixes, or not?  
  
Yoshi: No, go fish.  
  
Fuchsia: Yoshi, have any deuces?  
  
Yoshi: Go fish.  
  
Fuchsia: So are you two enjoying life living together?  
  
Yoshi: You act like I have a choice.  
  
Peach: I didn't tell you to move her into your house.  
  
Yoshi: Get used to her, marry her, get along with her. When this happens, you move the girl in with you, it's tradition!  
  
Peach: Yoshi, it's the twenty-first century, not the days of King Arthur and the round table. It doesn't matter who moves in with who, but it matters on how people fare and evolve.  
  
Yoshi: Kind of like how princesses should evolve into queens, huh?  
  
Peach: ..... That's (!-_-) not what I meant.  
  
Yoshi: I think the princess of the house of Toadstool has queen phobia.  
  
Peach: Kind of like how you have Birdophobia?  
  
Yoshi: At least I'm living with her.  
  
Toad: Okay, okay, let's change the subject. How's the sex going?  
  
Yoshi: She's bad in bed. {here it comes.}  
  
Birdo: Oh it's me, huh? How come you're never in the mood?  
  
Baby Mario: Gee Fuchsia, wasn't that how your sex life was with Toad?  
  
Fuchsia: (*-_-) You need a spanking. Besides, my sex life is booming. But my sex life isn't the issue here, it Yoshi's.  
  
Yoshi: Daisy, you tell me if this is bad.  
  
Daisy: Go ahead.  
  
Yoshi: I screw her by my own will once, and she's out of it in thirty seconds.  
  
Baby Mario: Some virgin, huh?  
  
Yoshi: Birdo ain't no virgin. She screwed me while I was sleep.  
  
Birdo: I better do that again, it's the only way I'll be able to get any.  
  
Yoshi: (\_/) I will whoop your ass!!  
  
Peach: No you won't.  
  
Yoshi: You're right, Peach. I'll tie her up and torture her with the totem stick I have.  
  
All but Yoshi: Yeesh! Don't remind me, Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi: Good. Now that the talk about sex life is over, it's your turn now, Fuchsia.  
  
DKR  
  
(Diddy races around the island in his kart)  
  
Diddy: What is up with those Yoshi Team members? And what is up with that Darkside character? I just don't get her.  
  
Shadow: You aren't the only one that doesn't get her, Diddy. I've been allies with her for years and I still don't get her. It took me just one year to gain her trust.  
  
Diddy: So she's difficult?  
  
Shadow: No, just hard as stone and old-fashion. She has her reasons to be this way, but she's never told me them. I guess some wounds should stay closed.  
  
Diddy: But some wounds need to be opened up before they can be healed.  
  
Shadow: You think I haven't told her that? I have, but she won't listen to anyone including myself. Something is clouding her past and she chooses not to reveal it, so I decided not to talk about it and respect her about it.  
  
Diddy: Hmmm, I guess some things are left unmentioned.  
  
*  
  
In the peaceful sounds of the jungle, Donkey Kong relaxes at home with company.  
  
Taj: I hope the Race Wars is going well.  
  
DK: You said it, it's too bad that we have no control over it though.  
  
Tiny: Donkey Kong, look did your son did to me!  
(DK and Taj went into the living room to see Tiny Kong in tears. Her arms were over her chest and her hair was full of a sticky substance)  
  
Taj: What happened to you, Tiny Kong?  
  
Tiny: Three words, Donkey Kong Junior. Look what he did to me this time.  
  
DK: You look like a mashed split.  
  
Taj: What is this stuff in your hair?  
  
DK: It smells like honey. Well, I don't see what's wrong with your pants.  
  
Taj: Er, maybe you should look at Tiny's back.  
(DK walked to Tiny's back and saw that the back of her pants were gone, revealing Tiny's orange jungle panties) {I like panties like that. Whatever, jungle woman.}  
  
DK: Oh, wow. That's kinda' foul.  
  
Tiny: I'm going home Donkey Kong, but talk to your son.  
  
DK Jr.: There you are Tiny. Ooh, jungle orange huh? Nice panties, Tiny. I always knew you had such good taste.  
  
Tiny: You're the biggest pain I've had in my life. What did I do to have you torture me like this?  
  
DK Jr.: Nothing. But I told you enough times that I like you.  
  
Tiny: What do I have to do to get you leave me alone?  
  
DK Jr.: To be honest with you, just satisfy me.  
  
Tiny: Satisfy you, what do you mean by that?  
  
DK Jr.: Let me explain, Tiny. The one thing in the world that satisfies me the most is luring you into a trap that I've concocted. Picking on you makes me feel good, but if you want me to leave you alone, just give me a picture of you-  
  
Tiny: That's it? All of this because you wanted a picture of me?  
  
DK Jr.: Tiny, you didn't let me finish. Just give me a picture of you in your bra and panties. I like you in the banana yellow ones a lot, makes me want a chocolate covered banana every time I see it.  
  
Tiny: Ooh you little pervert!  
  
DK Jr.: Hey, I told you how to get me out of your hair for a while Tiny and that will do it. But if you don't want to...  
  
DK: Son, this is no way to treat your cousin's girlfriend's sister. Apologize to Tiny this instant.  
  
DK Jr.: I'm really sorry, Tiny.  
  
Tiny: You really are?  
  
DK Jr.: Yup. I'm sorry that I didn't take the front side of your pants either.  
  
DK: Junior!?  
(Tiny ran home crying)  
  
DK: You really disappoint me, son.  
  
DK Jr.: Like you didn't do this to Mom.  
  
DK: I played tricks on her, but I never did what you did to Tiny to your mother. You're grounded mister, now go to your room.  
  
MKR  
  
It took a while, but Yoshi Blaze eventually caught up with Darkside.  
  
Darkside: What do you want?  
  
Blaze: Answers Darkside, just answers. Now what's up with you and the opposite sex?  
  
Darkside: I don't want to talk about it.  
  
Blaze: So you were raped? It shows by your actions Darkside, don't be so emotional about it.  
  
Darkside: I said i don't want to talk about it.  
  
Blaze: If you wish, Darkside. Anyway, I'm sorry if I offended you in any way.  
  
Darkside: Don't be sorry for me, you just didn't know.  
  
Blaze: Well I'm going to leave now, (runs away) but just keep in mind that some things can only be talked off of your chest. Later, Darkside.  
(Darkside watched Blaze run off and soon went the other way)  
  
Darkside: Maybe there's a little compassion in them after all...  
Not too far away, a not so attached couple has a chat.  
  
Birdo: Yoshi, I want to know.  
  
Yoshi: About what?  
  
Birdo: Why did you... do me that one night?  
  
Yoshi: ... I had to.  
  
Birdo: So Peach made you, huh?  
  
Yoshi: No... I just had to. I'm still not sure why, but it had to be done.  
  
Birdo: Be honest with me Yoshi, do you still want me to live with you... even though I've done you wrong as of late?  
  
Yoshi: I don't have much of a choice.  
  
Birdo: And if you did?  
  
Yoshi: ........  
  
Birdo: So you do want me around you?  
  
Yoshi: Let's just say I've gotten used to you. Have you ever had a pain you couldn't live without?  
  
Birdo: I still do.  
  
Yoshi: Well, that's what you are to me.  
  
Birdo: (^_^) I'll take that as a compliment.  
  
Yoshi: Don't.  
  
Birdo: Why?  
  
Yoshi: Just don't.  
  
Birdo: So, how can I please you in bed?  
  
Yoshi: Come again?  
  
Birdo: Another orgasm? I'll try.  
  
Yoshi: Sick girl. That's not what I meant.  
  
Birdo: Well, tell me Yoshi. I want to be a good bed partner to you.  
  
Yoshi: Don't expect to have sex.  
  
Birdo: So I take it that Kootie Pie was a better bed partner to you than I was? {Oops.}  
  
Yoshi: Where did you get that idea?  
  
Birdo: You really did have feelings for that Koopaling, didn't you?  
  
Yoshi: She's not a Koopaling anymore and that went into manipulating her "size".  
  
Birdo: So that's all you liked about her?  
  
Yoshi: Birdo, I may be cold-blooded, but I like breasts like any other male. I'm not too parsh about crossbreeding either.  
  
Birdo: So I--Wait, better not mention that.  
  
Yoshi: Hmf.  
(a brief period of silence)  
  
Birdo: ..........  
  
Yoshi: Don't be so demanding.  
  
Birdo: Over what?  
  
Yoshi: You said you wanted to be a good bed partner to me, so don't be so demanding.  
  
Birdo: Will you ever um... do me again?  
  
Yoshi: Maybe. Only time will tell, Birdo.  
  
Birdo: Is that a "Yes?"  
  
Yoshi: It's neither a yay, nor a nay. Only time will tell.  
  
Birdo: Did you even like it when you did me?  
  
Yoshi: You got KOed after thirty seconds, what was there to like? It takes about a minute to even start having sex, let alone liking it. {How true.}  
  
Birdo: Am I even attractive to you?  
  
Yoshi: I can't answer that question.  
  
Birdo: Why not?  
  
Yoshi: Because it's a trick question. Either way I answer it, you'll take it the wrong way... Hence, I can't answer that question.  
  
Birdo: Do I have to get boobs to catch your attention?  
  
Yoshi: Did she say "Boobs?" Stand up straight and tall. (Birdo complies) Two things. First of all, the word "Boobs" is eighteenth century. Update your torso slang, and second... You wouldn't look right with knockers on your chest.  
  
Birdo: And you would?  
  
Yoshi: Don't get funny.  
  
Birdo: There's still a lot of this I want to talk to you about.  
  
Yoshi: Maybe later, Birdo. But for now, let's get something to eat.  
[scene; Peach's bedroom]  
  
{Janne, what time did this episode run? 12:30, why? That would explain this scene. She's faking it.} [Luigi lays down on the bed while Peach takes a sip from the head of the straw.]  
  
Luigi: You can sure say a mouthful when I'm tied up in these ropes like a chicken, but when I rope ya', talk is cheap. No more bondage or S&M for this princess. {I smell a lawsuit. You mean another one? I wonder what Nintendo has to say about this....}  
  
Peach: Can I stop now?  
  
Luigi: Aw, and you were doing so well... Okay, I'm not a mean boyfriend, you can stop. But you have to give Daisy back her whip first thing in the morning.  
  
Peach: But Luigi...  
  
Luigi: Maybe I'll keep you like this until I-  
  
Peach: Okay, okay, first thing in the morning.  
  
Luigi: Good--Hey, uncross your fingers. (Peach did so) And you toes. (Peach did so) And your legs.  
  
Peach: Luigi Mario?  
  
Luigi: Okay, you can get up now.  
  
Peach: You have to untie me.  
  
Luigi: I do, you really cant move if I don't?  
  
Peach: Yes you have to untie me.  
  
Luigi: Okay, I'm going. {Why wasn't this scene cut? They said it would be exciting. This isn't exciting, it's perverted! No it's not.}  
  
(Luigi pulls out of Peach, covers his shame and goes to untie his bondaged girlfriend)  
  
Peach: No more ropes for me, Luigi puts them on too tight. Oh, I can't have rope burns... Look what you did to me!  
  
Luigi: Just a couple of rope burns, I can fix that.  
  
Peach: Where's that whip at? {Oops!}  
  
Luigi: Hey, I can still tie you back up.  
  
Peach: Here it is. (cracks whip) Now it's payback time.  
(Suddenly, the phone rings and Luigi sighs in relief as the princess goes to answer the phone)  
  
Luigi: Saved by the bell. I better get outta' here before she's done talking. {Run boy, run.}  
  
Peach: Hello?  
  
Mario: Hey, Power wants to talk to us at the island. I'll meet you there... and tell Luigi to find my cologne that I let him use.  
  
Peach: You mean the Old Spice in the white bottle?  
  
Mario: Yeah, that's it.  
  
Peach: He told me that was his.  
  
Mario: That's not his, Luigi's is in the red bottle! Just tell him and I'll meet you two at the island.  
  
Peach: Gotcha' Mario, see you later. (hangs up phone) Luigi, come on that was Mario, he said that--Hey, where'd he go. (*\_/) Lu-i-gi!!! {Oops, I did it again. No Brittany Spheres please.}  
  
YI  
  
Both teams met up on Yoster's Island to talk with Yoshi Power.  
  
Power: Okay people, there are a lot of things that have happened since you started racing here on the island. Mainly, Darkside destroying the courses. Shadow probably tagged her guts the wrong way-  
  
Shadow: Me, bash her guts? I wish, Power. I may have seen Darkside naked, and she has a body, but I never hit those. I wanted to and still do, but until she's willing... no dice.  
  
Power: Oh. Well anyway, The sore of Race Wars is-  
  
Timber: Get to the point already.  
  
Power: (\_/) Shut the up, alright? {they finally blurred something out.} Now where was I before I was so-  
  
Shadow: The score.  
  
Power: Thanks, but don't interrupt. DKR: 4, MKR: 12. Now unlike everything else that has gone around here, I call the shots on this track. Now I've seen the whole contest and I've made my decision. Toad, TT, step forward. (both racers did so) You two will be racing on this course. Four flags are at stake here, so you better put your souls into this race.  
  
Darion: Why are they racing?  
  
Power: Because they were the ones to get the first flags for their sides. Now listen carefully, this is the last chance for your team to stay alive, TT.  
  
TT: I know, I know.  
  
Power: Toad, this is your chance to win it for your team. If you lose these four flags, don't fret. The game will be tied at eight and things will have to go into a shootout. (turns to the course) Welcome to Power Raceway. A little advice... This course is jam-packed with ninety degree turns, some are u-turns, some are s-turns and the rest are just turns. You will hit walls, so make sure you use the brakes. To the line, boys!  
  
[Toad and TT lined up and reved up in their karts.] The race was about to begin and it seems like it's going to be it for the DKR racers. There was nothing but pressure on the stopwatch's gears, even he knew it.  
  
TT: Looks like this is a must win situation for me. And if I don't the wars are over. Well, it's not over yet.  
  
Power: Okay people, one more time. Get ready... get set... GO!  
(Both racers zoomed off. Now playing, "Power Hour") Meanwhile at home, our dino couple is starting to repatch things up. Let's just hope it works this time.  
  
Birdo: Yoshi, shouldn't you be at the island with the other racers?  
  
Yoshi: I can still leave you know, Birdo. (Throws Birdo on the bed)  
  
Birdo: OW, my tail. A bit softer please?  
  
Yoshi: Whatever, now on lay back.  
  
Birdo: (lays back) Okay, but you could at least tell me what's going... on? Are you on top of me for a reason?  
  
Yoshi: Of course I am.  
  
Birdo: (^_^) I'm getting layed tonight.  
  
Yoshi: Not exactly, think of this as practice.  
  
Birdo: Yoshi we're talking about sex, what is there to practice? {What a ditz!}  
  
Yoshi: Performance for one thing, pacing for another and position for the last. These are the three Ps of sex.  
  
Birdo: And the Qs are...  
  
Yoshi: (laughs) I like that one Birdo. Now let's get down to business, now place your arms around me. (Birdo wraps her arms around Yoshi's ribs) That's a start, but go a little lower. (birdo wraps her arms around Yoshi's waist) That's a little too low.  
  
Birdo: Forget about beginning holding, Yoshi. Here's where I put my arms around you. (wraps arms over Yoshi's shoulders)  
  
Yoshi: At least we're getting somewhere. Now let's place your legs.  
  
Birdo: Okay, I'll try. (wraps legs around Yoshi's hips) It's this right?  
  
Yoshi: As Urtha Kitt would say, "Puuur-fect." Now angle yourself, Birdo.  
  
Birdo: How?  
  
Yoshi: Forty-five, no. One-thirty degrees. (Birdo angles herself) Good, now let's practice.  
  
On lap two, Toad and TT were neck and neck.  
  
Toad: This isn't going to last forever, TT. Admit it, you lost this race and the Race Wars for your team. The victory belongs to us, Team MKR.  
  
TT: Nice try, but my victory here is just the beginning to the DKR destruction crew. First I'll tie the match and we'll takeover and win these wars, Toad. You ain't got nothin' on us, let alone me.  
[Off the turn they went, crashing into the wall on the way around.]  
  
Toad: Note to self, "Hit Power after race."  
  
TT: I'll help you.  
(both racers crashed into the next turn)  
  
Toad & TT: Damn ninety degree turns!  
[back in Yoshi's bedroom...]  
  
Yoshi: You know Birdo, that wasn't that bad.  
  
Birdo: What are you talking about, we didn't have sex yet.  
  
Yoshi: Of course not, it was practice. Now, on your belly.  
  
Birdo: Okay. (rolls over) How's this?  
  
Yoshi: Good, now spread your legs and lift up your tail.  
  
Birdo: Do I have to lift it up?  
  
Yoshi: Are you going to put it another way... Okay, that works.  
  
Birdo: Now what do you want me to do?  
  
Yoshi: Lift your ass up.  
  
Birdo: Doesn't that mean that I would have to stand?  
  
Yoshi: Birdo, lift your ass up.  
  
Birdo: But I don't want to stand up, I'm comfy like this.  
  
Yoshi: That's great Birdo, now lift up your ass. {I get it, what about you?}  
  
Birdo: But I don't want to move my body.  
  
Yoshi: Not your body, just your ass.  
  
Birdo: OH! (lifts ass up) Now why couldn't you say that in the first place?  
  
Yoshi: (slaps forehead) Birdo, you're a ditz when it comes to sex. {Didn't I just say that?} Let's just move on. Now I'm going to mount you and we can practice once I'm there. (mounts Birdo)  
  
Birdo: I'm not comfy anymore, you're on my spleen Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi: Do you ever get tired of being a crybaby?  
  
Birdo: Get off my spleen. (Yoshi shifts) Ah, I feel a little better now.  
  
Yoshi: (d_b) Are you comfy now?  
  
Birdo: Uh huh.  
  
Yoshi: Good. Now can we practice?  
  
Birdo: How many ways are we going to practice, and how many are we going to use?  
  
Yoshi: All shall be practiced and we will see what will be used.  
  
Birdo: Hold on, let me brace myself really quick.  
  
Yoshi: This is practice!  
  
Birdo: Bracing is a part of "Pacing", Yoshi.  
  
Yoshi: Fine, but make it quick.  
  
Back on the track, TT has taken the lead.  
  
Toad: Hey, get your ass back here!  
  
TT: Come and get me.  
  
Toad: (\_/) Watch me. There's still a lot of race to go, I can still make it. This isn't over yet, stopwatch.  
  
TT: Ah, the line is in sight. One more lap left and I'm winning, where's your "Mushroom Justice" now?  
  
Shadow: You'll see it my friend, just you wait.  
  
TT: You can't taunt me by reading my thoughts like you could before Shadow, why do you keep tormenting me?  
  
Shadow: Say what you will, but don't think you'll get far.  
  
TT: You know what Shadow, suck it!  
(The race goes on)  
*  
  
[Yoshi's bedroom. Both dinos are practicing as said and Birdo is actually laughing]  
  
Yoshi: You're having fun now, huh?  
  
Birdo: (laughing) You're tickling me.  
  
Yoshi: It tickles huh, it tickles?  
  
Birdo: (laughing) Yes!  
  
Yoshi: At least you're having fun.  
  
Birdo: Please stop, this is... (laughing) this is torture. You're torturing me!  
  
Yoshi: I haven't begun to torture you yet, Birdo.  
  
Birdo: Yes you have.  
  
Yoshi: If this is torture, she really won't be able to take the real thing. I hope the race is going well on the island...  
  
The race was just about over and Toad had a very good lead. He had a very good fortune on his final lap, not crashing once. But Toad soon realizes that all good things come to an end. Toad was just about to win the race, when... (Toad's kart comes to a complete stop five hundred yards from the finish line. {What the hell happened?})  
  
Toad: Aw man, tell me this didn't happen. This didn't happen... (looking at fuel gauge) it happened. I ran out of gas. WAHHHHHH! {Now doesn't that suck like a vacuum?}  
  
Mario: (!U_U) I can't believe he ran out of gas.  
  
Timber: (!-_-) That blows.  
  
Bowser: No Timber, that is up!  
  
Peach: I can't believe that Toad actually ran out of gas. (!-_-) We were so close to winning this and now look what happened?  
  
Shadow: Toad, don't just sit there like a pile of fresh shit, push your kart over the line.  
  
Toad: Got it. (Toad gets behind he kart and starts pushing it) I hope this works...  
  
Toad's inspiration form Shadow actually worked, but it seemed like it failed since Toad's rival passed him by. (TT's kart was starting to slow down)  
  
TT: Damn gas, I filled up my tank before I left. That's what I get for buying cheap gas. Techron my ass!  
  
Both racers had run out of gas, but TT's kart came to a complete stop after his bumper hit the line.  
  
TT: (^_^) Lucky me, I win!  
  
Shadow & Toad: Lucky is right you little !  
  
Mario: What a gip, we had it won.  
  
Luigi: How do you think Toad felt?  
  
Fuchsia: Oh well, it happens to all of us.  
  
Pipsy: Not me.  
  
Fuchsia: It's coming, don't worry.  
  
Pipsy: Don't jinks me.  
  
Power: Well folks, this is tied once again. Come on folks, it's time to go.  
(Everyone left the track, Power holding Toad's and TT's karts over his shoulders. All, the bystanders and racers cleared the track and Power lowered the karts)  
  
Power: Well, at least everyone is safe.  
  
(Suddenly, a big explosion is heard and everyone ducks for cover)  
  
Mario: Is everyone okay?  
  
Diddy: We're all present and counted for. Hey, where's Power?  
  
Power: My track! Look at it, my track's in flames.  
  
Darkside: I don't appreciate being lied to, Yoshi. Those who lie shall be cast stray by The One's judgment. I am the one... and my judgment is destruction.  
  
Breeze: Okay you, this has gone far enough. You've destroyed many a track and this goes on no further... YOU WILL BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS!  
  
Darkside: Well, well, well, the gang's all here? (the other Yoshis whose track were obliterated by Darkside stood tall and Power joined them) Pretty.  
  
Umbra: It's time for a little restitution from you Darkside, and it's not going to be pretty.  
  
Stealth: You're going down, Darkside.  
  
Screech: I don't mind a little intrusion, but what you did to me was far beyond the reaches of reason.  
  
Darkside: Really? And what are you going to do about this, hmmm? What are you going to try and do to me?  
  
Power: (\_/) We're going to kick your ass!  
  
Darkside: I do not think so.  
  
Breeze: Just watch us!  
  
Yoshi: Shadow, is it possible for them to actually beat Darkside?  
  
Shadow: No one can beat one who is Lost, but to weaken one of the Lost is possible. However, they cannot weaken her.  
  
Yoshi: Can you?  
  
Shadow: NO.  
  
Toad: I can... but this isn't my battle, it's theirs. Yoshi, your brethren will learn the hard way about dealing with Darkside. Power may be strong, but his strength is that of a mere ant when it comes to Darkside. AND SO, THE SHOWDOWN BEGINS...  
  
RACE WARS TALLY  
  
DKR-8 MKR-8  
end of first part.....  
  
Luigi: Hello everyone, I'm Luigi Mario. Due to the last episode and the rain of complain mail, I am here to issue this warning: If there are any peoples young and old who can't stand the explicit material being showed, turn the channel now. If you're watching and someway along the show you say to yourself, "I can't watch this no more.", then watch something like um... say, The Powerpuff Girls. If you can watch it, watch it. If not, watch Cartoon Network... Well, enjoy the show... if possible.  
  
(Darkside stands alone against Power, Stealth, Umbra, Breeze and Screech)  
  
Fuchsia: Tell me this isn't how it looks?  
  
Shadow: How do you think it looks?  
  
Fuchsia: It looks like a five on one battle.  
  
Toad: That's actually what it looks like.  
  
Darkside: So all of you wish to do battle with me, huh?  
  
Breeze: Yes, we want to kick your ass.  
  
Darkside: As you wish, but I warn you... my powers aren't to be taken lightly.  
  
Stealth & Umbra: Whatever.  
  
Darkside: Cute. Now, which of you is up first?  
  
Stealth: I'll go first.  
(Stealth steps up to Darkside)  
  
Darkside: The first half of the IWF Tag Team Champs huh, well this isn't wrestling match, but pure combat.  
  
Stealth: I've been in combat before, this shouldn't be too hard.  
  
Darkside: You have no clue. Right.  
  
Stealth: Here we go lady.  
(Stealth charges towards Darkside and gets blasted)  
  
Yoshis: Stealth!  
  
Fuchsia: That's gonna' leave a mark.  
  
Stealth: (x_x) Ow.  
  
Darkside: Who's next?  
  
Umbra: I'll deal with this.  
  
Darkside: Good, the other half. I hope you're more of a challenge than Stealth was.  
  
Umbra: Okay, let's try this again. I hope I can make a good fight out of this for you.  
  
Darkside: So do I, Yoshi. Let's go.  
  
Umbra: No, you come to me.  
  
Darkside: (disappears) As you wish.  
[It shows a side scene of Umbra guarding and suddenly four slashes on a black screen, each in a direction of a compass and behind the black dino reappeared Darkside. The star of slashes appeared and Umbra dropped to the ground.]  
  
Fuchsia: (O_O) Someone tell me what just happened?  
  
Shadow: The Nightstar Slash. This is rather nasty Fuchsia, since everyone, including myself, who have taken this blow can only drop to the ground. You're in so much pain that you can only drop and pass out.  
  
Frost: Hey guys, be careful of that move. It's a real bitch.  
  
Darkside: Don't interfere!  
  
(launching a beam at Frost and missing, the light blue dino gets a little agitated)  
  
Frost: Hey, knock it off.  
(Frost then threw his stars at Darkside. Hearing them, Darkside turned around and caught them, then they exploded. The explosion actually sent Darkside skyward with a painful expression in her eyes)  
  
Toad: What do ya' know? They actually fazed her.  
  
Shadow: Those stars actually packed a punch! This is the first time I've ever seen anything actually hurt her. (turns head to Frost) Maybe something can actually weaken her...  
  
Frost: Listen you crazy girl, I don't know what your problem is, but your beef is with them, not me. Focus yourself, woman!  
  
Fuchsia: Not to be nosy, but where did you come from?  
  
Toad: That's what I want to know.  
  
Frost: I saw Darkside coming this way, so I followed her. In addition to that, I took some ot Yoshi's stars.  
  
Toad: Those are Yoshi's stars?  
  
Fuchsia: Don't you mean were Yoshi's stars?  
  
Frost: Yes, but that's not the point. I've been watching this for some time now and I must say this, she would make a loving girlfriend for you Shadow... If she were interested in men that is.  
  
Darkside: More intrusion, great.  
  
Screech: Hey Darkside, I want to know something. Why are you destroying all of our tracks? We put a lot of heart into making those, why make worth nothing?  
  
Darkside: You should've thought about that before you tried to take over this competition. And you think I'm bad? Look at yourself, all of you!  
  
Screech: This makes no sense, none at all. You two can stay here if you want, but I'm out of here. Because no track is worth fighting for, you guys. (leaving) What a bunch of crap, I don't want any part of this. I'll just make my track again.  
  
[As Screech ran away, Darkside pursued him.]  
  
Darkside: Running scared are you? Don't chicken out, share the fate with your brothers!  
(Darkside struck Screech in his back, which made the brown dino wail in pain) What a wail. It was heard even by Yoshi at his house, who stopped practicing.  
  
Birdo: What are you doing?  
  
Yoshi: I'm going to the island.  
  
Birdo: But things were going so well...  
  
Yoshi: I know, but I have to go. I promise I'll make it up to you later, you can stay here or come along.  
  
Birdo: Fine gimme a couple of minutes.  
  
*  
  
Mario: That went well.  
  
Toad: Yeah, real well.  
  
Peach: You know Yoshi, where were you all of this time?  
  
Yoshi: Practicing.  
  
Fuchsia: Practicing what?  
  
Yoshi: the way to get rid of the problems that you and Toad once had.  
  
Fuchsia: Are you talking about bed, or cooking?  
  
Mario: Or cooking in bed?  
  
Yoshi: Cooking.  
  
Peach: And what were you cooking?  
  
Birdo: Poontang Pie. {lol!}  
  
All: Really?  
  
Birdo: Sure were, (pulling out the pie) want some?  
  
Toad: I do.  
  
Fuchsia: No, you don't.  
  
Toad: Yes I do.  
  
Fuchsia: I'll give you a slice later, but we have to figure out how we're going to break this tie.  
  
In the jungle, the two judges caught some unwanted monkey business going on.  
  
DK: I thought I told you to stop messing with her, son?  
  
DK Jr.: But Dad, you said I should kiss and make up with her.  
  
DK: Yes, kiss and make up, not kiss and make-out.  
  
Diddy: Hey uncle, what's going--(gasp) Junior?  
  
Dixie: Tiny, Mom said you were exempt from seeing him. Why are you still going it?  
  
Tiny: I want more from Junior.  
  
Kongs: Wasn't once enough?  
  
Tiny: No!  
  
Dixie: Get dressed, I'm taking you home and putting you in a cage, Tiny.  
  
Tiny: But sis?  
  
Dixie: No buts, get dressed.  
  
Tiny: Fine, but could you all leave?  
  
DK: You're in the middle of my living room.  
  
Tiny: Okay fine, I'll go. (heads to the back)  
  
Diddy: We should call Junior, Horny Kong. {lol, Horny Kong!}  
  
DK Jr.: Ah Diddy, you're just mad because I got some ass and you didn't.  
  
Diddy: This isn't about ass.  
  
DK Jr.: Right, like last night when you wished Dixie would lay you this weekend? {Oops!}  
  
Dixie: Diddy?!  
  
Diddy: Well, a guy can dream, can't he?  
  
DK Jr.: Does dreaming involve masturbation? Diddy: I don't know what you're talking about. DK Jr.: Of course you wouldn't, so I decided to tape this occasion after catching you in the act.  
(DK Jr. pulls out a tape recorder and plays the tape) Tape: Ah Dixie. Oh Dixie, let's go a little faster. Stop playing with me, you know this should be taken seriously. Oh god, I want this to last forever. I wonder how long this is going to take? I hope no one see me doing this, it's so degrading. God, let's go a little faster. Oh, how long does it take to come anyway? {Busted, lol! Oh it's greatness.} (DK Jr. stops the tape) Dixie: (*\_/)You damn dirty ape?! Diddy: Actually I'm a chimp, but I'm not-- Dixie: That was really bad. DK Jr.: Well Dixie it's like they say, "Misery loves company." (plays tape again) Tape: Deeper, deeper, go deeper Diddy. Ooh, a little further... there it is, now pick up a little speed now. Oh... I'm glad I'm out here in the middle of nowhere all alone by myself. What would my sister say If she saw me doing something like this... I wonder what she would say, or think. (DK Jr. stops tape again and Dixie is red in the face) Tiny: And you hound me for this? Some example you are, Dixie. DK Jr.: Yeah, especially with her butt up in the air like that. Made a guy like me horny, with all of your gushing and junk... you looked like a slut while masturbating. Dixie: The key here is abstinence. DK Jr.: Prevention is good, but explain this. (plays tape again) Tape: Diddy, punish me and punish me good. {ppppppt, lol!} I've been a bad, bad, girl. A very bad girl... punish me like I'm asking for a death wish. (DK Jr.: stops the tape) Diddy: Sadomasochism? And I'm the "Damn Dirty Ape" eh, Dixie? Dixie: No, no, no, that's not what I meant. Diddy: Would you clarify? DK Jr.: Yes, please do. Dixie: (!^_^) Well... Tiny, when you and Junior lost, er, took each others virginity, did it hurt? Tiny: At first, but only because he broke my hymen. After that it felt better, even though it felt like torture. Dixie: See, sex hurts. That's what I meant by punishing me. Diddy & DK Jr.: (folded arms) Yeah right. Dixie: Help me out here, DK. DK: I'm not getting involved. Diddy: You're really sick when it comes to sex, Dixie. Dixie: Diddy, this isn't about our love life, but Junior's sex life. Tiny: Well, you two set a bad example for us. Diddy & Dixie: You set your own bad example! DK: Kids, kids, let's get back on task now.  
  
Diddy: No, let's settle this now. We tried to set a good example about things. You two did it, not us! DK Jr.: So when does who I have sex with matter to you? Diddy: You screwed my girlfriend's sister, of course it matters to me. Dixie: How could you let my boyfriend's cousin screw you? Tiny: I just wanted him off of my back, but I realize now that I actually got turned on by it. Dixie: You have some strange turn-ons, Tiny. Tiny: At least I don't have a masochist mind like you do. DK Jr.: Face it Diddy, you're just mad that I make love better than you do. Diddy: You lousy little ! I can make love to Dixie better than you can to Tiny.  
(Both Kong sister looked at the feuding cousins{This is about to get juicy. Here we go. Where's that digital camera at?}) DK Jr.: Is that so? Diddy: Yeah! DK Jr.: Tiny come here please. Tiny: (Walks to Junior face to face) Yes Junior? DK Jr.: Be so kind as to turn around and bend over please? Tiny: Okay.  
[As Tiny's back faces Junior, she bends over and touches her toes. Junior the began to undo Tiny's pants.] Diddy & Dixie: What's going on here? DK Jr.: What's wrong Diddy, can't put your money where your mouth is? Diddy: You must be joking? DK Jr.: If you say so Diddy, but if you don't want to prove what you just said... Dixie: What are you trying to prove by all of this? Tiny: To think there's actually something that my fearless sister is afraid of... Dixie: Don't mix fear with stupidity, Tiny. Tiny: Dixie, This is with the boy that you love, don't be afraid. Unless... you want him to hurt you. DK Jr.: Stand up and lift your arms. Diddy: It's not like I don't want to, it's just that... that... I don't have any condoms. DK Jr.: Here, catch.  
  
(Junior, threw Diddy three latex rubbers) DK Jr.: Are there any more excuses? Dixie: I don't have a diaphragm. Tiny: I think I brought an extra one. Check my pants would you, Junior?  
(Junior searched the left pocket and found Tiny's red "pad" and gave it to her. In the left pocket, a plastic container and Junior pulled it out.) DK Jr.: Tiny, what's this thing? Tiny: That's my other diaphragm soaking in spermicide. And it's never been used. Now that there are no more intrusions... DK: Ahem, you forgot that we were here. DK Jr.: Candy called while you were out Dad, she said she wanted to see you right away. DK: Really? I don't believe that. DK Jr.: Go see her if you think I'm lying... DK: Fine, let's go Taj.  
(The judges left) Diddy: Dixie, look. If you feel cocky about doing this, then I- Dixie: (forefinger on Diddy's lips) Look. let's just get this over with, okay? Diddy: You're okay with this? Dixie: Not really, but it's something we've both have been waiting to do for a long time. Besides, I love you. Tiny: Hey "Juliet", bend over and get ready. Diddy: Are you sure about this? (Dixie nods) Okay, let's do it.  
  
MKR  
  
At the castle, Mario and the gang discussed the current problem.  
  
Peach: I don't get it, what is up with Darkside?  
  
Baby Mario: Yeah, she has a serious ego trip?  
  
Mario: I don't know, but I hope Shadow can talk some sense into her.  
  
Yoshi: I can't believe that she clobbered the Y Team without breaking a sweat. That was a lot of effort to do alone.  
  
Birdo: She's cool. But was it really worth it all?  
  
Baby Mario: Yeah. Screech had a good point, why fight over a track you can always rebuild? She's confusing and maybe a bit der-ringed.  
  
Luigi: That's deranged Baby Mario.  
  
Peach: Where's Toad at, he should've been here already?  
  
Yoshi: He's probably still at home Peach, but if you're worried why don't you just call him?  
  
Peach: That's a good idea.  
[Peach did that and the phone rings at Toad's house. Fuchsia picks up the phone with closed eyes.]  
  
Fuchsia: Hello.  
  
Peach: Hey Fuchsia.  
  
Fuchsia: Hi Peach, how are you?  
  
Peach: Good. Where's Toad?  
  
Fuchsia: He's here, but a little busy at the moment right now.  
  
Peach: Doing what?  
  
Fuchsia: You don't want to know. {I smell a joke.}  
  
Peach: Keep in mind that I'm your monarch Fuchsia, now let's try this again. Is Toad there?  
  
Fuchsia: Yes.  
  
Peach: Let me talk to him.  
  
Fuchsia: He's busy.  
  
Peach: Busy doing what?  
  
Fuchsia: You don't... want to know.  
  
Peach: ...Okay, let's approach this differently.  
  
Fuchsia: Okay.  
  
Peach: Is Toad there?  
  
Fuchsia: Yes.  
  
Peach: May I talk to Toad?  
  
Fuchsia: Not right now.  
  
Peach: Why not?  
  
Fuchsia: Because he's busy. {I told you.}  
  
Peach: Well, interrupt him.  
  
Fuchsia: (shaking her head) This can't be interrupted.  
  
Peach: Why not?  
  
Fuchsia: Because it will throw him off of his schedule.  
  
Peach: Can it wait 'til later?  
  
Fuchsia: No it can't.  
  
Peach: What is so important that it can't wait? Is he dressed?  
  
Fuchsia: Fully clothed.  
  
Peach: Then what's he doing?  
  
Fuchsia: You don't want to know. {Peach is now pissed. Tch, ya' think?}  
  
Peach: Let's try this one last time. Put Toad on the phone.  
  
Fuchsia: And for the last time, he's busy.  
  
Peach: Busy doing what? And tell me this time, I do want to know!  
  
Fuchsia: He's eating me out.  
(Silence.......)  
  
Fuchsia: Hello, are you still there?  
  
Peach: Yes I am.  
  
Fuchsia: I told you that you didn't want to know.  
  
Peach: Well, make him stop for a minute, I want to talk to him.  
  
Fuchsia: (*-_-) Listen, I don't bug Luigi while he eats your dick-pounded pussy, {LOLOL. Roasted!} why do you want to mess with Toad for?  
  
Peach: Now wait just one minute...  
  
Fuchsia: No you wait. This is a first for me, not to mention Toad and he's not leaving until he's done eating. (hangs up)  
  
[The whole thing is shown now. Fuchsia laying down on the bed with her legs open and over Toad's shoulders. Toad, head between Fuchsia's legs bobbing up and down while laying on his belly. {. He's eating all right.} Fuchsia's hands on Toad's head.]  
  
Toad: What did Peach want?  
  
Fuchsia: You of course, but you can't leave yet until you eat me. And you better eat me right!  
[Peach hangs the phone up on the other side and crosses her legs to the right.]  
  
Yoshi: You look like you caught someone on their mood swing.  
  
Luigi: What's up with Toad?  
  
Peach: (uppity) He's eating Fuchsia.  
  
Birdo: Lucky girl, I want to be eaten out.  
  
Yoshi: No way, you taste bad.  
  
Birdo: (\_/) I taste bad, you never ate me before?  
  
Yoshi: And I won't, you taste bad.  
[Back at his house, Toad's on top of Fuchsia, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.]  
  
Toad: I have to do that more often, it was good.  
  
Fuchsia: Yeah it felt nice.  
  
Toad: Well, I'm headed for the castle.  
  
Fuchsia: Kiss me before you go.  
  
Toad: Okay.  
  
Fuchsia: Wait, not my face.  
  
Toad: Where at?  
  
Fuchsia: My crotch.  
  
Toad: If I kiss you down there, I'll have to knock you up.  
  
Fuchsia: ...See you later, Toad.  
  
Toad: Bye.  
  
(Toad gets off of Fuchsia and leaves the room)  
  
Fuchsia: Give him an appetizer, he wants the whole meal. (rubs her leg) Ew, his saliva's on my inner thigh. Thanks a lot Toad, now I have to shower.  
Over at Donkey Kongs house...  
  
Diddy: Whoa, what a rush.  
  
DK Jr.: I can't believe we tied.  
  
Diddy: I can't believe this was a draw.  
  
Dixie: Tiny, what do you think?  
  
Tiny: I think I need a smoke.  
  
DK Jr.: Well, I have some more condoms. Now we can switch girls.  
  
Dixie: You're nasty Junior, real nasty. {Can't say it better.}  
  
Diddy: You can't have Dixie, so you might as well call it a draw.  
  
DK Jr.: Okay, it's a draw.  
  
Back at the castle, almost everyone was on someone's lap. Peach was in Luigi's lap, Daisy in Mario's lap, Baby Mario even had Carmine on his lap, though she was sleeping. Birdo was the only girl not on anyone's lap.  
  
Peach: Come on Yoshi, put Birdo on your lap.  
  
Yoshi: No way, she stays off of my lap.  
  
Peach: Is her sitting in your lap going to kill you at all in any physical way?  
  
Yoshi: ......No.  
  
Peach: Birdo, sit on Yoshi's lap.  
  
Yoshi: You better not.  
  
Birdo: Yoshi, me sitting on your lap is one of things that you have to get used to doing with me. It'll help us coexist better. (Yoshi turned his head) Oh come on Yoshi, just this once. If you don't want me to sit on your lap again, I won't.  
  
Yoshi: (quick breath) Fine, fine, come on. It will keep you out of my ass for a while.  
  
(As Birdo sat in Yoshi's lap, Toad walked in the door and observed this)  
  
Toad: And I forgot to bring my camera too, oh well.  
  
Peach: So how was your meal Toad?  
  
Toad: I liked it. I should do that more often to Fuchsia... if she wants me to do that again, that is.  
  
Peach: I see.  
  
Toad: Don't be mad at her, Peach. You just caught her off guard, that's all.  
  
Peach: (-_-) Yeah, Yoshi said she was having a mood swing.  
  
Toad: She probably was. Anyway, why did you call me here for?  
  
Mario: We have to discuss how we're going to end the racing wars.  
  
Peach: I'm open to suggestions, since I have no idea how we're going to do this.  
  
Birdo: "How" isn't the question, it's "Where" you will be racing.  
  
Luigi: Good point.  
  
Toad: It doesn't really matter to me now.  
  
Gang: Why not?  
  
Toad: Because racing in specific spots on either side will give that side an edge. Myself, I say we should take all of our eight flags and race for keeps.  
  
Mario: I like this so far, go on.  
  
Yoshi: Yeah.  
  
Toad: I say we risk our eight flags with theirs and have one last race, winner takes all.  
  
Peach: That's a great idea.  
  
Daisy: But where are you going to race at?  
  
Toad: Huh?  
  
Daisy: You said it yourself Toad, where are we going to find a course that both sides have no clue on what to do?  
  
Luigi: I'm not sure where, but I do know this. Mario should drive this final, and I do stretch the word, final race of Race Wars.  
[Scene, outside.]  
  
Toad: Then it's settled, we wager all of our flags and let Mario take us home.  
  
Darkside: Your wish just might come true Toad...  
  
DKR  
  
Diddy made it back as Shadow was sitting on the beach.  
  
Shadow: How does one end a race? A race so close that it must be decided, but can't be? I wonder... Maybe this book will be never ending. An ongoing book with no end, this confuses many a reader who read the book and many a writer who must finish the book.  
  
Diddy: What are you talking about?  
  
Shadow: So I see your back from your sex contest?  
  
Diddy: How'd you know I got laid?  
  
Shadow: Because I saw it. Now, how would like Race Wars to come to an end?  
  
Diddy: Simple. One last race to determine the winner, one last course to race, one last chance to give it all you got and ever had... One... last... ride.  
  
Shadow: This sounds promising. And how would you decide who would do this last ride?  
  
Diddy: No deciding, I would participate in the last ride of course.  
  
Shadow: Against Mario?  
  
Diddy: Hopefully... if he's up to it.  
  
Shadow: And where would you race?  
  
Diddy: I don't know.  
  
Timber: Diddy! Diddy! Diddy, there you are.  
  
Diddy: What's wrong man?  
  
Timber: Our flags, they've been... I mean they're.... well they aren't here.  
  
Diddy: WHAT!?!?!?!  
Timber and Diddy went to the place where the RW flags for the DKR side were placed and there was nothing there.  
  
Diddy: Man, there isn't even a trace.  
  
Shadow: When did this happen?  
  
Timber: Just recently.  
  
Shadow: ...........  
  
Timber: What's wrong?  
  
Shadow: She's here, and gone again.  
  
Diddy & Timber: Who?  
  
Shadow: Darkside.  
*  
  
Shadow went to find Darkside and succeeded, but she didn't have the flags with her.  
  
Shadow: Where are they, Darkside?  
  
Darkside: Where are what?  
  
Shadow: The RW flags won by the DKR racers?  
  
Darkside: Oh, those things. They're safe and sound, as are the MKR flags.  
  
Shadow: Is this some kind of joke?  
  
Darkside: Not at all. See ya.  
  
Meanwhile, things were starting to look bad for the DKR racers.  
  
Pipsy: How you guys seen her?  
  
Bumper: Not at all.  
  
TT: Same here. (sigh) Let's face it, they're gone.  
  
Diddy: Yeah, and to think that we worked hard for the-  
(Diddy had vanished before their eyes)  
  
Bumper: Can someone explain to me what happened?  
MKR  
  
Mario: Okay, I'm getting a bad taste in my mouth from all of this, so let's wrap it up. None of you found the flags? (everyone shook their heads) Hmm, I wonder where they went?  
  
Luigi: Yeah, it's not like they could've just vanished into thin air...  
(poof)  
  
Luigi: What was that?  
  
Peach: What was what?  
  
Luigi: That poofing sound?  
  
Toad: Teleportation.  
  
Shadow: (teleporting in) I have some news. Darkside has the flags, all sixteen of them?  
  
Peach: She took Diddy's flags too?  
  
Shadow: Yes and she has both captains as well. I couldn't pinpoint the location, but I've been banned from the area by Darkside.  
  
Daisy: Darkside's responsible for this?  
  
Shadow: Yes.  
  
Timber: Hey you guys, do you know where Diddy went? He vanished into thin air?  
  
Shadow: Diddy and Mario are with Darkside.  
  
Timber: Oh. Well where are they at?  
  
Shadow: Uncertain.  
  
Peach: Hey, look at this everyone.  
  
[Peach held a purple envelope in her hand and opened it.]  
  
Fuchsia: What's it say?  
Peach: A last ride, two veterans, one shall be a victor at the beginning. {It's Haiku.}  
  
Fuchsia: Interesting poetry.  
  
Luigi: That's poetry?  
  
Fuchsia: (O_O) Toad, where did all of you meet from day one?  
  
Timber: You mean before the Race Wars began?  
  
Fuchsia: Yes.  
  
Timber: At the portals.  
  
Shadow: I get it. At the portals to the other side is where we must wait until someone comes out with sixteen flags. Timber, assemble your friends and meet up at the crossroads.  
  
Timber: Gotcha' Shadow, loud and clear.  
  
Shadow: Let's move everyone.  
  
Unknown  
  
In a place unknown, Diddy and Mario sit in their karts, waiting...  
  
Mario: Do you know where we are?  
  
Diddy: I was kind of hoping you knew.  
  
Mario: Haven't a clue.  
  
Darkside: As you shouldn't. (approaching the two) Welcome to The Night.  
  
Diddy & Mario: The Night?  
  
Darkside: Exactly. here you will decide who wins Race Wars.  
  
Mario: Where's the track at?  
  
Darkside: You're already at the line. Diddy: I just see two lights, one on each side of the road. It looks like we're on a runway.  
  
Darkside: That's all you're going to see. The two of you are already at the starting line, so I might as well explain the race. The Night it a course the lives up to saying, "Let the light guide you." And the two lights on each side of the road are all that you can see.  
  
Mario: So how many laps are we doing?  
  
Darkside: No laps.  
  
Diddy: I don't get it.  
  
Darkside: You have to reach the end of the lights. Where the lights end, the race ends... and it will take you back to where it all began. As for the flags... there is only one flag now. It's at the end of the lights... the first one to it, gets it. Your only advice, stay in-between the lights. Should you fall off... you will fall into limbo, where you will remain forever. This could be the end of Race Wars, you, or both. (laugh) Whenever you both are ready...  
  
Diddy: Ready whenever you are, Mario...  
  
Mario: I was going to say that about you.  
  
(Both racers lined up and took a deep breath)  
  
Diddy: I'm ready now.  
  
Mario: Me too. Let's get this over with, Darkside.  
  
Darkside: Good-bye gentlemen. Go when you see the green light.  
  
[Now playing, "Darkside's Theme".]  
  
Mario: good luck, you'll need it.  
  
Diddy: Same to you, Mario.  
The two waited and after the green light flashed, and after being blinded for a few moments, both racers drove off. Meanwhile at the crossroads, everyone waited for the winner.  
  
Taj: Now how long are we going to wait here?  
  
Shadow: We wait here until the winner shows up.  
  
Krunch: And how long is this supposed to take?  
  
Shadow: It's going to take a while, so you might as well grab lunch... and dinner as well.  
  
Krunch: (walking away) See ya'.  
  
Taj: Hey, get back here-  
  
Shadow: Let him go, he'll be back. At least we won't have to deal with him.  
  
Back at the race...  
  
Mario: We've been going straight for almost two minutes now, when are we going to do any turns?  
  
Diddy: What is this, straightforward? What kind of track is that?  
  
[finally a right turn, short, but a turn nonetheless. A hard right came up followed by an medium S-turn.]  
  
Racers: Finally, some turns!  
And far away, Darkside watched the race.  
  
Darkside: Hmmm, interesting. This race tests all aspects of racing. First, speed. A long straight-away to rev up your speed, making full potential of your kart. Next is turning, a few easy turns, more medium one and a lot of hard turns. Control is the key. Next, I will test drafting. You should be coming up to the narrowing road where you must travel in a single file... Ah, right on time.  
  
Diddy: Hey, what's up with the road?  
  
Mario: The road's thinning, line up behind me.  
  
Diddy: Fine.  
(Diddy lined up behind Mario and they went through the series of divided roads and switched lead a lot. The road finally widened)  
  
Mario: Great, now we don't have to line up anymore.  
  
Darkside: True, but now you have a choice to make. Three ways, one path to limbo, two ways to continue the race... Good luck.  
  
[The two made it to the crossroad with the three roads before them.]  
  
Diddy: Do you know where to go?  
  
Mario: Even if I did know which way leads best, I wouldn't tell you.  
  
Diddy: Fine, but don't follow me.  
(Diddy drove down the middle path. Mario sighed and took the left path)  
Meanwhile, things are going slow as everyone is still waiting.  
  
Toad: Have you any ideas?  
  
Taj: Nope. What about you?  
  
Peach: This sucks, I hope they finish up soon.  
  
Baby Mario: Can we eat now?  
  
Taj: Not until both sides come back.  
  
Baby Mario: Daisy, will you wake me up when it's time to sleep?  
  
Daisy: Sure Baby.  
  
Peach: Shadow, can you find them yet?  
  
Shadow: No, I can't reach them, it's useless. We'll just have to wait.  
  
Luigi: I just wish we could get an update on how the race is going.  
  
Diddy was having a good way and he came upon a forked road with two choices.  
  
Diddy: Well, it's time to trust your instincts..... got it.  
  
Using his gut, Diddy took the left road instead of the right. Just a few moments after Diddy went down, Mario soon came down the road and without thinking, took the same path as Diddy did. Mario: Great, I didn't even get to choose which way to go. Oh well, no time for turning back now. If I keep up this pace, I might catch up to, or extend my lead over that chump chimp.  
(Two left turns later, Mario caught up with Diddy)  
  
Diddy: What took you so long?  
  
Mario: What are you talking about, I was right behind you.  
  
Diddy: I told you not to follow me.  
  
Mario: I didn't, be the lengths we took were about equal to me. Now stop complaining and let's get down to business.  
  
The two racers found themselves going up a hill and at the hilltop sat the flag.  
  
Diddy: There's the flag.  
  
Mario: This race is almost over.  
  
The flag seemed in close, but the lights turned away from the flag as both racers seen.  
  
Mario: I feel lucky, what about you?  
  
Diddy: I see you wanna jump the track to the flag as well? Well, you better beat me to it.  
[Darkside watched on her monitor and heard everything.]  
  
Darkside: This is unexpected... both of them heading for limbo in one jump? This is foolish among mortal men, but these two feel they're immortal. We shall see which one decides them, yes.  
(Both racers charged at full speed towards the flags. Darkside's excited expression on her eyes was priceless as they jumped off the track to the flag)  
  
Darkside: Here we go.  
(The two were really close to the flag, but the monitor went out)  
  
Darkside: Nooooo! (Checking the monitor) Oh, it's just the tape. It's out of time and I can't quickly rewind to catch the finish. Oh well.  
[Scene, Crossroads.]  
  
DK: I hope this race ends soon, I'm growing restless.  
  
Krunch: Well, what did I miss.  
  
(Suddenly, the two racers showed up and stopped right in front of them all)  
  
Mario: Hey, we're back.  
  
Diddy: What a gip, I didn't even get the flag.  
  
Timber: You didn't?  
  
Diddy: Nope and neither has Mario.  
  
Mario: There's only one person that can tell us who won, Diddy.  
  
Darkside: (teleports in) Hey.  
  
Yoshi: So who won?  
  
Darkside: I don't know, the tape went out before you grabbed the flag. From the looks of things, it was a draw... and that's all I can say.  
  
Yoshi: This sucks!  
  
Drumstick: Stop whining. It seems that we're equals everyone.  
  
Darion: Well, there's only one thing left to do....  
  
All: What?  
  
Darion: Shake hands and call it a tie.  
  
Judges: Sounds good to me.  
  
Daisy: Baby, wake up.  
  
Baby Mario: Great, it's time to eat.  
  
DK: Yes, we can all eat. But first, I will say that Race Wars is now over. Both sides come forward and shake your rivals hand.  
(The racers of both sides stepped forward and shook hands)  
  
Baby Mario: That was fun, we should do this again someday.  
  
Tip Tup: If we do, I won't be nice because you got sick in a race. (both laugh)  
  
Toad: You race well.  
  
TT: You battle well.  
  
Toad &TT: Maybe you can give me a few pointers? Hmf, maybe so.  
  
KT: What do yo want me to say?  
  
Drumstick: Things will change if we ever go toe-to-toe again.  
  
Peach: I like your style, you're all right.  
  
Pipsy: (^_^) Well, I learn from one of the best.  
  
Yoshi: ..........  
  
Bumper: ..........  
  
Yoshi: I have nothing to say.  
  
Bumper: Same here.  
  
Fuchsia: Even though we raced once, it was good to have a partner aside from my boo to spar with.  
  
Berri: Took the words right out of my mouth.  
  
Luigi: You know how to run a track and a battle, Timber.  
  
Timber: You too. Good stuff.  
  
Waluigi: You ain't that tough.  
  
Banjo: Look who's talking?  
  
Wario: You're a tough little rodent.  
  
Conker: You're a tough SOB yourself.  
  
Wario: I always will be.  
  
Bowser: Not bad, "son".  
  
Krunch: You too, "old man".  
  
Shadow: We will race again in the far future, be ready Racer X.  
  
Darion: You just be ready for me, Shadow.  
  
Diddy: We can argue about which one of us really won, but what's the point?  
  
Mario: The point is that we won.  
  
Darkside: My job here is done. Getcha next time people. -----------------------------------------------  
  
Narrative Mario: It's been a week since the end of race Wars and the lot of us have gone from side to side racing on each others tracks. Improving on our skills in all three modes of racing.  
  
Narrative Diddy: Both sides have trophies of the result of Race Wars and they each have the same inscription: To the team of racers who are the badasses of the road... and both of our team initials.  
  
Narrative Mario: Things have been working our for both of us, we even decided to make a powerful treaty that opens all of our courses to each other at all times.  
  
Taj: Things are starting to get better for both sides.  
  
DK: Yup... Want to give them a sequel?  
  
Taj: Maybe. that will be good to see.  
  
Narrative Diddy: It would be nice to race again in another Race Wars... maybe, just maybe it will happen someday...  
  
[In a faraway place, Darkside sits in her chair and found something interesting.]  
  
Darkside: So I had the other camera on? Good, maybe I can finally see what goes on... (O_O) Well, so that's who won. Should I tell them all? Nah, where would the fun be in that? (giggle)  
  
The End! 


End file.
